Family Woodland Retreat

The boss listened to Sleuth with a slack jaw, then coughed, the cough turning into a laugh as he threw his head back. “Reanimation?! Ahahaahack, hm, in a sense you’ve got it! Well, I think I’ll start telling people I am, at any rate. That’s quite a- hm,” he paused. It’d be easy to think he had fallen into deep thought if it weren’t for the bit of drool beginning to form at the corner of his mouth.

“None of have been dead, idiot,” the sister muttered impatiently. “Well, except the one you killed… Most of us had near-death scrapes, but none of us actually died. Any other bright ideas?”

If the sister had been feeling cocky from shooting down Sleuth’s last guess, she was knocked down a peg as Sleuth pointed out her muddied messaging. UnmadeMan scratched the back of his neck, frowning. “Yeah, uh, there was that message, Sis. Was that the one you were talking about, or, wasn’t it, that is?”

“… I didn’t mean that message. I meant there was no message from SuspendedMan to m-me.”

“Uh huh. Well, anyway… yeah, the message warned me about the two of you, considering you supposedly iced SuspendedMan,” UnmadeMan agreed, following Sleuth with a turn of his head and grinning. “A couple of big problems, but not too big for me to handle, hehehe…” He tilted his cup back and opened the trap jaw of his mouth to guzzle down the rest of his mug, as if to further make Sleuth’s point.

“The observation that UnmadeMan isn’t poisoned means nothing,” the sister muttered. “This is the problem when you try to play detective to your own crime: all of your invented reasons, invented holes in reasoning? Pointless.”

“I dunno, does she really seem like the type of person who’d come up with a free-wheeling mystery deduction just for sh*ts and giggles?” Shoe wisecracked unhelpfully.

Sleuth got back to that investigation, questioning the sister on the most suspicious point remaining. “How should I know why your accomplice did what she did? And obv-obviously he was- he collapsed- I- I stayed in the kitchen cause I had to plan how to defend myself!”

“For my part, I only stunned her because I had to defend myself, then I came back here because my job is still to help Sleepy over here enjoy his birthday. I am still getting paid for this, by the way, or someone really is gonna get murdered.” She rubbed her bottom and gladly got out of Sleuth’s way, glancing around the room humorlessly. “That was a joke, by the way.” She raised her eyebrow as she watched the other detective multitask, glancing from her bottom to the slowly waking target of her entertainment. “You’re gonna draw him back out like that, you know… Anyway, yeah. If this was the guy’s teleport, his operator has a really bad sense of humor. But it was definitely a jack-out.”

The two aware members of the Family in the room glanced at each other after Sleuth’s question, then apparently decided to answer her. “Not like he told us or anything, but I’m pretty sure… this was the Boss’s retirement, right? So, SuspendedMan is… was… whatever, is his right-hand man. His number 2, ya see. So all I figured was it was just gonna be one of those rah-rah-rah things to drum up support for himself. Talk about what was next for the Family, or some nonsense.”

“I didn’t know any different,” Sis muttered, taking enough steps forward to peer down at Sleuth in her prone position. “And now, none of us ever will… could that be part of your sick motives…?”

“Now, why would she raise the question if it was part of her motive?” the boss asked bemusedly, as though he had been participating all along. He gave a half-awake slap to Sleuth’s bottom, leaving his hand there lazily as he considered her question. “I think I’ve started to understand this murder game that’s put together. I haven’t been all here for it, but I think I’ve put it together… He staged this whole thing as a way of making his announcement, did he? I’d never taken him to have such an odd sense of humor… In any case, yes. If the point is for me to make the announcement, I’ll do it in his stead. SuspendedMan has an operator; therefore, I hardly expect he’s dead now. There, I’ve solved the little mystery for you. Now, why don’t you put that clever head of yours to better-“

“Hold on, what?!” UnmadeMan interrupted him, stomping a foot on the floor. “Boss, I hate to interrupt, but how can you say that? Our Family’s oath has always been-“

“I’m not going to explain his reasoning for him, but I’m not your Boss anymore,” the now nameless Navi declared, playing with Sleuth’s behind as he spoke. “As soon as your Boss finishes nursing his hangover, he will doubtless return and make it official. Now, can’t I please enjoy the entertainment in peace? Now that the mystery’s over, I’d much rather have a detective than a maid-“

“How can you say this is over?!” Sis roared, turning towards the boss and jetting colorful smoke from her vents. “How can you sp-sp-spit on the tenants of our Family like that? Y-you’ve gone delusional, crazy!” She turned to UnmadeMan, now shouting at him. “Does anybody remember what we stand for? UnmadeMan, you’re next in line! You’re the head of the Family! And now, I serve under you. Let’s show our power right now and destroy these two…!”

“…” UnmadeMan stood with his teeth gritted and his head facing the floor. “I got no idea what’s going on…” he admitted, sounding sapped of strength.

Annoyingly, the boss appeared to have become less interested in doling out hints and solving mysteries, and more interested in his idle affairs once more. “Haha! Liven up! Live a little, live a lot, just live! Ahaha!” It was clear from his renewed enthusiasm that if the Family didn’t end Sleuth first, the boss likely intended to do so starting from her end.

Finally, Sleuth’s would-be ally and fellow detective who hadn’t been much help so far slid into place in front of Sleuth, lying on her side and smiling wryly. It could be she was just enjoying seeing Sleuth face the same punishment she’d been forced to endure a moment ago, or she might be enjoying the humor of the situation in general, considering how Sleuth planned to deal with people who might want her dead in this position. “Well? Have all of the pieces fallen into place? Are you ready to deliver the last proclamation? I’d love it if we could wrap up while there’s still a Family to pay us…”
Sleuth returned a smile that might have been a mockery of the Boss's slack-faced smirk, hoping that he was too dull right now to understand what she was doing. It was hard to keep up the joke anyway, with her backside getting thwacked, so she turned back toward the bickering UnmadeMan and Sis. It seemed there was more than a simple misstatement of fact when it came to this message deal. Sleuth wanted to reach out and give her partner in crime-solving a whack on the butt for her dry humor, but it would be pretty uncomfortable from her current position.

Speaking of which, she was currently less concerned about the safety of her backside, which was well padded and used to being vigorously slapped for entertainment purposes, and more worried about the likelihood of Sis simply stabbing one of those big needles through her back while she was prone and snooping. She was just barely listening as the boss rambled on about SuspendedMan's ascension, when she suddenly noted a critical piece of information: namely, the confirmation of her theory that SuspendedMan had an operator and was capable of jack out. "Eurek-ah!" she proclaimed, as the boss delivered another ill-timed thwack.

"Ah, Miss Shoe, so right now I'm both the maid and the detective, while you are reprising your role as- HRK- sexy furniture," she joked, determined to finish it despite the spanking. "But for now, yes! I do believe the answer has been handed to me on a - GRK- silver platter. And sirrah, if you want me to live so badly then why are you- KILLING- me?" she questioned, perhaps opening a new murder mystery. "I kid. Now, allow me to lay the details bare." It would be hard not to stare at either her massive breasts squished beneath her or her elevated, thong-clad ass as she offered to make things bare.

She cleared her throat, looked both ways, hissed again at a particularly rough spank, then put on an unamused expression. "Well, it's all rather simple isn't it? UnmadeMan, please, hold Sis's hand for a minute, because this news may be rather- SHOCK-ing," she prepared the two of them, urging him to do so quickly. "Yes, I believe this is what they call the falling- ACK- tion, because-AYEE- have put all the p-EEEE-ces into- OOOKAY- that's it, I'm going to hurry this up," she squealed, her lower legs and toes curling up around the boss's shoulders as she found it hard to pretend the spanks weren't affecting her. "Sis wanted the famil-EEE- to be taken seriously again so she plotted to- KILL- SuspendedMan and then elevate UnMade-MAN THAT STINGS- to that position. She thought she had control- OH-ver him and he'd be- EASY- to manipulate."

Clenching her teeth, she suddenly scooted up a bit onto the Boss's lap, then carefully sat up and pushed her butt against his groin. She moved his hands to her breasts, then raised her hands behind her back. "There, please, content yourself with these for a bit," she urged him. "Sis knew that she could lead the Family into a proper position of power, but she also knew she wasn't net in line for the successor's position. If SuspendedMan died, that would mean she could either control UnmadeMan however she wanted with her wiles, or else, she could simply remove him down the line. Advantages of knowing that all of your allies- at least in theory- don't have jack-out protection. Sis, do you think I've got that about right? Oh, and do keep holding her hand, UnmadeMan."

"Of course, the question now, is whether this is all water under the bridge for you Family types or if you plan to return the favor," she shrugged, smiling over at UnmadeMan. "I guess that's really SuspendedMan's call to make, considering he isn't dead. I have pondered why Sis isn't already on the run if we've found her out, but doubtless, she'd still like to execute an escape plan of pinning this on either Shoe or myself. Do hold her hand tightly, UnmadeMan. Yes, very tightly. As tightly as your boss was squeezing my cheeks a moment ago, which, I assure you, was right and proper hard."
“Hey, I’m only doing what we were paid for,” Shoe responded, leaning again on what was evidently her favorite word while shrugging and continuing to watch Sleuth with amusement.

The boss, on the other hand, didn’t respond with any words. He slowed his pace for a moment, but in Sleuth’s position it probably felt like he was just waiting for the perfect moment when she was trying to make a salient point to strike again… Intentional or not, that proved to be accurate.

UnmadeMan did as Sleuth had requested. Seeming to have some idea it was part of Sleuth’s plan, the sister tried to pull away, but too late. She’d apparently decided she couldn’t force it, so she watched with an unhappy frown as Sleuth broke down her reasoning. Everyone stayed quiet as Sleuth spoke, perhaps out of some respect for the position she was speaking from and her obvious desire to proceed quickly.

Of course, the accused didn’t stay quiet when Shoe addressed her directly, starting forward again and gritting her teeth. “What power do you think you’re even talking about? What do you even know about this, or what kind of Family we’re trying to do? What is there here to control, and why would I want it?!”

“That’s a fair question,” Shoe agreed, seeming interested now that she had to do something with her attention. “The four we’ve seen today… that’s all of you, isn’t it? You’re called a ‘family,’ but you’re no Mafia family. You showed your disdain for the other major powers, but you all are in no position to challenge them at all. Maybe there’s something else that’s important to this family, besides power?” she mused, patting at her chest with the reflex to light a cigarette and frowning bitterly when she remembered she wasn’t carrying.

“Forget all the ‘why,’” UnmadeMan growled, grabbing Sis now not just by the hand but by both shoulders, frowning down at the short girl even from his stout height. “Forget it! My question now is ‘how,’ as in ‘how could you poison and try and kill that guy, our brother, that guy who loves you like a brother? And how could you like about it to me, this idiot who was about to off a nice piece for you on faith alone?’”

“Your siding with her, h-huh?” Shoe cried, biting at her lip and squirming. “Siding with a drunk floozy who sticks her nose in other people’s business for fun, and with that traitor who threw away our principles! Why would I even want to kill SuspendedMan? We d-d-d-don’t do anything! We sit here in a cozy cabin, we take care of our old man, that’s all we do! Living together by that code is the only is the only important thing… Living or dying together, being a family is… the only important thing…”

The boss continued to fondle Sleuth idly, apparently happy with what he was getting but working automatically and mercilessly. It seemed like it’d be a bit difficult to pry away from him.

“Dying together?” Shoe muttered with a dry smirk, glancing at Sleuth for a moment and taking a cautious step towards the brother and sister. “Because none of you can jack out, right? I put that much together… the idea of not having jack out capability, your boss being feeble… your Family operates on some principle that values mortality, hm?” She took another slow step forward.

“That’s what makes us strong. For your life to have an endpoint will give the sentence meaning,” the sister agreed, sniffling.

“So what’s more important to you, Sis…?” the detective asked, taking another small step forward. “Your family, or its principles? If you don’t have one, is the other enough?”

The sister sniffled, biting her lip and standing limply as her brother continued to hold her. She muttered to herself, “I’ll show you… I’ll show you I… c-can have b-b…” The girl trailed off, sniffling.

Shoe stood still, relaxed to an untrained eye, but clearly taut to anyone familiar with analyzing behavior.
For a little while, it seemed as if Shoe and UnmadeMan had decided to take on roles as detective and detective assistant for a while, allowing Sleuth to watch quietly for a bit. Normally, that wasn't a role she preferred, but after so many rapid-fire deductions (guesses?), it felt appropriate to let her throat rest. Still, she couldn't keep her thoughts at bay. What felt like a simple wrap-up had begun to feel first tense, then dangerous, as Shoe seemed to be testing the cornered criminal. Was this some technique to try to get a full confession out, to have Sis say everything in tears?

Sleuth replayed the information in her head... The "Family" here were not like a real mafia family. If anything, they were almost inverse. They may see their mortality as a sign of strange, but the truth of the matter was that no matter how big and bad and scary they were, they were essentially damned in a fight. If the whole group decided to turn and shoot her in the head right now, filling her full of holes, she'd be transported back to her PET with a massive headache and wouldn't be able to move freely for a bit. That was just the way navis tended to work. However, if she and Shoe decided to massacre the whole place, there'd be no coming back for them. It was like they were just slightly less vulnerable versions of unoperated navis.

It was hard for Sleuth to act cool while she was getting held down and vigorously spanked by one of those navis, but she did her best to put on a confident smile. "It is pretty rare that we navis get to truly jack off on our own feeling of immortality, isn't it, Miss Shoe?" she asked. If that didn't disrupt her partner's act, the next move would: she summoned a CircleGun1, manifesting in her right hand as a revolver loaded with four bullets, and pointed it in the woman's direction. "Would you kindly take a few steps back to your earlier position?"

* CircleGun1Damage: 100 + Seeking
Accuracy: A
Description: A highly accurate cannon attack that can see through invisibility. Can fire 4 times before being expended. Rare
Duration: 4 Uses
Element: Null
Trader Rank: C
activated, but not fired*

She spoke quickly now to explain her stance. "No one actually died here today and we are not here as some sort of NetPolice enforcers or Mafia hitmen. I am a nosy person who wants to get to the bottom of the truth, but that's the end of it. This is the Family's business and I believe things have been made clear enough that they can handle it themselves," she proposed. "More so once SuspendedMan reappears to join the deliberation. The only move now that can't be taken back... is a hasty move by one of us two outsiders."

Recrossing her arms beneath her hanging breasts, Sleuth turned her attention back to Sis. "Now, color me confused. You want your family and your principle of mortality, correct? You just said 'I'll show you I can have both,' but this is categorically false. You have just learned that one of your family, SuspendedMan, will never conform to this expectation and become mortal. You can try to kill him in some mass suicide if you like, but then he will be left alive and everyone else dead. You can try to live with him, but he will remain immortal, unless you all plan to join up with the real Mafia and collect some of those fancy barriers. So dry your eyes and please explain: how do you propose to have family and mortality together?" she questioned again, still keeping her CircleGun's barrel trained on Shoe, but keeping her voice directed to Sis as pleasant as she could manage, despite her goading words.
Shoe winced as she fell under Sleuth’s targeting, then raised her hands and took a few steps back. “You’re making a mistake,” she told the other Navi simply, but didn’t move to show any resistance. She definitely seemed like she had more she wanted to say in response to Sleuth’s explanation, but she had evidently resolved to watch the young woman with a tense frown.

All other ideas (and a couple of hands) remained on Sleuth while she questioned the sister, who was still crying openly. She waited for Sleuth to finish speaking, dried her eyes… then smiled. “You asked…” She turned to UnmadeMan. “Let’s stay family together, Brother.”

“Little girl-“ the Boss began with confusion… before…

Each of the tubes in the stegosaurus girl’s back plunged inward, and the eyes of her helmet glowed red. With a loud cry, the girl exploded outward into a gas cloud. The room was filled with a cloud of gaseous, acrid green poison that burn the eyes and seemed to search for the lungs like an invasive creature. Seeing or speaking was difficult.

If Sleuth was still searching for clues, she’d find one more that might be the last for this particular mystery: a scrap of the stegosaurus hood the Navi had been wearing, the lens shattered and unlit, splattered with data remains.

There was probably little time to confirm the positions of the others. She’d heard a slam from the wall near the door, where UnmadeMan’s voice now rang louder than any in a deafening howl. Sleuth could hear Shoe coughing from where she’d stood a moment earlier, and could tell from heavy footsteps she was moving towards UnmadeMan. The boss released an unhealthy series of hacks from where he remained seated, and from the fact he was clearly trying to speak but failing to form words, it was hard to imagine he had any clear grasp of what was going on. He also no longer had any grasp on Sleuth.

Sleuth probably wouldn't need long to actually get out of the house. She might even be able to do it blind, if she could recall her bearings. She could wait for her sight to recover as the gas thinned, but it didn't seem like a fun or healthy option.

Sleuth.EXE: 90/150 HP (Blind, 1 turn)
Poison cloud in building causes 60 HP per turn.