Supercomputer investigation

((Bach, sorry for taking this long to mod, and for short modpost compared to the others. Also, checked with a thinktank and from what we can tell, the elemental bonus stacks with mutihitters, and the DBLbeam does 40 if it hits red))

Splashman heals himself, and releases the payload of two chips before going on the defensive, whereabout Binary let lose both DBLbeams, getting red and blue. In what can be concidered a fit of anger, the mailman grabbed several letters from his bag, and said ina cold tone "I hope you get papercuts from this set of letters... and I hope they will kill you insulter of the postal system", the second part was more directed at Binary, and with a shout of "TIME TO GET POSTAL!" and threw the letters towards th two navis saying "Junk mail, Junk mail... OH! THIS ONE IS FROM THE SHOW!... Junk mail" You might be able to guess howmany times someone got hit, because only one letter came back to the Mailman... and strangely enough it had "Back to Sender" on it.


Mailman.EXE: 335HP

Splashman: 120 HP
Binary: 90 HP

"Ahh, won't this guy just go down?!" SplashMan lightly smacked the side of his head, clearly exasperated at the inability to reduce the enemy's HP to 0. "I've had enough mail puns to last me a year!"

"We all have, SplashMan...we all have...but don't worry, we're almost done! Just...I can't believe I'm going to do this..."

"Do what?"

Sabrina lethargically grabbed a chip with a picture of a raccoon in a fancy red mask, and placed it into her PET. "Battlechip, PickPocket...slot in..."

And so, the fancy red mask appeared on the Aqua Navi; considering he didn't really have a face, it was an incredibly curious fit. "Oh ho ho! Ze great thief SplashMan has returned for the loot of the battle!"

"Oh, for the love of..."

"Uh uh uh! Zere is no need to be testy with me, madamoiselle! I shall head for ze enemy Navi, take some of his data, and transmit it to you! It is, how do vous say, a fantastic plan!" Slightly adjusting his mask, SplashMan made a dash for the postal Navi; unfortunately, dashing still wasn't his strong suit. "Now, to get to ze Navi! I shall blind him with ze incredible speed!"

"Of a turtle, maybe..."

Fortunately for the young woman, she made her remark too softly for her Navi to hear. Not to mention he was too focused on the task at hand to pay much attention. "Oh ho! The Navi's data, she is mine!" Coming to a stop next to MailMan, the Aqua Navi reached out, grabbed a chunk of data form the enemy, and sent it to Sabrina's PET without so much as a glance of what it was. "Now, to beat ze quick retreat!"

And so he hastily ran back towards his original location. However, much to his operator's delight, the mask dissipated as he stopped from the second dash. "...Huh? What happened? I think I blanked out for a sec, and I dreamed I was a guy with a really bad French accent that liked to steal things..."

"...Yeah. It was a dream." Not wanting to dwell on the subject any longer, Sabrina removed three chips of a Mettaur getting shot, and placed it into her PET's insertion slot. "Let's make ourselves useful! Battlechip, Shotgun! Triple slot in!"

The blue blaster with the black tip took form on SplashMan's right arm, as it had so many times in the past. "Guess we're starting to get a little low on chip selection, huh?"

"Eh, we've got a couple of rounds of chips left. And it won't take us longer than that to finish off this creep, so don't worry! Just shoot!"

"Right!" The gun chip was speedily aimed at MailMan, and fired thrice with next to no fanfare of the occasion. In fact, the only notable part of any of it involved the first shot looking slightly more powerful than the other two. But it did make sense; after the first 100 fires, what made the 101st so special? Or the 102nd and 103rd, for that matter. "Three down, one...ugh, why do I feel too tired to do anything else?"

SplashMan's operator struggled to make up an excuse other than what really happened. "Er...guess you shouldn't have zoned out earlier!"

"I guess so..."

[Order of Turn:
1-PickPocket1 on MailMan (steals cash or chip data)
2-Shotgun chip attack on MailMan (50+15)
3-Shotgun chip attack on MailMan (50)
4-Shotgun chip attack on MailMan (50)]
Upon hearing Mailman's battle cry, Chris choked on his slice of Meat Lover's. The puns were starting to get really annoying. Then, looking down at his chips, he saw a trio of Cannons, a trio of Rageclaws, and a Firehit; all useless chips. "Ugh, this sucks. This guy's still going strong, and I'm all outta chips, or at least useful ones. What to do, what to do..." Chris mumbled. He then figured out what to do; calm his nerves with his favorite method.

So, he grabbed his other can of Darkstar, still almost full, and took out a little Swiss Army knife and cut the opening so more energy drink could flow out at once. Once he'd largened the hole to his likings, he tipped it and let the entire contents gush out the can and down his throat. He didn't take a single breath during the entire operation; he needed as much time as he could, and he had to let the caffeine do the thinking for him.

Once the last drop of Darkstar had been consumed, Chris took a deep breath and turned his head back to the battle. Already his mind was becoming more fine-tuned and precise in it's thoughts. "Now then, was this all that Gramps left us?" Chris asked himself. He remembered one other chip, but couldn't remember what it was. A SideBamboo? A SilverFist? A Shotgun?

"A Sword," Chris said. Frantically, he dug through his folder, and withdrew one last chip. A picture of an energylike blade shone on the front. "Binary, I'm sending you the Sword, and I'm ordering you to go completely ballistic with it. Don't let Mailman get up, alright?" he ordered his Navi.

"AFFIRMATIVE!" Binary shouted, readying the chip data for use.

Unfortunately, Binary's shoddy makeshift vocabulary had no idea what "go ballistic" meant. Quickly, the homemade Navi ran a search on a slang-dictionary webpage and found his answer almost immediately:

Quote ()

verb
get very angry and fly into a rage; "The professor combusted when the student didn't know the answer to a very elementary question"; "Spam makes me go ballistic"


From what he gathered, "Go Ballistic" meant to relentlessly attack without pause or mercy. Sinple enough. Binary readied the chip data.

Binary's hand suddenly disappeared, the digits retracting back into the white ooze that was Binary. Then, the rest of the finer details of the arm disappeared; all muscle tone, joints, everything except the arm itself, which was narrowing into a point at one end. Finally, the now-sharpened javelin arm suddenly snapped like a whip, meaning that Binary was ready to go.

Binary drew his Sword-arm back, as if preparing for a punch. Somehow forseeing what Binary was about to do, Chris couldn't help muttering, "Gomu Gomu noooooooo..." under his breath.

What Binary did next made Chris laugh; the move had been almost perfectly copied from this one anime that he watched. He hadn't watched it in a while, but he remembered it had had something to do with pirates and rubber. As quiet as he'd been before, Chris snickered and finished, "ooooooo...Machine Gun!"

As Chris had predicted, Luffy, er, Binary had "gone ballistic" on Mailman, just as he'd predicted. The sharpened arm was moving so fast, it somehow looked like it was jabbing in about fifty different places at once. Every place had one thing in common, though; they were all situated somewhere around Mailman's position.

The rapid-fire jabbing continued until Binary's chip data was exhausted, in which the Sword turned back into an arm. Still, he couldn't retract his arm in time, and plunged his arm foreward once more with the hand outstretched, attempting to slap Mailman across the face.

1/2/3: Gomu Gomu no Machine Gun! (Sword X3, 80x3 @ Mailman)

(Also attempting to slap Mailman after using the Machine Gun. And you may not be able to notice it, but I'm currently hooked on One Piece.)
<(FALCON BAUMP!)>
Splashman's pickpocket attempt failed to work for some reason; however, when Splashman followed that up with a barrage of shotguns, only two of them connected. Binary, for some strange reason, decided to 'steal' some kind of technique used by some strange pirate kid in some kind of, animated adventure or a comic book. About 2/3rds of Binary's attacks managed to hit the Mailman. In response, more mail was thrown at the two.



Mailman.EXE: 60HP

Splashman: 100 HP
Binary: 70 HP
Somehow, SplashMan was shocked that MailMan remained in front of him. And by shocked, he wasn't surprised in the least. "Sigh...he's still there...barely, but still there..."

"Yeah...well, only thing we can do is keep attacking until he isn't, right?"

"Right! But...what do we have left for chips?"

"Well, we've still got a few Shotguns, but we've also got all these Cannons lying around. We use Shotgun like, every battle, so why don't we go with Cannon this time?" Choosing not to let her Navi decide, Sabrina grabbed all four copies of the basic chip that she owned, and placed them all into her PET, one right after the other. "Battlechip, Cannon! Quadruple slot in!"

"Hmm...well-" The Aqua Navi's thought process was interrupted by the formation of a green cannon on his right arm. "Hey, you didn't let me finish!"

"Sorry, but the faster you shoot that thing at that stupid Navi, the faster he'll be deleted, and the faster I can change your folder with the chips I bought off the BBS! I didn't burn 15000z+ for nothing!"

SplashMan had started to aim the Cannon towards MailMan, but suddenly stopped and lowered his weapon when he heard the price. "...15000z? You spent that much on chips?"

"More than that, really. Probably more like 16000z."

"...What the heck did you get that cost that much?"

The young woman giggled. "You'll see!"

"If you say so..." The Aqua Navi shook his head, then held up the green cannon once more. Closing his left eye to try and get a better aim, he steadied the weapon, and let off one, two, three, four shots. "Well, that does it for Cannon! But are you sure you don't want to tell me what you got that possibly cost 16000z?"

Sabrina fumbled around her non-folder chips, and pulled out one that hadn't yet seen the inside of her PET. On it was a picture of a blue knight-like virus. However, her hand blocked that important bit of info. from her Navi's view. "I'll tell you this much. I'm holding one chip in my free hand right now. I paid 10000z for this one chip. Sound like a lot? Yep. But it's a great chip, and it's one that you can use better than any other Navi we've seen!"

"Better than any other Navi we've seen? Wow...sounds neat! Can't wait to try it out!"

[Order of Turn:
1-Cannon chip attack on MailMan (40)
2-Cannon chip attack on MailMan (40)
3-Cannon chip attack on MailMan (40)
4-Cannon chip attack on MailMan (40)]
<(Sucky post is sucky.)>

"What? He still isn't finished?" Chris exclaimed, gawking at the sight of the Navi still being able to stand up.

"APPROXIMATELY 2/3 OF 'SWORD' BATTLECHIP.DAT ATTACKS CONNECTED!" Binary explained briefly, his arm flexing a bit. "ADDITIONAL BATTLECHIP.DAT REQUIRED!" the genderless blue Navi then shouted.

"Hmm, what to choose..." Chris said, looking at his remaining folder. Now that he'd used up the Sword, all he had left was crap. Eventually, he sighed and said, "All right, Binary. I sent you three Cannons. Use 'em as well as you can," while slotting in the three identical chips.

Three little lumps appeared on Binary's right hand, between his fingers. The lumps eventually broke out and started to take shape as objects. Four points started to appear on each lump, as they transformed into tiny star shapes; Binary had made shuriken out of his own data. Then, the white blob of Navi began to shift his stance, preparing to throw the Cannon-shuriken. Chris recognized the move and stance immediately.

"I really need to cut back on the anime," he muttered, locating the nearest desk in the room and promptly headdesking.

Meanwhile, Binary had drawn back, about to throw the shuriken. The odd thing was that he'd drawn back so much his head was splattered against the floor, making an off picture. Nevertheless, his body separated from his head as he recoiled forward, releasing the deadly white ninja weapons as he went. Madly they spun, all converging on one spot: Mailman's position.

And thus, Binary got to work, extending tenrils of data from his neck to recover his splattered head while Chris rubbed his own sore one.

1. Cannon to Mailman (40)

2. Cannon to Mailman (40)

3. Cannon to Mailman (40)
The two navies fired their attacks upon the Mailman type Navi, and that is when stuff happened.
The navi, after taking each attack, stepped forward, and then fell down on the ground. His face hitting the ground with the force of gravity, he slowly vanishing due to deletion. Seconds afterwards...

*BAM!*

Some kind of, mail truck just ran over our two survivers, and what pops out of the window of the driverside is... Mailman.exe's head? With a quick shout of"BELATED DELIVERY!" he drives off into another part of the Scilab net... Wonder what was with that mailman...

Rewards: 1000 Zenny +countbomb1 each

HP totals

Splashman: 80 HP
Binary: 50 HP

((Ending modlock))
...Finally. It was over. SplashMan didn't even mind getting run over, simply because he was so happy that they had at least defeated the resiliant MailMan. However, there seemed to be two data packages in the area now...

"Wonder what's in the package? This better not be some kind of trap, because I'm too tired to really care right now..." The Aqua Navi dragged himself over to the package closest to him, and attempted to access it. Much to his surprise and relief, it was granted to him. "Let's see...there's some cash in here, and some kind of chip data! Never seen it before, personally..."

"Never seen it? Well, send it over, so I can check it out!"

"Roger!" With a weak wave of his arm, the zenny and chip data vanished, and reappeared in the PET of SplashMan's operator. "...Can we take a break now? I'm wiped..."

"Sure. The computer's cyberworld looks good now, so I think we got the cause of it." At this point, the chip data appeared on the PET's screen, along with plenty of information for Sabrina to read about it. "Let's see...the name of the chip is TimeBomb1, or CountBomb1 in Electopian. It says a bomb with 50 HP of endurance appears on the enemy's part of the battlefield, and explodes if it goes two turns without being destroyed."

"...What kind of chip is that? A Spikey could delete it before it worked!"

"Well, if it DOES last that long, it does 100 damage to all enemies, and it doesn't really miss."

"100 damage to everything? Well, that changes everything! We should tryit out sometime!...But not now. I really don't feel like battling..."

"Right. Sorry Chris, but you heard the Navi. I'm not gonna push him any more than he wants me to!" The young woman aimed her PET's sensor towards the jack-in port. "All right, I've even got the ports facing each other, so you can jack out really easy!"

"Thanks, Sabrina!" However, instead of leaving immediately, the Aqua Navi turned towards Binary. "Bye, Binary! It was fun virus busting with you! Let's do it again sometime!" And with those words, he left the Net in a beam of light.

(back to SciLab's real world)
"WOOHOO!" Chris whooped, watching Mailman get blasted with 7 healthy shots of Cannon goodness.

"DEACTIVATING BATTLE ROUTINES," Binary called. His numbers, once moving rapidly to announce that he was ready for anything, slowed down to lazily drifting around in his shell. However, he was still blue.

"Oh yeah, Binary, do you have any idea why you're blue?" Chris asked, as if he'd just noticed.

"REPEATED EXPOSURE TO INTERNETNAVIGATOR UNIT: SPLASHMAN.EXE CREATED ADDITIONAL FILE DATA. NEW FILE: "SPLASHCROSS.DAT!" Binary listed.

"Wait, wait, hold the phone, what? Splashcross? What's that all about?" Chris asked.

Unfortunately, Binary was not given a chance to answer, as an ominous shadow appeared on the other side of the network. "IDENTIFIED AS INTERNETNAVIGATOR UNIT: MAILMAN.EXE!" Binary called.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. What's he in, a mail truck?" Chris asked, slapping his forehead and readying his newly-refreshed chips.

Somehow, Chris was right. The mail truck zoomed across the screen, flattening Splashman and just plain splattering Binary all over the place, making tire treads in the chunks that were big enough to get tire treads in them. "Oh, crap. Don't tell me now BOTH his forms are gonna need repairing," Chris moaned.

Suddenly, what was left of Binary (where he once stood, eg: the very bottom of him), somehow picked itself off the ground. "Wha?" Chris asked.

Suddenly, all the pieces of Binary suddenly picked themselves up off the ground, floating in midair. Headed for the central Binary unit, they started to swirl around it like some kind of planet with a massive asteroid belt around it.

Piece by piece, Binary was reassembled, forming the usual genderless body once again, though still blue. Suddenly, texture started to form in the now-completed Navi shell's skin. What used to be just rubbery skin, like Jello, it was now more like rubbery scales.

"Hang on, I can't see his digits anymore!" Chris exclaimed.

Indeed, Binary was going opaque, the black ones and zeroes inside him no longer visible as he became solid. Then, his lower body extended, elongating to look like a gigantic snake tail long and thick enough to wrap around the mail truck that had just crushed Binary and crush it. It seemed to end abruptly, as if there was a giant gaping hole in it. Two rings of the same opaque blue scales suddenly appeared at the end.

Armour was also starting to appear, though as usual, made of the usual blue stuff. Deep socket-like things appeared in the slick armour that coated the majority of his upper torso. The armour extended upwards to fit hoodlike over his head. Finally, eyes and a nose appeared in the previously blank facial area (no mouth; the armour covers where the mouth would be), making Binary look like some kind of blue clay sculpture.

Colour then seeped in. The armour became black, with the scales going darker from bright blue to navy blue. His eyes went white, with black pupils and no irises. All the ringlike things around the sockets on his back and 'tail' went silver, like recently polished steel.

When it was completed, Binary dropped to the ground, having been suspended in midair. Like some old habit, his tail coiled around him like some cobra, while his new eyes looked at his hands. "W-What have I become?" he asked noone in particular. The surprising thing was that he'd just said something, in his normal (ish) form, in a perfectly normal, perfectly masculine tone of voice.

"Binary, I think that's what SplashCross is," Chris said, in awe.

"It would appear so, huh?" Binary said, chuckling and turning to his 'original'. "Splashman, thanks for letting me have this. And while I'm at it, thanks for busting with me; it was really fun. Not to mention that we served our purpose here," he said, holding out a hand, meaning to shake Splashman's, well, not hand. Cannon, maybe?

"So, do you two wanna keep busting?" Chris asked.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, not me. I'm tired, and I still ache from being run over by that mail truck. Speaking of which, looks like he dropped something," Binary said, gesturing to the path of the mail truck, where something glittered. "I'll get it," he said, meaning to turn his hand into a tentacle to retrieve the data, but was dismayed when he saw that he was no longer made of the flexible data. He was surprised, though, when about a dozen tentacles; navy blue scales with black tips like hoses, shot from his back to scoop up the data.

Dumping the data in his hands, Binary noted, "Must've been feeling pretty festive, leaving us this." He held out a pile of data for Splashman, while transmitting his own share to Chris. "So, then, Splashman, I think I'm gonna head out. Thanks again," he said to Splashman.

And thus, Binary, now with his new SplashCross, beamed up out of the Supercomputer to the digital sky, where a much-needed break awaited him.

<(Jack-out)>