Detective Looking for Work

Hello, my friends. I must thank you for my recent assignment and beg another of you. As my plate becomes empty, immediately, I come to you to have it filled. This is the sign of a true professional and a woman who values the well-being of others as her chief concern.

On that note, a quick review of my specialties: marksmanship, hand-to-hand combat, a knowledge of the spots in a man's body where it is easy to tear ligaments, where to kick a man in his dilly just such that it will cause the pain to numb him, all of the best jogging techniques in the case that said kick did not work to its maximum effect or my opponent has no dilly to attack, and, of course, the wittiest insults known to man, woman, or beast.

Of course, I'm more of a lover than a fighter. I'm very good at that, perhaps even better than I am at point-precision assaults on dillies.

Whatever task you have, I'll do it!

Your friend,
From your description, you may be well-suited for the attached position. There appear to be some requirements we can't verify the suitability of based on the information you've provided. Please review the attached description. Also, please indicate what you want in terms of a reward. If you accept, we will request coordinates from the client and verify they can provide payment.

Quote ()

I need a detective or a maid who is also a hot babe for my boss's birthday bash! And by hot I mean stacked, and by babe I mean a doll, like a woman, like a stacked babe! No NetPolice or NetMafia apply, unless they want a kick in the teeth! And a boot in the *ss and a knife in the throat! And teeth in the throat and teeth in their guts and p*ss on their graves!

Well, I'm a detective by trade, but I'm sure I'll be rather fetching as a maid if need be. Quite odd to hear the two are qualified for this same task... almost as if they aren't looking for a real detective at all! Are there people with detective fetishes out there? Don't meet many of those, now do you?

Well, I'd give you my measurements, but as a detective, I prefer an element of mystery. Suffice to say, my breasts are the kind a man can bury his whole face in, unless he has a really, bizarrely massive face. That ought to be good enough to paint a picture for you!

And I am proud to say I am not associated with either the flatheads in the NetPolice or those in the Mafia. I assure you, I piss in the tea of both quite equally. Although, I'm not the kind to piss in one's grave. Of course, both examples are purely metaphorical, I'm sure, so what's the difference, hm?

Enough prattle from me, I'd say! Let's have those coordinates! Oh yes and I would like to be paid in the usual fashion, despite the rather unusual work: zenny, of course.

Your friend,
Very well. The client accepted the response. Please proceed to the attached coordinates, unless you'd like to formally request more information first.

((Topic opening soon in Yumland Net Homepages.))