ACDC Virtual Park

"It does take a certain person to pull off clothes like mine, I suppose," Ante agreed with Dare,perhaps not allowing herself to see that Dare was insulting her wardrobe.

"The funny part is that nobody has to pull them off!" Teruko giggled, having another joke at her navi's expense. Once again, her navi didn't follow. "Cause... they come off by themselves? You know! Geez, quit making me explain all of these! It's not like you win if you don't laugh!"

Ante accepted the LilBomb with no fuss; she was beginning to assemble a pretty tidy bomb collection, for what it was worth, and she saw no reason to quit now. There was no mistaking Dare's insult-joke this time, but she smiled and kept quiet... and summarily ignored it, doing exactly what Teruko had accused her of earlier to kill the joke's momentum. "Thank you, PhoenixMan. Perhaps they're just about ready to announce the next contest for us?" she inquired, turning her attention back to ShamanMan and crew.

Though it almost seemed that he didn't notice the girls accept their chips, PhoenixMan's gaze steeled as Dare suggested they were too good for the traps to be sprung. "No, that's not it at all. If he had traps, we'd know it by now, and that's a fact. When he sets a trap, he makes sure that there's absolutely no way to avoid it. He may look like a loud, egotistical, short-tempered jerk...and he is. But he's a lot more devious than he looks. I just can't stress enough that we all need to be careful. I don't want to see anyone getting hurt, especially you two."

Ante proceeded to look over at the judges, who were idly chatting amongst themselves. It was hard to tell from that distance what they were saying, but based on their expression, Syki was probably baiting Lite into being annoyed, who was apparently all too happy to comply. Yep, that had to be it, as the shining Navi leapt out of her seat at the psychic...only to be restrained by a translucent Champy. ...Wait, a translucent Champy? And not only was it keeping her in check, but it wasn't even trying to punch her or anything. Very, very weird.

"The next event will probably start soon...there are short breaks scheduled after events 2 and 5. Gives everyone a chance to regroup and catch their breath." The less obnoxious bird Navi glanced again at VultureMan, who was hovering as he gave his underlings what looked like a motivating speech. For some reason, it was hard not to picture him with an army helmet and a riding crop as he did it. "I don't think I need to give you any fancy speeches, so I'll just say 'keep up the good work', and hope things keep going as smoothly as they have been. Though something tells me that second part isn't going to happen."

Dare GET: GutsPunch BattleChip data
Ante GET: LilBomb BattleChip data

"All right, Boss, we'll be careful," Dare lied, crossing her arms behind the back of her head and tapping her foot impatiently. Of course, she was the type who thought putting on the brakes and looking both ways were just quick ways to lose a race... but at the same time, she couldn't deny the guy seemed spooked. Dare chose to believe PhoenixMan knew what he was talking about. All the same, she'd trust Ante to stay careful, while devoting her own focus to coming in first.

The Navi decided to take advantage of the time in to get in some more stretches. "Well, that's all well and good, but I hope they don't take too long with the break. I feel like I was running harder than anybody, and my breath is nice and caught. I'm ready for another challenge!" The Navi rose from a squat and clapped her hands together, as though doing so would cause the next competition to be announced immediately.

"Dare and I can be crafty ourselves. Caution is wise, but we do need a certain degree of self assurance to avoid falling into his fear game as well," Ante chuckled, holding one hand to the side of her cheek as though trying to guard herself from having her lips read by the opponents. "Although... neither one of us has ever been particularly good at holding back or hiding or true capabilities. So VultureMan may have us beaten in the area of subtlety and manipulation of events," she mused, moving her hand to rest her chin upon its back.

As she stood and waited, her outfit slowly reclaimed its normal form, going from miniskirt to megaskirt. Ante barely noticed, having become accustomed to a miniskirt faster than she had figured she would.

The girls' comments, particularly Ante's, made PhoenixMan narrow his eyes...though his complete lack of intensity made it clear he was just thinking. "...Fear's not the right word. Let me put it this way...there's no doubting that VultureMan came here with some sort of ace up his sleeve. It's who he is. And he knows exactly when and how to use it. He may use it now, or maybe he won't...just, be careful. And that's an order from a misson giver to his clients."

The judges waved to get everyone's attention, though mystical will-o-wisps were needed to catch the darker bird Navi's eye. ShamanMan stepped(?) forward, having some things to say. "I wish to announce that the break is now over. It is my wish that it gave everyone a chance to rest up, in preparation for the future events. Are both teams ready to proceed?"

"Enough talkin', we got some scores to even!"

"...I shall take that as a yes. And your team, PhoenixMan?"

"We're all set."

"Then I shall commence the determination of the next event!" Another will-o-wisp slammed against the big red button, causing the machine to do its thing. Eventually, it settled upon...

"And the event I start crushing in is...Mettaur Mommy? Wait, we actually approved that?!"

"We did. I recall you being the one to push for it, in fact."

"Meh, I must've had one doozy of a stomachache from those milkshakes at that point...well, whatever, here's the rules. It's not a star event, so no bonuses for winning. It also could only be done if I could get ShamanMan here, since there's no way it'd work with real Mettaur!"

"...They ARE real Mettaur. They atre simply the spirits of those that passed without a grudge against Navis."

"...Whatever! So, ShamanMan whips up a...what'd you call it, again?"

"I will summon the spirits of six Mettaur, one for each Navi. They will be in a full corporeal state, so that they may be interacted with as though they were still alive."

"Right. Anyway, we each get one of those Mettaur. When the timer begins, each of us has to get them from the starting point, over to those bowls." VultureMan motioned toward six small pet dishes, which Syki was setting up and filling with some sort of strange substance. The bag that she was pouring from (psychically, of course, there was no way she could lift that large a bag) was quite clearly labeled, even from a distance, as 'Kibbles 'N Frags'. "Then, you have to get them to eat what's in that bowl...whatever it is. I think it's like, part dog food, part BugFrags, or something. Then, when they're nice and full, you have to get them back to the starting point, and tuck them into these sickeningly cute beds. That means making them stay there!" He pointed to the starting line, where six tiny Mettaur-themed pet beds were being set up by Lite, who looked like she was about to burst from happiness overload. "HOWEVER! There is a catch to all of this! They cannot be physically, mentally, or emotionally forced into doing any of this. They have to WANT to do all that stuff."

"And I shall remain linked with each Mettaur, so that any abuse will be immediately noticed, and that participant will be automatically disqualified. Incidentally, the Mettaur I summon shall have highly similar personalities, so that no one will have an advantage due to having a more friendly Mettaur than the others."

"Oh, and this one's not a combined time thing...this is a 'whoever gets their Mettaur to do all that stuff first wins' thing! So...any questions?"

"This is one of the stranger ones, for sure...I think that distance between the starting point and the bowls is around 100 feet. Still, can't blame you if you've got any questions about this one." With that, everyone looked around, or kept setting up the stage, in preparation for games involving ghost Mettaur.

"Well, if he doesn't use it this time, he's going to miss his chance," Dare said, helpless to avoid perpetuating the cycle of cautious warnings and cocky retorts. "We're already two and oh in this thing! If I were VultureMan, I think now is about the time I would bring out the big guns..."

However, to Dare's shock, the next event would hardly qualify as most people's definition of "the big guns." "Geez... this has got to be the silliest contest I've ever participated in." Considering Dare's track record, that was a bold statement, but it seemed true nonetheless. "I seriously can't put together the ideas of you two as rivals and you two shooting the breeze over milkshakes while Buzzard Boy defends the idea of doing this at a picnic. All I can say is, you need to lay off those things."

The whole situation was so bizarre, Dare couldn't figure out if she was supposed to be laughing. She could not put together why VultureMan wanted to do this. Not to mention, how he even planned to do this without being sure-

Suddenly, Dare's confused smile tensed into a more clever one. VultureMan seemed strangely on-board with this goofy idea, and his "neutral judge" just happened to be one that enabled them to play it. Furthermore, wasn't ShamanMan supposed to be somebody famous? She hadn't heard of him, to be sure, but she was pretty certain she'd heard somebody say something like that earlier. VultureMan must have gone to great pains to get this particular judge...

Maybe this strange contest itself was VultureMan's trump card? But why would VultureMan have any reason to believe he had an advantage here? Was ShamanMan a pocket judge, who was going to control the Metools in VultureMan's favor? Was there some special rule that he was going to "conveniently" forget to mention? Did one of his goonies have a surprisingly soft, maternal side?

Anyway, Dare didn't see any way to attack that avenue for now. She didn't have any evidence or even a strong suspicion, just a gut feeling. Nothing about this made sense. Was it really just because the two Bird Brothers went wacky on milkshakes...? She'd just have to keep her eyes open for now.

"Just one question," Dare replied. "Again, I'm surprised I even have to ask this, but want to cover the bases. What are the rules on interfering with your opponent, if it doesn't 'abuse' either your Metool or his?"

Indicating one of the Metools, Dare found herself getting a good look at it. Bruce had never taken her to fight one of these yet, so she was still blissfully unaware of how obnoxious they could be. "I gotta admit, they are kinda cute... but hell, if I have to take this one straight-up, I'm probably sunk. I don't think I have a motherly bone in my body. But no time for thinking about that! Victory... come to mama!"

Ante was taken back slightly, which showed in the sudden, amazed largeness of her eyes. She had been working with Teruko for a while now, but that had felt mostly like a partnership or sisterhood... it was pretty strange for her, as a former princess, to be strictly instructed by her handler. Her reaction, therefore, was not particularly graceful: a sense of childlike indignation. She managed to hold it in and respond with a small nod instead, however. "Of course; discretion is the better part of valor," she replied, feeling inwardly annoyed that he didn't implicitly trust her to perform well.

"Princess, as a navi performing in the service of a GNA appointed mission, you must become used to taking orders," she heard the black queen's voice caution her in a whisper, thankfully one only audible to herself. "You can't be the commander in every battle. Without your status, you must speak with your actions if you want the respect of others."

"Are you able to hear my thoughts?" she questioned, suddenly pressing her hands to her earguards and desperately attempting not to think of anything embarrassing. She spoke in a low voice so that others wouldn't hear her talking to herself.

"Yes, unless I separate myself from your body. But don't worry: I would never take it upon myself to judge you or any aspect of your character. Any thought you have will undoubtedly be a splendid one," the voice responded quickly. It appeared that at least Ante had the implicit trust of one of her allies... perhaps too unconditional, as such praise was bordering on sycophantic.

Ante nodded and tried to zone back in to the event proceedings... knowing the black queen's ability now made it feel like she had two operators watching her instead of one. As if not to be forgotten, the first operator spoke up, sounding surprised to hear the first competition. "Wow! VultureMan has gotta have some huge mommy issues to go for a weird game like that..." she shuddered.

Ignoring the disturbing mental image, Ante knit her brow and tried to focus on the exact details of the contest. She felt about as much affinity for viruses as a woodsman might a log of wood he needed to chop... she wasn't actually aware that they could choose not to hold grudges. She'd always sort of figured they must all have a predisposition towards beef with humans, seeing as how hordes so frequently attack navis as soon as the enter the net. And... not only was she meeting benevolent viruses... but the ghosts of benevolent viruses? "The internet is such a curious place," she mused, idly pondering the existence of pleasant, undead viruses.

"Ha ha! Easy! Ante, you're already a pro at getting people to eat things. You just have to pull off your shirt and dribble it down your belly-" Teruko piped up, before Ante managed to cut off her feed.

The Black Queen popped out again, appearing in her shadowy black silhouette form, to offer more unwanted encouragement. "You had just been thinking about how you'd prefer to lead, after all. This is your perfect chance to demonstrate your leadership skills. Rather than mama and baby, you should consider yourself the commander and soldier! You should order them just as you would order me... Well, if I had a physical form right now, you would order me, that is," she suggested enthusiastically.

Ante closed her eyes; her eyebrows twitched and grew further furrowed. Listening to suggestions wasn't helping her at all. "I'm sorry, but as a commander, a certain degree of intolerance is required in order to be understood and ineffective... In this case, that might be too dangerous to pursue, because if anything I do is perceived as forcing them, I will be immediately disqualified," Ante reminded her ally, pressing one glove to her chin as she kept her eyelids shut and pondered her options. "Perhaps this is the time to act a lady, instead."

"Haven't you ever had a pet?" Teruko asked, rejoining the conversation as her navi re-established the link she'd severed earlier. "I know that if you were a princess, you probably lived in a big castle all by yourself! Didn't you ever want a pet, like a little dog? I did when I was little... but then, when I grew up, I realized I was never in my apartment for long enough at a time to keep one..."

"No, I never had a pet. Truth be told, I was never really alone, despite my status. There were many with whom I associated on a daily basis, both as master and servant, and simply to enjoy the pleasure of one another's company. In case you were starting to think that I am a runaway, looking for a more adventurous life away from the castle... I assure you, that isn't the case," Ante sighed. "But I do think you have the right idea. Treating the creature as a pet might be the most effective way to approach it."

"What about a baby?" Teruko asked, starting to grin at the thought. "Ha ha! I just imagined you pushing around a little stroller in your fancy dress and your hat! You look like one of those ancient, out-of-style parkstrollers! Although, hm... I guess you always look like one of those."

Ante shook her head rapidly, dispelling the image. "N-No, I don't think I can... er, I don't think I should try to picture it as a baby," she responded. The former princess had never been good with animals, but she had zero experience altogether with babies. Just imagining holding one gave her shivers a bit. Ironically, although Ante found her role as a lady important and had a very traditional idea of what sort of roles that gave her around the house, she had absolutely no desire to bring a child into that picture. Then again, most navis probably didn't give a lot of thought to babies, for obvious reasons.

"Well, that's actually a good thing. I mean, 100 feet? That's like a bunch of yards! Babies really shouldn't be crawling unassisted that far," Teruko realized, crossing her arms and putting on a serious expression.

In spite of herself, Ante ended up nodding along. That was a fairly good point. 100 feet wasn't much for a pet at all, but for a baby, navigating all of that would be a decent effort. "Very well. Now the only thing that remains is to wait for the start of the match... and to keep a good eye on our adversaries," she added, letting her eyes drift over to the two navis who would again be her opponents. They looked even less like mamas than she and Dare did...

Dare's comments made PhoenixMan suddenly blink, then looked over at his main foe. "Now that you mention it...VultureMan was pretty adamant about having this event in there, and that's a bit suspicious, even if he had downed a lot of milkshakes by then. That said, I seriously doubt ShamanMan is in on it. I've met him once before, and he's definitely a man of integrity. I feel safe in saying he won't control the Mettaur or anything to give anyone an advantage. If anything, he'd probably be outraged if there was anything afoot in this event."

"Hey, quit mumbling! If you've got questions, ask 'em! It'll be no fun trashing you if you don't get everything!" As if on cue, the question came. "Hmm...don't think there's anything that prohibits it. Judges?"

Lite and Syki both looked over at ShamanMan, probably because if anyone could make sense of this event, it would be him. "There is nothing in the rules about interfering with your opponent, provided the Mettaur itself is unaffected. That said, doing so would undoubtedly prevent you from getting anywhere yourself. Whether it is worth it...that is up to each individual to decide for themselves."

"Well, there ya go!"

"I will now summon the Mettaur, if it is not a problem for anyone...no objections? Very well." The mystical Navi raised his arms, causing strange blue fire to emenate from the ends of his arms. "Dunia ya wahenga, mimi wanahitaji msaada wa yako...wale ambao kuvaa chapeo, chini katika nguvu lakini kubwa katika umaarufu, toka nje!"

Six will-o-wisps appeared near the starting line, hovering just an inch or two above the ground for a moment...but then suddenly materialized into the yellow, black, and green viruses known throughout the cyber world. They looked around blankly, not seeming particularly interested in anything or anyone there. The fact they weren't blindly tearing things up, however, was a good sign that either ShamanMan had things well under control, or the Mettaur were genuinely not driven by blind hatred like most tended to be. Or even both.

"The Mettaur have been summoned. Each participating Navi shall choose a Mettaur, and get behind them. When everyone has done that, the event will begin on my signal." Looked like the two girl judges were done with their set-up, so the six Navis could now match up with Mettaur ghosts. Though, they all looked identical, and ShamanMan said they'd have similar personalities...so it probably wouldn't matter. As well, VultureMan and his crew were hanging back, letting Ante, Dare, and PhoenixMan go ahead and pick.

"They're probably letting us go first, so we can't claim foul play if something...off happens. Though, it shouldn't matter much, if any...well, whatever. You two can go ahead and pick, since I just got a message from my operator I need to respond to. Don't worry, it'll just be a moment."

"Well, I'll take your word on it, then," Dare replied to PhoenixMan, taking another look at the strange-looking shaman judge. It was true you couldn't judge many people on the Net by appearance. "Well, except for me, of course," she reminded herself with a nod. "The hot body, the sweet shades, and these awesome mufflers give me away."

It sounded like she would have to worry about interference from the others after all... she certainly hoped she didn't just give her fowl nemesis and his crooked cronies an idea just by asking the question. "Got it, thanks," she shouted out to their judges. "Not that I'm planning to take any detours, of course. Me and my Mettaur will be seeing you guys at the finish line!" ... At the food, she supposed. It would hopefully only be seeing the back of its eyelids and sheep jumping over fences by the end of it all. Obviously, she wasn't going to correct that inaccuracy in her snappy line.

Dare crossed her arms and watched all of the Mettaurs appear. It was true that they were probably all nearly identical, however... was that one twitching a bit more than the rest? Like he was antsy, frustrated with having to sit still, ready to move! Hungry, maybe? Hungry for VICTORY?

Having mused and jumped to conclusions based on a twitch of one of the Mettaur's feet that may have not even been voluntary, she made her way over to her choice. "Me and this guy! All the way." Dare took a runner's pose behind her chosen virus-spirit, as though she herself would be running the race. In her mind, however, she had already started putting together a game plan...

Ante had learned that she could interfere with the opponents, but if possible, she'd prefer not to; after all, that would not be becoming of a sportswoman, even if that sportswoman was taking part in the highly questionable "sport" of "Mettaur Mommy." "It would be beneath our team to do anything to distract or otherwise inhibit our opponents, regardless," she claimed, tilting up her chin unconsciously as she spoke. The end result was probably more condescending than amiable. "Alright... Now I just have to condition myself... I must act the part of a mother!"

"Act the part of a wife!" Teruko added excitedly.

"Yes! I must perform my wifely duties," Ante agreed, nodding with an elegant smile and pressing one hand to her chest, unaware that her operator had just tricked her into another innuendo. She walked forward slowly, her boots gently tapping against the net floor as she did. Dare had apparently found something in her Mettaur that had inspired her; Ante, on the other hand, was having a hard time projecting any kind of personality onto the Mettaur that gave her empathy for them. She closed her eyes and furrowed her brow, envisioning a baby and its mother... a warm, nurturing relationship, but one bred by necessity. Unlike navis, the baby would have a grim life ahead of itself if the mother did not care for it. Viruses, on the other hand... Actually, she wasn't entirely sure, but she vaguely remembered hearing something about a mother virus caring for children in recent history.

The black queen appeared again, popping out of Ante's shadow. "I have an idea! We can agree that the Mettaur is truly a baby; functionally, it is no different than a human baby, correct? So instead of wasting energy trying to see it as a baby, perhaps you should devote your energy to trying to imagine yourself as a Mettaur?" she offered. "Become its true mother, mentally! Invest yourself!"

Ante made a flabbergasted frown, then sighed; she would look silly no matter what she did, so it's not like it could hurt. "I suppose... image identification is important for children. So... Perhaps if I...?" she murmured, moving to the Mettaur next to Dare's on the right. She tugged her hat down every so slightly, so that her eyes were shadowed, then smoothed the feather down on her hat. Sighing, the princess navi then unzipped her choker and stretched out the hem of her skinsuit's neck. She shoved her rod weapon butt-first through the hole, down against her flesh, so that the spade-head and shaft protruded out of the top. It felt extremely awkward and looked equally so. To complete the image, she pulled the neck of her skinsuit up over her nose, such that the features of her face were hidden. "There."

"Teeheehehehe! That's great! You really do look like one!" Teruko guffawed. "Of course, you didn't need to do that pole thing... The Mettaurs don't always have their pickaxes up, so it's not really necessary as an identification tool, right?"

"Perhaps, but it will be necessary as a communication tool, I imagine. The baby might be spurred to motion if I generate some 'pickax movement' that it sees as a gesture by one of its species," Ante theorized, her voice muffled by her stretched undersuit. She experimentally wiggled the spear back and forth. The result was uncomfortable, but hopefully convincing. "I've readied my selection," she informed the judges, still speaking through the fabric.

Apparently, a moment to PhoenixMan was quite a while, as by the time he removed the screen in front of him, pretty much everyone was staring at him. It was a small miracle VultureMan hadn't started squawking about it yet. "...Eh? Oh, sorry, everyone. It took longer than I expected."

"Write your stupid mail some other time! Just pick a Mettaur so we can get this started already!"

"Fine, fine...no need to get your feathers rustled." Almost immediately, the flaming bird Navi flew over to one of the remaining virus spirits; it would be a shock if it was revealed that he hadn't just picked one at random. "I'll take this one."

"Finally!" The dark bird flew over, landing right next to his arch rival. "I've got this one! You other two can figure out which ones you want on your own, I'm sure!" Wordlessly, the HeelNavis looked at each other, then shrugged and got behind a Mettaur of their own. "That's everyone...now let's get this show on the road!"

"Very well. Is everyone ready?" ShamanMan immediately drew a few irritated glares for his innocent question. "...I shall take that as a yes. Lite, Syki, are you finished with the preparations?"

"All done here!"

"I am. Can't say I signed on to more or less pour dog food in a bowl, but I did it."

"Then, if there are no more questions, we shall begin!" The mystical Navi created small will-o-wisps in front of each competitor, much like the ones he had used to signal them earlier. "On your marks...get set......GO!" And thus did the flames vanish.

There was no timer this time, since it was simply 'first Navi to finish wins'. Now, how would everything go down? It was up to each Navi to determine that...

=============
ARRANGEMENT
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Lane 1: VultureMan
Lane 2: PhoenixMan
Lane 3: Giant HeelNavi
Lane 4: Dare
Lane 5: Ante
Lane 6: HeelNavi

Dare watched her ally / partner / fated rival Ante deliberate over her Metool with interest, still in her low stance preparing to run. She grinned, seeing that Ante must be coming up with a plan of her own. "See, Bruce? This is Ante's ingenious mind at work. I can't wait to see what kind of brilliant..."

Bruce broke into open laughter, reminding himself to thank Ante later for putting him back in a good mood. "Hahahaholy hell," he sputtered, banging his fist on the table.

"Oh, grow up Bruce. Ante's on the right track! In fact, our minds are on similar wavelengths. Our strategies will be two sides of the same coin." Dare kept her head turned from the viewscreen as she reprimanded him. "I can easily see that as a silver-medal strategy, but- snrk," she began, before suddenly making a sound like a hushed coughing fit.

"Pfft, you don't have to put on an act! She might have a plan, but we can both agree Ante looks seriously ridiculous."

"I think we've seen before that Ante's proven to have the drive to put herself in whatever position it takes to win," Dare reminded her operator, turning her head back to him while wiping a tear from her eye and trying to correct her expression from a goofy grin. "Don't underestimate that! The ability to walk forward without shame is one of the most obvious traits necessary to be a true winner. Anyhow, contest's about to start. Hopefully it'll be over in a flash. Get back to your fun with Teruko for now."

"Hmph, fun," Bruce said, falling into a gloomy mood again. "The only thing that's gonna be fun for me is if I can figure out which of these contests translates into me getting to force feed her prime rib..."

"Hey, none of that now. Pick something fun!" Dare commented, no longer looking at him and keeping her gaze forward. "... Besides, I think we both know you're not into fat chicks, so don't put yourself in an awkward situation, okay?"

"You've got a lot of nerve, you know that?" Bruce muttered, resting his cheek on his fist and his elbow on the table.

Now ignoring him, Dare had put her head totally in the game, her ears to the starting call, and her eyes on the Mettaur ahead of her. If her initial plan worked, she was going to have everything wrapped up immediately: putting the Mettaur to bed would be like taking candy from a baby... or rather, like feeding a baby candy and then putting him to bed... or rather, something without sugar that wouldn't keep him awake. "Let's leave food to Bruce and concentrate," she reminded herself.

Right at the go call, Dare immediately sprinted forward, being careful to demonstrate a fast, cool-looking sprint without firing off her noisy, potentially scary mufflers. She skated around, making a figure-8... to the average observer, it probably looked like she had decided to blow off the contest and try and get the judges to give her points by just showing off some more. She ended it with an acrobatic flip kick, landing in a heroic pose and glancing back at her Mettaur. "Whaddya think, buddy?" she said, sauntering over to him, kneeling down and putting a hand on his helmet. "Pretty cool, huh? I'll show you the secret to it: these!" She pulled the shades off of her head, presenting them to the Mettaur...

... Of course, it didn't have hands, so she did the liberty of putting them on the Mettaur herself, praying the frame would properly fit around and over its earguards. "With these sweet specs, you should be able to blaze a trail of your own! Why don't we have a race to try it out? First one over to that dish gets the grub!" Dare swung a finger over to clearly indicate her target food bowl.

At this point, Dare simply prayed her plan would work without a hitch. If she could get the Mettaur moving, then trot along in a mock-race with it, letting it have the lead but keeping it at a pace, then she would not only quickly get it to the finish line, she might tire it out. Needless to say, a sleepy Mettaur would play to her advantage.

As much as she wanted to check out what Ante was up to, she couldn't afford the time to turn around and look (and goodness knows she didn't have any intention of letting Ante get ahead so she could see it that way). She had to focus on her own Mettaur for now: hopefully, one-on-one attention would get it motivated for a one-on-one competition. However, she did spare a glance to the Giant HeelNavi in the adjacent lane. She had to be on the lookout for sabotage attempts on her own operations, or more importantly, on those of PhoenixMan. She had a strong suspicion that the lane he had, with foes on either side, could prove to be an issue...

Ante realized that the placement of herself and Dare in side-by-side lanes might play to her advantage. The other competitors would have a harder time getting in their way if the two girls could watch each other's backs and foil any attempts at sabotage that may arise. Of course, the arrangement did leave their employer in a sandwich of potential cheaters, which left a lot of room for him to be robbed of an easy victory... and she predicted that such a move would be the only logical ones for her enemies. After all, her opponents were an ugly bird and two guys, matched up against a pretty bird and two girls... while heelnavis frequently proved their ability to defy expectations and act nice or otherwise empathetic, they had never proven, to her at least, that they were capable of acting motherly. Or fatherly, for that matter. "The net is full of surprises, though. For instance, a year ago, I would have pictured my pantomiming a Mettaur just as unlikely as a heelnavi nurturing a child..." she reminded herself silently, her eyes drifting downwards towards her body as she bunched up her skirt beneath her, squatting with her legs now in an "M" position so her skirt belled pooled beneath her and just the tips of her shoes extended out from the hem of her dress. Her way wouldn't be fast moving by any means, but she figured that keeping up with a baby virus's pace was better than getting far ahead of it anyways, seeing as babies supposedly had very limited vision. She recalled reading that newborns can interpret images only a few inches in front of their face, gradually building further ability as they grow. Of course, her partner didn't seem to share the thought that slow and steady was the way to victory... but she couldn't imagine those words ever coming out of Dare's mouth, regardless of the circumstances.

"I have faith in you! I'd follow you to any food bowl, Red Queen!" a voice inside Ante's head encouraged her. She again was forced to remind herself that her head was no longer a private space.

Ante nodded, but remained silent. At this point, human speech was a no-no... even if she wanted to give her ally a severe scolding for laughing at her. There was nothing amusing about her situation at all... it was a sacrifice of personal dignity for the greater good. Her eyes gave a scornful glare, but her mouth remained hidden. "I feel fairly certain that Mettaurs make some kind of noise, but I have no idea what it might be," she pondered, placing one hand to her obscured chin.

"I'm not aware either," the Black Queen admitted.

Ante decided that since she couldn't think of anything good, she'd simply remain silent and communicate with her pickaxe. With some difficulty, she waved her spade back and forth by using the handle that nearly touched the ground behind her, hidden beneath her skirt. The position was extremely awkward to hold, forcing her to place her hands between the open arch of her legs, with her fists just beneath her buttocks. It was hard to even remain upright that way, so she decided that a simple back and forth motion would be all she could manage. After doing so, she stomped her feet up and down in a little march, where the Mettaur could see, then turned and began to head slowly towards the food bowl, hoping the creature would follow her bell skirt as it dragged the floor of the net.


Ante's potentially genius plan had not taken one thing into account one thing: the presence of viruses. In the presence of viruses, Ante's battle routine would kick in, whether she did wanted to fight or not. Whenever her battle routine kicked in, the hack that some mysterious malefactor had placed upon her so long ago would take its effect, causing her outfit to disintegrate into poker chips. Normally, the effect was pretty subtle; she could go for hours without being pulled down to her undersuit. Even if that did somehow come to pass, the undersuit was so resilient, thanks both to its defensive properties and to its overall greater size, that there was no way it would ever come off as part of the virus...

Her worries began early when her belt and skirt vanished into a red, clattering rain; not only was such noise not particularly good for avoiding upsetting her virus, but also, it would reveal to the crowd her awkward pose, as well as taking away some of her "Mettaur shape," which was best served by round, voluminous surfaces... Not that the round, voluminous surface revealed was a bad one, but it wasn't as voluminous as the skirt had been.

What had started as annoyance turned to panic as the pieces continued exploding one by one: hat, bustier, gloves, boots... soon she realized her whole silhouette was visible, which was not only embarrassing, but also ruined her attempted disguise. "H-How frustrating..." she murmured quietly, still hoping to keep out of earshot of the virus. She kept her back to it, hoping that somehow it was still following.

"Red Queen! It isn't over!" a voice rang out, not quite inside her head.

Ante breathed in deeply and then exhaled in a sigh. "I know, of course," she thought, keeping the dialogue internal and therefore quiet. "The contest isn't over yet. With any luck, the earlier recognition took root and the Mettaur will follow me regardless-"

"N-No! Your suit!" her mental hitch-hiker exclaimed, but it was too late; the suit she wore burst apart into chips, which clattered to the floor in the growing pile at Ante's feet, which were still balanced awkwardly on their toes as she continued her Mettaur squat.

"Confound it!" Ante cursed, then pressed both naked hands over her mouth. The last thing she needed was to reveal her mouth and/or voice to her Mettaur. Of course, once she gained her senses, she quickly realized there were other parts that needed covering worse than that. With her outer layer entirely chipified, the only things ostensibly left to her was a set of red, frilly lingerie, composed of overlaid layers of lace in neat rows to form a moderate-coverage, bikini-style pair of garments. A frilly garter wrapped one leg, matching the style of her underwear. A wealth of exposed and pleasingly shaped, if questionably colored, skin had been revealed, along with her rusty orange hair, which had a frazzled look to it despite having been held inside the neat hood. The cherry on top of all of this was her pose, which left both legs spread beneath her as she had been prepared to squat-walk her way to her destination. Her face gradually began to glow red, to match her eye and underwear color. "M-M... M-M-Meep!"

"Ah, that was it! That's the sound they make..." the Black Queen offered, hoping to encourage her but finding there was no salvaging the situation. "Well... Sometimes they do..."

"E-Everyone! Focus! Focus on the contest and not me! I-I-I," she stammered, then gulped, now crossing on hand across her chest while keeping the other beneath her to hold onto her staff, "I believe that was one of the rules! No looking into the lanes of other contestants!" With her legs shaking, she began to slowly squat-waddle her way, no longer focusing on the Mettaur behind her. All she wanted to do was get to the food and back, so that she could conceivably stop squatting, although she could no longer remember exactly why she was doing so in the first place.

"Hey Ante, how's your plan coming?" Teruko asked, turning on her monitor. She stared for a while, then looked to the Mettool, then back to her navi. "Oh. I get it. You're using that to lure it in! I was thinking maybe you would but... it's a baby and all, so making it stare at your ass is a little-"

"I'm not using that! There is no that! Everyone focus on your own lanes! Y-You too, Teruko!" Ante responded, fighting back the urge to start crying as she wiggled her way towards the food on the other side of her lane.

VultureMan flew around Mettaur #1, trying to size it up. He clearly had no idea how to approach it. It wasn't really surprising that he lacked any and all maternal (or even paternal) instinct, but it was odd that considering how adamant he was about having this event, he was basically doing it blind. Eventually, he landed next to it, and pointed over at the food. "Er...hey! There's really good food over there, and it's all yours! You should go over and chow down!" All he got for his remark was an odd stare. "...No, really, it's seriously good! I'd go eat it myself, but I'm full!" More odd staring. "...Sheesh, this is gonna be a real pain in the-"

The dark bird Navi's train of thought crashed and burned as it derailed into a mountain of Ante's scantily clad body. Completely ignoring the virus spirit, he flew over to the other Navi's lane, getting close enough to get an eyeful. "Oh, this is totally worth not being the first to finish!" Interestingly, he was positioned just right so that he wasn't actually interfering with anyone. Then again, it was probably less conscious sportsmanship, and more unconsciously getting into the best possible position to get a good look at her ass. Yeah, that was definitely it.

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PhoenixMan immediately dropped down on the word go, eventually laying in a prone position in front of Mettaur #2. "Hey there...how are you? Aside from being a ghost, anyway. Wanna stretch your le-er, feet? There's some chow over there, why don't we head over there and get some before the others eat it up?" The virus looked blankly, then sat down and pondered why the Navi was laying in front of it like that. Maybe he was getting in position to shoot it? Nah, he was way too close for that. He must be about to take a nap...yeah, that was it. It lowered its helmet over its eyes, followed by the sounds of light snoring.

The fiery bird Navi cringed at this revelation, getting an odd feeling that he wasn't going to win this one by himself. "Hold on a minute, now's a bad time to take a nap...!" The sounds of hundreds of small plastic bits hitting the ground at once made him look to Ante...the sight turned his face as red as his armor. "That's...quite embarrassing..." He immediately refocused on the Mettaur, though it was easy to tell he was having to try to not look back at his teammate...

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The Giant HeelNavi kneeled down, and looked on at Mettaur #3, who looked back at him completely terrified. Admittedly, the sight of a regular HeelNavi drew negative responses, much less ones that looked like they could actually stomp you to death. But he gently moved his hand forward, stopping just short of the spirit. Though on edge, the Mettaur investigated, becoming more and more relaxed as no matter what it did, the large Navi did nothing to harm it. "HELLO! I KNOW I'M BIG AND ALL AND TALK REALLY LOUD, BUT I PROMISE I'M NOT REALLY THAT SCARY! HMM...OH, I KNOW! LET'S GO OVER THERE AND EAT, THEN MAYBE WE CAN SMACK SOME PANELS AROUND!"

The mentioning of panel attacking instantly drew the Mettaur's undivided attention. It immediately drew its pickaxe, and lightly tapped the ground beneath it. "YEAH, LIKE THAT, ONLY HARDER! MAYBE NOT SO HARD THAT WE'LL DESTROY IT, BUT IT'LL FEEL REALLY GOOD IF YOU GIVE IT A GOOD WHACK!" The virus looked at the HeelNavi for a moment, then gave the ground a much harder blow; any harder, and it'd probably have made a shock wave. But it didn't, and afterward, it happily hopped up and down. "SEE? BUT IF YOU DON'T EAT, YOU WON'T BE ABLE LET THE GROUND HAVE IT LIKE THAT, SO YOU SHOULD DO THAT AND GET YOUR ENERGY UP!" The spirit made a nod-like motion, and happily started marching forward, towards the bowls.

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Mettaur #4 stared blankly as it received the shades form Dare, then...continued to stare blankly. One could almost see the question marks coming out of its head, as it appeared utterly confused by the Navi's attempts to get it to run. In fact, it ended up doing the worst possible thing: it plopped down on the floor, and sat as it pondered just what was going on. Somehow, it didn't seem like it'd be done any time soon...

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Mettaur #5 tilted its head and looked quizzically at Ante, as she tried her darndest to mimic a Mettaur. Unlike her partner, however, she actually drew a response, as the virus spirit whihpped out its own pickaxe and started making its own motions. If one paid attention, however, it was simply copying the Navi, who was in turn copying it. It did seem to be enjoying itself, though, so she had that going for her...

...And then a flush draw made Ante a bit flush, as much of her outfit was shattered. The Mettaur froze, a bit suspicious of what happened, but when it realized that she wasn't trying to harm it by doing so, it relaxed. It actually seemed rather curious about what happened, so as she started to move, it followed, circling her as it looked over her new appearance. At least it wasn't lustful staring, so much as an interested 'what on earth is THAT?' gaze.

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The HeelNavi stood before his Mettaur for a moment, pondering exactly how to rouse the Mettaur into following him. As he thought, the sound of Ante's clothes disappearing drew his eye, only for said eye to remain fixated on her. "Whoa...nice..." The sight of his boss, however, was apparently more of a turn off than Ante's scantily clad body was a turn off, and so he returned to his original train of thought. "Meh, gawkin's no fun with the boss right there...all right, if I was a Mettaur, how would I be convinced to walk all the way over there and get some grub? ...I guess I'd have to know it was good...oh, that's it!" He suddenly raced over towards the food...he did realize it was against the rules to just retrieve the bowl himself, right? His Mettaur was watching him run, but made no movement to follow him.

CURRENT PLACE:
Lane 3: Giant HeelNavi - Happily guiding Mettaur down the lane to the food dish
Lane 5: Ante - Mettaur is following her, apparently interested in the female form
Lane 6: HeelNavi - Racing over to the food dish without his Mettaur
Lane 2: PhoenixMan - Trying not to stare at Ante, Mettaur is catching a few Z's
Lane 4: Dare - Mettaur may be the most confused virus on the planet right now
Lane 1: VultureMan - Not in his lane, Mettaur is seriously confused

Dare crossed her arms and tapped her foot, realizing a plan B was probably going to be in order. "I can't believe that didn't work... from the first moment I appeared on the Net wearing those shades, I wanted to go fast! I thought it was just a natural property, something the orange tint did... Well, I guess viruses are a different breed, and ghost viruses, even..." Frustrated, Dare half considered snatching her shades back. Not having them made her feel seriously out of her element. Obviously, however, she saw that taking things from the Mettaur probably wasn't a good way to get it pumped up or make it listen, so she decided she'd just have to deal with it.

At this point, all she could think to do was take look around to see what strategies other people were managing to pull off. She glanced over at the large HeelNavi, who seemed to have somehow or another intrigued his Mettaur into following. While this was momentarily intriguing, what was more interesting was that VultureMan was speeding by... probably heading for Ante's lane. Dare started to run interception, before realizing that even if he intended to attack someone, he'd probably attack a closer target. "I'll just have to hope Ante can handle her own defense," Dare decided, taking a glance over to see how her partner was trying to deal with her own Mettaur. Chances were, Ante would be in the middle of her own head scratcher...

"Wha..." Dare started, her jaw hanging momentarily open as she stared at her partner. What was she doing...? Going for sex appeal? There was no way! And yet, it seemed to have her Mettaur following after her with no issue. "I thought I was supposed to be the 'crazy, sexy' one in our teamup! What gives?"

Dare was halfway to undoing the first clasp of her own jacket, figuring "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" before she got to thinking again. "I don't know what Ante's up to, but clearly, there's some reason she's half naked that has nothing to do with how she got her Mettaur moving. If I put two and two together, it can only be to draw the attention of the other competitors. What I need to do is make sure everyone's got their eyes on Ante, and use her distraction to create my own opening!" As much as Dare wanted to see where Ante would do next, she turned her attention away and back to the Giant HeelNavi, who she figured was ahead in the race. Somehow, that guy was so focused on actually running the competition that he was missing the show.

"Woah, Ante! That's some pretty hot stuff you were wearing under there!" Dare called out, trying to be loud enough to get the next lane's attention. At the same time, she didn't want her own Mettaur taking interest in it, so she tried not to make any visual cues, such as turning her head in that direction. "Way to put on a show and liven up this party! You really know how to shake that tail!" Dare frowned, blushing a bit and wondering if that might be a bit much. Surely, though, her ally would appreciate the help.

In a loose sense, Ante had given Dare an idea. Thinking again about her strengths, Dare had two situations in which she shined: winning, and entertaining while doing so. She obviously wasn't getting an easy win here, as her optimal strategy had fallen apart. Therefore, she had to play to her second strength. She figured if the people in the next lanes could get a Mettaur moving on curiosity alone, so could she.

Her first thought was to start firing off chips to get it interested, but she quickly discarded that thought. She didn't know how this virus ghost had met its end, but there was a strong chance even a virus who had never encountered a Navi could be scared off by battlechips. "No, I need to find some sort of strategy that will pull on the virus's curiosity."

Dare only needed a minute more thinking before she came up with a plan. The problem might have been that the virus, somehow, didn't associate her sweet specs with moving quickly. Therefore, when the specs went on, nothing happened.

The Navi summoned a fireknife over her hand, waving it in the air experimentally. After doing so, she proceeded to make some trails in the air with it, allowing the embers to cascade around her arm. She hoped the appearance was like painting in the air, and less like randomly flailing, which was probably closer to the truth. She began laughing, as though she was really getting into it, and dancing around as she continued waving her arm.

She took a peek back, hopefully seeing that the Mettaur was curious. As she did so, however, she hid the knife in front of her, cradling in on it and hiding the glow (being a fire Navi, she wasn't really concerned about getting burned). She began walking away from the Mettaur and towards the food, now glancing down at the knife in her hand and doing her best fake laughter. All she could hope was that the Mettaur would take interest in her instead of all the other things going on around it. "What kind of baby doesn't want to be where the fun is, though?"

Dare was aware, of course, that she had to consider what to do when she got to the food... but hopefully there'd be time for that brainstorming in transit. While continuing to giggle stupidly, she also tried to keep eyes on the competition in each neighboring lane.

Ante gaped back and forth at all of the others, who in turn, gaped back at her. She clenched her teeth for a moment, then closed her mouth into a tight frown and gulped. She switched to a smile and tilted her nose up at VultureMan. "I'm simply focusing on the contest, as you should be! How pitiful, to be distracted by this inconsequential glitch of mine. Don't shame yourself during our competition," she chuckled, doing her best to seem prideful while squatting, half-naked.

"Uh... Ante, I know you hate it when I say anything that sounds even a little bit like you being old or out of shape..." Teruko started, then shrank into her shoulders as Ante glared fire back at her. "But! But look! I think your knees are shaking! Can you really walk this way all the way over to the bowl?!" her operator snapped. As a veteran of training people who were serious about fitness but not necessarily trained in getting fit correct, she knew how to identify joint strain. She didn't really think Ante was having any problems due to her physicality (her navi had a good body, as modest as she was), but she also knew that Ante didn't do a lot of leg training. Holding that position for long wouldn't be easy.

"Of course I can! My legs are just a little wobbly because I'm so emba-aaa... excited! Excited at how well my tactic is working!" she responded, giving a self-conscious glance at VultureMan behind her. "He's probably laughing at me... He doesn't understand that I'm a lady first and a fighter second! I don't have time to devote to things like muscle training or burning fat. My actions and behavior are more important than my body, even if... even if I get flabby... anywhere," she thought to herself, staring down at her exposed belly, which was too lean if anything. Her eyes darted over to PhoenixMan, then back to herself. She tried to focus on the path ahead of her, which seemed to be growing longer and longer with every step she took forward. "Even he's embarrassed for me... Embarrassed at my pedestrian body, unsuited for a warrior or a princess..."

"... I sense that you're thinking some really annoying thoughts right now, Ante," Teruko murmured, understanding that Ante was not thinking straight but aggravated, as usual, that her navi took her eternally slender figure for granted. "But get your head back in the game! You can still move in a way that's sexy without straining your knees with a squat! Try something else!" she urged her navi. She was half and half worried that if Ante kept this up, Bruce was going to lose interest in the date.

"I'm not trying to be sexy... and I'm certainly not shaking my tail," she replied, glaring over at Dare. Her partner appeared to be using her usual flash and pizzazz to lure the virus in... The fact that it wasn't working so far could speak volumes to the desensitization of the Net-age's youth, or it could simply be that the virus was sleepy. Still, heading her operator's advice, she pondered a way to stay low enough for the virus to keep up with her, without having to continue the awkward squat-walk. She moved the staff so that it rested horizontally beneath her breasts, then pressed down both arms over it and laid her palms upon the ground. She dropped her lower body down onto its knees, then continued crawling towards the goal; chips continued to fall from her ruined outfit, creating a path behind her. "That's a good virus... Keep thinking of me as mommy," she urged him. "There, that's much easier and not nearly so sexually charged."

Teruko didn't say anything, but the way her navi's breasts were pushed together, her hips swaying with each crawl forward, basically turning her ass up to VultureMan to get as much of a view as he wanted... That was far from "not so sexually charged."


Thankfully, her outfit was at least holding strong at this level. She had never gotten this low before, so she really wasn't sure what to expect in terms of durability. Fate couldn't be so cruel as to do much more than this to her, though... Despite only have squatted and crawled a little, she felt like she'd put in enough work at this point that she'd be genuinely upset if she didn't place fairly high in this contest. "VultureMan, might I ask that you return to your own lane? I don't want you scaring my charge with your heinous flapping," she murmured, frowning with her eyebrows sternly set. In terms of the contest, it was actually better if he hung around here, but she was having a hard time dealing with being oggled.

"Oh, the HeelNavis have this contest as good as wrapped up. I'm not the one that has to worry about it!" For the entire explanation, at no point did VultureMan's eyes leave a portion of Ante's body below the neck. He was clearly enjoying this in more than one way. And Ante's change in position only caused him to focus his leering to her shapely behind. Seemed like he was pretty into that. Her request, surprisingly, did not fall on deaf ears...though all he did was land with a lot more grace than one would expect for a Navi modeled on a bird not known for its elegance. And not once did he look away. He wasn't going to get DQ'd, but it was also painfully obvious that he was more interested in Ante than his own Mettaur, who remained back at the starting line, staring at him staring at her. He wasn't going anywhere.

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PhoenixMan managed to refocus on his Mettaur, and not the scantily clad Navi his rival was staring at. ...Or at least he would've, but Dare's shouting snapped him out of it, and made him look at the other fiery Navi. At first, it was just a waste of time, but seeing the FireKnife's embers gave him an idea. He hopped up, and flew about his charge...and proceeded to do nothing. As he did so, though, his wings began producing embers of their own, which began to float down to the Mettaur. It seemed rather odd that he'd try to befriend it by burning it...but not long before they would've hit, they faded into bits of ash, and landed on the virus ghost. It quickly woke up and looked around, and when it realized it wasn't getting hurt at all, looked up at the Navi, who waved back at it. "Feels pretty good, doesn't it? Don't worry, my fire doesn't just burn. It also has restorative properties when used properly, like just now. How do you like my Revival Ash?" The Mettaur let out a small sneeze, but it looked pretty happy for something that just got showered by flamed out dust. "Feels good, doesn't it? So, if you don't think I'm a threat, how about we head over there?" He motioned to the food over there, and quickly thought of a way to seal the deal. "I'll fly above you the whole time, so you'll feel better and better the entire time. How's that sound?" The virus nodded, and so with that, another Navi/Mettaur pairing was off to the food.

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The giant HeelNavi was having little problem getting his Mettaur to continue following him, though Dare's shouting, unsurprisingly enough, made him look over at Ante. "YIKES! I BET HER FACE IS SOLID RED!" ...And then, without any gawking, he turned and continued to lead his virus ghost to the food. In fact, they managed to reach it without any further incident. "ALL RIGHT, EAT UP, LITTLE GUY!" It happily started chowing down; apparently, despite looking like ground up BugFrags and dog food, it tasted pretty good for it to be eating it up like that.

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Dare's Mettaur continued staring blankly at her, as her shouting did nothing to allay its confusion. Her FireKnife antics were about as effective; if anything, having a weaponized flame on her was making it a little more wary of her. At least it wasn't just hiding under its helmet, though, which meant there was still a small chance she could turn all this around.

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Ante's Mettaur watched her intently as she switched positions. Fortunately, the position alone wasn't what was making it follow her, and it continued doing what it had been doing as she moved along. She was actually making better time than one would've expected, and managed to reach the food without any further problems. Now, the question was, how was she going to get the Mettaur to eat?

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Upon reaching the food dish, the regular sized HeelNavi bent over it for a moment. It was a bit hard to tell what he was doing, but it was only for a moment, and he rushed back to his Mettaur. "Here's a taste of what's over there! If you like it, there's a whole bowl with your name on it!" He kneeled over and presented the virus ghost with the purpose for running to and from the food; a couple of pieces. It looked over it carefully, then (somehow) ate it off his hand. After a moment, it happily jumped in the air, apparently really liking what it tasted. "Heh, now I'm kinda wondering what that stuff tastes like...c'mon, there's lots more over there!" That was all the convincing the Mettaur needed, and happily started to race over to work out its non-existent mouth.

The Navi, however, was a bit distracted, as Dare's shouting made him look over, to see Ante's pose switch. "...Whoa...gah!" Not paying attention, he tripped over his own Mettaur, causing him to land face first in front of it (thankfully not actually landing ON it). It poked him with its pickaxe, but after not getting an immediate response, went around him, and resumed its quest for delicious food. The HeelNavi was twitching in his arms and legs, but otherwise continued to make no movement...

CURRENT PLACE:
Lane 3: Giant HeelNavi - Mettaur is currently eating the food
Lane 5: Ante - Mettaur is at the food, but not immediately eating
Lane 6: HeelNavi - Mettaur is running straight at the food; HeelNavi...isn't
Lane 2: PhoenixMan - Slowly but surely making progress towards the food with his Mettaur
Lane 4: Dare - Mettaur is getting a little intimidated of her FireKnife waving
Lane 1: VultureMan - Too busy staring at Ante's ass to care about the event anymore

Ante was pleased that her strategy had continued to work, despite the need to improvise. This was almost enough to offset the troublesome factor of VultureMan's voyeurism, although, to be fair, he had at least gone along with her request to cut the noise. "Thank you," she responded in spite of herself; she honestly wasn't particularly thankful, per se, but it would be impolite not to acknowledge that he'd made that effort. On the downside, he did have a point about the contest: even though one heelnavi was bumbling, his Mettaur was proceeding forward in spite of that... and both of the two heelnavis were a little further along than her allies, currently. Dare would be in serious trouble if she didn't manage to find a suitable way to get the navi to follow. The creature didn't seem interested in any of the pulse-pounding stuff that Dare was selling (possibly because pulse pounding, for Mettaurs, usually meant being deleted), which put a significant damper on their chances at winning the race. If Dare couldn't make any progress, she was as good as VultureMan in this race, and she wasn't even getting a free show out of it like he was.

All of these mental processes kept her mind off of her half-nudity, which should, perhaps, be a more pressing concern for her than the contest...



She'd get to keep her mind off of it for a little while longer, at least. But since she was ahead in her game, she figured there had to be a way to help out Dare. She knew one way, but she also knew Dare wouldn't like it... "You're thinking 'that,' right, Princess?" the Black Queen questioned inside Ante's head. "I don't blame you. I was thinking about it myself." Ante would have denied thinking about it, but unfortunately, she knew that the Queen could read her mind, so the question was rhetorical. The truth was, there was only one surefire, tested way to get the navi to follow (that she knew of, since she hadn't been paying enough attention to the other lanes). "Miss Dare! At this point, I suggest you fall back to the proven option. You must take off your clothes, quickly, so that the Mettaur will follow you!" she shouted out. She half and half thought this would be fruitless... she figured the last thing Dare was going to do was copy someone else's routine and be ordered around. On the other hand, she knew Dare liked winning, and with three of their team in the race, they'd have a significant advantage over the other team, which was only going to get two Mettaurs mobile and fed at most.

Teruko, on the other side of the glass, turned to Bruce and began shaking his arm. "She's right! Dare needs to take off her clothes! Strip, strip, strip!" she chanted enthusiastically, pumping her fists. "Let's all chant together! Strip! Strip! Strip!"

Unfortunately, Ante couldn't quite bring herself to do that... But she felt a little bit better, now that she'd at least laid the thought on the table. Ante wouldn't think any worse of her partner for taking off her clothes or copying. After all, they'd taken this mission to help out PhoenixMan and get rewarded; pride was a secondary objective. She kept that last point in mind as she prepared to feed her Mettaur with the one thing that the virus seemed to be interested in: her body. If it had worked to get Mr. Gold excited for his meal back at the dome where she and Ante had entertained the crowd with a cooking contest, it might work to get the Mettaur interested as well. Unfortunately, the part of her body it was watching...

"Oh goodness," the Black Queen interrupted, sounding shocked in an old biddy way. "My, my."

"Quiet, please," Ante urged her internally, feeling that her mental companion's sighs of awe were not particularly calming her down. Still, she'd just told Dare to lay it all on the table; she couldn't back down now. Her first thought was to take the food and slather it across, as she had during that contest, but she quickly realized that such theatrics and debasement were not necessary (or possible) here. After all, the food was solid... spreading it with her hand would just be ineffective, based on the curve of the surface. Instead, she dropped her body flat to the ground to allow the Mettaur to reach and spread her legs as well as she could from that position, then quickly placed the bowl of food between them, since her understanding was that the buttocks were what the Mettaur was following. If he kept his eyes in the same place, he'd now see food... She was thankful for the bowl, now, as having whatever-orifice-a-Mettaur-eats-out-of chowing down on that particular area would be a sensational event that would more or less bar her from ever claiming to be a noble again. "There you go... Please, eat up, and then we can head back and put this all to bed," she murmured quietly, although the way she said it implied she was clearly more ready for this to be over than she was worried about the Mettaur missing its after-meal nap.

"Ha ha ha! Wow, I'm going to take some snapshots with the PET! Stay still like that," Teruko laughed in spite of her navi's feelings. She felt bad for Ante, but, well, she was a natural tease. Photos would undoubtedly provide years of entirely good-natured amusement for the two of them. "If you set it up like that, you might need to worry about VultureMan moving in and stealing your Mettaur food. Or Bruce," she joked. "You're almost making me want to try to go in there and get it! Uh, not really, I'm just joking... Besides, I don't even know if it's vegan..." the operator mused. "Ante, you'd better not be feeding your baby virus any of that protein-junkie stuff!"

Ante took the joke-threat seriously and turned her head over her shoulder, glaring at VultureMan. "Mind your distance, please," she half-requested, half-warned, unaware of all of the pent-up aggression she was feeling. That aggression was better turned on the one who inflicted her with her distinctive glitch, of course, but a nasty voyeur would also be a suitable target, seeing as the responsible party wasn't around at the moment.

Dare turned away her face to try and hide her disappointment that she seemed to be the only one who still hadn't gotten their Mettaur moving (the only one who was trying to and hadn't, anyway). "Well, I've been on a pretty big winning streak lately, haven't I? Nobody has all the luck... No! That isn't the thought process of a winner. No excuses! What stops haven't I pulled out? Which foot's still on the brakes...?"

It sounded like Ante had advice for her, but Dare just couldn't buy it. Although Ante's results seemed to speak for themselves, she couldn't believe that was the "only" way to win, because three out of five competitors seemed to be moving Mettaurs with ordinary methods of persuasion. Surely, Ante must realize this as well... and unlike herself, she believed, Ante didn't project such a totally kick*ss image that she couldn't crank it down and connect with a child virus ghost. VultureMan had already let Ante know that her plan wouldn't work as a successful distraction, because the two HeelNavis were doing his legwork for him. VultureMan seemed to have only one leg in mind that he intended to work for this event. So why was Ante still going forward with this approach, and even trying to get her to participate...?

Dare's eyes suddenly flashed as realization hit her. "Ante's having a semi-successful strategy, so she wants me to compete with her! She really only had one eye on the prize of the minor contest," Dare thought, having suddenly deemed the competition of the two bird Navis the "minor contest." "All along, she's been inviting me to compete while still attempting to participate! And like a fool, I've been so focused on my own tunnel-vision that I only saw the obvious contest in front of me. It looks like I still have a lot to learn," she decided, crossing her arms and acknowledging the sage advice of her ally who was now lying with her legs splayed behind her, clad only in her underwear, in an attempt to get her Metool to eat the food from the space between.

"Strip! Strip! Strip!" Bruce shouted, having gotten pulled into the gravity of the other two's chants. "You aren't going to let a few pieces of clothing and a sense of dignity keep you at the back of the line, are you?!"

"Okay, geez!" Dare shouted back in frustration. "I was already going to do it, anyway. I'm already half naked without my shades, anyway. Just keep in mind, I'm not doing this for you! I'm doing this for Ante." The Navi let out a small sigh, dismissing her Fireknife as she quickly undid and whipped off her belt. Dropping the belt onto the floor of the Net and tightening her lips into an expression of focus, Dare quickly undid the center buckles of her jacket, temporarily allowing it to hang open in the middle. The Navi took a moment to look around at the other competitors while unstrapping and pulling off her gloves, one after the other. She stood thinking for a moment before suddenly thrusting her hands under the jacket, crossing each to the other shoulder while moving the jacket off of her breasts as little as possible. Carefully, the Navi slid down the shoulders of her Navi suit, allowing it to fall so it clung around the breadth of her hips. To preserve what modesty she could, Dare then redid the clasps on her jacket. If it flew open without her Navisuit on, the judges really were going to be in for a treat.

"We've had the pre-show... how about we move on to the main event?" Dare spoke, perhaps to the Mettaur, perhaps to no one in particular. The Navi set her legs wide and placed a hand on either knee, glancing behind her as she began to shake her hips, first slowly but rapidly quickening the pace. Since there was no actual music playing, she had to keep the rhythm to some sort of beat timed in her head. In an attempt to match this, she made gradual variations in the undulation of her hips and bend of her knees. "Huh... I'm pretty decent at this, considering I've only practiced it once." Dare'd seen this before in Bruce's personal folder, and she'd thankfully filed it away as a skill that might be useful or at least fun to have in the future.

Eventually, the motion allowed her suit to slide down enough that the black hem of her panties became visible. Past that first hurdle, the remaining slide came quickly. The lower half of her suit was still in place from the thighs down, but the remainder was pooled haphazardly over the tail pipes of her boots. Her pitch-black underwear was on full display. It wasn't a particularly flashy piece, which Dare regretted. "Maybe give a girl a bit of notice next time when we're going to be competing on these strengths, Ante?" While conservative, it was at least pleasantly form-fitting, hugging the rear curves of the Navi tightly.

In a final appeal to get the attention of her target and of any gentlemen who may be watching, Dare stood a bit taller and ran her hands slowly up her backside, releasing both cheeks and allowing them to jiggle. That was a motion kids were interested in, right?

Hoping that the Mettaur had finally taken interest, the Navi began to sashay towards the food bowl, trying to put as much shake in her step as possible while also trying to avoid tripping over her own gear. "Just gotta remember... I'm doing this for Ante." Suddenly stricken with the rather embarrassing thought that she was stripping and dancing for another woman (her fated rival, no less), Dare frowned and shook her head. "I mean, I'm doing this for the judges! Er, the baby Mettaurs! No... for myself!" the Navi decided, finally arriving on a beneficiary of her actions that didn't sound wrong.

Bruce had been watching at first, but as much as he wanted to continue, he'd turned his head partway through. He had joined in on the fun of the chant, but he had a feeling that if he got caught spending time ogling here, he may be trading away a significant portion of future lay. "You show 'em, Dare! Although... I really have no idea what this has to do with putting baby ghost viruses to sleep anymore..."

Aside from a sneer, VultureMan didn't move a muscle at Ante's warning. Well, aside from the ones that moved his eyes, since he did follow her half-nakedness to the floor. After all, while he wouldn't mind a closer look, getting DQ'd meant he'd have to clear the area, and that was unacceptable. Not when he got to look at...well, that. It was just too risky, especially when he already had the keen eyesight of a bird.

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It wasn't the fastest way to lead the Mettaur to food, but PhoenixMan's ash did seem to be luring the virus to the food. And as promised, not once did he stop producing it. Sure, they occasionally had to stop due to sneezing, but he was making forward progress, and that was the most important thing to him.

"Well, here were are. Feeling hungry?" The kinder of the bird Navis landed behind the bowl, gently motioning down at it. "Don't worry, I made sure we got some pretty decent stuff for you guys, so it should taste pretty good." The Mettaur looked at him, then the food, and appears to take a nibble. It nodded approvingly, and began to chow down. It wasn't exactly gorging itself, but it was quite a healthy pace.

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"WOW, LOOK AT YOU GO!" The giant HeelNavi was actually pretty surprised that his Mettaur was utterly demolishing the bowl. "MAYBE YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN, OR YOU'LL GET A BELLYACHE!" The virus ghost looked at him, then appeared to follow the advice, eating more slowly...a little bit, anyway. "YOU DON'T WANT A BELLYACHE...TRUST ME ON THAT ONE! I GOT ONE JUST THE OTHER DAY, AND IT WAS AWFUL! I COULD BARELY EVEN WALK FOR A GOOD 30 MINUTES!"

Before long, the Mettaur stepped away from the bowl, looking extremely content. There was barely a trace left in the bowl...it was safe to say that counted as being eaten. "NICE JOB! NOW, LET'S GO BACK TO WHERE WE WERE...BUT DON'T WORRY, WE'LL HIT SOME PANELS ALONG THE WAY!" The enormous purple Navi walked past the summoned entity, before reaching down and punching the ground. "TAKE THAT! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TRIPPING UP EVERYTHING THAT CAN'T FLY!" Following suit, the spirit walked over, and whacked the next panel over with its pickaxe. And again. And a third time, for good measure. "HEY, NICE COMBO! THAT'LL SHOW THE GROUND WHO'S BOSS!" The two continued along, continually stopping to attack poor defenseless panels. Though while it was slowing their progress, the Mettaur was happy as a clam...and so was the HeelNavi, for that matter. He was really enjoying this.

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It took a while, but Dare's latest attempts to draw attention from her Mettaur finally seemed to have some success, albeit in a 'what in the cyberworld is that Navi doing?' kind of way. It waddled forward, following the fiery competitor as she headed towards the bowl. It might be looking funny at her, but she was making progress, and that was more than she could say prior to it.

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Ante's...presence near the bowl, oddly enough, seemed to have the opposite of the desired effect, as it seemed to make her Mettaur a little nervous. It still went in and started eating, since it was seeing the others enjoying the food, but it would start and stop, then look at the Navi, before repeating the process.

At least since the food was good, it was eating at a reasonable pace. It'd be done soon, so Ante could probably start pondering how to get it back to the starting point.

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Dare's stripping did absolutely nothing to help the regular HeelNavi's situation, as after getting himself up, he just stood there, and soaked in the sights. He seemed to focusing more on Dare; looking at Ante meant his boss was in view, and that was just awkward. His Mettaur, at least, was getting things done, as it dove headlong into the food, and began to turn it into a distant memory. It devoured it so fast, that it actually managed to pass Ante's Mettaur in the standings, and finished. It rolled onto its back and burped, looking quite satisfied. Its caretaker, however, paid no heed, fully focused on Dare's show.


CURRENT PLACE:
Lane 3: Giant HeelNavi - Mettaur finished eating, and is slowly making its way back
Lane 6: HeelNavi - Mettaur is all done with the food; HeelNavi probably doesn't even remember the contest
Lane 5: Ante - Mettaur is nearly done eating
Lane 2: PhoenixMan - Reached the food; Mettaur is eating
Lane 4: Dare - Mettaur is finally following her, though in a 'wtf?' context
Lane 1: VultureMan - Still too busy staring at Ante to bother with the event