Wise sayings gone wrong.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me three times, shame on my cousin, fool me four times, you get elected.

Make a wish and you'll only be miserable.

Let sleeping dogs get nudered unexpectedly.

Drugs are bad for your health, but so is marriage.

A penny saved is desperate living.

Cherish every moment, because you're a loser in reality.

Every waking moment is a sleeping moment wasted.

People who don't think before they speak often are executed.

Give joy to others and you'll have none left for yourself.

You've only failed when you're SHUR YOU FAILED!

We freeze at the same temperature.
((We boil at different degrees))

People who live in glass houses shouldn't live in them, period.
SEMICOLON!
QUESTION MARK!

The pen was mightier than the sword until the sword decided it'd taken enough shit.

A watched pot never boils: but an unwatched one will eat your children.

All that glitters isn't gold: BUT IT'S SHIINYYYYY.

Don't cry over spilled milk; everything is relative.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, unless you're an amoeba.

Blondes have more fun.
That's not messed-up, it's true. :3

The best things in life cost at least eight bucks

Boys will be boys; unless they have a sudden change of heart

Time flies when you're supposed to be doing homework

Beauty is only skin deep: do you find intestines attractive?

Birds of a feather shoot glocks together

Dead men tell no tales; unless there's a handy necromancer

He who loves thorns will have patience with their roses

Hell hath no fury like that of an American in Civil Court.

That's all I got for now.
-yawn-

Birds of a feather make great apatisers.

There's no place like home, and thank God for that.

Don't make fun of geeks, you will get crushed by their mecha if you do.

if at first you don't suceed. bribe someone to do it for you.

if you have lemons, sell them for lemonade mix.

If life gives you lemons, find someone who's life gave them Vodka and have yourselves a party!

"Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead"
- Rincewind, the Light Fantastic

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me- you can't get fooled again."
-Dubya

((Um, that FIRST one was the real saying zyborg.))

The Right hand dosn't know what the Left hand is doing, and yet we let the Right and Left work together in Congress.

((The real saying, in Poor Richard's Almanac written by Benjamin Franklin, if I'm not mistaken, is "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.))

That's that creepy Shuryou's laugh!