Organized Crime Meets Organized Religion

Exorcist appeared in a beam of green light, then gathered her chi. Even though the kiosk was GNA operated, she was already feeling wary, just knowing that Mafia folk were going to be around. "I really don't know about this, Burt! The Mafia probably isn't something you just join up with on a trial basis! It's not like a club that you attend once and then drop off once you get lazy!" the navi complained to her operator.

"Hey, I never get lazy about things that are important, okay? I just have a very narrow view of what's important," he defended. "The important thing is that you get well connected with everyone in the Mafia as fast as possible. Shake hands, make eye-contact, attend their biweekly softball games! We need good connections to get good resources!"

"I just think there's a couple of ways we could do this that don't involve associating with criminals," she murmured.

"Hmmm? Criminals like Nitro? You don't like associating with that guy? You didn't seem to mind too much during the mission!" he teased her.

Exorcist sighed, realizing that he had a point. She'd never have guessed the guy was part of the Mafia if she hadn't overheard Burt and Chris' conversation. Even when she'd heard it, she thought maybe she'd heard something wrong; now, it was pretty much confirmed. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe there are some people like us in the Mafia..."

"That's the spirit! Now let's go meet some Mafia guys!" he laughed in response, then took another swig of his cola.

Exorcist moved up to the kiosk, feeling sort of ashamed of her goal. She tried to get the attention of the clerk, then fidgeted with her hands as she poke to him/her. "Hello, my name's Exorcist. I'm looking to join the Mafia Creel group, if there are any openings at the moment. Can I get a recruitment mission?" she requested, looking cute and charming and utterly not-Mafia-like.

((Applying to Net Mafia, Creel Family))

The somewhat bored-looking receptionist directs Exorcist toward a small wooden booth set up across the way, complete with Creel logos, netmafia slogans-- everything that would be needed to advertise, basically. "Welcome aboard!" She rattles off. "Go man that booth for a while. If you do a good job, I'll pass the message on."

Exorcist looked back and forth between the impressive kiosk and the tiny wooden booth she was supposed to use to advertise. It might be pretty hard to drum up attention... "W-Well, I never expected to have nearly such a direct and relevant entrance test," she laughed awkwardly.

"See? You don't have to kill or rob anyone. Just pass out fliers. It's eeeeasy," Burt cooed, crossing his legs one over another and chilling on the lobby's couch. "The trick is making the fliers look like something somebody's gonna want. The fact that your stand is dumb and made of some sort of stupid net-wood is going to make it a little challenging though."

"Hrm, yeah..." Exorcist admitted, fixing her cap onto her head. "I don't think anyone will look over here. Furthermore, with this outfit, they might think I'm a religious solicitor. I think we'll get even less business if they have that impression..."

"Which is why we need to catch their attention! Let's figure out what works. What sort of booth would I approach? Hmmmmm......" Burt mused, rubbing his chin with an evil glint in his eye.

"I-I think the loincloth looks a little eccentric and religious too! We can't do that," the navi argued, having barely started looking over the fliers yet.

"How about-?"

"No! No school uniforms either. I think that'd make it look like some kind of... um... school club or something..."

"What about the-?"

"I-I'm not wearing my swimsuit in public, at least not with all of these other people around! It'll just look weird if I'm the only one in a swimsuit!"

"Which is why Mary and Bhikkhuni are going to join you!" Burt exclaimed, clapping his hands together giddily. Sure enough, in two beams of glorious green light, Mary and Bhikkhuni appeared on the net.

... And sure enough, the two of them were both dressed as Burt had hinted. Bhikkhuni barely looked like herself, wearing a cute bikini and losing her hair rings in favor of a long, down style. Mary, on the other hand, was less cute and more erotic, dressed in a tiny blue bikini and sporting a white beach bag. "Hello, Master!" she giggled, embracing Exorcist in a hug and smushing the yellow-robed navi with her tremendous breasts.

Exorcist was somewhat happy to see them; she hadn't gotten to again since they were knocked out of the net by Cerberus. On the other hand, their outfits made them stand out in a disorienting way. Furthermore, they heralded the oncoming of her own black and white swimsuit, which Burt quickly slipped onto her with the magic of .GMOs.

She scampered behind the counter bashfully, bending down to avoid being seen. "Buuurt, this is a terrible idea!"

"Nonsense! Come ooon, everyone's gonna wanna see what you guys are up to. When they come to check you out, pass them some Creel fliers! It's that simple!" he explained, giving a cheerful thumbs up.

"Mary, you're a holy woman... do you really want to wear something like that?" Exorcist whispered. "A-And Bhikkhuni, how in the world did he get you to wear something like this?!"

"I don't have a choice. It's not like I can block him from doing it. We all resigned ourselves to that a while ago, remember?" Bhikkhuni sighed, crossing her arms across her modest chest.

"What? I can't tell what he's dressed me in, of course," Mary giggled, her face reddening as she moved her hand slowly up her body in suggestive fashion. "Aaah... you naughty fellow. Making me wear something like this is a bit too forward, don't you think?" she asked, running her fingers through the back of her bikini with a snap to loosen the slight wedgie that had already begun to occur.

Exorcist watched the pink-haired, supposedly blind navi with a twitching eyebrow. "But your face makes it look like you're enjoying it," she muttered to herself, rising slowly from behind the counter. "Well, okay... We'll try it. I mean, this can't be the worst way you could advertise the Mafia," she sighed.

"Exactly the opposite! It's the best way!" Burt laughed, stretching his arms out comfortably across the sofa.

With that, Exorcist began to weakly advertise her fliers, while still unaware of what their actual contents were. "Hello, Kiosk-goers. Would you like to learn about exciting opportunities in Count-eeeeeer, Creel? The Creel family! The Net Mafia's Creel family is now recruiting!" she called out, struggling to correct herself mid-advertisement.

Bhikkhuni began to leaf through one of the fliers with a bored expression while Mary stood with her hands crossed politely at her lap.

Exorcist's waving fliers (Or wiggling bikini) manage to attract precisely the wrong kind of attention, at first, with most everyone in the square staring at the trio with gazes of either longing, infatuation, or, in the case of the receptionist who directed Exxy to pull this off, incredulous laughter.

As she continues to advertise for a while, finally an elderly, tiny navi shows up, hunched over with a cane. He walks up to the booth. "Th- the Netmafia?" He asks, looking up at Exxy (although perhaps coming up just a little short with his gaze). "A-aren't they just a, a buncha dangerous crooks? An, and what's with all this Creel business! Wh-what if I'm a fighter, what if I want to crunch some viruses under my bootheel!" The man seems to slowly be building into a fury as he speaks, stomping his foot. "Y-you third-generation navis think you're all that, but us first-gens have seen things you ain't never even heard of!"

"I dunno whether this is working at all... The kiosk sure seems animated now, but not really in the right way," Exorcist murmured, holding her yellow swimsuit-wrap down in front of her lap bashfully. She was especially alarmed when the old man came up to her and started throwing out questions.

She gulped, hearing him mentioning wanting to crush some ol' fashioned viruses under his bootheel. "W-Well, why not take one of our fliers to learn all about the Creel family? And just between you and me..." she murmured, then her eyes began flashing. Quickly, she summoned a sheet of calligraphy paper, but sprawled readable characters upon it. "Counterinfectualism is quickly becoming associated with Creel. Counterinfectualism is all about eliminating viruses!"

"Waaaait, Exxy, I dunno if combining Creel and Counterinfectualism is necessarily a good idea. They aren't really about the same thing," Bhikkhuni whispered.

"Yeah, but this'll be good advertising practice regardless. See, sir?" she asked, leaning over the counter so that her breasts were unintentionally put towards the older man's face. She pointed down to what she'd written, highlighting the key points of Counterinfectualism. "Counterinfectualism is all about that good old navi pass-time of virus busting! Navis of all generations ought to be able to enjoy it."

"Creel is the advertising arm of the Mafia. But what you should know is that Creel is a Family that Counterinfectualism can support! You see, the Mafia isn't about committing crime against others, but rather pursuing your own happiness. You've probably pursued your own dreams all your life, sir. Wouldn't you like to do it in the company of other dream pursuers... or perhaps recommend the organization to someone you know?" she asked, giving a sunny smile that utterly contradicted advertising for the Mafia.

Burt shook his head, clutching one palm to his greasy hair. "Huh... Actually, this is starting to seem like a weird match up. It sounded okay coming from my mouth, but hearing her say it..." he mused, rubbing his fingers across his scalp.

"W-well..." The navi nervously says, scratching his beard as a small line of junk data runs from his nose. "I-I uh..." He sniffs hard, pulling it back in. "I suppose that that'd be uh, right true, missy! I, uh, I'll give it some thought..." The old man stutters, walking away with the phamplet.

The navi manning the recruitment kiosk, meanwhile, simply looks over with a stunned expression. Exxy soon realizes that it is not because of her efforts, however, but more because of the three heelnavis headed toward the booth.

"Oi." The leader of the trio, a heelnavi painted with gaudy purple trim, speaks first. "You advertisin' the netmafia?" He asks.

"Yeah, yeah! You advertisin' the netmafia?" the second heel, one trimmed with silver plating, echoes.

"I dunno boss, looks more like a swimsuitin' organization than da Netmafia." the netnavi in the back mutters, his armor plated with bronze.

"W-why you, how dare ya disrespect the boss like that?!" Silver says, angrily raising a fist at Bronze there. "I-I oughta knock the bronze right offa ya, you punk!"

"Laydeez." The leader says, not even turning back. "Let her answer this question what I just asked, eh?"

Exorcist was happy to see that even if he hadn't been convinced, at least the old man's ideas seemed to have been influenced. Maybe all of this would be good practice after all. Still, as another new navi approached, her good mood began to leave her. After Burt had just convinced her that the mafia was full of people she'd like to meet, rather than stereotypical mafia guys, here came the textbook trio of stereotypical mafia guys.

"W-Why yes! We're advertising for the Creel Family of the NetMafia! We just thought it might serve as an um... attention grabber... sort of 'foot-in-the-door,' so to speak if we were to wear something that would make us stand out," the white-haired navi explained, trying to be as respectful as she could to navis who seemed like they may be her own employers.

"You catch more flies with honey!" Bhikkhuni offered, although the expression didn't entirely fit the situation.

"Hm hm hm, I like that way of describing it..." Mary cooed, seeming lost in her own thoughts again.

"Is there something I can help you with, my friends?" Exorcist inquired, crossing her hands at her lap and giving as warm a smile as she could manage while sweat rolled down her cheek.

"You bet, sweetheart. You gots any pamphlets for the Bloodhounds?" The leader of the trio asks, cocking his head to the side. "See me and my boys here ain't so good at talkin', but fightin', fightin' we can do."

"Yeah, we can fight! We're real good at it!" The silver heelnavi echoes.

"But boss, ain't you pretty good at mediatin' too?" The bronze-plated heelnavi counters. "I means, remember dat last time with the mermaid?"

"You raise a good point, my man." The leader says, scratching the bottom of his helmet with a gloved hand. "So we'd prolly be a good fit fer da head family, too."

"Yeah, yeah! The boss would make a good boss!" The silver heelnavi says. "And I'd be real real good at spreadin' a message! You know I would, right boss? Right?"

"And I be pretty good wit' machines too..." The bronze heelnavi remarks, thinking. "Not too good at fightin', but I can builds some things..."

Exorcist notes that she does, in fact, have pamphlets for every branch of the netmafia; most of them are Creel, it seems, but there are a few for the others. In particular, a single pamphlet for the Head family sticks out. But is it a good idea to give it to this guy...?

Exorcist had always been all about faith. For her, faith was the name of the game! It had to be if she was going to be content with her life as Burt's star disciple. As such, she was willing to put faith in the system the Mafia had created. It was up to their missions and tests to determine whether this golden guy was fit for the Mafia, not her.

As such, it was her duty to provide them with as much information as possible. "I'd advise you three to look at these pamphlets. Mr. Gold, here's one for the Head family. Mr. Silver, you get one for the Bloodhounds. Mr. Bronze, you can have one for the Techari family! The Mafia has many families to accommodate people of all talents," Exorcist beamed, feeling animated.

"From what I hear, the families work in close collaboration often," Mary mentioned with a slight smile. "You three ought to be able to work together as you do now, even if you find yourself interested in different families."

"Please take these pamphlets and read through them at your liesure to decide what route you'd like to take. I'll also let you have one of these Creel pamphlets, just so you can learn more about the advertising arm of the Mafia," she finished, sliding four pamphlets across the desk towards them.

Exorcist believed she was offering the navis a chance to make an informed decision, which was somewhat ironic, considering she'd never been allowed to make an informed decision in her life.

The three heelnavis take the pamphlets, and then sit at the booth for a while, scaring off other potential recruits.

Eventually, the leader of the trio stands up. "Arright den, I think I'll signs up for dis head family. Where do I go?"

"Yeah, yeah yeah!" The silver heel echoes. "This bloodhound family sounds great!" He excitedly finishes.

The bronze navi stays quiet, meanwhile, and continues reading the pamphlet.

"Well, we're actually right near the kiosk where you can sign up for Mafia recruitment," Exorcist explained, motioning over to exponentially larger kiosk that the GNA had set up as a mediator for faction recruits. "Of course, each of you would be required to undergo an initiation mission that would test your qualifications for the Family you were looking to join. I believe that three navis can work together in tandem, each sharing in the reward, however."

Mary and Bhikkhuni nodded and smiled stiffly. They both kind of hoped the navis wouldn't ask them anything further; since Exorcist was taking her own initiation mission herself, that was about as far as their knowledge of the recruitment process went.

The two excitedly tromp over to the larger, more impressive recruitment booth, forcing the recruiter there to deal with them.

She does not look pleased.

Meanwhile, the bronze navi perks up. "So... what about all those rumors that the Techari family works on bad stuff?" He begins, holding up the pamphlet. "Navi experimentation, virus data corruption, weaponry, system scramblers, hack tools..." He continues on like that for a while, listing a number of things both immediately understandable and not.

"I mean, normally you could pass it off as "just rumors", right? But when there's so many..." He sets the pamphlet on the desk.

Exorcist dismissed the opinion of the kiosk clerk that she'd sent the mafia-like fellows over to. Every day, day in and day out, Exorcist performed the important components of her job. She didn't like to be egotistic, but she couldn't imagine that what that woman had to put up with was any worse than what Burt put her through on a regular basis.

"It's not that I have a bad attitude about it, it's just that people ought to be willing to do their job with a smile, right?" she asked, cheerfully smiling across the desk to reassure the bronze navi.

"The Techari family is a haven for navi scientists, inventors, doctors, and thinkers who have been ostracized by the community, in some cases even from the NP Tech Division," she explained. All of this was coming from a video she'd watched before, explaining the Techari family in documentary form, although she was putting it in nicer words. "Techari certainly does many things that the law and society frown upon. I can't vouch for all of its members. I can assure you, however, that all of these folks are pursuing their dreams just as you and I want to. Isn't it fine to look at Techari's resources as a means to an end?"

Her last expression was a little diminutive, but it sort of reflected her own thinking towards the Mafia. "The Mafia aims to provide the resources for these thinkers to accomplish whatever they choose. What they choose to do with those resources is based on... their own volition," she continued, although she wanted to throw in that they could be possessed by evil demons, based on her own beliefs. "And I believe that there are probably some people that share your opinions and beliefs in Techari! If there's a direction you'd like to steer the family, you should definitely join and give it your all!"

Mary smiled encouragingly, although not exactly in the navi's direction, since she couldn't see him. Bhikkhuni quickly picked up the gig, so to speak, and tried to look enthusiastic as well. "Y-Yeah! If the Mafia has good resources, I'd totally want them for myself!" she pitched in. It was true: she did want the Mafia's stuff.

"The means to an end...?" The bronze navi tilts his head, crossing his arms. "That sounds eerily like the kind of logic extremists use..." He frowns-- or he would, you feel, if he weren't a Heelnavi model. "If we murder these people, we can save a flock of geese! If this water treatment plant is shut down, we'll cut back on pollution! If we break this dam, we'll restore the natural order!"

He uncrosses his arms. "But at the same time they'd still be murdering people, denying a city or several clean water, and denying anywhere from a city to a county power." He shakes his head. "Are you really certain the Netmafia-- despite they name they bear-- are not any different?"

Burt groaned, rubbing his fingers into his temples. "You know what this guy is? He's a bleeding heart! He's one of those guys who can't eat meat because he knows it comes from cows or something. Listen, we could do any of these things to help some people in the short term, sure, or we could get better tools for Counterinfectualism, clean up crystallized evil from the net, and then live in heaven on earth for the rest of the lives! Can't see the forest for the trees! That's the problem with people today," he ranted. "Tell him all that, Exxy."

Thinking carefully, Exorcist was almost certain that telling him that would just make him more irate. After all, Burt's ideas were a little hard for her to believe herself, and she was his star disciple. She figured it was still best to keep Counterinfectualism out of her work for now.

Exorcist also almost felt like complaining to her superiors. How was she supposed to jump out there and advertise the Creel Family before she'd ever participated alongside any of its members or heard anything from their mouths? While she was trying her hardest, she knew that everything she was saying was pure speculation.

Perhaps the point of the exercise was to be silver-tongued and lure people in to servitude, creating a binding contract or something of that sort? She'd heard about strong-arming recruiters in the past, but she thought that the Creel Family was supposed to take those out of the picture in favor of a friendlier image.

But still, all she knew about the Bloodhounds was that they killed people and all she knew about Techari was that they did creepy experiments that the NP wouldn't like. Still, Burt wouldn't let her into the organization if she'd be expected to poison a river, would he? There must be something she could do to convince the guy to see things her way.

As Exorcist knit her brow in contemplation, Bhikkhuni placed her hands at her hips and frowned. "Nevermind, this guy doesn't need to go in with all of those smart guys. Listen to him, 'murder people, save a flock of geese?' He's way too dumb to be part of the eggheads," she murmured, perhaps too audibly.

"Now now, the more important issue is that we shouldn't try to hide Techari's dealings from him. It's public knowledge that Techari has involved themselves in the research and supply of Jackout barriers, among other unsavory practices. I think you should see it this way, however: the ones who can influence where Techari's efforts go are inside Techari. If you want Techari to focus on using their technology for good, the best thing to do is join them and redirect them gradually towards their cause, right?" Exorcist asked.

"Wouldn't it be better to join the Head family and order them to do it? Or like... the NP, and shut them down?" the little SP asked, pouting.

"I think not," Mary interjected, keeping her hands crossed politely in front of herself. "The NP have pursued Techari for years, yet their research has continued. Also, from what I hear, all of the families are fairly equal in terms of the split of power. The Head family seems to function less as a supervisor and more of an order-keeper amongst the families, to make sure they're coordinated towards the good of the Mafia."

"Yeah, I'd imagine the ones inside the Techari are the ones making the agenda. It could be dangerous to get involved with such people," she admitted, turning her eyes back to the bronze navi. "Still, if you really do have technological skills, they'll be wasted in the NP's tech division. Freedom is one of the Mafia's policies; whatever you do for the NP will likely be routed. I think that if you truly want to flex your intellect to the best of your ability, you'd be better served to do it in Techari. Provided you can deal with the atmosphere..."

"Boy, this is getting longwinded, isn't it?" Bhikkhuni grumbled again.

"Perhaps, but it's a complex issue. People today who look to join the Mafia have to put a lot of thought into it; there's moral fulfillment and work incentives to consider. It's not the right decision for everyone," Exorcist replied. As she did, she realized that she hadn't ever been presented the option to put a lot of thought into it. All she could do was hope that Burt was sending her in the right direction...

"Hey, if the guy's getting paid to tag along with gold-face over there, maybe he should just stick with that? I dunno if he's really got a brain worth all of this debate," Bhikkhuni yawned, irking her master.

The bronze navi seemed to take pause at Bhikkhuni's statements, then yanked a phamplet out of Exxy's hands and stomped over toward the recruitment booth, flashing Bhikkuni a particular finger as he walked. The trio chattered for a while with the receptionist, who kept glaring daggers Exxy's way whenever she got the chance, and then walked off toward the Netsquare portal a few moments later.

The Bronze navi paused behind his compatriots, mid-stride, and turned to nod determinedly at Exorcist. A couple of strides later, he nodded at Bhikkuni with his finger. Again. And then walked through the portal.

Exorcist notices the receptionist waving her over a couple of seconds later. Upon Exorcist walking over, she gives her the most frustrated leer she has ever seen, and speaks. "Those two big fuckheads, you know, the gold and the silver? We don't take those anymore, at lea-... well, we just don't take them. They're too dead-set on fucking things over in as public a way as possible, and the Bloods are slightly more restrained than that." She pauses. "That bronze one got himself a mission for Techari, though. Not sure what you pulled to get him away from his boss, but he seemed kinda mixed about it."

The receptionist begins to type something up on a holoscreen. "I guess that'll do for now, I'll--" She pauses abruptly, paling, and stares over at the booth. "Oh, shit."

Following her gaze, Exxy finds a... purple-haired biker navi? He's wearing a leather jacket, a bandana, and some pants, spiked pads on his shoulders, a skull belt buckle... he seems strangely familiar.

"Okay, new job." The receptionist panics, typing in a string of rapid commands. "Keep THAT guy busy until I can get us some real help."

--Meanwhile--

"Good day there, chicks." The man rattled off at Bhikkuni and Mary. "What brings a pair like you two here, dressed like that?"

"W-Well... at least we got one," Exorcist chuckled sadly. "I guess maybe they all have talents. They might benefit from some time away from each other..."

"I think anyone could benefit from some time away from them!" Bhikkhuni pitched in, having just finished the important task of sticking her tongue out at the bronze one as hard as she could.

"I think they're just a couple of wayward boys, honestly~" Mary added, smiling cryptically.

With all of their mixed opinions off their bikini-clad chests, the group turned their attention towards their next formidable task. Well, they assumed he must be trouble based on what the attendant had said, but really, he looked like he'd fit right in with the Mafia. Exorcist noticed that he hadn't spotted her yet and thus decided to allow Mary and Bhikkhuni to handle it. "He might actually have an interest in them specifically! Perhaps that's just his taste," she reminded herself with a small smile.

Bhikkhuni, however, did not particularly feel like handling it. "We're dressed like this because our operator's a douche-"

"We're actually dressed this way to bring inquiring minds such as yourself over," Mary greeted the newcomer, waving in a friendly gesture. She hadn't spotted him at all until he spoke, thanks to her blindness (or pretend blindness, as Bhikkhuni suspected). "Would you like to know more about the NetMafia?" Her constant smile was inviting, but another emotion danced behind it...

"I wish I could follow her eyes!" Bhikkhuni thought to herself irritably, her eyebrows knitting with worry as she watched the intimidating navi approach.

"Ease up shortcakes, I'll get to you." The navi said with a grin, Leaning over the desk and doing absolutely nothing to hide the way he was taking in Mary's body by the bucketful. "Sure, pinks, why don't you tell me about the NetMafia. What division are you sellin', anyway?" You could almost hear the slimy sex-drive dripping off of his voice. "Way I figure if It's got a bunch of-- He-llooooo."

He paused. "SPs? Innnnnteresting. Only a guy'd dress his SPs up like that, too, damn." The navi scoffed slightly, kicking one foot over the other and leaning back against the desk. "Well then Whoracle, why not tell me about the NetMafia while Shortbox over there stews over the idea of hitting me?"

Although she bubbled with rage, Bhikkhuni just puffed out her cheeks and let her fists shake at her sides. She wasn't about to hit him by any stretch of the imagination, though, because that would imply fighting him; Bhikkhuni wouldn't have considered tangling with some skull belt-buckle guy even before the transfer down to SP.

Exorcist found herself half-pleased that he hadn't chosen to come over and talk to her, as he sounded like a real sleezeball. "There's lots of people who would choose swimsuits like these! Why does he only think that a guy would pick these out?" she questioned to herself, her inner logic working overtime to try and dig up the hidden fact that Burt was indeed a special type of guy who would want his navi and SP dressed as such. "I wonder if Mary can handle him alone, though? She must be furious after getting a nickname like that..."

The others couldn't see Mary's face, but in reality, she just smiled wider as she stammered in shock. "It's not nice to make assumptions about someone you just met," she complained, pressing one hand to her cheek as if she was deeply hurt, although the expression on her face clearly showed she wasn't. "We'd like to help every patron discover the Mafia family that suits them best. Why don't you tell me your name along with what sort of things you're interested in?"

"I have a pretty good idea of what sort of things he's interested in..." Bhikkhuni muttered, moving over towards the desk with the intent to tell Exorcist to step in. "And I have a pretty good idea of his name, too: Assface!"

"You can call me Stunt." He said, licking a lip. "You can also call me "ooh", "ah", "Please, more!" and "Yes, yes, ye~es!", but that's your choice." He shrugged anticlimactically, and then disappeared in a small poof of smoke.

A second later he was behind Bhikkhuni, and another second later he had given her ass a firm slap. "Takes one to know one, and you've certainly not got much of one down here, shortbox." Stunt chuckled ominously, his hand lingering for just a moment before he disappeared with another little poof.

The following sequence was rather hard to describe, mainly because it was hard to watch. Stunt spent the better part of a minute disappearing and reappearing all around the girls, grabbing, groping, squeezing, and slapping various bits of anatomy every time he left a puff of smoke behind, and all the while answering Mary's question in short bursts of sound. "I'm a lover-" Pwaf. "-not a fighter-" Poof. "-so I'd be a-" Bwiff. "-bit more interested-" Boff. "-in the department-" Shoof. "-that lets my..." he chuckled a little sleazily, "...natural charm shine through."

Meanwhile, a little ways away, the Receptionist was shooing Exorcist over toward the booth. "Don't just stand here, stall him!"