I don't feel like thinking of a good title...

"What the..." Sabrina started pressing buttons on her PET, and even gave it a good ol' shake, but nothing. "SplashMan? What's the deal? Why are you so slow?"

SplashMan looked at her like she was crazy. "What..are..you..talking..about? Why..are..you..talking..so..fast? Is..this..some..kind..of..joke?"

"Well, I think I just found out what's wrong with Yumland's Net...SplashMan! There's something over in the distance! Head over there!"

"Hmm......now..that..you..mention..it,..something..does..feel..kinda..weird......" The Aqua Navi shook his arm, definitely noticing something off...though he still couldn't figure out what it was. "I'm..going..to..go..to..that..thing..now!" He began racing towards whatever was over there...or at least he would be if the Net wasn't lagging...

(the race of a mission search begins!)
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You think you could defeat me?" A voice suddenly burst out. Splashman, manages to arrive, before seeing 5 navis EJO out of the area. The vicotr turns it head around, locking eyes with Splashman.
"Oho! A new challenger, eh?" The navi questions. He seems to be dresses in an all black bodysuit with lightning bolts running down the suit. His navi symbol, seems to be a disconnected modem. ((THX EON!)) He has dull grey eyes, but a sinister looking face. He has matted green hair on top of his head.
"I am the great! The Almighty! LAGMAN!" Lagman shouted, holding his arms to the sky. "I shall be the greatest navi to walk the net! You shall be my next victim!" Lagman announced, facing Splashman.
Looks like the cause wasn't a virus at all.
Time to rumble.

Lagman: 180 HP

Splashman: 140 HP

-GO FIGHT! GO FIGHT!-
-MISSION BATTLE-
-HAJIME!-
"Aha!" SplashMan engaged in pointing his finger at the opposing Navi, who was quite obviously behind this incident. "You won't get away with this! Right, Sabrina?"

"RightSplashMan!Whenwe'redonewithhim,hewon'tbeabletolagtheairinfrontofhim!"

The Aqua Navi made use of his element, and sweatdropped. "Can you slow down a little? You're going a mile a minute!"

"..Wellenoughofthislag!SplashMan,let'sgo!"

"Let's go? Okay, let's do it!"

"Allright,let'sjuststartwiththeusual!" Sabrina inserted a chip in the blink of an eye...or at least that's how SplashMan saw it. "Battlechip,WideShot!Slotin!"

"Wait, what?" The wide-mouthed gun appeared on his right arm, and suddenly all was made crystal clear. "Oh, that!" The WideShot was carefully aimed, and the wide arc of water was blasted at LagMan. "One down!"

"Let'sgetawayfromAquastuffforalittlebit!" Before SplashMan could so much as put his arm down, more chip data was on its way. "Battlechip,Shotgun!Doubleslotin!"

"...Huh??" Again, the changing shape on his arm brought mutual understanding. "Okay, right!" SplashMan aimed his new blaster towards the mischievous Navi, and let twin blasts fire upon being aimed. "Okay, this time I know what's next!"

"Youbetterknowwhat'snext!" The operator slammed another chip in, though for some reason she made sure to do it a little more slowly than usual. "Battlechip,Guard!Slotin!"

"Oi, this lag is a pain..." The Aqua Navi muttered under his breath as the yellow shield appeared in front of him. However, instead of ducking behind it, he grabbed it, in case he needed to change its direction. "I won't fall for getting hit behind like last time!"

[Order of Turn:
1-WideShot chip attack on LagMan (80, Aqua)
2-Shotgun chip attack on LagMan (50)
3-Shotgun chip attack on LagMan (50)
4-Guard1 chip attack (60-, Reflects damage)]
Lagman was duly blasted by the water attack bu then he screamed, hurting Splashman's poor ears. (1) "LAG CONTROL!" Lagman roared. Suddenly everything slowed down, a lot, and Sabrina's voice returned to normal, for Splashman anyway, Lagman really didn't care otherwise.
"FEAR MY POWER!" Lagman announced, laughing until he was knocked back by the Shotgun attack. He really needs to watch where he's going...
"PFAH!" Lagman spat, sidestepping the second Shotgun attack and walking to Splashman's side, which to Splashman, looked like he was walking REALLY fast at him.
"LAG HAMMER!" Lagman yelled, bonking Splashman on the head (24), making the net seem THAT MUCH Slower to Splashman.
"See how you like this!" Lagaman taunted, flipping away from the water navi.

Lagman: 50

Splashman: 115 (LAG'D -2 Actions)
By now, SplashMan's head was spinning. Everything was going so fast...even his operator. Stupid lag. "Ahh...can't we do anything about this lag?"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"...HUH???" The Aqua Navi looked back at his operator, incredibly confused. "Can't you talk a little slower?"

"!!!!!!"

"Darn! The lag's too bad to talk to her! But, maybe she'll get the hint if I do something like this!" He extended his arm as though he was about to use a chip attack, then held his position.

"!!!!!!" Though it seemed to SplashMan that his operator had done nothing, Sabrina had actually sent a chip his way. "!!!!!"

Surely but slowly...very slowly...the oddly shaped green cannon formed on the extended arm, and its cursor began to take shape and move. When it at least seemed like LagMan was under the cursor, the Navi fired. Once his arm was back to normal, he quickly prepared his water cannons, and let his staple Aqua blast loose. But with that lag, who knew if he connected with either?

[Order of Turn:
1-MarkCannon1 chip attack on LagMan (70, may lock on)
2-Water Splash sig attack on LagMan (70, Aqua)]

(...And I double posted by accident. Bleep. Please delete the second post, if at all possible/desirable.)
[DELETED]
"LOCK-ON ATTACKS? NOOOO!!!! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!" Lagman screamed dramatically as he was hit by the MarkCannon blast, then he looked down at himself and laughed.
"Oh silly me! I still have my Undershirt on!" Lagman laughed, holding his hand to his face as he sidestepped the watery blast that was coming his way.
"HAH! You see! With my power to control speed! I am invincible!" Lagman announced, spreading his arms out. He then transformed his hand into a beehive and attacked Splashman with a swarm of bees.
"In the near future! You won't exist!" Lagman announced, laughing. Apparently, he had lagged his pain receptors so much that he didn't realize what a critical state he was in.
The lag seemed to subside a little.

Lagman: 1

Splashman: 65 (LAGGED -1 action)

FINISH HIM!
((Um, I think Sabrina CAN talk to Splashman now, as stated in my earlier post))
(And kill the drama? NEVER!)

"...ashMan? SplashMan! Can you here me?"

"Hi Sabrina!" SplashMan turned towards his operator and waved. "I guess the lag's let up some!"

"Yeah, and thank goodness for that! Also, I think I have an idea on how to finish that guy!"

"Really? I'm all ears! Or at least I would if I had ears..."

"...If you weren't my Navi, I wouldn't be doing this just because that was the worst thing I've ever heard..." Sabrina began her usual method of chip insertion. Not that there's a ton of methods for that. "Battlechip, Vulcan! Slot in!"

The less-than-stellar machine gun appeared on the Aqua Navi's left arm, and all three of its glorious shots were quickly expended. Or as quickly as a lag-stricken Navi could expend them.

"Let's get more hits in!" Before her Navi could make any remarks, the young woman placed another chip in for data transfer. "Battlechip, AquaNeedle! Slot in!"

"Ooh!" The Vulcan vanished, and in its place appeared three spikes in SplashMan's right hand. After doing his best to aim, he let them all fly in one throw, hoping to nail the opposing Navi if it already hadn't happened. "So, what else can we do?"

"At the moment? Not much. Just do your best to evade!"

"What?! Why can't I just get Gu-oh, right. Lag..." The Aqua Navi sighed as he braced himself, ready to at least attempt any evading needed to be done.

[Order of Turn:
1-Vulcan1 chip attack on LagMan (10x3)
2-AquaNeedle1 chip attack on LagMan (20x3)
3-Dodge]
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lagman cried as the bullets and needles whizzed at him with supernatural speed. Wait, supernatural speed? Apparently, the lag died, and had suddenly made the netscape speed up, a lot. Lagman was brutally punctured and impaled by bullets and spikes alike, causing him to fall to the ground, defeated.
"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!" Lagman cried, EJO'ing.

Lagman: EJO'D

Splashman: 65

-VICTORY-
Get: 500z
"Well, that was interesting..." Sabrina stretched, the ordeal finally over. "Well, since he's gone, the Net should be back to normal. How is it, SplashMan?"

SplashMan waved his right arm, then his left, before looking around. "Everything looks good to me! I think we can go get our reward now!"

"Cool! You can get to Internet City from here, can't you?"

"Yep! It's the one place you can reach from anywhere!"

"Then how about heading over there and giving a report to the NetPolice?"

"Sounds good to me!" SplashMan turned and started heading for the BBS where he could do so. Exactly how he knew which way to go was beyond everyone...

(to the NetPolice BBS!)