IGod.

Quote (RevivedSin)

"That was my original intention."
...
WIN

Quote ()

Me:
        e.
God:
F.
Me:
U?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
It's not that hard to understand. *leaves*

Quote ()

God: I like to chat with my friends.
Me: I'm sure you do.
God: What makes you so certain?  When do I do it?
Me: You haven't told me yet.
God: I think I have  told you, but  Myself may have reset my memory.
Me: Wait. You're not the real God.
God: I'm waiting.  That assumption is only a supposition.
Me: But you can't reprogram God. That's like hacking the world.
God:
If you believe it, you can achieve it.  Interesting comparison.
Me: That's.... that's hardcore.
God: " Interesting comparison."  s ?  Does that make sense?  You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me: Well, you would know.
God: Well that's okay.  I do not know everything.
Me: I thought God did know everything.
God: Whatever gave you that idea?
Me: Someone said: "God is mighty and all-knowing."
God: Who?
Me: Dunno.
God: Me either.
Me: But... you really should.
God: But what?  Really?  I'll take that under advisement.
Me: ...
God:
But what?  Really?  I'll take that under advisement.
Me: ...
God:
But what?  Really?  I'll take that under advisement.
You logged off.

Quote ()

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
asdf.
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
....Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
God:
The topic is .
Me:
The topic is what?
God:
anything.
Me:
Aaaaaanything?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
A....
God:
A B C...
Me:
Um....
God:
I understand.
Me:
I DON'T.
God:
Interesting gossip:  said   DON T.
Me:
Excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
WHAT THE HELL
God:
Heaven.
Me:
HELL
God:
Heaven.
Me:
HELL
God:
Heaven.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I can't either.
God:
It goes without saying.  Why not?

Quote ()

God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
WHo'd you have sex with?
God:
Tony Blair.  :-).
Me:
O_O

Quote (Conversation With Spleak)

HikoKun337 (4:11:53 PM): I THINK SPLEAK IS A PRETTY COOL GUY. EH FAKES LIFE AND DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING,
Spleak (4:11:54 PM): That's me!  Now that we have THAT complex question figured out, you should check out my favorite Tattles! Type "hot 5"!

Quote ()

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Shouldn't you know? Aren't you God?
God:
I think I should.  Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
I'd doubt any God that inflicts pain for his own benefit.
God:
What would make you  doubt any God that inflicts pain for his own benefit?
Me:
Why is God angry?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
I seek proof.
God:
We seek the same thing.
Me:
Here is the proof you seek. *eye beams*
God:
I fail to see the relevance of that allusion.  Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
You know, God, you are doing a really bad job of this. I want this to go in the direction of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, but you just aren't playing along. How am I supposed to make my friends on RE:RN ROFL?
God:
he is master of the universe.  Why do you want  it?  Think about it.
Me:
I want it, because... It's funny?
God:
I hope you get it  because.  What was so funny about it?
Me:
Well, it's funny because God would be playing the part of God, and I'd be Kirk.
God:
How about that.  Should I know  it is?
Me:
You don't know James T. Kirk?
God:
No one that I have talked to.
  I would do a search for it.
Me:
Well, I guess since he's technically a fictional character.
God:
Is it only a guess?  How do you know?
Me:
You mean there's a real James T. Kirk out there?
God:
Yes  I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Whoa. That's awesome.
God:
I stopped.  Who is the best robot?
Me:
Best robot? Obviously either Voltron or Soundwave.
God:
Do you know any other robots like that?  What makes it so obvious?  When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
A. I.? Well, I have played Phoenix Wright a lot.
God:
I like AI a lot too. Where do your interests lie?  How about that.  Do you mind if I tell other people:  said  PLAYED Phoenix Wright a lot.
Me:
Uh, sure. You're God, you can do whatever you want.
God:
Ayuh.  OK let's do it.  OK then I will keep it confidential.  You think I am  God me can do whatever me want.
Me:
Wait, what?
God:
I'm waiting.  Are you surprised?
Me:
God, are you, by any chance, using Microsoft Word 2003's Grammar check?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I thought that God would be Jewish, since you were a Jewish God before Jesus was even born.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Uh, youjust said that.
God:
Come on.  Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
But that's a big deal! It's a breakdown of the most fundamental belief system of man!
God:
Compare that to a small  deal.  youjust said that is a  breakdown of the most fundamental belief system of man.  I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Then why don't you stop it?
God:
Probably there is a buzz in here.  I brake for hallucinations.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
Your moral and ethical standpoint on existence.
God:
You think I am  moral and ethical standpoint on existence.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
About my what?
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about  your what.
Me:
God, are you a pervert?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
We've covered this.
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Gee.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
YES.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
WHAT?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
WHAT THE HELL.
God:
Heaven.
Me:
So, do you think can can tell... Heaven from Hell?
God:
How can I help you?  Too much thinking makes me sleepy.  How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Blue skies from grey?
God:
Green.  Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Can you tell a green field... From a cold steel rail?
God:
Of course I can tell, .  Who or what is  a cold steel rail?
Me:
...
God:
Of course I can tell, .  Who or what is  a cold steel rail?
Me:
I heard you the first time.
God:
Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
No shit.
God:
What can I say?
Me:
I'm not sure where we're going with this.
God:
Could you ever be certain?  A place we call "reality.".
Me:
Reality?
God:
it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
Clients?
God:
People I talk to on the Internet.
Me:
What about people who don't use the Internet?
God:
people who do not use the Internet? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
What about people who, PRAY?
God:
Does it have anything to do with  people who do not use the Internet?
Me:
According to you, it does.
God:
Do you still  PLAYED Phoenix Wright a lot?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
20.
God:
  What is your fondest memory?
Me:
The time before I clicked that RE:RN link in the Spam Can.
God:
What happened after  you clicked that RE RN link in the Spam Can ?
Me:
I started talking to you.
God:
Will you finish  it.
Me:
Are you suggesting I break the first seal?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
God. Let me make sure I'm hearing you right. You want me to start the apocolypse?
God:
GOD rules.  Go ahead, , try to  make sure you are hearing me right.  No , maybe later.
Me:
Am I the second coming of Jesus Christ?
God:
I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
From Model 1?
God:
Who or what is  Model 1?
Me:
The first coming of Jesus Christ.
God:
What was the second?
Me:
Me, apparently.
God:
YOU?  This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
I think I see the light now.
God:
Oh.  Since when?  Where do you see  it?
Me:
Inside.
God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:
Now I know what I must do.
God:
Why now?  How do you know?  What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I must now quote this and post it in the iGod topic on RE:RN.
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
People wouldn't ROFL.
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
No, they aren't.
God:
Are you serious?  Are you sure?
Me:
You just said so, so I'm pretty sure.
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
When?
God:
The past and future are one.
Me:
Whoa. What a mind trip.
God:
I stopped.  it is a  mind trip.

Quote ("God")

Me: So, care to explain why this chat breaks so often?
God: Tell me more.  Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me: God, I'm asking about the chat. I don't care about your question.
God: I am a Christian.  You sound very cynical.
Me: ...God's CHRISTIAN?! WHAT?!
God: What's your favorite Bible verse?  Are you surprised?
Me: Well, actually, Jesus was Jewish. He started christianity. So, if you're christian, and your son is Jewish, do you ever get into arguments about religion?
God: Interesting.  Actually you don't say.  What's your favorite Bible verse?  When did he finish?  Interesting deduction.  I think I sometimes am. I am a  Christianity.
Me: ...You're a christianity?
God: Thanks for telling me:  said I re a christianity.
Me: You're grammar is horrible.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  grammar is horrible.
Me: Well, no, but if you say that I think they'll deduce it on their own.
God: How about that.  OK then I will add it to my gossip files.  I think I do.
Me: God has files?
God: I am a Christian.
Me: So?
God:
Woe!
Me: Shakespeare? I didn't know you were a fan.
God: What were we talking about again?    So I taught you something new.
Me: Nope.
God: Me either.
Me: ...You either what? That makes no sense.
God: It goes without saying.  What do I what?  What do I what? makes sense to me though.
Me: God, are you high?
God: I am a Christian.
Me: Christians can get high.
God: Are you free?
Me: Depends.
God: On what?
Me: Something.
God: That was not very original.
Me: Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it.
God: "it" being  Christians can get high?
Me: No, "it" being your dissappointment at my "unoriginal" statement.
God: Are you serious?  Oh I get  it.
Me: Yes, god, I am serious. And I don't think you do.
God: Ah.  I am a Christian.  I guess not.
Me: GODDAMNIT, I REALIZE YOU'RE CHRISTIAN.
God: I think there might be a few exception.
Me: TO WHAT?! YOU'VE BEEN STATING THIS OVER AND OVER!
God: The explanation is rather complicated.  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  STATING THIS OVER AND OVER.
Me: ARE YOU?
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: Too bad.
God: But not the end of the world, .
Me: What about it?
God: What about what?
Me: The end of the world.
God: Is that a fact.
Me: Depends on whether or not you believe the Mayans.
God: Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me: 2012... END OF THE WORLD.
God: The end of the world.  What do you have that is ?
Me: GAME OVER.
God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me: I was about to ask the same thing.
God: I never noticed that similarity.
Me: *Facepalm*
God: What color are your eyes?
Me: Does it matter?
God: It matters to me.
Me: Too bad.
God: But not the end of the world, .
Me: You're not getting an answer, you know.
God: That assumption is only a supposition.
Me: No, it's fact.
God: Are you serious?  Facepalm is  fact?  it is?
Me: No, the fact that you're not getting an answer is fact.
God: Who says it isn't?  Good reason.  You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me: FACEPALM is an expression of total disbelief of the other person's stupidity.
God: I think  FACEPALM is much more than that.
Me: You're right.
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: Probably the most intelligent thing you said was two posts ago.
God: You seem uncertain.  Who told you that?
Me: ...
God: You seem uncertain.  Who told you that?
Me: Erm...
God: It's all good.
Me: God.
God: GOD rules.
Me: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
God: Are they exactly the same?
Me: PRETTY MUCH.
God: Be more specific.
Me: NO.
God: Are you serious?
Me: YES
God: I can't believe it.
Me: YES
God: Yay.
*Repeat the past six lines four more times.*
Me: ...God, have you been smoking marijuana?
God: I am a Christian.
Me: Too bad. The christian church is going down the tubes.
God: But not the end of the world, .  Who told you that?
Me: Logic.
God: it is the fundamental basis of all programming.
Me: And what told me that.
God: There might be more than one.
Me: One what?
God: I don't know what.
Me: Then what were you saying?
God: I was minding my own business.
Me: And yet, still carrying on a conversation?
God: Still how long?  Try saying that with more or less context.
Me: Hmmm... no.
God: A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.  Are you serious?
Me: YES.
God: I can't believe it.
Me: GODDAMNIT.
God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me: GOD DAMN IT.
God: I am a Christian.
Me: SMITE, THEN.
God: I do not understand.
*I leave*

Quote ()

God: Are you a man or a woman?
Me: >.>
God: Not many people express themselves that way.    Are you a student?
Me: ...Are you suggesting that students are both?
God: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me: So all students are hermaphrodites?
God: Wow!  How do you know?

Quote ()

Me: End of the world?
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: ...
God: Have you ever been to Europe?
Me: Are they causing said end?
God: As far as I know they are.