I don't know what to say after all of that... But allow me to give you all a peer into the world of Normal Guy. I will prove the excellence of super competency!
"Well hey there Timmy! What're you up to there?"
"Oh, hi Normal Guy. I've just been working on my college homework. It's taken me all night and I still can't get this thing settled the way I want it. And my name's John."
"That's nice Timmy. But my goodness, would you look at that! I remember that assignment. Quite the doozy there. Took me an hour to get it done. Phew, that was some tough work!"
"...Normal Guy, am I... well, dumb?"
"Ahahahahaha. Hah. Haha. Ahh, Timmy. Yes."
Normal Guy!
"Argh! Damn thing! Work already!"
"Well hello there citizen! What seems to be the trouble?"
"Shut up Rob, I know it's you. For chirst sakes, you're my next door neighbor! I don't need your help, just go back home and leave me alone!"
"Looks like you're having a bit of car trouble! I think I see the problem, it's..."
"No! Just shut up! I'll figure it out myself, damn it! Can't a man work in peace? Go, get off my lawn or I'm calling the cops!"
"Well citizen, if you truly feel yourself capable, I'll leave replacing that bad spark plug in your capable hands. However, you should know that while you've been working out here, struggling with your car troubles, your wife has been cheating on you with the hired hand."
"Edwardo?! I knew there was something fishy about a gardener hanging around the house for days on end! How could I not have seen it!"
"Glad to see you've got things straight! Well, I bid you good day. I'll just take my awesome new car and find the next needy citizen! Normal Guy away!"
"Damn you Edwardo! Damn you Normal Guy! Damn you needy car! Damn you all!"
Normal Guy!
"Help! Someone, please help!"
"Yes, what seems to be the problem?"
"My husband fell off the bridge! Oh my god, just look over there, he's hanging on to that rock there! Oh please, can't you do something? Anything?"
"Hold on ma'am. I'll handle this!"
"...What are you doing?"
"I'm calling 911, what's it look like I'm doing? I'm not going down there, what're you nuts? That looks dangerous! I mean, look at those rapids! I'm surprised he hasn't, wait, hold on, yes, operator, I need you to dispatch a rescue crew to..."
"No! Marvin! No!"
"...Umm... Yeah. Actually, I think... Umm... Crank call, bye! Normal Guy away!"
Normal Guy!