As ever, Holly is decked out in her classic Christmas apparel, a snug red tube-top dress with a skirt short enough to show off her knees and a hint of her thighs. Her light brown hair is topped with a Santa cap, and her gloves and boots match, with little sprigs of holly on the wrists and ankles of each, along with a matching red choker. Her appearance is so inviting that navis and netops alike wish they could join her for one of her Netiday gatherings, despite certain incidents in the past that tend to reoccur in slightly different forms in every instance.
"Welcome one and all, to the very beginning of this Netiday season charity drive! Thank you for joining me by the fire. I hope your night is warm, comfortable, and most of all, full of the smiles of your loved ones. I'll have a lot of very special guests showing up later in the night; in fact, I think I hear them coming through the toy factory right this moment!" the hostess announced, pressing her hands together excitedly. "I'm Holly, and tonight is the night we set factions and whatever other nastiness aside in order to come together resources for charity. We've got all kinds of plans, but I wanted to start by addressing something that's a little different this year: this fabulous factory! Thanks to the generosity of several benefactors, we have not only this lovely toy factory to stage our show in, but also, two other features that are a little special. One is a fantastic prize, to be given away by lottery to one of our lucky donors! What is it? Well, that's a secret! We can't reveal it until the end of our special, so you'll just have to stay tuned!" Holly teased, winking as she shifted out of her seat and onto the side of the desk, revealing a large, spinning data packet behind her, glowing green and red with the colors of the festivities.
"As for the final detail, well... you all know we've had a few accidents in the past, regarding the proceedings and, shall we say... hmmm... unfortunate events of various kinds, intentional or otherwise. This time, along with the factory, we've been donated an advanced system that is guaranteed to make sure our show goes off with no hitches! This advanced system puts everyone into appropriate wardrobe for the event, checks any gifts they've brought in, accompanies them through the toy factory to this room, and monitors for any strangers in the vicinity. In short, it's the perfect all-in-one security system slash Netiday party manager!" she announced at length, clapping and sounding personally excited about the prospect of making it out of one of these things with her dignity in tact for once. "I've just finished feeding in all of the data into the system, with the instruction to make this a great Netiday special. No shenanigans this time around!"
As if on cue, two of the Netiday ornaments, nutcracker soldiers on either side of the desk, began to slide backwards. "Oh ho! Looks like the system is already in action. Have you already noticed something in the factory that needs fixing up?" she asked, crossing her hands into her lap. "These remind me a bit of our sometimes-guest Waltz. Do you all remember?" Holly joked, facing the screen with a soft smile. "So, let's just see what modifications the system is making... wait. Hm... I believe there's an error in the logic-" she began, pulling out a small, hologram viewscreen and thumbing across it with her gloved hands, as suddenly a string of shiny, red ribbons shot from the nutcracker's open mouth, across her eyes, and connected into the opposite nutcracker's mouth. Its head was raised slightly from its body, so that the diagonal ribbon would cover her eyes exactly. Quickly, the nutcrackers began spinning in a circle around the desk. "W-Wait, the guests aren't even here yet! Cut the camera-!" the unfortunate hostess wailed, as suddenly, the feed cut out, replaced with a simple placeholder card:
Quote
"We are experiencing technical difficulties! Grab some milk and cookies while you wait. We thank you for your patience!"
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The feed to this Netiday special would never be restored. The events of that day were to be lost to time, untold, an even darker than usual spot on the history of this recurring broadcast... except, due to the toy factory's elaborate camera system, some of the footage from around the event was kept and recovered, ultimately entering distribution around the net. Some came by invite, expecting an earnest Netiday show. Some came for the promise of riches, now abandoned, ripe for the picking. Some came to try and retrieve the unlucky, those trapped by the devious machinations of a rogue Netiday security system. Their tales are preserved for those with the drive (and the lack of regard for others' dignity) to find.
Be warned, potential viewers: these broadcasts are not appropriate for children...
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The Noisy Netiday Thief
"Ha ha ha! You're a bad one, Miss Hood! You really are a jerk! You sneak in when there's trouble, and of a theft, you make short work! Miiiiiss Hooo-hoood!"
A not entirely melodious voice ran out as a figure in green began to make her way down the chimney leading into the main Netiday broadcast room, where the tantalizing mystery data had been shown to any viewer tuning in. This lady, taking the most direct route in, was clad in a Robin Hood getup, complete with a green hood, an eye mask to hide her identity (?), and a lighter green tunic, miniature skirt (that flapped breezily despite its size), matching gloves, belt, and boots. A quiver and bow could be seen on her back as she used a grappling device to lower herself slowly down the chute. Her proportions, namely her oversized bust, could only be the product of some very horny programming, but her boisterous personality and singing voice seemed not just unsuited to a thief, but also, generally, irritating enough to offset whatever she had in terms of looks.
The camera alternated shots from above and below her; from above, it was hard to ignore the huge swell of her bosom, and from below, every minor movement of her plump thighs caused her shamelessly short skirt to slide further down her bottom, revealing more of the dark green, leotard-style bodysuit she wore underneath her outfit. "The gift is mine for the taking! Only I have the ambition to claim this fantastic prize... though I may grab a couple of cookies too, while I'm at it," she chuckled to herself. Either she was speaking to an operator, or she was just the kind of person who talked to herself.
Hood had made it about halfway down the chute when she noticed it seemed to narrow into a square shaped opening, which had passed so quickly that it was hard to tell from the opening footage. "Hmmm... woop!" she chuckled, intending to sweep her whole body through in one quick swing. Instead, her over-sized bosom got stuck on one side, while her waist and legs dangled down, visible kicking just above where the fire had been lit earlier, now suspiciously extinguished. "Aaaah, the perils of being so deadly glamorous," she joked with herself, raising her arms in an attempt to make her profile narrower and finish scooting inside.
"Is somebody out there? Please... I could use some help," a slightly muffled voice came from inside, recognizable as Holly's. It sounded as though she was talking around something and it didn't take much imagination to guess what had happened.
"Help? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh no, it seems your misfortune is my fortune! Tied up as I imagine you are, you'll be completely unable to stop my nefarious purposes," Hood guffawed, as though she wasn't, herself, stuck. "I, the master thief, Hood, will make off with all of your valuables! I may even make off with a pair of your panties! Those are probably collector's items, right?" As if hell itself had immediately decided to claim her in retribution for her evil behavior, the fire beneath her suddenly lit up, scorching the tips of her boots. "Gack! Are you really tied up in there? The fire just came on!"
"Didn't you watch the footage?" Holly asked, now sounding more irritated than anything. "The system's gone haywire. Everyone in the plant is being attacked!"
"Y-Yes, but I entered down the chimney! There's no way it could have anticipated my approach!" Hood cried indignantly, omitting the part where she'd been singing loudly earlier to foretell her arrival. "No matter! I'll simply squeeze the rest of the way out..." Immediately in response, the fire seemed to pick up causing her to angle her legs so that they were now spread, holding onto either side of the chimney. The camera managed to grab a very rude shot of this from the front, just outside the fireplace, at a low vantage point. "No! No no! This is ridiculous! What kind of dangerous toy factory is this?!" she complained.
"... You can't really blame this particular part on the system," Holly murmured, barely audible due to the wrap in her mouth. "That's just you getting stuck in a chimney with a fire in it."
"Nonsense! This is devious, too devious!" Hood protested further, wiggling hard. "You know what it is? I got it! It's just this darned belt, my harness, all that stuff. If I get rid of that, it will be easy to squeeze fully through. My great bosom is a boon, not a hindrance!" she boldly proclaimed, dismissing those items immediately. That, of course, made no difference; even with her dress more loose now and the quiver and bow out of the way, the main problem remained her gigantic rack. "Hrrrgh!"
Holly had gone quiet now. She was evidently no longer convinced that she could help Hood, nor that she would be receiving any help from the first one on the scene.
"D-Don't just go quiet like that! I'm going to get through this! It's all this cloth fabric, yes! If I simply get rid of it, I can easily finish pulling through!" she explained, raising one finger unseen behind the chimney wall. She additionally dismissed the hood and the full dress, leaving her in just the skimpy leotard and mask, while her overly flashy, long, blond hair spilled out from behind. "Ha ha ha ha ha... ha!" she cackled, obviously having no greater luck pushing through. "Grrrrr! Aren't you a pro at escaping situations like this already!? Aren't you supposed to be a good person?! It's your duty to help me out of this blasted chimney! Just let me out of here and we'll duel fairly, reasonably!" she complained. "I'll bet you've got your big fat ass stuck in the desk chair, don't you? Ha ha! Not so high and mighty now, hmmmmmm?! A few too many Christmas cookies?!"
"You know, actually, you just about have it. I think if the leotard came off and it was just your bare body, you could probably finish getting through," Holly added, with a flat tone in her voice.
"Of course! I'll use my beach bikini!" Hood announced, dismissing the leotard to leave her in just a scandalously small green thong bikini, with over-sized leaves added over the groin and breasts for whatever reason. These would be familiar only to those who'd tangled with her agitating shenanigans as a thief on the beach before. Regardless, the pose was quite a thing to see, given so little coverage. Also, of course... this new state of dress did nothing to help her finish pulling through. The camera alternated below shots and above shots, where the leafs creased and crumpled apart under the pressure of her bosom rubbing the brickwork of the chimney. The bikini itself began to displace slightly as well with the effort. "You know... I think I may just cut my losses and push back up."
"You do that," Holly recommended.
As Hood pushed up with both her legs and her arms, her own hips made it difficult to squirm up. Furthermore, another unseen development: the tip of her lower leaf had caught fire, eating it from the tip slowly towards the intersection between her legs. "Here we go... Yes... I'm getting it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You'll never catch me, Holly!" she bragged, omitting the part where she was leaving empty-handed and had committed no actual theft. "There it... Ah... Aaaaah!! Something's burning me! Help, help!" she protested, shaking her hips and legs frantically in an attempt to put it out. Finally, she stuck one hand down the chimney covering her groin, and dismissed the lower bikini altogether, stopping the fire. Her modesty only protected by one hand, and now more stuck than ever, she carefully angled her hand away from the fire while keeping her legs pressed to either side of the chimney's walls. "... Bah humbug..." she grumbled, finally losing her zest for either boasting or escape. "Can we just go back and I learn a lesson not to steal things, to be a good person, my heart grows three sizes, and all that?"
Finally feeling a pang of sympathy again, Holly spoke up quietly. "Don't worry... We cut the feed. I don't think this is going to be broadcast anywhere."
A not entirely melodious voice ran out as a figure in green began to make her way down the chimney leading into the main Netiday broadcast room, where the tantalizing mystery data had been shown to any viewer tuning in. This lady, taking the most direct route in, was clad in a Robin Hood getup, complete with a green hood, an eye mask to hide her identity (?), and a lighter green tunic, miniature skirt (that flapped breezily despite its size), matching gloves, belt, and boots. A quiver and bow could be seen on her back as she used a grappling device to lower herself slowly down the chute. Her proportions, namely her oversized bust, could only be the product of some very horny programming, but her boisterous personality and singing voice seemed not just unsuited to a thief, but also, generally, irritating enough to offset whatever she had in terms of looks.
The camera alternated shots from above and below her; from above, it was hard to ignore the huge swell of her bosom, and from below, every minor movement of her plump thighs caused her shamelessly short skirt to slide further down her bottom, revealing more of the dark green, leotard-style bodysuit she wore underneath her outfit. "The gift is mine for the taking! Only I have the ambition to claim this fantastic prize... though I may grab a couple of cookies too, while I'm at it," she chuckled to herself. Either she was speaking to an operator, or she was just the kind of person who talked to herself.
Hood had made it about halfway down the chute when she noticed it seemed to narrow into a square shaped opening, which had passed so quickly that it was hard to tell from the opening footage. "Hmmm... woop!" she chuckled, intending to sweep her whole body through in one quick swing. Instead, her over-sized bosom got stuck on one side, while her waist and legs dangled down, visible kicking just above where the fire had been lit earlier, now suspiciously extinguished. "Aaaah, the perils of being so deadly glamorous," she joked with herself, raising her arms in an attempt to make her profile narrower and finish scooting inside.
"Is somebody out there? Please... I could use some help," a slightly muffled voice came from inside, recognizable as Holly's. It sounded as though she was talking around something and it didn't take much imagination to guess what had happened.
"Help? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh no, it seems your misfortune is my fortune! Tied up as I imagine you are, you'll be completely unable to stop my nefarious purposes," Hood guffawed, as though she wasn't, herself, stuck. "I, the master thief, Hood, will make off with all of your valuables! I may even make off with a pair of your panties! Those are probably collector's items, right?" As if hell itself had immediately decided to claim her in retribution for her evil behavior, the fire beneath her suddenly lit up, scorching the tips of her boots. "Gack! Are you really tied up in there? The fire just came on!"
"Didn't you watch the footage?" Holly asked, now sounding more irritated than anything. "The system's gone haywire. Everyone in the plant is being attacked!"
"Y-Yes, but I entered down the chimney! There's no way it could have anticipated my approach!" Hood cried indignantly, omitting the part where she'd been singing loudly earlier to foretell her arrival. "No matter! I'll simply squeeze the rest of the way out..." Immediately in response, the fire seemed to pick up causing her to angle her legs so that they were now spread, holding onto either side of the chimney. The camera managed to grab a very rude shot of this from the front, just outside the fireplace, at a low vantage point. "No! No no! This is ridiculous! What kind of dangerous toy factory is this?!" she complained.
"... You can't really blame this particular part on the system," Holly murmured, barely audible due to the wrap in her mouth. "That's just you getting stuck in a chimney with a fire in it."
"Nonsense! This is devious, too devious!" Hood protested further, wiggling hard. "You know what it is? I got it! It's just this darned belt, my harness, all that stuff. If I get rid of that, it will be easy to squeeze fully through. My great bosom is a boon, not a hindrance!" she boldly proclaimed, dismissing those items immediately. That, of course, made no difference; even with her dress more loose now and the quiver and bow out of the way, the main problem remained her gigantic rack. "Hrrrgh!"
Holly had gone quiet now. She was evidently no longer convinced that she could help Hood, nor that she would be receiving any help from the first one on the scene.
"D-Don't just go quiet like that! I'm going to get through this! It's all this cloth fabric, yes! If I simply get rid of it, I can easily finish pulling through!" she explained, raising one finger unseen behind the chimney wall. She additionally dismissed the hood and the full dress, leaving her in just the skimpy leotard and mask, while her overly flashy, long, blond hair spilled out from behind. "Ha ha ha ha ha... ha!" she cackled, obviously having no greater luck pushing through. "Grrrrr! Aren't you a pro at escaping situations like this already!? Aren't you supposed to be a good person?! It's your duty to help me out of this blasted chimney! Just let me out of here and we'll duel fairly, reasonably!" she complained. "I'll bet you've got your big fat ass stuck in the desk chair, don't you? Ha ha! Not so high and mighty now, hmmmmmm?! A few too many Christmas cookies?!"
"You know, actually, you just about have it. I think if the leotard came off and it was just your bare body, you could probably finish getting through," Holly added, with a flat tone in her voice.
"Of course! I'll use my beach bikini!" Hood announced, dismissing the leotard to leave her in just a scandalously small green thong bikini, with over-sized leaves added over the groin and breasts for whatever reason. These would be familiar only to those who'd tangled with her agitating shenanigans as a thief on the beach before. Regardless, the pose was quite a thing to see, given so little coverage. Also, of course... this new state of dress did nothing to help her finish pulling through. The camera alternated below shots and above shots, where the leafs creased and crumpled apart under the pressure of her bosom rubbing the brickwork of the chimney. The bikini itself began to displace slightly as well with the effort. "You know... I think I may just cut my losses and push back up."
"You do that," Holly recommended.
As Hood pushed up with both her legs and her arms, her own hips made it difficult to squirm up. Furthermore, another unseen development: the tip of her lower leaf had caught fire, eating it from the tip slowly towards the intersection between her legs. "Here we go... Yes... I'm getting it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You'll never catch me, Holly!" she bragged, omitting the part where she was leaving empty-handed and had committed no actual theft. "There it... Ah... Aaaaah!! Something's burning me! Help, help!" she protested, shaking her hips and legs frantically in an attempt to put it out. Finally, she stuck one hand down the chimney covering her groin, and dismissed the lower bikini altogether, stopping the fire. Her modesty only protected by one hand, and now more stuck than ever, she carefully angled her hand away from the fire while keeping her legs pressed to either side of the chimney's walls. "... Bah humbug..." she grumbled, finally losing her zest for either boasting or escape. "Can we just go back and I learn a lesson not to steal things, to be a good person, my heart grows three sizes, and all that?"
Finally feeling a pang of sympathy again, Holly spoke up quietly. "Don't worry... We cut the feed. I don't think this is going to be broadcast anywhere."
MORE TO COME?