...Stays in NetVegas

Come on, Tem — this is never going to work! This guy's got a maintenance lists and authorization-ing things. Let's just punch his stupid techie face in and be done with it! I mean... look at him! He's just a nerdy little blue thing! laughed Argo, Give me control of your arms, Rasshole. Hell, give me one arm. And pin the other one behind your back. That's all I'm gonna need.

Argo, I know that for some absolutely incomprehensible reason you subsist on idiocy and incompetence, scowled Tem, but if it's all the same to you, I'd greatly appreciate your cooperation in keeping that meatheaded, small-minded mouth of yours shut! Rass, meanwhile, placed a protoplasmic finger on his chin, contemplating the situation and regarding the maintenance navi with a curious countenance.

Argo seemed to chuckle. Testy, testy, he said You know if you're feelin' sorry about tellin' Suien about being better off rogue, there's a much better way to show it. This stupid espionage-and-negotiate junk only works in the movies. Remember what happened that last time we tried to negotiate our way outta a fight? That sucked.

I am acutely aware of the risks involved in this present strategy, Argo. replied an impatient Tem, Nevertheless, as a network navigator, our top priority should be protecting the anonymity of Sui... of our netOp. I... I mean, we need to demonstrate that we are fully capable of protecting his interests. We're getting that video data.

-*-

Unfortunately for Tem, at that instant, Suien had very little need for the aforementioned video data. As the bathroom door slammed open with a resounding crack, all eyes turned to face the newest participant in the events of the progressively convoluted day.

"Oooh yeah..." muttered Chuckles, his eyes widening in apprehension, "I told you $%&$ers it was a girl."

-*-

Face it, Tem, you're just tryin' to make it up to Suien, aren't you? You're feeling guilty for being such a %$&%$ to him! smirked Argo, swirling into existence on Rass' chest, There's no point in bein' all stealthy and stuff though — we weren't made for charisma like some navis. I'm not even sayin' we should go and beat the crap out of this guy, even though he's totally asking for it. I'm just sayin' that we should maybe... "persuade" him a little bit. Threaten to rough him up a little bit. No point in pussyfootin' around like a little %$&%$, even if that's what you are.

Tem snapped. She had been having a bad day up until this point, but Argo's snide taunts pushed her over the edge. The tactical subsystem erupted at Argo, this time not bothering to turn off Rass' vocal synchronizers.

"Listen, you incompetent worm, I don't enjoy all of this stupid investigation bull$%&% any more than you do, but you're going to need to shove it and let me do my job! Maybe then you'll realize that compared to a peerless program like myself, you're nothing but junk data! I don't relish the thought of working with you today, or any other day of the week, but I'm going to ask that you shut up, stay the hell out of my way, and let me do what I need to do! I'm getting the video data from last night, and I suggest you go along with it unless you're so carelessly stupid that you want to compromise your safety and that of everyone around you!"

Tem, instantly realizing that her tirade was expelled full force from Rass' mouth, was too stunned to offer some ameliorating words to the hapless mechanic. Argo, for his part could only chortle before retreating into Rass' internal systems and initializing the battle routine. Well... that works too, he quipped, Guess we're goin' for threatening after all. Hell if I'm complaining.

Rass gulped, but nodded his head, glaring at the mechanic with as much intensity as his small, pink frame would allow.

1: "Threaten" maintenance navi into giving the desired video data
2-6: Prepped dodge
bump
The camera-'wielding' maintenance navi blinked in response to Tem's outburst. "You know, I had my fun screwing with you earlier, so I was just going to let you go. But if you're going to be like that..." He slammed his fist on a button on the console. In response, an alarm sounded in the vicinity, complete with whatever lighting the network had shifting to a red glow.

"Got a job to do, have fun with security," the navi said. A brilliant flash emanated from the camera's...well, flashbulb, overloading both Rass's vision and scanners. When they returned a second later, the navi was gone.

There was, however, a floating orb about a foot in diameter in his place. Other than several thrusters, its only defining features were a large mechanical eye on one side and a small speaker situated directly above it. This, it seemed, was what was giving off the alarm. It looked around a few seconds before locking on Rass. As it did, two gun turrets extended from either side and trained on him.
___

---Enemies---
CameraMan: Split

Automated Security Drone: 500 HP

---Not Enemies---
RASS.EXE: 80 HP

---Objects---
Console: 200 HP (Anchored)

---Terrain---
-Upper Level-
40% Normal (Platform where console is), 20% Metal (Catwalks leading from platform), 40% Missing (Everywhere else)
-Lower Level-
100% Random (Inactive)
-Currently: 100% Normal

-BATTLE 5, START-
The woman was attractive, that much was confirmed. Even in her disheveled, just-woken-up state, Suien and his cohorts couldn't help but stare a little. Her straight, shoulder-length crimson hair accentuated a set of somewhat soft, but not unappealing features — slightly slanted brown eyes, a rounded nose, and a small tightly-pursed mouth. A pair of black-rimmed glasses sat awkwardly on her nose, slightly askew and suggesting a very unpleasant awakening. Overall, her form was fit, but not necessarily muscular, and the curves of her body were still plainly visible even through the cheap hotel bathrobe. Come to think of it, this is a lot better than I could have expected, thought Suien, continuing to stare, I mean, she's got a similar *look* to Rania, but she's clearly of age, and slightly... well... let's be honest... substantially more well-endowed. All things considered, she's not a bad candidate for a one-night fling of drunken irresponsibility. In fact, I'd say things are starting to look up for...

Wait a minute, is that a taser?!

"What the HELL are you doing in my hotel room?!" she shrieked, her high voice jolting Suien back to reality and causing him to scramble away from the door in alarm. The woman's agitated voice betrayed her rising panic, and Suien, Chuckles, and Joey were all too happy to raise their arms in surrender as they cowered near the bathtub. "Well? Answer me! Tell me what the hell you guys are doing here so I can taser you and call the police!"

"Ah... point of interest?"proffered Suien, waving one of his raised hands sheepishly, "Threatening us with tasering and criminal liability doesn't really give us an incentive to tell you what we're doing." The dark-haired netOp cringed as the weapon was pointed in his direction, but continued to hold his ground. "I mean... just saying. If you're going to shoot us, you should just shoot us, but I... we... would really prefer walking away unshocked... if that's still on the table."

The young lady looked momentarily confused, but continued to keep the stunning device trained on Suien's chest. "Whatever. Maybe I won't zap you. It depends on you giving me a good reason why two guys and a clown are sitting in my bathroom and smoking pot at 9 in the morning." She brought one hand up to adjust her glasses and brush a lock of crimson hair away from her eyes as she glared suspiciously at the three men. And wait, never mind what you're *doing* in my room, who the hell are you anyways? I've never seen you before in my life!

"I don't... I mean... I'm not sure where to begin," muttered Suien, glancing around "I'm certainly sure that I've never actually met ANY of you before." Suien, paused, looked over the young lady, and motioned to their matching bathrobes, "...but apparently, I slept with you."

The young woman's face fell as she lowered the taser and stared dumbfoundedly at Suien. "Y...You?! No... No, no, no, no, no... That's... That's impossible!" she stammered, "No... no, no, no, no..."

Suien looked offended while Joey and Chuckles snickered. "H...Hey!" he protested, "eleven 'no's?' Seriously? I'm not *that* bad looking, am I?" As Chuckles broke out into a full-on laugh, Suien turned indignantly toward his two comrades. "What? Don't laugh, I'm a good catch! Seriously, there's no reason for anyone to be ashamed of being with me! I mean, I'm more athletic than that shopkeep, Suitachi, and *he's* married! To some cute Electopian girl, no less!"

The young lady's taser dropped to her side as she buried her face in her free palm. "My fiancé's going to kill me. God, Kenna, how could you be so STUPID?!" she muttered, Last time was supposed to be... well, the LASTyou let something like this happen to you! You promised yourself that this time, your fiancé wouldn't have any reason to..." Realization suddenly dawned on Kenna's face as an alarming thought settled into her head. "...and I'm supposed to meet him this afternoon! $%&$! I have to get moving! You three %$$holes are lucky that I'm in such a hurry, but you'd better not be here when I get back... or else!" She glared venomously at the three men as she scrambled to pick up her taser and pointed it threateningly toward the trio.

Suien gulped, not wanting to agitate the taser-toting girl any more than he needed to but struggling to find a way to diplomatically inform her that she would not be making her meeting with her fiancé... or at least, escape the situation without 50,000 volts of energy coursing through his veins. "Look, ah... Kenna, was it? I know this whole situation is a little bit... awkward, but maybe it'd be good to relax a little, yeah? I mean... it's NetVegas! All sorts of crazy things happen here, and that's okay, because you know what they say: What happens in NetVegas stays in NetVegas." Noticing that Argo had initialized the battle routine, Suien quickly walked over to his PET and slid a set of battlechips into the PET receptacle. He was about to slide in a fifth when Joey Gigz opened his mouth.

"Oh... yeah, and don't worry about your afternoon meeting - it's 9 at night," offered Joey unhelpfully, eliciting a facepalm from Suien, "you've been in bed sleeping with Masters here all day."

-*-

Well, Suien seems to be advocating a pretty clear strategy here. said Tem dryly, Defensive chips and a MarkCannon. I suppose this means we're evaluating this opponent's combat capabilities instead of shooting for a quick deletion. While I don't know if this is the optimal setup for a maneuver such as this, I submit that this is ultimately the correct tactical decision.

Yeah, well I say it's bor-ring grumbled Argo, sending one fist slamming into the other, If you ask me, we should just go M.A.S.S. and crush that thing in one shot. Pow! Stupid-looking security robot won't know what hit it.

OBSERVATION: THIS SECURITY ROBOT POSSESSES FEATURES THAT SUGGEST A HIGHLY ACCURATE AND EFFICIENT DESIGN! AUTOMATED TARGETING UNITS COMBINED WITH A MECHANICAL EYE SUGGEST A DEADLY AND EFFECTIVE FOE! RECOMMENDED LEVEL OF CAUTION: UTMOST! LEVEL OF DANGER IS CRITICALLY HIGH! shouted Ishamel.

Just because it looks like you doesn't mean it's powerful, laser-brain, snapped Tem, Besides, preliminary scans suggest it's structural integrity is only five times our own. Unless I'm mistaken, that's significantly less than what I would expect at this juncture, given our previous encounters.

"G-Guys? I don't know if this m-makes a difference to you, but have you considered that it's p-possibly illegal for us to be doing something like this?" stammered Rass, nevertheless executing the battle routine uploaded into his circuitry by Tem, "I m-mean, this isn't a virus or a h-heelnavi... it's a security system! Isn't this vandalism or something? I'm p-pretty sure this isn't something we should be d-doing."

All three subsystems paused for a moment to give Rass a harsh look. Though no words were exchanged, Rass sighed and clasped his hands tightly in front of him. "Right, right," he muttered, matching his internal design schematics to the battlechip data that had been downloaded into his circuitry, "I'm such a p-pansy worrywart. W-We're doing this for S-Suien, so no reason to complain. I'm still not c-comfortable with it though." As the fusion navi spoke, a strange circular wireframe burst into existence a few feet in front of the control panel. The green-rimmed sphere gleamed in the darkness as it became filled with bits of protoplasm from Rass' body. Within a few short moments, Rass' one-eyed creation hummed to life, sweeping the area for signs of an opponent. The pink-and-black navi launched himself upwards, firing two blasts of compressed air aimed to knock the strange security droid into the path of the Sensor1 battlechip. His protoplasm gave an elastic snap as it folded back into position, but Rass didn't skip a beat, opting to leap backwards and arm his right palmbuster with a MarkCannon battlechip.

Taking care not to align his shot with the Sensor object, Ishamel took stock of the situation. The crimson targeting subsystem held Rass' arm aloft, making miniscule corrections in the trajectory as he took aim at the Security System's speaker. A flash of light and a resounding crack later, Rass sent a powerful charged projectile hurtling toward the security system. The recoil nearly knocked the small fusion navi off balance, but he did his best to remain on the precarious catwalk as he discharged the energy residue from the blast and accessed his schematic files once again.

-*-

"Please! I need to use my PET! My Navi's jacked into the outside video camera!"

"No way! I'm not letting you get away! Not after what you've done! You've completely ruined my relationship, and now you're going to pay! Who do you think you are, anyways?! Preying on innocent girls who don't know better, getting them drunk and sleeping with them?! You're an $#%hole in the first degree!"

Suien slid higher up the wall as Kenna brought the taser perilously close to his face. Her brown eyes filled with unbridled rage as she continued to berate the pinned netOp. "You know, come to think of it, I don't remember anything about last night. How do I know that you didn't rape me?" she asked, light glinting off the lens of her glasses and giving her a bit of a sinister look, "In fact, you're the one breaking in here with your stoner friends! If that's not evidence of rape, I don't know what is!"

"What?! That's insane! I don't remember last night either! Besides, I don't know why you think that *I* broke into *your* hotel room when this is *my* hotel room!" protested Suien, frantically fishing through his pockets for some sort of receipt to substantiate his point, "What's more, you're wearing a hotel bathrobe, which suggests that you had some voluntary say in the events of the night. Finally... finally..." he paused, thinking desperately for a third defense against the damning accusation, "Finally... you don't know what happened last night! For all we know, we might have just... just slept there! Or watched a movie!"

Kenna didn't look very convinced. "Oh yeah? Well what evidence do YOU have?! How do I have any reason to believe anything that you're saying?"

Suien hesitated, then gestured toward his PET. "The video data. I've been trying to get the video data from that camera over there using my netNavi," he explained, "That's our best shot at figuring out exactly what happened last night. If you care at all about finding out the truth so we can work this out, then you'll get that thing out of my face and... and let me try to finish what I started."

The red-haired girl paused, then sighed, lowered the taser, and shook her head. "The NetVegas Police would probably believe me if I went to them now and told them you're a filthy rapist," she said, "But... this isn't the first time something like this has happened, and I really can't afford that kind of publicity right now. Not at this point in my career. You... you're right. We need to do this the right way." With that, Kenna stepped backwards, sighed, and gestured resignedly toward Suien's PET. "Do what you need to do... but don't think for an instant that I trust you!"

Suien gulped, and nodded his head in response. Moving quickly to his PET, he spread out his array of battlechips and rifled through them, taking note of the unfolding battle data and uttering a silent prayer that the desired video data would not implicate him any further.

-*-

Pah, stupid maintenance crew! growled Argo as his presence was assimilated into the Rassboard once again, I still think we should have crushed his cocky little face in the moment we saw him. Coulda saved ourselves the trouble of fighting this dumb orb.

On the contrary, this is probably for the better, offered Tem, as she supervised the construction of the three new objects Rass had projected onto the field, In terms of punitive penalties, disabling a security system is far preferable to deleting a non-offending navi. I was personally concerned about a NetPolice unlawful deletion investigation if we had been forced to battle that obnoxious repair navi.

"Y...Yeah, I s-see what Tem means," commented Rass. Black bursts of protoplasm shot from his body, filling in the wireframe Rockcube, Rassboard, and Windbox. "It's a l-lot less sympathetic to beat up some weird one-eyed, trigger-happy robot than an *real* navi."

SILENCE, CORE SYSTEM! shouted Ishamel.

A split-second later, the Windbox hummed to life, sending a constant stream of air toward the security robot. Almost simultaneously, Argo triggered the Rassboard's main engines, allowing the rocket surfboard to hover conspicuously alongside the precarious pathway. Finally, the RockCube burst into being, its familiar stony surface contrasting with the high-tech surroundings of the surveillance station. The fusion navi wasted no time leaping onto the floating board and jetting off to the side. Argo, once again in control of ITEM-2, hovered warily around the platform, taking care to keep the objects between Rass and the security system, but being equally wary to not fall into way of their own traps. Rass, meanwhile felt his legs tense instinctively as Tem took control, prepared to leap and take evasive actions should the unexpected occur. The fusion navi, despite his concern over the illegality of the operation, allowed himself the luxury of a small smile.

Strange how the only time we can all get along, he thought, keeping a wary eye on the floating security system, is when we're stressed and in trouble.

-*-

1: Sensor1 (100 HP Sensor, Deals 100 Elec Damage + Stuns, 200 if on Metal). Aim atop metal catwalk toward Automated Security Drone
*Fusionist Physics x2 — Attempt to knock Automated Security Drone onto Metal panels and onto Sensor Beam
2: MarkCannon (70, Seeking, Lock-on) Automated Security Drone, attempt to knock off Alarm System
3: Wind behind Sensor, blowing toward Automated Security Drone (100 HP Windbox, Reduce accuracy of attacks)
4: Masterwork Rassboard (20 + 35 HP object, 1-hit shield, 2 passive tactical moves)
5: RockCube (200 HP Object) between self and Automated Security Drone
*Rassboard Tactical Move: Stay on the opposite side of the obstacles from Automated Security Drone without crossing the sensor's/wind's pathway, use obstacles to absorb fire.
6: Reserved for Dodging,
*Rassboard Tactical Move: Assist Dodge
bump
Rass set up the sensor with no problem, but the moment he tried to knock the drone into the beam, it flew up out of range and rolled over to the other side of the beam. As it settled, it opened fire on Rass, taking the MarkCannon shot in the process but hitting him several times before he managed to set up the Windbox, which absorbed the rest of the shots.

The surprisingly fast drone moved to the side, strafing to clear the fan object and subsequently the Rockcube as Rass went defensive. It opened fire a second time, but only managed to hit the Sensor as Rass went for a similar tactic and stayed on the opposite side.
___

---Enemies---
Automated Security Drone: 430 HP

---Not Enemies---
RASS.EXE: 50 HP (On Rassboard)

---Objects---
Console: 200 HP (Anchored) (Behind RASS)
Sensor: 60 HP (Between security drone and RASS, pointing perpendicular to both)
Windbox: 80 HP (Behind Sensor, blowing toward RASS)
RockCube: 200 HP (Behind Windbox)

Rassboard: 55 HP (Over Metal terrain)

---Terrain---
-Upper Level-
40% Normal (Platform where console is), 20% Metal (Catwalks leading from platform), 40% Missing (Everywhere else)
-Lower Level-
100% Random (Inactive)
-Currently: 100% Normal
Rass winced in pain as he clutched the numerous smoking holes that perforated his chest. The spherical sentry had done a number on the protoplasm's integrity, and the fusion navi found himself leaking dark, viscous fluid as he struggled to keep cover. A quick point scan revealed that his previous MarkCannon attack had done its job, resulting in a 14% drop in integrity. However, as the security drone began to move rapidly across the battlefield, Rass quickly realized that his hit had been a remarkably lucky one. He frowned, crouching upon the Rassboard uneasily as he hovered precariously above the ground and taking deep breaths in an effort to stabilize his adrenal simulators. Shaking his head quickly to clear the static from his ocular units, the small, pink navi balled his hands into fists and tapped into his fusionist core once more. The energy source hummed to life as black coils of lightning played across his body, rejuvenating the protoplasm, sealing up the holes, and encasing his body with a thin, brittle residue. Rass sighed contentedly as his systems rapidly rebooted themselves, and brought himself roughly back to his feet.

Hmm... this looks to be a bit more challenging than previously anticipated, muttered Tem, swirling into Rass' shoulder and looking toward the spherical opponent, Assuming the data you collected is accurate, we're dealing with a high-accuracy opponent capable of a single cycle damage output of... well, greater than our own structural integrity.

"T-Tem, trust me. Based on what I c-can feel, those scans are accurate," replied Rass, rubbing his once-rent chest gingerly, "Don't worry about the v-validity and let's get t-to fighting so we can get this over with."

Tem seemed taken aback, and Rass noticed a distinct pause as she regained her composure. Hmmm? What's that? Are you giving me lip, Rass? asked Tem viciously. Rass quickly shook his head, and Tem seemed to shift her position to Rass' right shoulder with a little more force than necessary. Whatever. We've got more important things to do at the moment. It seems as though we've underestimated the sheer agility of this opponent — the wind doesn't seem to affect its accuracy or mobility at all. Rass, open up communications with Suien. We're going to need a bit of help on this one. Rass nodded quickly in affirmation and brought his hand up to the side of his helmet. A burst of squelching static and a few adjustments later, the fusion navi turned toward the sky and addressed his operator. "S-Suien? We're um... we're engaging the camera security system now, and we n-need some help dealing with it," he said "I'm uploading the results of the s-scanner sweep now so you can see what's going on."

-*-

"Way ahead of you, Rass. I'll be sending you battlechips soon, so just sit tight and continue doing what you're doing," said Suien, flipping through battlechips as he analyzed the battle data he was receiving, "Actually, in the meantime, see what you can do about luring that thing into the sensor line. We know that its evasion and mobility parameters are relatively high, so anything we can do to hinder its movement will work in our favor."

The dark-haired netOp wiped beads of sweat from his brow as he focused all the more intently on the rapidly-shifting data in front of him. Over the past few moments, Suien Matsumoto quickly discovered that despite being more focused now than ever on his netNavi, it was remarkably difficult to concentrate. Maybe it was some residual alcohol in his bloodstream that caused him to be uneasy. Maybe it was the notorious NetVegas pollution, rich with exhaust from the sporty, eco-adverse cars that crowded the streets. Maybe it was the smell of Chuckles' marijuana, which had not yet dispersed from the room and caused a feeling of lightheadedness and a dull ache behind his eyes.

"God... I can't believe I slept with you!" whined Kenna, looking rather defeated and still somewhat in shock, "Do you think maybe I should call him and tell him what happened? Should I just wait and see what happens? No, everything I know says that's a bad idea. I'm going to call him. Right now. I'll tell him it was your fault, and you're going to agree, right? Right?"

"Ma-an, chill. Masters is only tryin' to get to the bottom of this crazy night" said Joey, "It's freakin' NetVegas, honey! No need to worry! This guy's a freakin' BEAST when it comes to netbattlin' and $%&$. And drinking. He kicks #$$ at that too!"

"Will you two cut it out and shut up?! $%&#, I'm just trying to relax here! yelled Chuckles, lighting up another blunt and sitting down by the bathtub.

Or maybe, he thought, wincing, it's the fact that these three people won't leave me alone. Suien frowned as he contemplated the absurdity of the entire situation. Seriously. Between Joey's inability to grasp the gravity of the situation, Chuckles' sheer vulgar antagonism and Kenna's hotne... he hesitated as he stole another glass at the bespectacled redhead and sighed, reminding himself that she was, at least for now, somebody's fiancé, ...hot... hot-headedness, I don't think I can catch a break at all if I let myself get distracted. I can't be thinking about all that. Quick, just look for battlechips, Suien, find the battlechips. Suien's frown deepened as his battlechip folder revealed that he was lacking in high-accuracy battlechips. True, he had access to a number of gun chips, but with Argo flying the ITEM-2 and Tem controlling mobility, Ishamel would have a difficult time simultaneously working the 3L3M system and running aiming protocols. Worse still was the fact that few of his chips had the ability to stop the security system's movement protocols, which would become highly problematic were the Rassboard to take a hit it couldn't deal with. We need to find some way to mess up that security drone's mobility... but what? he thought, tapping the folder with a single thin finger, I suppose we could always try to manipulate the battlefield, but that's not going to do anything unless we're able to lure that thing down to the bottom of the arena... and we're not going to be able to do that unless Rass moves himself down there, bringing him out of reach of the console. It's impossible - no navi can be in two places at once.

...wait a minute.


Suien's eyes lit up with realization as he entered several commands into his PET. Sliding a pair of battlechips into the chiptray, he brought his head close to the microphone, ignoring the curious looks of his three cohorts. "Rass, I think I've figured it out," he said, "Tem, your objective is to reach that console and see if you can use it to mess with the terrain down below. Rass, you're going to be in charge of drawing its fire. I know you won't be in full control of your actions, but focus on that thought." As the second battlechip uploaded through cyberspace, Suien crossed his arms and allowed himself a smirk. "Here's something you can't do," he said to the security system, "let's see how you handle something like this!"

-*-

Rass, meanwhile, had been focused intently on the task at hand. Argo sent the Rassboard ducking and weaving, attempting to keep Rass' protoplasmic form on the opposite edge of the catwalk from the automated security system. Though the melee subsystem was an adept pilot, however, he didn't seem to be the most careful. The board jostled and bucked as Argo tore around the catwalk, weaving as he went and dipping far below the sensor line. Despite his position, Rass ducked instinctively as he slid low to the ground. SUBSYSTEM ARGO! IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU TAKE ADDITIONAL PRECAUTIONS WHEN OPERATING AS A TRANSPORT! STANDARD OPERATING PROTOCOL SUGGESTS THAT CROSSING THE SENSOR BEAM COULD RESULT IN ELECTROCUTION AND/OR DEATH. shouted Ishamel shifting his presence to Rass' chest and glaring downward, RECKLESS OPERATION OF THE AERIAL TRANSPORTATION UNIT DESIGNATION: ITEM-2 MAY ALSO RESULT IN SUDDEN FALLS, FRACTURED PROTOPLASM, AND...

Just concentrate on your shooting and mind your own damn business, Ishy! retorted Argo, whirling around ITEM-2 as to face the fusion navi toward his spherical pursuer, If you want to help, start by helping Rasshole control those arms of his! He ain't gonna be able to hit that thing on his own power!

Rass thought that he had demonstrated decent marksmanship skills in the past, but was nevertheless grateful when Ishamel surged into his arms and stabilized his aim. Rass could feel his muscles relax as Ishamel's eye materialized on his chest and slowly took control of the operation. The targeting system's optical sensor seemed to zoom as it zeroed in on the security sphere, and Rass felt the familiar sensation of compressed air filling up his protoplasm and inflating his forearms to an almost comically large size. With a pair of powerful pops, Rass let loose both blasts of air, designed such that if one missed, the sphere's dodge would carry it into the second burst. The recoil sent the fusion navi sailing backwards, but Argo's deft adjustment corrected for the maneuver. With that, the Rassboard was brought up alongside the monolithic rockcube as the fusion navi leaped off and crossed his arms in front of his face.

W...Wait a minute! What are you... shouted Tem, as Rass uncrossed his arms and emitted a burst of blinding light from his body, You can't be serious! You aren't going to use t...

"T..T...Tem? KitTem? KitTem?! KitTem?!!! KITTEM!!!!!" yowled Tem, trapped once more in her cutesy white feline form. Rass... or rather, Sass, now clad in his pink shirt and black pants and looking all the world like a normal human youth, pumped his fist enthusiastically into the air. "All right! It looks like it's time for another Battle Monsters Duel! I know I'm gonna win this one!" he shouted, hopefully loud enough to attract the attention of the security robot, "I know my battle monster team will protect me as we continue our neverending quest to bring peace and love to all battle monsters! KitTem! I choose you!"

What's that idiot think he's doing?! He needs to attract attention away from me! thought Tem, He needs to start painting himself as the greater threat! Why isn't he saying what he needs to say?! Immediately, KitTem began yowling an impossibly cute set of babble toward Sass, who continued to smile and pose. Damn! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID cross form!

As Sass heard KitTem's outburst, something triggered in the back of his mind. Something about being a distraction? That would be silly! I'm a Battle Monster Tamer! Tamers don't get hit in battle... tamers let their Battle Monsters fight! he thought. Despite his justifications, Sass' smile dropped a bit as the thought kept nagging at him. But... But still, maybe being a true Battle Monsters Champion means being as strong as my Battle Monsters? Maybe... maybe I need to show KitTem that I'm the very best, like no one ever was! It's her and me because... because I know it's our destiny! She's my best friend in a world we must defend! Yes! With another enthusiastic whoop, Sass leaped off the catwalk and shouted at the spherical opponent. "Hey robo-face!" he shouted, pointing his finger toward the security system, "If you've got a problem, you oughta come and fight me man to man! You'll never become Battle Monsters Champion if you don't have the heart of a leader!"

Tem was slightly put off by Sass' friendship speech, but the tactical subsystem was never one to question good fortune. Entering a crouched pose, she began charging a cocktail of volatile energies within her body. Her blue stripes appeared to gleam as more and more power began welling up throughout her lithe form. Feh, looks like we found a use for Seraphim's battle data after all, she thought, noticing with some interest that the blast seemed somewhat stronger and more streamlined than usual. KitTem's eyes blazed bright blue as she opened her mouth, directing a highly accurate white burst of light toward the automated security system. Without skipping a beat, Tem shifted her position and suddenly began coughing. A hairball? No... it's that idiotic chip data delivery... before Tem could finish her thought, her white, feline body discharged an orb of yellow energy, designed to seek out the automated system and home in on its ever-changing position. As though on cue, Sass continued to desperately wave his arms around, aiming to distract the drone and keep its attention. "Great job, KitTem! Don't worry! Unless that thing attacks me directly, I can just summon EVEN STRONGER Battle Monsters! We can't lose!" shouted Sass, "I know we'll become the greatest Tamers in history!"

KitTem's momentary satisfaction was suddenly cut short as Argo, in control of ITEM-2, swooped up alongside the RockCube and turned to face her. Hyahahah.... wait, Tem?! Is that you?! Oh wow, Rasshole should cross into this form more often - you look better that way! sniggered Argo as he picked up the feline fighter and quickly flew her toward the Console. Taking note of KitTem's furious glare, Argo hovered near the white-and-blue Battle Monster as he continued to jeer. Awww, is the little kitty cat frustrated? Don't cry, little kitten, I'm sure us big strong men can take care of this situation.

KitTem refused to dignify that with a response. Leaping onto the control panels, she looked, with some mild frustration, at the array of buttons arrayed in front of her. What the heck am I supposed to do with these?! Just because I'm the tactical subsystem doesn't mean I know how to operate things like this. she thought, mewing quietly in frustration as her eyes darted from panel to panel, Hmph, I suppose that as long as I'm here, however, I should try to make an effort at this. Let's see... terrain control... terrain control... terrain...

(Rassboard has a 1-hit barrier. I'm assuming it was hit in the last attack, but where?)

1: Masterwork Fusion Restorer 45 HP heal, 20+35 HP casing.
*Rassboard — Continue circling, focused on avoiding the wind and the sensor line
*Fusionist Physics: Attempt to knock drone into sensor line
*Fusionist Physics: Attempt to knock drone into sensor line
2: S.A.S.S. (SeraphCross) — Normal/Cursor, +10 normal chip damage,
3: Battle Monster: KitTem (Decoy on Lower level, KitTem on RockCube. Attempt to lure Automated Security Drone to the ground floor)
4: HiCannon (80+10 Damage Knockback into ground floor, Marksmanship Bonus = A+ Accuracy)
5: *Snipe Thunder1 (40 damage, Elec, Stun, Homing, Seeking)
*Rassboard — Move KitTem from RockCube to Console
6: Manipulate Console, attempt to manipulate the floor into Magnet (ideally)/Sea/Lava/some hazardous panels while decoy and Automated Security Drone are on the floor.
bump
((Glancing blow from the second attack before the sensor absorbed the rest. Sorry, forgot to mention it. Also I'm assuming KitTem is the navi here and Sass is the decoy, correct me if I'm wrong.))

As Rass healed and armored himself, he continued circling while trying to knock the security drone into the sensor. One burst knocked it closer, but the second missed as the drone elevated itself above the beam and all the objects for that matter. Apparently it was tired of circling, or perhaps it had only just figured out how to fly up. Either way, this likely didn't mean good things for Rass, or rather, Sass.

Sass then summoned Tem in the form of a kitten, or rather KitTem, prompting the mechanical eye of the drone to dim, narrow, and angle toward the ground, as though saying 'why do I get stuck with the weirdos?' Yelling at the drone, Sass leaped off the platform, prompting the drone to follow it to the edge, firing. The shots missed, however, leaving the drone to sink toward the ground. Before it left the upper level, KitTem fired off two blasts at it. While the first hit, the second made it to the edge of the platform by about the time the drone reached the ground level.

Back up above, the Rassboard carried KitTem to the control panels, where she stared at them and eventually found a grid projection on the left side, complete with small icons indicating the position of Sass and the drone. On the opposite side, several unlabeled buttons of suspiciously varied colors: one each of red, blue, light blue, yellow, green, silver, black, white, and purple, lined the edge of the console, as well as a dull gray button with a questionmark printed on it on the near side. Most of them were dimmed, but the red one was lit up. The battle monster tried to walk across, but the moment her paw touched the grid, the squares underneath lit up the same red color as the button.

Down below, several panels next to the wall turned to lava, far away from Sass and the drone. The drone, unmoved and obviously not acknowledging the rules of the game, fired on Sass.
___

---Enemies---
Automated Security Drone: 340 HP (On lower level) (Thunder homing on location)

---Not Enemies---
SASS.EXE: 95 HP (55HP Casing) (On Console) (Decoy destroyed)

---Objects---
Console: 200 HP (Anchored) (Behind RASS)
Sensor: 60 HP (Between security drone and RASS, pointing perpendicular to both)
Windbox: 80 HP (Behind Sensor, blowing toward RASS)
RockCube: 200 HP (Behind Windbox)

Rassboard: 55 HP (Over Normal terrain) (Next to console)

---Terrain---
-Upper Level-
40% Normal (Platform where console is), 20% Metal (Catwalks leading from platform), 40% Missing (Everywhere else)
-Lower Level-
100% Random (Controlled by KitTem)
-Currently: 90% Normal, 10% Lava (Small cluster in corner of battlefield, next to the wall)
Sass gasped sharply as his pink-shirted body was perforated by the drone's relentless assault. Despite the fact that he was little more than a personality matrix in a remote shell, the would-be Battle Monsters Tamer nevertheless stumbled to his knees, wincing in pain. As dark fluid leaked through his shirt, Sass nevertheless managed to produce a second protoplasmic orb into his hand, this one radiating a faint crimson glow. Shooting a defiant grin toward the Automated Security Drone, Sass gripped the dark sphere tightly in his hand as he extended the other toward the catwalk above...

KitTem, meanwhile, purred contentedly as she instantly noticed the connection between the colorful control panel and the area below. Aha, it seems that this device has a pretty user-friendly interface. Different colors obviously correspond with different terrain types, with a handy touchscreen functionality as well. I suppose it doesn't come as a surprise if that uneducated hick of a technician could utilize this so effectively. she mused, hopping up to the control panel and grinning maliciously, Finally, some element of control in this idiotic form! It's good to know that fate has finally dealt me a dominant hand — one worthy of my talents and abilities! Time to finish this in a single potent maneuver and complete this absurd objective in one fell swoop. Now, let's see how that drone likes some magnet...

"ISH...A...MECH?!" came a roar behind her, causing her snow white fur to stand up on end. KitTem whirled around with a start and found herself face-to-face with a bipedal, mechanical beast, standing at least six times her own height. The creature's body was lined with silver, metallic armor, with several crimson wires visible between the plates. Its mechanical head resembled a cybernetic dinosaur skull, with a single glowing yellow orb centered in the right eye socket. Intimidation factor aside, "Ishamech" was certainly not lacking in the armaments department either. A trio of long, dangerous-looking claws jutted out from each hand, and a pair of high-caliber cannons, presumably powered by a set of red coils leading from its chest, were mounted on its back. The beast's cognitive servos hummed loudly, overclocking themselves as it confusedly looked around, clearly confused by its present situation.

What the?! Seriously?! Even Ishamel's cross form looks like that?! What possible rationale is there for this sort of travesty of justice?! This is clearly some sort of... of... of chauvinistic, masculine-dominated design!, thought KitTem, erupting in a furious burst of, "KitTem! Tem, tem, tem, KitTem, KitTEM!" The oddly humorous scene - with the cute catlike creature yowling at a very confused mechanical monstrosity - was cut short by Sass' timely interruption.

"KitTem, return! Great job!" cried Sass, firing a bolt of dark lightning from the palm of his hand that arced upward toward the blue-and-white feline. "Ishamech is a fully-evolved Battle Monster just like Argoyle, and due to his designation as a Beast Mecha Battle Monster, should be well-suited for defeating this opponent! You're far too weak to take a hit from this opponent!"

W...WHAT?! We've all got the same structural integrity rating, you Idiot! thought Tem, as her lithe form was engulfed in a brilliant blue light and rapidly transported back toward S.A.S.S. And stop saying that I'm weak, you monumental failure of a netNavi!

-*-

"That's hella lame, yo" said Joey, watching Suien operate the transformed Rass, "So... what, you designed your navi like a video game character? You're into that Battle Monsters stuff?" The large Netopian shook his head and crossed his arms. "Man, my 8-year old niece loves that stuff. What the heck are you doin' playing with that sort of..."

"Joey, please, I'm trying to concentrate here," interrupted Suien, scratching his chin as new battle data flowed through the bottom screen of his PET. A long stream of blue text streamed across the screen as Tem reintegrated herself into the main system and, in an angry, roundabout fashion, explained to him the situation. "...and there you have it! It's a simple matter of selecting the — what I am assuming to be — color-coded terrain and designating where you want it to go on the battlefield. Honestly, that idiotic video-game freak of a system administrator can't seem to comprehend that I am completely and totally suited for such an elementary task." she said, her alto voice filling the cramped bathroom through Suien's PET's speakers, "A subsystem of my tactical aptitude is particularly well suited for handling terrain like this — much more so than Ishamel, anyways. Seriously, I should be the one who takes care of this. I have a... a responsibility to take care of this!"

Suien sighed, entering a series of rapid-fire commands into the PET and casting a weary glance toward Joey before turning to the tactical subsystem. "Tem, don't worry about it. Ishamel is capable of handling the strategy, and I've just shipped him the battle routine. From what I can tell, this is a relatively simple interface that shouldn't pose us any problems. In the meantime, I'm going to try to end this as quickly as possible so we can get back to investigating that camera data," he said, hesitating for a moment as he looked through his battlechip folder and made his selections, "I know we initially believed magnet panels would be the most effective option due to their mobility-limiting abilities, but in the interest of ensuring maximum damage output, I sent the order to generate steel panels instead. We seem to have an abundance of electric-element battlechips, so I figured this would be the best way to take advantage of that fact."

Suien paused, expecting Tem to launch into some tirade about the tactical superiority of her chosen approach. Frankly, he would have preferred the tirade because the lapse in conversation was quickly degenerating into an uncomfortable pause. When the lecture didn't come, however, the dark-haired netOp shrugged and began slotting in the battlechips one after the other. As the goldenrod ElecSword chip slid into the PET receptacle with a sharp click, however, Tem spoke.

I... I understand and respect your decision, notwithstanding the fact that I fail to see its tactical value. she said awkwardly, her voice carrying an inordinate amount of strain, Yes. I trust in your judgment fully. I ah... I also am... apologetic for the manner in which I conducted myself earlier. Had the tactical system possessed an actual face and eyes, Suien could swear they would have been uncomfortably shifting away from his own. He was about to respond when Tem interrupted again, That is to say, I am... I'm sorry. We're not better off rogue. You do possess some... tactical value to our continued existence, and I would er... hate to lose such a noteworthy asset.

Suien blinked in confusion before giving a slight chuckle and shaking his head. "I guess I'll take that as a compliment," he said, "and your apology is appreciated, but ultimately unnecessary, Tem. Your independent attitude suggests that I should be more focused on making sure you're able to prosper in that capacity. I'll look into fixing that up for you." The netOp nodded, and adjusted his glasses with a self-satisfied smirk, "In any case, let's take this thing down.

"Heh, well ain't that sweet. I'm tellin' ya. %$&%ing Electown holobars. You two will have a great %$#&ing time... well, %$#&ing." smirked Chuckles. Suien winced at the vulgar clown's comment, and quickly changed the subject before Tem could reply. "Ah er... where did Kenna get off to?" he asked, glancing around the cramped bathroom, "I thought she wanted to be here when we retrieved the information."

Joey nodded his head toward the door. "She said she had to talk to her fiancé, right? That's probably what she's doin'. Man, I don't envy bein' in her position, yo. No offense to you, Masters, but messin' up your relationship with your fiancé... that's pretty crazy."

"%&$#, Joey. You're forgettin' where we are. This is NetVegas, baby! The crazy is &%$&ing everywhere here."

-*-

Meanwhile, Ishamel — or rather, Ishamech, was busy contemplating his newfound Battle Monster visage. THIS MECHANICAL FORM APPEARS TO BE SUBSTANTIALLY LESS EFFICIENT THAN MY OPTIMAL CONFIGURATION. PERHAPS THE CORE SYSTEM HAS FAILED TO CONSIDER THIS IN HIS CALCULATIONS? thought Ishamech, looking down at his steel claws with an arrogant disdain, RECEIVING BATTLE ROUTINES. PROCESSING... COMPLETE! AFFIRMATIVE, OPERATOR UNIT SUIEN MATSUMOTO! PREPARING TO INITIALIZE THE CONSOLE AND INCREASE TACTICAL DAMAGE SATURATION TO MAXIMUM LEVELS! Ishamech roared before bringing an ironclad palm across the control panel, selecting the gray and saturating the virtual battlefield with gray. The mechanical battle monster stepped back to admire his handiwork, and peered over the edge of the console at the security drone far below. From where he stood, he could hear Sass shouting several commands at him. "Ishamech, go! The terrain features should allow you to gain a Steel Terrain Attack Bonus (S.T.A.B.) to your strongest attacks! Start by moving into position with your Hyperspeed Drive, then attack with Double Voltage Barrage!"

ERROR! CORE SYSTEM APPEARS TO BE MALFUNCTIONING! TECHNIQUES LISTED DO NOT CORRESPOND WITH ACTUAL KNOWN COMBAT ROUTINES! DEVELOPING ALTERNATIVE BATTLE ROUTINE USING UPLOADED BATTLECHIPS AS PARAMETERS... PROCESSING... AREAGRAB AND ELECREEL INITIALIZED! having independently arrived at the same conclusion tactical conclusion as Sass, Ishamech roared as his body disintegrated in a burst of bright white data. Appearing in front of the Security Drone with a powerful crack, he quickly realized the fatal flaw of his maneuver. The automated security drone was a floating opponent, hovering above the ground with a series of propulsion mechanisms. "ISH... A.... MECH!" he cursed, his body already charging the high voltage assault into his shoulder-mounted cannons, EXPLICITIVE: #$%&! THE PRESENT CONFIGURATION WILL BE INSUFFICIENT TO ADEQUATELY COUNTERACT THIS OPPONENT! ADDITIONAL CALCULATIONS MUST BE MADE TO ENSURE SUCCESS OF THE OPERATION! STANDING BY FOR...

*WHOOOSH*

As though on cue, ITEM-2 came swooping down from the catwalk, careening toward the mobile drone at breakneck speeds. The rocket surfboard banked as it neared the drone, attempting to slam it into KitTem's previously-launched projectile. Argo's eyes, clearly visible on the edge of the jet-powered object, seemed to narrow as he swooped upwards in preparation for his next maneuver. I've got your back, Ishy! shouted the melee subsystem, Hurry up and finish this stupid thing off! With that, Argo took the Rassboard into a sickening dive straight down toward the ground, attempting to pin the drone into the network and render it helpless to evade Ishamech's next attack and subjecting it to the conductive properties of — what all four hoped — were steel panels.

SUCCESS PARAMETERS ADEQUATE. COMMENCING FIRST BARRAGE! thought Ishamech, roaring in acknowledgement and slamming his claws onto the network. Instantly, the twin cannons on his back began to glow with a brilliant yellow light, as several servos on his back whirred to life. The crimson wires seemed to radiate heat and steam as the electric-element onslaught coalesced into Ishamech's back. With a final peal of "MEEEEEECH!" the high-voltage stream erupted in a luminous display, sending a shower of sparks as the twin bolts surged and spread across the NetVegas network. The powerful burst of electricity left an acrid scent of ozone and a bright afterimage on the navi's ocular sensors, but Ishamech didn't skip a beat. Without even pausing to confirm his strike, Ishamech began charging his claws with even more electric energy, light blue coils playing between the razor sharp appendages. Tearing forward, he lowered one shoulder, discharging a burst of compressed air in hopes of blasting the drone onto the network once more. He quickly followed up by raising his clawed arm high and bringing it downward in a crushing blow, scattering another burst of sparks and discharging a blast of electricity into the network.

Sass, for his part, continued to cheer, his silvery hair waving in the wake of Ishamech's assault. "Excellent job, Ishamech! You're combining a wind-element attack with a lightning-element attack! If you can master the dual-element style of fighting, we might be able to unlock an even more powerful Battle Monster! Keep it up!"

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR MEANING, CORE SYSTEM! thought Ishamech, discharging a second burst of air and following it up with a second horizontal slash from his charged claws, FURTHERMORE, SUCH ONE-DIMENSIONAL RELIANCE UPON MELEE-CLASS BATTLECHIPS IS INEFFICIENT FOR OUR PRESENT CONFIGURATION! ASSERTION: DO NOT SUBJECT ME TO THE INDIGNITY OF SWORDSMANSHIP! SUPPORT SYSTEM ISHAMEL DOES NOT APPROVE!

-*-

1: Battle Monster: Ishamech (Decoy, continue to keep drone down on the ground)
2: Create line of gray panels, 5 panels wide, along where the security drone is
3: Areagrab in near Automated Security Drone, opposite of Thunder attack
*Rassboard: Tactical Move — knockdown Automated Security Drone into the Thunder (40 Damage, Elec, Stun, 80 if on steel)
*Rassboard: Tactical Move — knockdown Automated Security Drone/block attempts at escape
4: ElecReel1 (80, Elec, Widespread 160 if on steel)
*Fusionist Physics: Knockback into the ground (steel panels).
5: ElecSword (80, Elec, Wide 160 if on steel)
*Fusionist Physics: Knockback into the ground.
6: ElecSword (80, Elec, Wide 160 if on steel)
Bump
To take Kittem's place, Sass summoned the mecha-beast Ishamech, much to all but Sass's discontent. Nonetheless, the mechanical monstrosity created a line of steel panels and warped down to the bottom floor to face off against its opponent.

Completely ignoring Sass, the security drone let out a shrill, whistling alarm at the appearance of Ishamech and swiveled to fire on it, badly damaging its armor and scoring a hit on the Rassboard as it came flying down...and ran into it.

Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to pin the drone, as it rolled through the air out from under the board and released another barrage of shots at the mech and board combo. Though it was enough to destroy Ishamech's casing, the Rassboard was spared further abuse as the drone's attack was cut short by the first of several melee attacks, interrupted by compressed air blasts that knocked the drone into the ground between attacks. Dodging away from the Rassboard however had carried it away from the metal panels, and thus knocking the drone into the ground did little more than annoy it...if such a machine could be annoyed in the first place.

Before the third strike, the drone dragged itself across the ground just enough to avoid the attack, and floated back into the air.

Right into the still-homing Thunder attack.

Electricity arced between the guns of the drone as its movement systems locked up, leaving it floating in place.
___

---Enemies---
Automated Security Drone: 140 HP (On lower level) (Stun!)

---Not Enemies---
SASS.EXE: 95 HP (Casing Destroyed) (On Metal) (Decoy on Normal)

---Objects---
Console: 200 HP (Anchored) (Behind RASS)
Sensor: 60 HP (Between security drone and RASS, pointing perpendicular to both)
Windbox: 80 HP (Behind Sensor, blowing toward RASS)
RockCube: 200 HP (Behind Windbox)

Rassboard: 45 HP (Over Normal terrain) (On Metal)

---Terrain---
-Upper Level-
40% Normal (Platform where console is), 20% Metal (Catwalks leading from platform), 40% Missing (Everywhere else)
-Lower Level-
100% Random (Active but uncontrolled.)
-Currently: 85% Normal, 10% Lava (Small cluster in corner of battlefield, next to the wall) , 5% Metal (Strip of panels next to Security Drone, under Ishamech)
ISHAMECH?! ISSHHHHHAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEECH! roared Ishamech, as he ill-temperedly pointed a clawed finger toward ITEM-2, SUPPORT SYSTEM ARGO, THE TACTICS I SELECTED WERE CHOSEN IN RELIANCE ON SOME SEMBLANCE OF SUCCESS IN YOUR MANEUVER! YOUR FAILURE TO CARRY OUT THE DESIGNATED MANEUVER HAS PREVENTED THIS CALCULATED ASSAULT FROM COMPLETEING THE TASK AT HAND! SUPPORT SYSTEM ISHAMEL REQUESTS THAT SUPPORT SYSTEM ARGO QUOTE POP CULTURE REFERENCE: STOP SUCKING ENDQUOTE!

I don't know what you're yapping about, one-eye, but I don't much like your tone! retorted Argo, defiantly spinning the Rassboard to face the mechanical beast, It's not MY fault that you can't use a sword to save your life. Come back after you've developed some melee subroutines and maybe then, you'll be in a position to criticize me. Otherwise, stop your whining and get to fighting!

Ishamech roared again at Argo's snappish comment, stomping the steel panels below as he took a powerful step toward the offending object. SUPPORT SYSTEM ISHAMEL WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR INSULTS! YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF SUPPORT SYSTEM ISHAMEL'S LACK OF MELEE EXPERTISE SHOULD HAVE CAUSED YOU TO TAKE ADDITIONAL PRECAUTIONS AGAINST FAILURE!

As the two subsystems continued to bicker, Sass brought his hand to his chin, contemplating the situation. The silver-haired tamer frowned as he watched the argument unfold in front of him. "Hmmm... it seems like Ishamech and Argoyle aren't getting along. It might be because of their low intelligence rating. Perhaps I've made a poor selection in terms of which Battle Monster to send out?" he said, catching the attention of Argo and Ishamel. Instantly, the two subsystems stopped arguing and turned to face him, their collective three eyes glaring irritatedly at him.

"ISH A MECH! MECH! MECH! MECH!" shouted Ishamech, THE CORE SYSTEM IS MISTAKEN! INITIAL CALCULATIONS REVEAL THAT SUPPORT SYSTEM ISHAMEL POSSESSES SEVERAL TIMES THE PROCESSING CAPACITIES OF OTHER CORE SYSTEMS! MOREOVER, SUPPORT SYSTEM ISHAMEL POSSESSES SO MUCH INTELLIGENCE SUCH THAT HE MUST DEPOWER HIS INTELLIGENCE CAPACITORS TO ADEQUATELY PROVIDE THE REQUISITE AMOUNT OF BLUNTNESS TO COMMUNICATE HIS DISATISFACTION! INTELLIGENCE CAPACITOR DEACTIVATION COMPLETE: YOU ARE DUMB!

Yeah, what he said! Or at least, what I think he said! added Argo, I ain't that smart, but I sure as hell am smarter than you, you pinky, namby-pamby blob of failure!

-*-

"Hmm... we've still got a number of options available to us, but we need to conserve our resources just in case that thing's got another trick up its sleeve... or it's hatch... whatever," muttered Suien, tracing the data that streamed down his PET screen with his thin finger, "I suppose we could always just use one of our sword chips, but we haven't been able to get the accuracy we need to hit this thing."

Suien, I believe I have the capabilities to handle this situation, said Tem, The airshot battlechip possesses the capability to deal sufficient damage to the drone based on current scans of its structural integrity. As the tactical subsystem, I believe we can finish this battle with a minimum of effort. If you would... ah... allow me to take the command in this scenario, I can assure you that you will not have any regrets.

Suien shrugged, still surprised at the amount of deference he was receiving from the normally-antagonistic tactical system. Ignoring Chuckles' sniggering behind him, Suien removed the silvery airshot battlechip from his folder and twirled it idly between his fingers. "Not that I don't believe you're capable of working this out on your own, but you should work with Argo on this maneuver," he said, gingerly sliding the battlechip into the PET and downloading the data into the network, "He's not the most tactically sound subsystem, but he's capable of handing the Rassboard at acceptable levels. Heads up, I think Sass is getting ready to call you out."
Tem made a small sound of affirmation as Sass' voice erupted through the PET microphone.

-*-

"Yes, a Battle Monster of superior intellect is required to defeat this opponent! Clearly this opponent's high evade and defense ratings, super-accurate magical attacks seem to be the best way to defeat it! Return, Ishamech!" shouted Rass, extending his arm and pointing it toward Ishamech, "You've done a fantastic job weakening the enemy!"

Ishamech growled, shooting a spiteful glare at ITEM-2 before transforming into a small black orb of protoplasm. The once-monstrous subsystem bounced back into the palm of Sass' hand, and the silver-haired tamer wasted no time tossing out yet another protoplasmic orb. "The enemy's weak! Go KitTem! Finish the battle and grab some experience points!"

Hmph. I'll excuse your incompetence this time, Rass. Just give me the requisite chip data and let's get this over with. thought KitTem, bursting into being in a flash of azure light and steeling her small, feline body in preparation for her next attack, This battle has gone on long enough. Time to finish off this annoying bucket of bolts! She stole a glance toward the Rassboard, making eye contact with Argo and motioning with her head toward the catwalk. The rocket surfboard tilted upward momentarily, as though following KitTem's cue before bolting upward into the air, leaving a trail of exhaust in its wake.

With that, KitTem was off, becoming a streak of white and blue as she bolted off toward the Automated Security Drone. Her padded feet tread delicately on the steel panels as she quickly closed the distance between herself and the orbial opponent. At the last possible instant, she gave a quick deke to the right before diving down to the left and rolling up on her belly. Her crystal blue eyes narrowed as she slid by the immobilized drone, lining up her shot with the yellow object on the catwalk above. You had this coming for a long time, droid! Nice to know that Sensor battlechip is good for something!

"That's it, KitTem! Tornado Breath attack!"

"KiiiiiiiiTEM!" mewled the feline Battle Monster, opening her mouth and sending a blast of air sailing toward the orblike opponent. The twisting, scything winds blasted forth, the recoil sending the small feline bouncing off of the ground and sailing backwards across the network. The Battle Monster scrambled as she fell, digging her claws into the steel network to halt her motion and stabilize herself. High above, Argo had piloted the Rassboard into position, hovering above the sensor line and preparing to slam the drone back into the beam should the airshot miss its mark.

Paying attention to the workings of the battle, KitTem barely noticed as her tail detached itself from her body, reforming into a blob of protoplasm as it struck the floor. Instantly, the tail began to grow and grow, forming one of the mechanical sword-wielding soldiers that had cleared the area a short while ago. With the screeching sound of twisting metal, the shadowy figure roared to life...

-*-Turn Splice-*-
1: Battle Monster: KitTem (Decoy)
2: Tactical Move/Take Aim
3: Airshot (20+10 Damage, Microburst, Marksmanship Bonus = A+ Accuracy) Automated Security Drone into Sensor1's path (100 Damage, Elec, Stun)
*Rassboard — Correct angle of Airshot if necessary by batting Automated Security Drone
4: MachineSword ((60+10) x 2 Damage, Wide, hits stunned enemies)
-*- Turn Splice -*-
bump
After a bout of arguing between Ishamech and the Rassboard, which devolved into more bashing of Rass...er, Sass, KitTem was again switched in to deal with the drone. And deal with it she did with a blast of air to the...eye.

The stun effect wore off as the drone was sent flying back to the upper level. It opened fire on the kitten monster below, successfully scoring a few minor hits before leveling itself right in the tracer beam of the Sensor. A significantly more real and damaging beam fired from the eye, badly damaging and stunning the drone.

Before it could recover, it was hit by a recently summoned DarkMech virus, which deleted it and then vanished.

...

SASS defeated SECURITYDRONE!
___

---Enemies---
Automated Security Drone: faintedDELETED

---Not Enemies---
SASS.EXE: 80 HP (Casing Destroyed) (On Metal) (Decoy on Normal)

---Objects---
Console: 200 HP (Anchored) (Behind RASS)
Sensor: Discharged
Windbox: Faded
RockCube: Faded

Rassboard: 45 HP (Over Normal terrain) (On Metal)

---Terrain---
-Upper Level-
40% Normal (Platform where console is), 20% Metal (Catwalks leading from platform), 40% Missing (Everywhere else)
-Lower Level-
100% Random (Active but uncontrolled.)
-Currently: 85% Normal, 10% Lava (Small cluster in corner of battlefield, next to the wall) , 5% Metal (Strip of panels next to Security Drone, under Ishamech)

SASS GOT 1500z, Vulcan2 FOR WINNING!
"Well, here's some good news for the three of you... especially you" said Kenna, pointing to Suien as she entered the bathroom, "My fiancé now thinks that I'm still on my trip to Yumland, and will be flying in this evening. Looks"

Suien breathed a sigh of relief — apparently he wasn't going to get stunned and arrested today. Smiling slightly as he gestured to the PET screen and was about to explain that he had managed to procure the necessary video data. As it turns out, there was no explanation necessary.

"W...What?! Well what are you waiting for?! Let's see what happened!" shouted Kenna, bumping into a surprised Suien and leaning in close to see the PET screen. The dark-haired netOp quickly regained his composure and entered in a few commands into his PET. "I'll have my navi directly feed us the video link that he discovers, but this seems to be taking a lot longer than it should," he said, biting his lower lip, "I hope everything's okay in there... ah, here it goes!"

-*-

Several minutes later

-*-

"I... I think I'm going to be sick," said Kenna, wearing a disgusted look on her bespectacled face, "Ugh, geez, I can't believe you did THAT! You're an awful human being! I'm pretty sure that kind of stuff is against the law in some countries."

"Me?! Look at what YOU were doing! It's pretty clear that you're enjoying it! From what any reasonable viewer can tell, you *asked* me to do it," replied an incredulous Suien, "and for the record, that isn't mine. I have no idea where that came from."

"Man, I don't know how you guys can say anything about this sorta thing, besides it being consentual," said Joey, frowning as he squinted at the screen, "If it weren't for that one part where you're facin' the camera, I wouldn't be able to figure out genders at all... well aside from that one part where she was doin' the Electopian Shuffle. That was *definitely* a girl cause no guy could bend that far."

"I am so screwed. My career is over!" whined Kenna, "If anyone finds out that I was doing *that* with some stranger, I'll be the laughingstock of the entire firm!"

"Forget my social contacts, I don't know if I am okay with me! What does this mean though? I mean... I don't think I can live with myself after seeing *that*"

"What the $%@# have I been telling you this entire $#%&ing time?" smirked Chuckles, causing both heads to turn around slowly, "You know what I'm gonna say, but apparently this is the only %$#@ing way to get it through to you two. Remember: what happens in NetVegas..." the clown made an overemphasized gesture, as though prompting a group of children to answer some elementary question.

Kenna and Suien looked at each other.

-*-

"I... I think I'm going to be sick," said Rass, "I really really did not need to s-see that."

As the final bits of video data uploaded through Rass' body into Suien's PET, the fusion navi sighed, and looked around the network. Since the end of the battle, Rass had wasted no time going to work on the security console, evidenced by the several packets of data strewn carelessly about across the front panel. In reality, it wasn't very difficult to find the video data from the previous night, but Tem's plan had substantially complicated the process. Even now, Rass' hand glowed suspiciously blue as he clutched the piece of video data that he had just uploaded.

Hmph, if you're going to be so weak about it, you shouldn't have looked, though I thought I was able to scramble the data sufficiently said Tem, retreating from Rass' hand onto his shoulder, Honestly, with the amount of distortion I funneled into the playback, I'm surprised you're able to see anything to be sick about. Frankly, I find it almost pitiful that those four out there were fooled by such a rudimentary edit... though I suppose the stress of the situation isn't helping their critical evaluation skills much.

"This still d-doesn't feel right, Tem," said Rass nervously, scrutinizing the video data packet before placing it on the console. As he did so, the fusion navi opened his other palm, producing an identical data packet in a quick burst of light. He paused momentarily, looking at the softly-glowing video data with a pensive countenance, "I mean, shouldn't we j-just show Suien the real video d-data? Why g-go through all the t-trouble of sending him a fake video?"

There are two fantastic reasons for this that will become evident if you apply a bit of basic thought. First, you know as well as I do that this video is distinctly non-dispositive as to Suien's level of culpability with regard to that redheaded trollop. In fact, it only posits additional questions that, quite frankly, I don't believe he needs to be burdened with at the moment. This other video is much more... explicit. In so many more ways than one. Tem chuckled at her own play on words before continuing, Second, given the rather... risqué nature of what you and Suien just observed, it may provide him a sufficient incentive to change his ways in an effort to avoid experiencing something like this again. In short, Suien dodges the difficult questions and learns an important lesson in a single fell swoop. It's a flawless plan.

Rass frowned. "W-Well if that's the case, why d-don't we just destroy this data instead of keeping it with us?" he asked, "that seems to be just as good. Why b-bother keeping something like this when it c-can be just as incriminating if s-someone were to f-find it?"

Tem retreated into her gemstone as she responded. Rass, do you know why you'll never be a tactical genius like me? she asked, That's rhetorical — you don't have to answer. It's because you don't see the big picture. You don't see the opportunities as they present themselves. You don't see the options and strategies available to us because of this little gem. You never know when something like this'll come in handy.

"R-Really?" replied Rass, "B-Because *I* c-can't think of *anything* to use it f-for. C-Could you give me a single possible use, Tem?"

Tem stayed silent for a moment, as though mulling over her answer. As a result, Rass was skeptical of her justification even before she opened her proverbial mouth. ...well don't you worry about a thing, she said finally, as the jack-out routines engaged themselves, As long as everything goes according to plan, what happens in NetVegas...

A burst of black light carried the fusion navi upward into the PET.

... will *probably* remain in NetVegas.

*Jack Out*