An Introduction to Counterinfectionalism

The students in Burt's class watched with a complete lack of enthusiasm as his navi took the stage. All of them already had a vision in mind of what she'd look like, varying from a super-uptight religious fanatic to a bimbo with enormous breasts designed merely as eye-candy for her master. Luckily for Exorcist, she had been designed with only small portions of each of those facets and had not been cursed with a personality entirely dependent upon Burt's whims. The students all watched her in uncomfortable silence as she stepped out from the bright flash of light from which she had appeared on the net.

The hem of Exorcist's yellow robe barely scuffed the floor as she took a few steps experimentally. This was actually her first encounter with the net outside of her PET, she realized, as the only other time she'd even noticed the PET activated had been when the salesman had turned it on to make sure it would work. She felt just as awkward as the many, many students gawking at her from the other side of the monitor.

Burt brought his face close to the PET, unsure of how to use it. "Hello! Exorcist! It's me, I'm your operator! Say hello to me and my class!" he cried, utterly devoid of tact.

"Oh, that's right. H-Hello Burt. I've got some knowledge of you um... programmed in automatically so..." she started to mutter, smiling as cheerfully as she could in response. In reality, Burt had only uploaded the very most flattering knowledge about himself into the PET, so her hopes of what he was really like had shattered around her the moment he nearly shoved his face into his PET screen. "It's good to meet you though!" she piped back up optimistically, remembering her manners.

Burt stared down with a stupid smile, absorbing in the warmth of his navi's attitude. "So cute..." he thought, his eyebrows twitching with excitement. The professor's nostrils flared as he turned to his class, raising one fist into the air. "Well, class? What do you think of my navi, huuuuuh?!" he shouted, spreading his arms wide.

A few people murmured quietly. Mixed expressions were tossed around. "Seems nice." "What's with her hat?" "Does she have a tail?" "White hair?"

The teacher's jaw quivered with discontent. "Do you guys want me to fail you or something? What's with all of these stupid questions?" the teacher laughed, hiding a somewhat real threatening undertone. "And no it's not a tail, stupid. Turn around, Exorcist," he sighed, doing a spinning motion with one finger to demonstrate. The navi nodded, doing so obediently. "See? It's just long hair."

"Um, master? If you don't mind, I've been meaning to ask you something. It's about this whole idea of Counterinfectionalism," Exorcist piped up, raising her hand as if she needed permission to speak.

"She called me master!" Burt whispered childishly with one hand cupped to his mouth, giving a wink to his class. The class gave a collective groan as their teacher turned back to his PET.

"You see, I've had a lot of time to access all of the information you've stored on your PET, including all of your old lecture notes. I was just looking through all of the other religions you've studied and I felt like I had to ask... Why did you create your own?" Exorcist asked, looking perplexed. "I've been thinking about it while I waited for you to access this terminal. Why didn't you turn it on earlier?"

Burt stretched out the neck of his sweater uncomfortably, then gave a small laugh. "This really isn't the time to be talking about these things. Why don't we practice virus busting, huh? That's the big idea, right?"

Exorcist's eyes widened. Suddenly, the navi realized that she was being expected to jump right into the net purification that she'd read about in the Counterinfectionalism files Burt had set out for her only a few days ago. "Wait, uh, in front of all of these people? But I've never fought anyone before!" she babbled, checking around herself anxiously to make sure none of the "manifestations of evil" had already shown up. Thinking of them as pure embodiments of malevolent intent certainly didn't help her not to be afraid of their arrival.

"Now Exorcist, I must explain this to you. You're my navi and I love you," he said very seriously, straightening his glasses. A smile twitched at the corners of his seriously taut mouth, threatening to ruin his important speech, as he watched his navi's embarrassed reaction. "But we as a team have one goal more important than any other. We must rid the world of evil by destroying it as it manifests itself on the net. If you are afraid to take the first steps to becoming a great force of good, you will never succeed in creating the heaven that all humans desire."

"Right. You're absolutely right," Exorcist responded, tugging up the sagging shoulders of her robe and setting her mouth into a determined, no-nonsense frown. "I've got to get out there and do my best!"

Burt smiled, crossing his arms across his chest and nodding. "That's the spirit! Now get out there and start ridding the world of evil. All of you, please watch, as I'm pretty your navi's can't hold a candle to Exorcist's abilities," he responded, giving a smug smile back to his class.

"What are you talking about now, I haven't trained any abilities at all!" Exorcist cried resentfully, waving her hands apologetically to the crowd. "I'm sorry, there won't be much to see!"

((Ready for battle 1))
Exorcist comes accross a trio of enemies. Front and center sits a bunny, just staring ahead absentmindedly. On either side of it is a corn shaped enemy, moving backwards and forwards in a straight line.

Bunny: 50
BombcornA: 70
BombcornB: 70

Terrain: 100% Normal

Exorcist: 100

Battle 1 Go
Exorcist did a double take, noticing her first opponents just a short distance away. She blinked in confusion, feeling half relieved that the manifestations were so small and half offended that Burt should be making such a big deal to her about fighting corn and bunnies. "These are the manifestations of evil, Burt?" she asked, cocking her head to one side and pointing to the strange viruses with one slender finger covered in black cloth. "It's just that they look so cute, I couldn't imagine..."

Burt cleared his throat, closed his eyes, then smashed his palm down hard upon the podium with enough force to make the whole class jump in their woefully undersized seats. "That's a trick of deception! A survival method that they've developed to allow them to escape the well-deserved justice that so desperately needs to be brought to them. The viruses are capable of mischief on the net, but they know that's where they're vulnerable. This is why they give themselves such squishy, ridiculous bodies!" he explained, taking great pride in his Counterinfectualist reasoning skills. "They want to appeal to that soft, gentle compassion that lives within your feminine frame and use it to their own advantage!"

The navi nodded, staring the enemies down with her hands placed resolutely upon her hips. "So, I guess I need to come up with a plan before I charge in there. The area here is actually pretty devoid of evil presence, so it's not hard to concentrate. I'm thinking the best tools to start with would be my ranged weaponry, right?" she asked Burt. "I've never done this before, but that seems safe."

Burt nodded, then pulled out his folder. Three lonely chips took up only the top right corner of the folder's laminated sleeves; a sad reminder that Exorcist was still pretty low on the totem pole when it came to power. "Okay, I guess that'd be your shotgun and your cannon. Still though, I'm not sure that's such a satisfactory plan for your first time; I'd prefer you be more experimental. Instead, I'm going to send you your shotgun and a rageclaw, okay?" he asked, slotting in the chips regardless of what she decided.

"Really? But rageclaw's a close range chip. I'm not sure if I want to get in that close yet," she sighed, pressing her fingers together. "I guess I'll trust you on this one. Besides, if I'm scared to get close to viruses like this, I'll never make progress."

The operator raised one finger in the air to grab her attention. "Before you fire the shotgun, line up correctly so that we can make sure we hit both in one attack. Well, it won't make sure, but if we're lucky it just might work." Burt pushed his glasses up, huffing quietly. He didn't see any reason that his navi should be uptight over such simple enemies.

Shifting one leg in front of the other, Exorcist pointed her hand outward, forming a long, black shotgun over her forearm. She was used to being very expressive with her hands, so the obstructive device felt rather restraining to her, causing a small frown to quiver across her lips. "Oh well, I guess I'd better line it up," she muttered, sprinting to get into position. She clenched her teeth for a recoil, then fired the shotgun out towards the bunny, trying to angle and time it in such a way as to also hit the corn.

"No time to hesitate, they're going to be on you now. Get in there and claw em!" Burt warned her. He'd begun to feel a little worried about her himself, seeing how daintily she seemed to be carrying herself. He couldn't help but wonder if he shouldn't at least have made her a little less petite. "But I couldn't have enjoyed it if she was some kind of hulking muscle-girl," he reminded himself with a small nod.

Exorcist shook her arm quickly, expelling the shotgun and replacing it with a black, shining claw. This weapon felt a lot more comfortable for her, since it allowed for a reasonable degree of finger movement. With the shotgun, it had felt more to her like her arm was ending in a functionless stub. Exorcist lunged forward on both feet, readying the rageclaw, then extended out two fingers in a pointing motion.

"Huh? Wait, that's not how you use that weapon! You need to grab them and throw them!" Burt reminded his navi, shaking his head and waving his arms around.

The two fingers that Exorcist had extended were intended, however, to sink into the enemy's corn using her sword hands technique. She planned to sink them in as a skewer, then sling the enemy off, just as if she were throwing them. With any luck, she might be able to get back to him and do it again. She was becoming too frenzied in all of it to keep up with whether she'd be able to or not, but she made the attempt. The only thing that was left to do was to wait for the enemy's attack and try to respond accordingly with footwork.

1) Shotgun to Bunny and BombcornA [50]
2) Rageclaw to BombcornA [20] into Bombcorn B [20]
3) Rageclaw to BombcornB [40]
* Swordplay- Free Dodge
Exorcist hits the Bunny with her shotgun, deleting it. The blast from the attack also catches the adjacent Bombcorn, striking it with some freaky-ass sideshot. Before taking note of her success, Exorcist rushes in and smacks aside the weakened corn. It crashes into its fellow virus and disappeared, defeated. Exorcist strikes one last blow on the final virus, all but killing it, before holding off on her attack for a bit. The Bombcorn attempts to hit her with exploding kernals but it is unable to keep up with her fast-paced actions and misses her completely.

Bunny: DELETED!
BombcornA: DELETED!
BombcornB: 10

Terrain: 100% Normal

Exorcist: 100
"Ah! It worked! It looks like I've almost got them!" Exorcist cheered, clapping her hands together in surprise. She brushed off the sides of her robe, then gave back a happy "V" hand sign to symbolize her victory. "Now all I need to do is whip up something to finish off the final corn."

The operator's head bobbed up and down enthusiastically as he rifled through the chip folder. He found that only a cannon was left for him to send his navi. "Uh, I don't think I'm going to send you a cannon for now. Instead, why don't you try using this time to practice crafting talismans? I think you should have the ability to make some powerful battle talismans even at your current level," Burt told her, adjusting his glasses seriously.

"Oh? Um, I guess so. Do I need a calligraphy pen?" she asked, searching her personage briefly for any such tool. It didn't seem she had many handy places to store brushes or pens, or even ink for that matter, so she guessed it must instead be something built into her programming.

A smile spread across Burt's face as he prepared to explain what was, in his mind, one of the coolest functions he'd put into Exorcist. "You see, Exorcist, you have the ability to make your own special ink using your fingers. All you have to do is summon the talisman paper, put down your symbol, and then throw it. This process will require extreme dexterity on your part, but it should in itself increase your ability to think quickly during combat if you practice doing it devotedly."

"Um, okay. It just seems like it'd be easier if I could summon it with the ink already on," Exorcist muttered, forming a thin slip of paper between two of her fingers. Sticking her tongue out and up in deep concentration, she wrote the symbol as quickly as she could. Exorcist was surprised at how naturally the motion came to her. As her fingers moved across the paper, they formed sprawling black lines of wet ink, but there was no time to allow it to dry. Directly upon finishing, she slung the talisman forth with a lightning fast motion of her arm, trying to pin it onto the corn. With the rest of her focus, she waited to see if it would try to retaliate and prepared to move accordingly.

1) Ritual Talisman to Bombcorn [40]
2) Dodge
3) Dodge
As the last virus hops around, Exorcist makes a sign with her hands. She then takes out some paper and makes a sign on the small sheet. Kind of weird that the corn isn't taking a shot but... what the hell? Its all cool. Exorcist throws the paper and vanishes the 'evil'. This section has been 'purged'.

Bunny: DELETED!
BombcornA: DELETED!
BombcornB: DELETED!

Terrain: 100% Normal

Exorcist: 100

Rewards: Zapring1, 125z
"Three manifestations have been destroyed! It feels great to accomplish good deeds like this," the navi sighed, smiling and placing her hands upon her chest calmly. "You know, it's really invigorating, the thought of doing so much good for the world. Thank you very much for introducing me to this concept."

Burt's fingers clamped together as his mouth spread into an ecstatic grin. "Yes, Exorcist! Aren't we just the happiest netbattling couple?" he asked her, breathing into the PET.

The navi laughed awkwardly, drawing back almost as if she felt her operator really were invading her personal space. "I mean, even if one theoretically didn't fully believe in Counterinfectualism, it still is a great way to get yourself motivated to help others by getting rid of these viruses!" she continued somewhat hesitantly.

The operator's smile broke back down into a greatly disturbed frown. His eyebrows grew fierce as he leaned back towards his PET. "What was that?" he asked, cocking one ear to his PET and cupping his hand around it. "Did I hear somebody asking for a lecture in the beliefs and goals of Counterinfectualism?"

"N-No! Let's go take care of more viruses!" the navi stammered, gathering her wits about her to search out more enemies.

((Battle 2 please))
Three Metools run about ahead, meeping as they go. Two Boomers also float about nearby, side by side. Nothing seems to have taken notice of Exorcist yet, so the first move is hers to make.

MetoolA: 40
MetoolB: 40
MetoolC: 40
BoomerA: 60
BoomerB: 60

Terrain: 100% Normal

Exorcist: 100

Battle 2 Start
"Those things look kind of dangerous. Let's take this carefully," Burt noted. "They haven't noted us yet, but there's a lot more than last time. Those ones with the hard hats though, they're weak, I've seen my students beat them a dozen times." The teacher knew well his student's strategy to goof off on the internet and pass themselves off as doing actual virus busting work by taking on especially weak opponents.

"Alright. I think I'll approach them about like I did the last ones. Those guys over there are the ones I want to take out, so I'll line them up with the shotgun. Please send me a shotgun and a rageclaw," she asked her operator, sprinting into position.

"Mmm, okay, but we've got to try out our new weapon eventually too, not to mention the cannon. Every navi ought to know how to use a cannon," Burt laughed, slotting in the chips.

Exorcist accepted the weaponry, getting the shotgun ready in a similar way to her previous battle. Squinting briefly, she locked up the shot, then fired it off quickly, hoping the initiative was still hers to take advantage of. She quickly summoned her rageclaw to replace her shotgun, only to realize that she probably wouldn't be able to cover the distance to the boomers very quickly. "Ah... what to do..." she muttered briefly, biting her lip. Her legs were still carrying her forward, but she didn't really know what she was running for.

The metools seemed to be offering a convenient alternative option to trying to close the distance. Switching directions and skidding on both feet, she went for one of the metools, then cupped her claw's fingers into a formation like a hook. Reaching down, she attempted to scoop up one of the metools by the brim of its helmet, then chuck it in the direction of the boomers. Without hesitation, she attacked another, attempting to utilize him in much the same way. Realizing that the third metool could now easily attack her, she prepared to try a strafing dodge to avoid its linear shockwave.

"She's not bad," one of Burt's students commented. "She acts like she's been doing it for a while."

Another student nodded sagely. "And to be able to do all of that with such an awful operator," he responded in a raspy whisper.

"Extra homework for thursday!" Burt announced without turning around, keeping his eyes focused on the screen. The class gave another loud, monotone groan, but the professor's attention was all for the battle.

1) Shotgun to Boomer A and Boomer B [50]
2) Rageclaw Metool A [20] into Boomer A [20]
3) Rageclaw Metool B [20] into Boomer B [20]
*Swordplay- Free dodge
Exorcist fires her shotgun at the two Boomers, though they manage to spread out enough so that one avoid getting hit. She then moves in on the Metools and begins chucking them, one after the other being thrown into a boomer. The other Metool tries hitting Exorcist with a shockwave but she manages to avoid the attack.

MetoolA: 20
MetoolB: 20
MetoolC: 40
BoomerA: DELETED!
BoomerB: 40

Terrain: 100% Normal

Exorcist: 100
Burt frowned, showing a little disappointment at the second boomer's success in dodging the shotgun he and his partner had set up to finish off both enemies. "Eh, it doesn't matter! Not at all!" he laughed. "The evil is crafty! We can only expect the manifestations to be swift and dangerous. Good job avoiding their attacks thus far, for now we may prepare to counter!"

The navi had been disappointed as well, but not so disappointed she had stopped moving. Exorcist realized that it would be even more important now to keep up momentum, since the viruses had become aware of her and started their counter offensive. Still, she convinced herself to remain calm and have faith that her operator was providing her with good, on-the-level training and would probably not want to see her injured. Also, to a lesser extent, she believed in the power of the Counterinfectionist's creed or whatever. She still needed some convincing towards its practicality before she'd give it a wide breadth of credence.

"You're all watching this fine example of virus busting, right? I see you three sleeping in the back! Pep up or it'll be more homework on top of the additional load! If that happens, I'm also making you write a three page paper to Trevor or whoever about why he has so many assignments to do on his first day!" Burt threatened, leaning on his podium and lowering his glasses to look threatening. It was hard for him to do when the boys in question each had about two times his body mass, giving them a grand total of six Burts to his one. That had never stopped Burt before though, so he allowed his obstinate attitude to guide him on with inhuman courage towards his goals.

The students did indeed look as though they desired one less Burt in the equation, but knowing he was about to getting distracted with the battle again, they simply waited for him to turn around and then fell back to sleep.

While Burt and his class were exchanging glares, Exorcist was hard at work preparing to eliminate the remaining viruses. She was still quite close to the metools and still had the rageclaw from her previous plan; it seemed only natural to stay the course of her original idea. Dipping back down, she arched her back and brought forward her arm once more to try to grab the lip of another metool's helmet and sling him towards the remaining Boomer. Another one was nearby so she simply whirled around, her hair and coat making a sharp scratching noise as they slid across the panels of the net floor. With another swift motion, she attempted to grab up the metool and hurl him towards the same fate as a live projectile.

"Being a little predictable aren't we?" Burt asked, sipping his cola and raising one eyebrow.

"Y-You think so?" she stammered, suddenly realizing that she hadn't included variety as a factor in the plan. "Well, anyways, I'm going to make a talisman for that final metool," she announced, dancing back and forth on her feet in an attempt to bob and dodge attacks. Realizing this wouldn't be effective, she just got back to a tense stance and brought out the card. She had a hard time writing while moving, however, and ended up sprawling an extremely uneven message with her fingers. "Uh oh..."

"Well, who cares, just throw it," Burt laughed nonchalantly, waving it off.

"But it uh..." Exorcist muttered, looking down at the paper skeptically. "I mean, I can start a new one-"

"C'mon, just throw it! My students are watching, we can't be indecisive now," the operator urged her, shaking his fists up and down with impatience.

Exorcist sighed heavily, then turned and let it fly with a quick snap of her arm. Rather than any kind of sealing text, she had flubbed and written a symbol for longevity of life on the paper. At least if it still worked this would mean that she might be able to convince Burt to let her drop the in-battle calligraphy practice.

1) Rageclaw MetoolA [20] into BoomerB [20]
2) Rageclaw MetoolB [20] into BoomerB [20]
*) Swordplay- Free dodge
3) Ritual Talisman to Metool C [40]
Exorcist gets back into the business of flinging Metools and throws them both into the Boomer. As each hits, it gets deleted and soon the Boomer goes down as well. She then writes out a talisman and throws it. Even though it seems to be a long life charm, it still somehow kills the Met. After that, there is a long silence, broken by a cough that sounds suspiciously like, "retard".

MetoolA: DELETED!
MetoolB: DELETED!
MetoolC: DELETED!
BoomerA: DELETED!
BoomerB: DELETED!

Terrain: 100% Normal

Exorcist: 100

Rewards: Boomerrang, 150z
The class all watched in silence as Burt rapped the thin fingers of one of his feminine hands up and down upon the desk, using the other hand to store the new chip data. "Ha... Who was the guy who said that just now? Somebody'd better speak up," he laughed, not turning around to face the class. "I heard you, you know. I hear everything. I heard you call my navi a retard! You must really like cleaning if you're willing to come here and do it every day from 5:00 to 7:00 including weekends, huh? Are you a mama's boy?"

The student in the back didn't think Burt was fit to be calling anyone a mama's boy, but he kept his mouth shut, as did every other student. Nobody wanted to condemn or be condemned for the awful crime. Finally, a girl in the front row stood up. "I did it," she muttered, shifting awkwardly.

"You? Ha ha ha! Don't make me laugh! The very idea of you calling anyone a retard!" Burt guffawed, holding onto his desk and bawling with his mouth opened wide. "No, it's nice of you to try to defend him, but I think I know who really did it. It was YOU, wasn't it?" he shouted in an accusatory tone, pointing one finger out towards the completely innocent Roxie.

"Huh? Screw you, old man, I didn't do it!" she snapped back, crossing her arms and turning her head.

Exorcist shifted back and forth on her feet, more upset at Burt's vengeance than at the name-calling. "Oh, I'm not upset, really. It was pretty dumb of me to mess up the card like that," she muttered with a forced smile. "I'll just keep practicing then, even if..."

"... Even if?" Burt asked, raising one eyebrow and placing a hand to his chin.

"Ah, nevermind," she laughed, straightening her hat back up onto her head. "This thing could really use a good chin-strap..."

((Ready for Battle 3))
Exorcist strolls further into the Academy's system to find viruses to... "purify."

After a while of walking, the ritualist spots a field of flowers with three giant mushrooms and two bushes. Skipping toward the area, Exorcist might've enjoyed playing around in the flowers.

If the Mushrooms and bushes hadn't turned around to reveal they were viruses to the navi.

Uh... This, might be awkward.

MushyA: 80 HP
MushyB: 80 HP
MushyC: 80 HP
ShrubbyA: 50 HP (Behind MushyA)
ShrubbyB: 50 HP (Behind MushyB)

Terrain: 100% Grass

Exorcist.exe: 100 HP

-BATTLE 3-
-Uh... fight? (I dunno you could just frolic and make relationships with the virii lol)-
The flowers and pretty scenery had proven briefly relaxing for Exorcist, who fancied the area something like a garden, but again, only very briefly. As soon as the shrubbery started moving, she knew that the area must be infected. "I guess I need to hone my senses if I can't even tell that a location like this is corpulent with evil entities," she sighed, readying herself for combat.

"It's fine to get lost in nature every once and a while," a student piped up in a dreamy voice near the back of the class, but was mostly ignored. Burt paid little more attention than any of the dreary-eyed students who were forced to be there.

"You must not forget, Exorcist: in the net, enemies are lurking everywhere. Some may come disguised even as life's greatest, most natural gifts or your close friends. You must be ready to accept their challenge no matter what fearsome or devious form they may choose to take. Now, for some practical knowledge, we're going to study hedge-trimming," he explained, suddenly switching tones from his serious, dramatic lesson to his navi to a laughing, informal jest. Running his fingers across the smooth, laminated surface of his folder's sleeves, he found the new boomerang chip and brought it out. "This new chip ought to be just what we need to do the gardening, wouldn't you say?"

Exorcist looked around curiously, then looked back at Burt with a curious stare. "What? Gardening...?" she muttered, holding her hat down onto her head with one palm as she became lost in thought. "Oh, you mean like how we're going to cut up those viruses, right? I thought you meant like you actually wanted me to tend the garden," she answered, tilting her head with confusion.

Burt's smile twitched a little. Was his navi really that oblivious to sarcasm? He'd have to try it again some more after battle some time to check. "A-At any rate, go ahead and use this shotgun first," he laughed, swiping a shotgun and a boomerang through the PET.

As she accepted the chip data, the navi could not help but let out a small chuckle as she got what she understood as 'the punchline.' "Oh, ha ha, a joke, I get it! Alright, I'm 'gun'na shoot all of the viruses up now! Ha ha ha!" Exorcist giggle, trying to line up the shot so as to hit two of the shrubs in one attack. As the attack discharged from the shotgun's barrel, the hapless navi was already trying to think up another pun for her boomerang. Unable to think of one, she simply tossed the blade into the crowd of mushies with an expert flick of her wrist, then focused on her own safety. She decided that she could think up another joke while on the move.

"Exxy, I love you baby, but you've gotta never promise me you're never gonna make another joke like that," Burt laughed dryly, adjusting his glasses back up onto his nose.

"Oh sure, I promise, I'm never 'gun'na do it again!" she chuckled, smiling happily as she tried to focus on dodging the enemies' attacks.

1) Shotgun to ShrubbyA [50] and splash to Shrubby B [50]
2) Boomerang to Mushy A, B, and C [60]
3) Dodge
Exorcist fires her Shotgun and the blast hits one of the Mushies and the Shrubby behind it. She then whips out a boomerrang which cuts through two of the Mushies, though the wounded one, not wantint to get hit again, manages to get out of the way. The remaining Shrubby panics a bit and spits out a log before ducking behind the last Mushy. Exorcist manages to move to the side of the log's path, avoiding harm.

MushyA: 30 HP
MushyB: 20 HP
MushyC: 20 HP
ShrubbyA: DELETED!
ShrubbyB: 50 HP (Behind MushyA)

Terrain: 100% Grass

Exorcist.exe: 100 HP

[Edited to reflect true numerical values -RS]
((Please do not mod this yet, I'm waiting for Harbin to join))

"They're better than I thought. It seems that I didn't manage to expel any of the evil besides that one taking the form of a bush," she admitted dishearteningly, looking down at the floor.

"I think I know why," Burt answered, coughing into his hand. "They gained power from that awful joke you told. You see, I've had another vision just now that has led me to develop further my creed of Counterinfectionalism." Burt's glasses shined, veiling his eyes as he kept one open to watch his navi's response. Exorcist blinked in confusion, then finally urged him to continue. "From now on, the navi, whom is the strong arm of Counterinfectionalism by which the operator accomplishes his goals, shall not tell jokes during the extermination process. It is important in order to maintain a serious disposition towards fighting."

Exorcist looked taken back. "So I'm not even allowed to smile?" she asked, looking rather depressed and holding her hands together behind her back. "Or laugh or anything?"

Burt stretched out the collar of his sweater, laughing quietly. "No, no, do smile! Just uh, no puns. Or punch lines. Or knock knock jokes. Or even limericks," he instructed her with a casual wave of his hand.

"Uh, okay, I guess," she muttered, getting back to her fight. "I mean, you are the religion's founder and, um, only member, so I guess you have the right to make the rules for it," she commented, looking back up at him with cautious respect in her eyes.

"No, no. You're a member too, right? And all of the rest of my class, once they learn to do it correctly!" he laughed, grinning back at her jovially.

Exorcist nodded, then calmly requested a rageclaw. Once her operator had slotted it in for her, she went to work moving into grabbing distance of the viruses. She'd seen the log that the shrubby could use and felt fairly confident in her ability to dodge it, but she wasn't so sure about the mushrooms. They hadn't tried to attack her, so it was quite possible they had a more effective method of attack. With this reasoning, she decided to head to the mushies with her claw now equipped, skidding to a halt as she reached the first. Bending down briefly, she attempted to jab two fingers of her giant head of one of the enemies, then whirl and sling it into another. Seeing another one nearby, she repeated the process to try to fling him in a similar manner towards the same mushy.

She didn't think it would be wise to engage the final shrub again, now that her arsenal was thinning out a bit, so she resolved the rest of her strength to preparing for him to roll his log again. "Oh, one more thing," Burt mentioned suddenly, adjusting his glasses with a smile. "We've got a student of mine jacking in his navi to help you. He'll be helping you demonstrate our practice to my class."

Exorcist looked around curiously, waiting for her ally to show up. She thought to herself that it'd probably nice to have somebody else around to talk to besides Burt for a change.

1) Rageclaw Mushy B [20] into Mushy A [20]
2) Rageclaw Mushy C [20] into Mushy A [20]
*) Swordplay, free dodge
3) Dodge
A metal door slowly appeared from the bottom up, and was cautiously opened. Traceur stepped through, flexing his new arm tentatively as he closed the door with his left hand. "Hmm... Works well enough." The navi spoke, satisfied with the performance of his new arm.

"Oh, another navi this time? Travis, you didn't tell me I was team-busting. I thought it would be three metools or something and I'd demonstrate to the class." Traceur paused, looking at the opposition, and appraising the other navi. "Uh, what am I supposed to demonstrate? She looks like she's got the situation well in hands."

The pun wasn't too bad, or it was simply ignored as Travis shrugged. "Wait, there's a virus over there she's been ignoring. It's probably up to us to destroy it. Here, I'll send you the uh, shotgun. That should do enough, right?"

"Yeah, just a minute. Gotta reload. Was too busy getting my arm repaired in the PET." Traceur grabbed the auto-revolver out of the holster with his right arm, flipping it open with a snap and dumping out the casings before loading it with the maximum four bullets. It felt good to have both arms again. It certainly made it a lot easier to reload the weapon, that was for sure.

"'kay. Just for damage control, let me see the rest of these." Travis laid each of the chips out on the blackboard's chalk space, which was decently clean enough, but he cleared any of the white chalk dust out of the way.

"Alright, but you better hurry. I think she's going to take them all out if you don't." Traceur grinned, nodding at the other navi. "The name is Traceur. Nice to meetcha. I'll be helping you out today, I guess. Here's to getting along," He ended, firing at the shrubby with a pull of the trigger, a muzzle flash, and a bang.

"Oh, this one looks really nice. 'Sensor1'?" Travis said to himself and the PET, holding up the chip.

"Don't know how to use that one yet. Save it for later." Traceur said, waving a hand. "Just give me the cannons. I'll use one for cover fire and the other to heal her up if she takes a hit." Traceur leveled his revolver at a decent distance, taking out another bullet from his pouch and let the incoming chip infuse it. Reversing its energies by hacking it was easy enough, and he readied to toss it at the other navi just in case he saw her take a hit.

1] Shotgun ShrubbyB [50]
2] Cover Exorcist, fire Cannon if she can't kill all the viruses.
3] Cover Exorcist, Heal her for 20 with Converted Cannon if she gets hit.
Exorcist starts flinging Mushies around. One goes flying into its neighbor, disappearing upon impact. As a second one is thrown, both remaining Mushies are deleted by the impact. The Shrubby starts looking worried and fumbles around a bit. Then another navi plugs into the net. Using his awesome gunman abilities, Traceur immediately picks out exactly where Exorcist is waging her battle and comes to the rescue. One single shot from his gun and Traceur is able to end the battle. Yay.

MushyA: DELETED!
MushyB: DELETED!
MushyC: DELETED!
ShrubbyA: DELETED!
ShrubbyB: DELETED!

Terrain: 100% Grass

Exorcist.exe: 100 HP
Traceur: 100

Rewards: Exorcist: Ringlog1, 200z
Traceur: 125z
FXP: 1
Burt received the chip data across the monitor, slipping it into a laminated slot carelessly. "Eh, a log? Lame. What am I supposed to do with a log?" he groaned, addressing the question to nobody in particular.

"Actually, I could use something like purified peach wood, if it's a log of that," Exorcist piped up happily. Burt shook his head quickly, dispelling her hopes. "Well, um, maybe if I focus hard enough, I can make it peach wood! That shouldn't be beyond my programming should it?"

"Why are you so determined to make it peach wood in the first place?" Burt asked with a confused frown.

"Oh, well you see, Taoists like to use pure, untainted peach-" she started, then remembered that her ally had should helped her defeat some of the evil manifestations and that she had not yet paused to greet him. "Nevermind the peach wood for now, I should introduce myself! My name's Exorcist, spelled and pronounced just like the profession," she greeted Traceur with a polite bow. "What's your name?" The navi extended out one black-gloved hand as she asked, delivering a surprisingly firm hand-shake. Exorcist secretly prided herself on her talent with her hands and therefore suspected that a handshake would be a good way to greet a new face. "Thank you very much for helping me with those viruses just now," she smiled, retracting her hand back to her side.

"What? He didn't really help," Burt laughed annoyingly. "The kid just took out one bush! Let's wait to see how he performs in the next battle before we butter him up, I say. Isn't that right, er, Trevor? Can't have your navi getting cocky, eh?" Burt continued to guffaw annoyingly, clapping his hand up and down on Travis' back with surprising force. "Overconfidence is not conducive to our mission!"

"Our mission... Oh, right. Well, er," Exorcist fumbled, hesitant to explain the important concepts of Counterinfectionalism to her new friend because of how ridiculous they still seemed in her own mind. "Uh, sorry, your name first?"

"Oh, and no more jokes either! I just swore my navi off of jokes, so from now on Trevor, your navi's not allowed to make fun of my navi's hands any more!" Burt scolded his student with a wag of his finger. Exorcist protested as if she'd never heard him say anything of the type, but Burt was too stubborn to listen.