Operator
Name: Rion Uzikiri
Age:13
Gender: male
Appearance: Rion is a tallish skinny boy, with brown hair and brown eyes.He wears a red t-shirt with a flame stripe on it, and a lightblue jacket. He also wears camouflage jeans, and and red sneakers.
Personality: Rion is usully a nice friendly person, and sometimes timid and overly cautious. but he is also very reliable
PET Modifications: Rion's PET is a red advanced PET with a little flame strpie on it.
NetNavi
Name: BlazeMan EXE.
Gender: Male
Element: Fire
Type: Sword
Appearanance: BlazeMan has an orange body with a red helmet,gloves and boots. his symbol is to crossed flames with a sword in the middle. he is the same hight as his operator, and has blue eyes.
Personality:Will do anything to protect a friend. he is always alert. he also knows how to think things through, unlike his operator.
Custom Weapon: Blaze Buster-shoots small pellets of flame.
Signature Attack: Blaze Sword- 45 damage with a two turn cooldown. also causes a slight burn that causes 5 damage for three turns.
BlazeMan EXE and Rion Uzikiri
last edited by
Hi! I can't approve you, but I can give you some helpful advice. My advice shall be in.....BLUE!
All in all, there are a few things to adjust and change. Overall, try and add a bit more, fix the Navi appearance and SigAttk and perhaps run it through a spell check.
Quote ()
Operator
Name: Rion Uzikir Fine
Age:13 Fine
Gender: male Fine
Appearance: Rion is a tallish skinny boy, with brown hair and brown eyes.He wears a red t-shirt with a flame stripe on it, and a lightblue jacket. He also wears camouflage jeans, and and red sneakers. Hmmm, bare minimum but at least it is in paragraph form
Personality: Rion is usully a nice friendly person, and sometimes timid and overly cautious. Rion has a mixture of personalities such as semming depressed all the time. Same as appearance
PET Modifications: Rion's PET is a red advanced PET with a little flame strpie on it. Fine
NetNavi
Name: BlazeMan EXE. Umm...I think this name is taken, but I'm not sure.
Gender: Male Fine
Element: Fire Fine
Type: Sword Fine
Appearance: Looks slighly like megaman because a very tiny fragment of megaman's appearence data was used on him by mistake. he is mosley red. (he only has MegaMan's slight appearence, not Megaman's abilitys or powers) Bad...Did you read the rules? In registrations, you are not allowed to say things like "Looks like so and so" or "Has whoever's blaster". You have to explain it in your own words.
Personality:Will do anything to protect a friend. he is always alert. he also knows how to think things through, unlike his operator. Very sparse...Add a bit more, alright?
Custom Weapon: Blaze Buster-shoots small pellets of flame.
Signature Attack: Blaze Sword-20 damage with a 1 turn cooldown. Um, you can deal 40 DMG and still have a 1 TCD. Also, is it fire damage?
All in all, there are a few things to adjust and change. Overall, try and add a bit more, fix the Navi appearance and SigAttk and perhaps run it through a spell check.
last edited by
Hmm, better. It's still a bit sparse, but it's better. However, the edited SigAttk brings me to another question. "Slight burn"? What precisely do you mean by this? Does it have a mechanical effect or is it just fluff? If it has a mechanical effect, then it will raise your Sig value by some number of points, thus changing your CD so you should probably define your terms a tad better.
last edited by
Quote (Falzar)
NetNavi
Name: BlazeMan EXE.
Gender: Male
Element: Fire
Type: Sword
Appearanance: BlazeMan has an orange body with a red helmet,gloves and boots. his symbol is to crossed flames with a sword in the middle. he is the same hight as his operator, and has blue eyes.
Personality:Will do anything to protect a friend. he is always alert. he also knows how to think things through, unlike his operator.
Custom Weapon: Blaze Buster-shoots small pellets of flame.
Signature Attack: Blaze Sword- 45 damage with a two turn cooldown. also causes a slight burn that causes 5 damage for three turns.
Operator is fine, if filled with horrible spelling errors.
As for the navi...
I believe 'Blazeman' is a canon navi's name. Please change the name. The navi's description (Personality, appearance, etc) are also fine.
The custom weapon doesn't exactly make sense (Why would a sword navi use a gun?), but it's fine as well.
As for the sig attack...
It needs a description.
Ala, Blaze Sword: Blazeman pulls out a sword made entirely of flame, and strikes an enemy with it. The flames also catch the enemy on fire, dealing additional damage over time. (45 FIRE damage, plus 5 FIRE damage each turn for next 3 turns. 2CD.)
If you copy-paste that exact description, by the way, I'll hurt you.
Either way, please make the requested changes.
-Twi
