Step on up!

- Is this the place?

Valkyrie skimmed over the area for any sign of activity. She was new to Netopia, and the network was much different in its design the ones she had so far visited. The mission sounded simple enough though; beat someone up, then retrieve the ill gotten goods. Okay, so the last simple mission somehow ended with blowing up a hospital, but that's just semantics.

- Well, this is where the link lead. I expect things will start to get... groovy soon enough.

- What the hell does that even MEAN?
Valkyrie finds... nothing?

There's nothing here. At all.

Hell, it's so empty, there's even a tumbleweed blowing by!

Wait, what?

Tumbleweed?: ???

Valkyrie: 120
-All I see is some... plant ball thing? Is that "groovy"?
- I think the official term is "tumbleweed". And no, I don't think so. Maybe you could... poke it or something.
-"Poke" poke it, or "Smite it with the fury of the gods" poke it?
- I'd pick the one that doesn't involve breaking things... if it's all the same to you.

So Valkyrie stepped closer and... poked. With the tip of the lance. Still, it was quite friendly, as far as pokes with the tip of the lance from her go.
On closer inspection, that does not seem to be a tumbleweed.

It seems to be a giant ball of black, curly hair, with a pair of shoes sticking out of it. An afro...?

Abruptly the afro flips over, landing on its' shoes, and a pair of sunglasses materializes on the front, shining.

Then it starts dancing. At least, if you can call that weird wiggling about dancing... The area darkens as the afro twirls and bounces about, and all the panels start to alternate between a rainbow of colors. Weird, almost ancient music begins to play in the area, and a couple of the afro's 'friends' pop out and begin to dance as well... First is a Bomb Boy, which starts breakdancing on top of one of its' patented bombs, the fuse unlit.

It's followed by a pair of Handies, twirling around skillfully on their fingers, and for the big finish is a pair of Swordy-Ns that clash their swords in a twirling dance tuned to the beat.

Somewhere in the process a large, shining disco ball lowers from somewhere overhead and begins to spin, shining light everywhere...

Boogie A: 200
Bomb Boy: 80
Handy A: 80
Handy B: 80
Swordy-N A: 60
Swordy-N B: 60

Disco Ball: 150 (Hanging overhead and spinning.)

Valkyrie: 120

Terrain: 100% Disco (Attacks deal 30 damage more if used while dancing)
-Let me guess. This is...
-Yes, it's... sufficiently groovy. I'd go so far to call it funky, even.
-How delightful.

Valkyrie surveyed the dan-... enemies. The Handys and the Swordys were in pair, while the Bomb Boy and... whatever this species of virus was were forming another group on the dance floo-... battlefield.

Her gaze wandered on that shiny ball thing. It had drawn her attention, and it seemed to serve no other purpose than that, really. But both that and these flashing tiles were grating on her nerves, though the intended effects were probably to make her feel... groovy.

Well, it was true that resisting tapping with her feet and snapping her fingers would have been hard for some other navi. Maybe some more... pacifist types would have even tried to talk it over, ask for the data back, that kind of thing. Valkyrie had long since learned that it's more efficient to beat stuff first then collect what they drop later. No need to waste time on silly things like questions... not when she could have fun instead.

Speaking of which, it was about time to lay waste to this merry group.

First off, she decided to turn up the heat. Then she realized that her thoughts are getting affected by the funk, because she'd have never made that pun normally. Regardless, it was time to see if hairballs were inflammable.

As Valkyrie channeled the Heatshot into her weapon, the tip of the lance lit up. The glow intensified and a small dancing flame popped into being. She pulled her lance back (the flame shed light on her face shaded by her helmet for a moment, mixing a bit more red into the rainbow colors of the epileptic spazzing disco panels), then stabbed forward with it, shooting out like a piston. The tip of the lance stopped, however the flames did not, and were sent flying in the direction of the Boogie, passing by the Boy and his Bomb.

Her curiosity sated for now, she decided on a more personal approach to deal with the sword-dancers. That was, obviously, to join in on their "dance", and show'em how it's done with her smooth moves. She also took mental note of the disco influence growing, but the plan was to her liking anyway.

With a bit of concentration, she tore some of the dams that kept her power in check down. She could feel it escaping along her pores, and she could also feel it get collected into steams that were expelled at the joints of her armor.

Her movement was kind of twitchy, true... but it was also very fast, especially the first burst that propelled her almost instantly next to the two virii. She had to stop by doing a spin (her armored boots scraping the ground and throwing sparks everywhere), but that was alright; she had a sword in hand by then anyway, and could do a wide sweeping motion to cut one Swordy down, which was then followed by a quick lunge at the other.

Valkyrie still had some juice left, so stopping was pretty much out of the question. She darted to the Handys... but then decided to go for the hairball instead, taking a sharp turn mid charge. Several bad puns about crashing parties flashed past her mind, but she sticked to the good old warcry instead, and let out a bone chilling shriek to notify the leader of the group that he is about to receive an invitation to... dance with her.


1. Heatshot (40 Fire dmg) to Boogie, lit Bomb Boy's fuse?
2. Ride of Valkyrie (Haste for 2 turns, teleport) to SwordyA&B
3. Sword(80) SwordyA
4. Sword(80) SwordyB
5. Dodge/move in Boogie's direction.
+ Chooser of Slain(stun) Boogie
+ Freya's bless (10hp heal, if needed)

((note: also got a Firstbarrier on))
Valkyrie opens up with a Heatshot, nailing the Boogie straight in the shades. Apparently they ARE flammable, as the thing catches ablaze-- then puts itself out with a (groovy) pirou-jivin-ette, man. The spread that would alight the bomb's fuse, however, is snuffed out by the BombBoy, in a moment of being totally out-of-period, pulling a breakdancer-style headspin on top of his bomb-block.

Oh well, disco is freeeeee, man.

Valk hips herself up on some smooth speed, and jives on over to the duel-dancers. She cleaves the first like a cool cat, but the second pulls her into its' dance, twirling her sword along with its' own.

But Valk ain't havin' that kind of action, she ain't down for that, ya dig? She beats feet and makes a retreat back towards the boogie brotha.

Boogie bro himself decides that Valk could use a little more funk in her life, so he jives it on and hits her up with that most groovy of implements, that most righteous of righters-- the afro pick. The attack bounces off her shiny shield, but the effect don't-- Valk's holy helm pops off her jive head, leavin' her hair in a far more funkified state of being, ya dig?

Valk don't dig that, though, and shrieks the hell out, scarin' our main man. That ain't cool.

The twirlin' Handies don't like that noise, though, so they both slap a hot present down for Valk. 2 turns, man, two spins of the earth!

Boogie A: 160 (Stun x1)
Bomb Boy: 80
Handy A: 80
Handy B: 80
Swordy-N B: 60

Disco Ball: 150 (Hanging overhead and spinning.)

Near Handy viruses:
TimeBomb A: 100 (2 turns)
TimeBomb B: 100 (2 turns)

Valkyrie: 120 (Afro'd) (Haste)

Terrain: 100% Disco (Attacks deal 30 damage more if used while dancing)
The winged helm hit the ground with a clang, as Valkyrie suddenly popped a funky afro... that she doesn't notice, on account of not being able to see her own head. Sieg, however did, and had to fight to hold down a chortle.

Still, she asked him for a dance, and he crapped his sorry pants. Seems like when shit hits the fan, he's suddenly not so much of a man. Maybe he shouldn't wear that flashy hair if he haven't got the flair... She could take a notch off the top, then maybe split it in the middle on the spot.

Valkyrie brought the sword from side to side, trying to cut up the virus from left to right. She twirled around and followed up with an overhead slash, brimming with the intent to end the virii's life in a flash.

The Bomb Boy didn't feel the heat of the last shot, and was acting like he's all hot. Taking a spin in the middle of a fight? That boy ain't going to survive the night. She dashed there hyped by the Ride, holding her holy sword tight, aiming to stab the Boy in the head. She lunged forward with the blade speeding toward the unfortunate foe, about to to deliver a final blow to the virus that used his last chance to try do with some dance.

She noticed that one Swordy was alive and well, and decided that he is the next one her blade will quell. With a single step and a fearful cry, she closed distance to swat that annoying fly. She may had missed once already, but now her aim was a lot more steady, and with a murderous smile she slashed one last time for a while.

Valkyrie noticed she was on a roll, and although this would later take it's toll, she wondered if it'd be nice to encase the two Hands in ice? With a howl that gave brave men the shrill, she summoned the two of unearthly chill. Geri and Freki like unleashed beasts, jumped quickly at the Handy feast. With claws and fangs of sub zero cold, all they wanted was just to take a hold...

1. Sword(80) Boogie
2. Sword(80) Boogie
3. Dodge/move to Bomb Boy
4. Sword(80) Bomb Boy
+ Chooser of Slain(stun) SwordyB
5. Sword(80) SwordyB
+ Afterburner
6. Nifleheim's wrath at HandyA&B
+ Freya's bless (10hp heal, if needed)

Status: Haste (1 turn), Slow (2 turns)
Valk cuts a little off the top of the stunned Boogie, then cleaves it clean in half with a mighty swing. She then grooves and jives on over to the Bomb Boy, then slices at him as he cuts the rug, so to speak, lighting the fuse on his bomb with a shoe as he dies-- but Valk just cuts that up too.

Valk charges at the lone Swordy remaining for her next trick, stunning it mid-twirl as she goes... With a aggrandized stroke of her sword, Valk then stabs the offending virus with her sword, deleting it in one strike. Then Valk calls some chill dog brothas to come cool this hot scene down, ya dig? One Handy freezes solid, chillin' out completely, while the other has his mad moves locked down.

Handy A: 80 (Frozen)
Handy B: 80 (Held)
Swordy-N B: 'BOBBED

Disco Ball: 150 (Hanging overhead and spinning.)

Near Handy viruses:
TimeBomb A: 100 (NEXT TURN)
TimeBomb B: 100 (NEXT TURN)

Valkyrie: 120 (Afro'd) (Slow: 2 turns left)

Terrain: 90% Disco (Attacks deal 30 damage more if used while dancing) 10% Ice (5% under each Handy)
-Now I'll just finish these two and, we can jive our merry way...
-Wait! Aren't you forgetting something... [size0]besides the hair I mean...[/size]

The counters on the two time bombs flipped over to 1 with a canonical pair of ticks.

-Right, my groovy helmet. Left it somewhere back here...
-I guess getting blown up does not register as a threat?[size0]... did you just say groovy?[/size]
- Chill, got it covered. Damn helmet won't fit... I do kinda like the feel of my hair being fr...
-I've got an afro, haven't I?
- A rather funky one, yes.
- Could be worse then.

Valkyrie prepared to dismantle the bombs. She knew there were wires to cut, but they weren't immediately apparent. The decision to remove the number plate was self evident, as well as the method. Her sword got replaced by her standard lance... except it was twisted, the edge spiraling down its full length. Valkyrie slowly walked closer (her muscles sore from the strain summoning the wolves put on her) to the explosives, the weapon also starting to rev up in the mean time. After carefully taking aim, she lashed out trying to impale both with a single stab of the now quickly spinning drill-lance. Valkyrie held the lance in place for a while, until whatever powered the drill ran out of juice, the whir turning into a satisfying purr before finally dying down.

Surveying her work, Valkyrie found that the amount of cables cut were satisfactory and the red one should be among them. She pulled the lance back, which straightened out and lost it's digging-tool like qualities. She did note the second bomb still blinking, and decided to get rid of the leftovers with a blast from a shotgun. Although she'd never use something as... unceremonial as a gun against a foe, it still beats the regular method of cleaning up. After dismissing the boomstick, her lance got charged with some electricity from a zapring chip. It discharged in the form of a small ball lightning, that Valkyrie hurled, after spinning her lance once, at the Handy frozen to the ground. She turned to the other one, resting the still steaming weapon on her shoulders. The lack of eyes makes staring a Handy down rather hard, but she gave it a try nonetheless. It's not like just because it doesn't have a humanoid physiology it can't get it's heart gripped by the gaze.

1. Move to align with bombs
2. Drillarm1(60x2) to TimeBombA, (60) to TimeBombB
3. Shotgun(50+spread) to TimeBombB, HandyB
4. Zapring (30 Elec+stun) to HandyB
+ Chooser of Slain (stun) to HandyA
Valk decides to drill the Timebombs on how best to die to a large, serrated rotary weapon, then punctuates things with a shotgun blast-- the splash of which smacks into the still-held Handy, who throws down a bomb immediately before meeting a shocking end.

As the second Handy comes out of its' complete lack of heat, Valk glares daggers at it, stunning it with her sheer force of will.

Handy A: 80 (stun)
Swordy-N B: 'BOBBED

Disco Ball: 150 (Hanging overhead and spinning.)

Near Handy viruses:
TimeBomb A: BAZOOM
TimeBomb B: BAZAM
TimeBomb C: 2 turns remaining!

Valkyrie: 120 (Afro'd) (Slow: 1 turns left)

Terrain: 90% Disco (Attacks deal 30 damage more if used while dancing) 10% Ice (5% under each Handy)
Valkyrie stepped to the last handy, raising the lance above her head. On one hand, there's always a kind of melancholic feeling when a battle ends on such a low note. On the other, this wasn't a particularly fun one for her anyway.

She gathered strength for a few moments, watching the handy, paralyzed, awaiting its fate. It's no fun when they are so helpless... The weapon lit up, burning light blazing along from the handle to the tip. It trailed flames as it was swung, arcing from overhead as it came smashing down.

Valkyrie wondered if her hair is going to stay like this. Lumping the helmet around would be kind of awkward.

- Hey uh... could you hold this for me?
-Hmm... lemme see... yes I could.

As Sieg finished whatever he was doing, the helmet disappeared as if it just got beamed up by Scotty. With her headgear gone, Valk decided to continue on her way, which was conveniently in the direction away from the time bomb.


1. Charge
2. Charge
3. Charge attack (200 Fire+ Impact) HandyA
4. walk away
5. walk some more
Valkyrie blasts the last virus of the lot-- which, rather than dropping a reward as per the norm... explodes into a shower of data, much of which gravitates towards the remains of the Boogie virus she had slain. The broken, disjointed data begins to swirl lazily about in the air, forming a vertically-oriented spiral...

The spiral begins to glow, dimly at first, but then stronger, as Valkyrie looks at it.

She can see Sharo through it...


Rewards: 750z, Portal(?) to Sharo
-That's my cue, isn't it?
- Well, you can wait 'til the bomb explodes, or some miracle gives us the stolen data we came here for.

Valkyrie hesitated. On one hand, she wanted to enter the portal just when the bomb exploded, so the fiery shockwave would send her flying through. On the other hand, that's rather silly. Looking around one last time at the lonely Disco Ball and the colorful dance floor, she sighed and stepped through the portal to Sharo.
As Valkyrie steps through the portal, light and sound assail her senses. She finds herself flying through a torrent of patterns, colors, and sounds, all in motion, all alive with their own energy. Time and dimension quickly fall away, leaving Valkyrie confused as to not only which way is up, but if 'up' even exists as a concept. The twisting, turning, swirling, chopping, shifting, coagulating, dispersing, changing colors are everywhere around her as she flies through the netspace...

...And then finds herself standing in Sharo, with the bitter cold and frigid digital winds beating at her armor and skin. Her afro has somehow grown a pick, as well.

Valkyrie sees lights a little ways ahead.
-Well that was... dazzling.
-Feeling at home, aren't you?
- I must say, this place is to my liking. A bit boring though...
- My tingling netop senses tell me that inspecting that direction the light comes from should lead to something you can beat up.
- Awwww, you always know how to cheer me up.

And with that, she started walking towards the light.
Valkyrie continues walking forward, footsteps making a loud crunch every time her boots crush the snow underfoot, and finds herself facing-- a snowman.

Literally, the only thing here (Besides smaller snowballs of varying sizes) is a large, three-snowball snowman. As Valkyrie inspects it from afar, the thing springs to life, and three of the afro-wielding Boogie viruses break out of it; one from each snowball. Meanwhile, the tattered, frozen data from the now-broken snowman scatters about and turns to ice.

Boogie: 200
Boogia: 250
Big Boogie: 400

--------Valkyrie: 120 (Afro)

40%: Shards (Sharp ice crystals that are scattered about the field. Can be hit once with an attack of any sort to break it into normal snow. Does ??? damage if stepped on.)
60%: Snow (Everything else)
Special: Snowballs (Snowballs of varying sizes are scattered about the field. They range from being nearly large enough to use as cover to being small enough to be hurled. Beware of rocks!)
Sieg was thinking. He was wondering how much time it took for the Boogies to disguise themselves as a snowman. In fact, the entire logistics was fascinating him. Maybe they were standing guard on top of each other to uh.... increase line of sight? Save horizontal space? And then like... a snowstorm came and they didn't move. Yeah. That made about as much sense as anything.

He did kind of resent that, most of the time he couldn't really do anything while Valkyrie was in battle, aside from the rather mechanical task of sending the odd chip every now and then, and had to amuse himself with such useless lines of thought instead.

Valkyrie wasn't thinking. Or rather, she only did for a moment, just enough to assess the ridiculousness of what's going on, and then abort any further inspection with a mental sigh. Maybe a bit of annoyance about having 3 rather uninteresting enemies after already beating half a dozen, but that's more of a feeling than a thought.

After wasting no more than a few milliseconds with that, she leaped into action. White flame roared in her wake as she dashed almost instantly to the position of the Boogies. She almost seemed to crash into the largest one, stopping in the last moment right before impact, her sliding boots flinging snow up like when an ice skater brakes hard.


A ripple of force erupted from her as Valkyrie unleashed part of the power contained within. Her joints seemed to be steaming as the cold air of the Sharo network came into contact with parts of her body uncovered by the armor. Her body was quickly heating up, fueled by her own burning life force.

She channeled the power into her lance which almost exploded with shimmering bright and burning light, and with not much grace but much more power, smashed down on one of the boogies standing near. Molten snow splashed up as she dragged the weapon back above her head for the second attack. She leaped over the other virus to stab down from above before landing on the other side and leaving the lance behind stuck in the little puddle made by its blazing heat.

Although that athletic display was rather striking, Valkyrie was already feeling the after effects of overextending herself. She stopped for a short breather before straightening out and gesturing for a chip between two huffs. Such a tenacious bunch of hairballs.

+ Firstbarrier
1. Ride of Valkyrie (teleport to boogies, 2 turn haste)
+ Chooser of Slain (Stun Big Boogie)
2. Prelude to Ragnarok (microburst Big Boogie away, 4 charges, -30HP)
3. Charge attack (200, Fire, Impact) Boogie
4. Dodge
5. Charge attack (200, Fire, Impact) Boogia
+Freya's bless (heal 15 HP)
((Three bumps deleted))

In an instant Valkyrie appears next to the Boogies, then quickly stuns and knocks the Big Boogie away with enough force that a small, prismatic object falls out of it. Almost crystalline in nature, the thing sparkles with an inner glow, shifting between colors. Red... Blue... Purple... Green... for a moment Valkyrie can almost swear she sees black, but it's probably just her imagination.

It almost reminds Valkyrie of a disco ball.

The smallest Boogie tries to grab the object as it falls, but Valkyrie squashes that thought with her lance, impaling the first virus and turning it to ash almost instantly. Ew, burnt hair smell! Valkyrie then makes a flying leap over the Boogia, running it through with her lance-- but it grabs her (With the power of funk?) as she lands, picking her up (20), and then hurls her at the Big Boogie with uncharacteristic strength. As Valkyrie looks back at the Boogia, she notices a Rageclaw sticking out of its' mess of hair...

The Big Boogie, meanwhile, has pulled out a gigantic cannon barrel from its' hair, and appears to be charging a shot...

Boogia: 50 (Rooted by Valkyrie's lance)
Big Boogie: 400 (3 moves away from group) (Charging)

Prismatic Object: 35 (Shiny)

Valkyrie: 115 (Afro) (Haste) (Flying through air towards Big Boogie) (Buster disabled: Lance stuck in Boogia)

40%: Shards (Sharp ice crystals that are scattered about the field. Can be hit once with an attack of any sort to break it into normal snow. Does ??? damage if stepped on.)
60%: Snow (Everything else)
Special: Snowballs (Snowballs of varying sizes are scattered about the field. They range from being nearly large enough to use as cover to being small enough to be hurled. Beware of rocks!)
Her lips curved upwards a bit. Oh it's true, these hairy balls still didn't pose any real threat, but this last one felt as though he was at least putting up a decent fight. Maybe he'll be killed last.

Which means that she's speeding towards the only legit target remaining. And away from whatever macguffin the BigBoogie dropped. Convenient.

Valkyrie whsitled, kind of how one would expect to call for a dog. And that was more or less correct. Space rippled besides her as a portal opened to... somewhere else, a place maybe more peaceful, but no less cold than Sharo. A lot more cold, in fact. Valkyrie could feel it's deadly chill sapping her strength, her muscles freezing up just by being in close proximity of the rip. Two muzzled, snarling faces emerged from it, with searing light blue eyes locked on their respective prey. The twin wolves darted at their targets, hungry for life-heat and too selfish to share with one another.

Valkyrie usually didn't get the chance to survey the details of these beasts... nor did she care to. But they were speeding in the same direction and she couldn't help but notice that the monstrous wolf looked more "solid" in the frozen climate of Sharo. Body made of snow and ice, fangs and claws like glaciers. Maybe if she focused on it more, she could somehow lengthen the summon to have them stay long enough to actually put those to good use in ripping apart some of her foes. But where's the fun in that?

Speaking of which... focusing a bit of her remaining energy from the ride, she turned around mid air to face the foe she was about to crash into, while manifesting the chip sent to her by Sieg. Although she had a theory that the afro would cushion the impact anyway, and she was told to use her head a few times by Sieg... but she decided that weapon first would still be preferrable.

Valkyrie roared up in unison with the Drillarm. A mix of snow and crushed ice exploded around her as she made her impact. That was what was left of one of the wolves, most likely. She arrived drill first, supporting the weapon with both arms around chest height to push all her weight and momentum into the strike.

Of course, her landing wasn't that smooth. As the drill flinched, and then disappeared from her hands with it's time used up, her remaining momentum carried her forward. She rolled and tumbled in the snow before getting back on her feet. Her breath got even heavier than than before, and she gestured for a chip again. This time Sieg sent her a sword. Perfect! She was starting to wonder how cutting frozen hair would feel.

- You die now.

It was a simple statement of fact. Maybe with a little more glee in it than it should. Regardless, Valkyrie went to work on the BigBoogie, two handing the sword and ready to smite the curls out of its afro.

The blade swung faster and faster, curling snow-dust trailing after each slash. The impacts didn't slow it down. If anything, Valkyrie attacked with increased zeal. Chop-chop-chop. She didn't even really see from all the things flying in her face. It's tiring work, rapidly cutting frozen afros. She could feel her arms and hands grow ever number until she could barely hold the sword, and had to stop lest the weapon twists out of her unfeeling hand.

Now all she needs to do is wait for the dust to settle to see the results.

1. Nifleheim's wrath (seeking+Hold+Freeze+small ice terrain. Self slow for 2 turns.) BigBoogie and Boogia.
2. Drillarm (Impact, knockback+lineattack=60x2) BigBoogie
+ Chooser of Slain BigBoogie
3. Sword (80) BigBoogie
4. Sword (80) BigBoogie
5. Sword (80) BigBoogie
+ Afterburner
6. Sword (80) BigBoogie
+ Freya's bless