BestMan's Pirate Territory Tour

"Everything about me is quality! Nothing about me is just quantity," Hundred chuckled, seeming comfortable reveling in the praise she was offered, now that it was all in the past... though she'd gotten dressed back quickly enough.

Even Jolly seemed to think there was something suspicious about Torrent's sudden acceptance of her claim that Antidote wasn't on board. "Sure..." she murmured, narrowing her eyes suspiciously and rubbing her chin in a cartoonish way. Finally, she shrugged and started grinning again. "I like you too, Cap'n Torrent! Even more so, if you say you're going to leave Cutlass out of this! Har har har!" Keeping alongside Jolly was probably a good idea, as there was something about Jolly that seemed to inspire the men to look, but not touch. The same extended to Torrent so long as the two were together, though there was an awful lot of staring.

Well... walking to the deck with her was a good idea, but throwing in with her might not have been. "Plan?" she asked, with an innocent smile still pasted onto her face. "Look around you, buddy! We Jolly pirates have the element of water on our side. I can control the sea, to some extent! You shoot water... I think! You know what Bomba uses? Firebombs!" she laughed like a crazy person, as if 'firebombs' was the equivalent of saying 'waterbombs.' Anything lights on fire we'll just put out! I mean, don't get it twisted, she gets angry easy and just my face will probably start her throwing bombs. But who cares? We're water girls! We'll just put it all out with our awesome water powers! And then we'll blast her until that stupid white bedsheet she wears is all soggy and wet!"

If this was sounding like a terrible idea, Torrent would probably want to speak up. Unfortunately, she'd have literally no time to do so. "Oop! We've been spotted. There's one of Bomba's little scout ships now. That's one thing she does pretty well... her small ships are mobile, so they spot you and bring the word back," Jolly explained, smirking in a way that showed how little she thought of that. "But we've got the sea on our sides! How silly is Bomba, huh? Her surrounded by water is like me surrounded by exposed electrical wiring! You'll see how easy this is," she guffawed.

It wouldn't take long for Bomba's fleet to appear on the horizon... many low-lying ships with conventional row-men, though all dressed in white, flame-retardant hoods and rags, covered in scorch marks, were making there way towards the ship. It might occur to Torrent as well that Jolly's ship had gotten well ahead of her own fleet; Jolly either didn't realize or didn't care. "She's got to get pretty close to throw a firebomb... fortunately, we don't have to get close at all to use our cannons to blow them out of the water!" she cackled, rubbing her hands villainously.

"Every cannon must stay its fire! No attacks must be made, as each has a chance to destroy Antidote, if she's on one of these ships," two different Hundreds interjected. "Everything must go according to a different plan. No one can be relied upon for that... more than Torrent," she yielded the situation again into Torrent's hands, shirking the responsibility.

"Hmmmmmmmmm... Sure... But let me offer some pointers for getting one up on Bomba!" Jolly giggled, clapping Torrent on the back (thankfully, not nearly as hard as BestMan would, though with all the enthusiasm). "She's got three weakpoints. First is her fire; we talked about that already. That just means you're safe, no matter what you do! Second is her pride. She's so hot-headed and prickly, she'll jump at any bait you throw out, I bet! Third is her family... she's got a big family that she takes care of by stealing on the seas. But... using those against her is kind of mean, so... maybe don't," Jolly finished, crossing her arms thoughtfully. It was the same look she'd gotten earlier, as though her natural instincts were at conflict with best pirate practices.

Torrent would need to make a decision fast. With no cannons firing, the ships seemed to be seizing the opportunity to move in quickly. The ships might be eschewing mid-range fire-bombing in favor of boarding the ship. A slightly more decorated figure than the others could be seen at the very front of the boat approaching them quickest: she was dressed in a white cloak like the others, though hers was so scored it was more a patchwork of ashy gray and black. Her foot looked to be mostly bare, apart from footwraps circling from her toes to her ankles. Her skin was tanned and glistening with sweat and what was visible of her red, spiking hair flapped with each lurch of the ship. Her lower face was covered, but smoldering orange eyes looked out from the opening in the hood. She seemed to have more in common with the first mate below deck on Jollly's flagship than with her fellow captain.
As the armada of pyromaniacal pirates pivoted into position, Torrent felt her heart-core sink into the lowest depths of her code. It had been going so well. Jolly had, if not thrown open the gates of comradeship, at least considered her a potential ally. Torrent wanted this to be a simple matter of finding Antidote and somehow sneaking her out out without anyone so much as getting a splinter. A no holds barred sea battle between two groups of vicious, cutlass and cannon wielding pirates was the last thing on her mind.

Suddenly, the idea of hiding below deck didn't seem that bad of an idea.

She was trapped. Caught between the cold glare of Cutlass and Bomba's fiery fleet, someone was going to come for her neck at some point. Jolly, her pirates and the slightly-tipsy Hundreds were all looking to her for input.

She gulped. The mission was Antidote's safe return, but if Bomba had her on one of her ships, Jolly's long-ranged cannons would probably send her sinking. Argh. Things were so much simpler when people were just trying to kill her.

Torrent could barely move. Her thoughts muddled and crashed together in a maelstrom of doubt. Indecision wracked her emotions until they were a mess of fear and frustration. She was paralyzed from within.

<<Move over, Torry.>> Torrent found her mouth opening of its own accord and Hippie's wailing shout blasted across the sea. "Attention Miss Bomba! Please surrender all prisoners or face the skeins of our hanging gallery! Yours sincerely, Captain Torrent and the Hundred Boatswains!"

That sinking feeling in what passed for her gut? Yep. Straight through the center of the earth and into hell itself.

Which was, fittingly, where she felt she was now.
Jolly jumped back and covered her ears with her gloved hands as Hippie's voice blasted out from Torrent's mouth. "Good golly, Cap'n Jolly! That's loud as heck!" she complained, although one had to wonder how close she was planning to get before delivering her message in a regular, non-ear-splitting volume.

It was hard to see Bomba's expression, any further than that it was orange-eyed and severe. Still, she was also quite capable of projecting her voice; she pulled down the shroud covering her mouth in order to speak. "We have no prisoners of Jolly's or of yours, Torrent. This is just great! Jolly made herself another water-blooded friend!" the enemy pirate taunted.

"Ha ha ha! You're just upset because you don't have any friends!" Jolly countered, leaning dangerously over the rail of her ship. She stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry. "Ha ha ha!"

"Aaaarr, ye should moon her! That'd show her!" one of the pirates suggested. He was bopped for his suggestion, though he didn't seem overly phased by it.

"No way, dummy! Torrent, you moon her! You won the butt contest, after all," Jolly winked, as though actually expecting it her new friend to do it.

"... None of us are boatswains. All of us are unaware of what a boatswain actually is," one of the Hundreds nearest Torrent remarked.

It was hard to reconcile the comments of the peanut gallery with those of the threatening, hooded figure who was still headed towards them at great speed. A look around would now reveal another inconvenient truth: the two ships had both extended far past the rest of the rest of their fleets. "We have no prisoners... But we do have a problem. What brings you to our waters? Answer quickly, or my men and I will board!"

"Ha! With what, your one little dingy?" Jolly hyuk-yuked from Torrent's side.

"... You must realize that at this distance, my ships will swarm in on yours in a matter of seconds. You've left your ships so far behind that you're stranded out here. Even with this strange new companion of yours... I hardly think you can handle my whole fleet. This will be over in a hail of firebombs," Bomba scoffed. "Even if there are a hundred of them, which I strongly doubt."

"All she said is true! There is no doubt there are 100," Hundred protested.

Torrent might have gathered by this point two things: one, that Bomba probably didn't have her prisoner, making this battle unnecessary. Two, that Bomba had nowhere to hide any prisoners, something that Jolly really ought to have noticed and warned her about right away. About the only way Bomba could logically hide a prisoner is under the white robes her crew were wearing. It may be best to find a way to disengage and see if another pirate happened to have Antidote instead.
Everyone was insane.

That was the only logical conclusion.

Who in their right mind would subject themselves to this kind of terror? Jolly's running a suicide charge, with her only rationalisation being 'We have water?' We're ABOVE THE WATER! Her pirates have only one thing on their mind, which in a way is my own fault, but is it too hard for them to consider self-preservation instead? And let's not mention Hundred, who's put her own safety in my hands! Doesn't she know how selfish she's being!?

Oh, but there was one who trumped them all in being ludicrously, unreasonably irrational.

"Hippie!!!" Torrent shrieked, "What in the double-barrel blazing blockhead of insufferable stupidity are you doing?! Are you trying to-"

<<Torry!!!>> Hippie's resoundingly uncharacteristic cry silenced Torrent to a momentary speechlessness. <<I know you're scared! I know you probably want to be anywhere but here!>>

Torrent grit her teeth.

<<But that poor girl needs us! Torry, you have to find her! What if it was me locked up all alone and scared in a den of pirates?>>

Torrent frowned. "That doesn't even make sense. How would I-"

<<It doesn't matter!>> Hippie yelled, and Torrent could hear tears in the voice. <<You're her only hope now!>>

Torrent blinked. She looked around her, at old enemies and new allies alike. She glanced down the prow of the ship at the incoming enemy fleet. Then she looked up at the sky, the blue heavens marred only by its grid-like texture, as though it would show her the way forward.

It didn't. The only one who could do that was...

Herself.

"Fine." She muttered. "F-fine!" She spun around and glared at Jolly and Hundred. "If none of you are going to think intelligently about this, then I'll do it! Out of my way!" Torrent could hear the hysterical timbre in her own voice, but at this point she'd had enough.

Yellow-green fluid oozed out of the nozzles dotted around Torrent's body as she activated her bubble shield

[1]: {Sig, 2TCD} Hydro Power (50 HP Barrier + Counter (Melee Hit): Knockback) -> Torrent

and stormed across the deck of the ship, furiously shoving pirates and Hundreds who blocked her path. She thundered up to the ship's wheel, lightning from her bubble crackling around her. One of the Hundreds was blabbering away to the pilot. Torrent grabbed her and hissed, "Make sure BestMan's boat doesn't float away." She let go of the clone and glared at the pilot, remembering what Hundred had said earlier. "By order of the Captain, I have been given free reign over the deck of this vessel." She grabbed the wheel and spun it, hoping to turn the ship ninety degrees to both fleets and escape out in that direction. If Antidote wasn't here, then they'd have to look elsewhere.

She was still terrified. Terrified beyond belief. The only thing keeping her from curling up in a sobbing ball was the sheer, outrageous brainlessness of the people around her. Especially Hippie.
"Aaar, yer gonna moon her after all?! But er, maybe you try it at us first to get some constructive criticism, before ye do it at her!" one of the pirates responded to Torrent's ironic claim that something was fine. Unfortunately for him (though maybe not in the long run), Torrent had no intention of going along with that solution.

"Wait, are you running away?!" Jolly asked as Torrent stormed away from their perfect Bomba viewing spot. She found little resistance from the crowd of pirates and Hundreds, numerous though they were.

At the navigator's wheel, one of the Hundreds nodded, but lowered her eyebrows. "... None of us are particularly concerned about BestMan's boat. All it cost was likely a few hundred zenny off of an auction site," she informed Torrent, just in case the girl had somehow gotten fooled into thinking that BestMan's motorboat was valuable just because it looked like it was gold. Still, it looked like one of the Hundreds was heading off to check on it, if it was even still hanging on back there.

"She's running away!" Bomba informed the others on her advance ship. She somehow seemed even angrier now that Jolly was fleeing her waters. "That coward!" For a moment, it seemed like Bomba was going to keep bringing her whole fleet after Jolly and her crew, but once Jolly got far enough away, there was really no reason to pursue. Torrent was out of the area before Jolly even made her way up to the captain's wheel.

The curly-headed pirate walked up casually, pretending to look this way and that as though not particularly interested in what Torrent was doing. "Hey there, my fellow captain!" she reintroduced herself, scooting closer and crossing her hands behind her back, in what was perhaps supposed to be a dignified captain's pose. "So uh, that was a pretty sweet escape from Bomba just now, and like, I'm not usually about retreat, but different captains, different techniques, I get it," she complimented her new friend. "That said, er, I know we did that whole contest and all that, but if Cutlass comes up from below deck, and she'll prooobably be up pretty soon given the way we just u-turned our ship, she's going to be kind of pissed if she sees you using my wheel. So how about you hand that over to me, tell me whether you want to meet Power or Clipper, and I'll take you where you want to go! But I think we should go to Clipper and not Power. But it's your choice! Just give me the wheel. Right away," Jolly insisted, looking over her shoulder towards the doorway that led to the lower decks.

The good news, voyage-wise, was that they appeared to have left Bomba's waters, as evidenced by the fact that the small ships had stopped pursuing. A few of Jolly's other ships had managed to catch up too, now moving along the left side with Jolly's main boat. "Oh! You know what? I heard Clipper recently picked up a new passenger! Sounds like your hostage, doesn't it? We should totally turn the ship about 145 degrees around thatta-way and we'll head over to meet Clipper! Except you let me hold the navigator's wheel and I'll do it!" Jolly insisted, beginning to try to wrest control of the wheel away from Torrent. Navigation would probably get pretty nonsensical if she didn't either give up control or otherwise get Jolly off her back.

Hundred came back, shaking her head quickly. "All is fine. No boat is left attached, however," she murmured, alluding to the sad disappearance of Captain Torrent's maiden vessel.
Torrent's grip was tighter than a buddy-cop duo's bromance. She wasn't able to let go of the ship's wheel until Jolly pried it out of her hands. As the captain espoused the merits of meeting Clipper, Torrent nodded dumbly and staggered away, leaving Jolly to steer the ship. At the stern, she leaned over the rail and watched Bomba's fleet give up the pursuit, which likely meant they'd escaped the mad Bomba's territory.

Torrent flopped dangerously over the edge of the ship, letting out a long, long sigh. She looked across the digital waves to the simulated horizon, wistfully nostalgia for the times when adventures like these were things that she made up as stories to tell children. It was only through sheer dumb luck that she hadn't been tossed to the sharks or run through by vicious marauders.

<<Hey... Torry? Are you okay?>> Hippie interrupted her melancholy. She sounded cautious, like a puppy in a bog.

"I'm... just looking forward to be back home..." Torrent pouted.

There was a stretch of silence, broken only by the cries of a few birds and the caterwaul of the ship's crew as they responded to Jolly's seafaring instructions. <<Torrent...>> Torrent perked up a little. It was unusual to hear the girl hesitate. <<I know things are scary... but that's when they become the most fun. You remember how terrified I was to ask out my first crush?>>

Torrent nodded. "You cried basically every night, afraid you'd mess everything up."

<<But, but I still did, right? I knew I might damage our friendship by asking, but if I didn't, I'd be wondering for the rest of my life. I gathered up every little bit of courage I had and said the words I thought would ruin my life forever, 'Do you want to go out with me?'>>

"But she said no." Torrent gazed up into the sky. "It didn't work out like you hoped."

<<Yeah...>> Hippie agreed solemnly. <<But it wasn't as bad as I expected. Yeah, it hurt when she said no, but I still felt a million times better after asking."

Torrent smirked. "That, and a week straight devouring entire buffets."

<<The point is, it'll never be as bad as you imagine. You love telling those stories at the cafe. Maybe you just gotta dig down and grab that courage, like I did, and push through!>>

It could be worse. Torrent thought as she watched the occasionally leery pirates and their captain work around the throngs of Hundreds. I could be doing this alone.

Thinking of Hundred, the robed navi seemed to have a similar reaction to danger. She beckoned one of the Hundreds over, leaning against the barrier. "How're you holding up. I'm sorry for taking advantage of you like that." She gestured at the ship and its motley crew. "I don't suppose you expected this kinda thing when you signed up."
"Clipper, then? Good! Let's go see Clipper," Jolly agreed whole-heartedly, now using the reclaimed control of her ship to guide them in that direction.

As Torrent leaned over a side-rail and received a pep-talk from her appropriately peppy operator, the rest of the crew continued to give her shifty glares, a relevant sea-shanty fresh in their minds as she remained bent over. The Hundred that came over to join her had "32" engraved, indicating her number splitting off from the original. "Nothing remains to worry over, regarding your unexpected instructions. Everything has worked out in the end," Hundred assuaged Torrent's fears, or attempted to, at least. "Everything I expected included dangerous pirates and turbulent seas. Nothing I imagined had prepared me for a song and booty-dancing contest, though, I must admit," she murmured, tugging her hood down a bit further to hide her red face.

The two wouldn't have much time to reminisce about those zany antics, before another ship showed up on the horizon. This one was a sharp deviation to the others, revealing something more like a historical Netopian fleet-ship than a pirate ship. Its design was elegant, with lots of smooth engraving to the wood and ostensibly much less wear and dirt from the sea, implying it was either newer or better maintained. A number of pristine, white sails with the emblem of a ship in green displayed on the surface flapped above the body of the ship. Notably, it looked as though the ship was a little smaller than Jolly's, and unlike Bomba's, was just one ship. She was probably the "quality over quantity" type. However, it didn't have any cannons on board either, unlike Jolly's. Perhaps that was why the young captain had been so keen on meeting her, not fearing the possibility of meeting her as an adversary.

"Everything about that ship makes them look genial compared to our hosts. But nothing about having a picture of a ship as a ship captain's emblem is particularly original," Hundred shrugged, apparently not feeling as though they were in particular danger. Her worry seemed to grow a little, however, as Clipper's ship grew closer. Aboard the ship, standing at attention, were many women dressed as naval officers, with clean, mint-green uniforms, billed hats, and sabers in sheaths at their notably curvaceous hips. It was a ship full of dangerous-looking beauties... this sea seemed to be full of dangerous-looking beauties, in hindsight, though this ship was especially fully populated with them.

Perhaps none of the officers stood out as much as the one at the front of the ship, manning the wheel. She was a tan, exotic-looking woman with brown, waving hair, spilling down from a wide-brimmed green cap and over the shoulders of a beautiful green dress, which buttoned all the way up the neck and seemed as though it must be quite hot to wear for a day like this. The sleeves ran to the wrists, with white frills peaking out from the ends, and matching frills were evident at the hem of her belled skirt. As they got closer, she signaled for one of her crew to take the wheel, then unfolded a handheld parasol to keep the sun off and approached closer to the front of the ship. She motioned to another of her crew, who brought her a megaphone so that she could speak from a distance. "Jolly! To what do I owe the pleasure? I hope you're as amiable as your namesake suggests this fine day," she chuckled affably. At the very least, there were no threats to bomb them yet for entering the territory.

"You've got somebody my friend is looking for! You're holding a girl for ransom, right? A girl named... uh... what was her name again...?" Jolly murmured, looking over to Torrent. One of the Hundreds approached from nearby and gave her the name, although in her usual manner of speech. "Ah, right! Antidote. Her name's Antidote! You guys got her?" At the same time, Cutlass was approaching from below-deck, not announcing her presence and staying a distance away to observe.

"Why yes. A woman named Antidote has recently decided to seek asylum upon my vessel. As a willing crew-mate, I might add," the brown-in-green woman, presumably Clipper continued, amusement evident in her voice. "Is your friend perhaps seeking to join us as well?"

"Everything you've said is ridiculous. Nothing could be further from the truth," Hundred interrupted, stealing the megaphone that Jolly was using to project her voice. "All of us Best Girls are paid far too much for the simple task of doing basically nothing for BestMan. No one in their right mind would refuse such a simple and lucrative deal."

"Well that sounds fascinating! But I assure you, she has. If you'd like to learn why, I'm willing to approach under truce. Your friend and Antidote can discuss it like reasonable women. Of course, you will recognize that Antidote is one of my crew members now, so if she does not wish to return to her position and you attempt to force her away from my crew... that will breach our truce, and I'm afraid a fight will be unavoidable. I suppose you will also not object if I ask your friend, and yourself, Jolly, to come alone? Without your second-in-command either?" Clipper asked, a laugh punctuating the last point.

Cutlass glowered but made no objection. Jolly smiled, evidently unconcerned, and looked to Torrent and Hundred. "How about it, you guys? Let's go see what your friend Anteater is doing aboard that ship of limy dandies," she suggested, already bringing her ship alongside Clipper's. "You two got a game plan? Are you gonna let Anteater go if she doesn't want to come back with you?"

"No one is named Anteater. Everyone knows her name is Antidote," Hundred corrected her, like a snappy child that can't tolerate or laugh along with stupidity in others. "Nothing could be a conceivable reason for Antidote to pass up this opportunity. Everything points towards a trap," she warned Jolly and Torrent. "Everyone should be cautious. No one should be caught off guard when Clipper springs a trap to hold us all for ransom as well."

"That's... uh, okay, I guess that could happen," Jolly admitted, crossing her arms across the chest of her swimsuit. "What do you think? Wanna tell her to bring Antidote over here instead?"
"I'm glad you have my back." Torrent nodded with a watery smile, noting the cute blush under Thirty-Two's hood. The last half hour had felt like years. Unbelievably scary years. But even though the totalitarian terror within her was still assassinating all opposition, a small thrill was gradually finding a place in the regime. She looked back to the rolling grid-sea. Perhaps the waves would help calm her down just a bit.

Her throat hitched as the sails of another ship crested the horizon.

Torrent peeked around the mast as the ship drew close, it's captain conversing with Jolly via megaphone. This newest... leader contrasted Bomba spectacularly. Graceful, clean, well dressed and mannered. Overall the entire picture was much less offensive, even Jolly's ships were frighteningly deadly compared to Cutter's unarmed cruise ship. In fact, aside from the crew's personal swords, they were practically defenseless.

But the internet was a dangerous and scary place. If something didn't look dangerous, it was merely hiding it's claws.

"How about it, you guys? Let's go see what your friend Anteater is doing aboard that ship of limy dandies."

Torrent smirked at Jolly's choice of words, despite the judgmental horror of having to make a decision. She was starting to become fond of the little sea captain.

And the thrill grew.

Legs shaking, Torrent extricated herself from her hiding place and joined Jolly by the wheel.

"I think... " Torrent swallowed. "I think the sooner we see Antidote, the better." She pointed to Cutter's ship with both hands, the palms sideways, like she was carrying an invisible box. "We'll just visit, um, have a nice chat, and... see what Antidote has to say?" She finished with a meek shrug, glancing at Hundred... several of the Hundreds, for reassurance. "You don't mind staying behind and keeping an eye out for me, right?"
"Every Hundred is capable of carrying out BestMan's hair-brained missions. But no Hundred takes for granted your assistance in this endeavor," Hundred agreed in her best show of solidarity, pulling her hood down even harder in bashfulness to the point that none of her face remained visible. Although the two were growing to be closer chums, Hundred did not seem to have the same adventurous spirit growing inside of her that Torrent now entertained, given her overly cautious suggestions.

Torrent moved over to Jolly's side, both in terms of the game plan and physically. The ship captain grinned big and slapped Torrent on the back again, thankfully not as hard as BestMan had earlier. "Ha ha! Parlay! My favorite," she cheered, raising her fists in the air. "You're gonna see how a real lady of the however-many-seas the net has does it, Torrent!"

Hundred looked like she was going to object to the plan, until she heard that her part of it was nothing more than staying on the ship. In predictable fashion, each of the Hundreds nodded along, now allowing their hoods to show off their serious faces. "Everything is under control. No one will get past an army of Hundred," she reassured Torrent. With the two ships next to each other now, a crank-operated drawbridge began to unwind from the side of Clipper's ship. In bald defiance, a rickety, precarious looking drawbridge slapped down from Jolly's over the side of Clipper's extending in further than it needed to and presumably messing up the intricate siding where it had hit.

"Avast, me hearties! Er, hearty!" Jolly spurred Torrent onward, across the highly undesirable length of wood. Like many things so far in this journey, the situation was not ideal and somewhat precarious, but Torrent would get through with the proper application of gumption and bootstraps. "Here we are: Clipper's flowery, perfumey, way too flashy sea vessel. It's not as cool as my ship, I'm sure you'll agree, but it's a heck of a lot nicer than Powers' or especially Bomba's."

And indeed it was: the deck of the ship was not much different than the exterior had looked, though up close, it was apparent that the ship had a lot of other quality of life features others didn't... like tables, for starters. At one of these tables, Clipper had taken a seat, alongside a woman who looked out of place among everyone else in green, presumably not yet having had time to change into the uniform. The woman was suitably pretty to serve on this ship, with bright, blonde hair ringed by a silver circlet. Her hair went into two short pigtails, held at the shoulders, and her eyes were an odd, vibrant purple color. The color matched the rest of her outfit, which was roughly the purple of a grape fruit drink, ringed with silver belts holding vials of green, purple, and clear liquids. She wore some light silver armor over the swell of her bosom, as gloves, and as boots. She looked like she was probably a little bit older than Hundred, which was apparent from the snugness of her purple bodysuit, among other factors.

With Clipper and Antidote on one side, that would insinuate Jolly and Torrent should take a seat on the opposite side, to form a nice two-on-two parlay. "Greetings. It looks like each of us have a visitor, Jolly," Clipper began amicably, holding her parasol so that it shaded both herself and Antidote.

Jolly had no parasol to offer any such curtesy to Torrent. "Yeah! Only my friend here is a guest and yours is a captive!" she began on the wrong foot, perhaps not noticing that Antidote wasn't being subdued or shackled in any way. "This is Torrent, and she's here to collect Anteater and take her back where she belongs!"

"About that..." Antidote interjected, looking vaguely apologetic as she perhaps got an inkling of what Torrent had already been through to get this far. "I'm afraid I'm not coming back. I was hoping I would be able to sneak off without anyone following, but I guess I was only picturing BestMan or one of the Best Girls coming after me... I didn't anticipate you or your cooperating with the pirates to track me down," she sighed, in a very quiet voice. "The truth is, it's better for BestMan- and me- if I quit the Best Girls, and I really didn't know how to turn him down..."

Torrent was probably worth telling her that BestMan had been poisoned and had limited time left to live if he didn't get a taste of Antidote's namesake, but Antidote would override that concern quickly enough. "You see, there never was any poison... It would have been crazy of me to poison BestMan and keep doing it day after day like that, you know? So I just sort of... pretended to poison him every day," the former Best Girl explained. "So, um... G-Give him this antidote and um... Maybe tell him that's all you found left of me? The rest of me was... eaten by sharks or something?"

Clipper was smiling in a bemused way, but remaining silent. Jolly, on the other hand, was staring dumbly and didn't stay quiet for long. "I don't get this at aaaall," she droned; it was a good chance to remember how little background she had going into the parlay. "Does that work for you, Torrent? In fact, uh, maybe you should really be guiding this parlay a little," she admitted.

"I-It's really not any worse than what the rest of the Best Girls do. I just felt a little guilty, so... I figured I'd leave so he doesn't have to pay me anymore. He's been really persistent the last couple of times I've tried to find some way to quit. So I thought I'd spare his feelings rather than telling him he's, uh... been fooled for a year or so now of being fake-poisoned," she murmured, sinking into her shoulders, ashamed. She pulled a thin vial of clear liquid from her belt and passed it across the table. "That works, right?"

"Ooooh-ho-ho-no! No way that works for my buddy Torrent over here! She's a fierce lady of the sea, and no way she's taking a consolation prize like that! You're coming back with us, missy!" Jolly protested, not understanding what was happening, but recognizing an anticlimax when she saw one. This might be a good time for Torrent to protest a little herself.
Torrent kicked at Jolly under the table, her face straining to remain passive.

Clearly BestMan's antics were a little harder for his, uh, employees to handle than Torrent had realised. She wondered if Hundred or any of the other Best Girls had a troubling occupation. Wait, what was it that Hundred did again? She glanced up to see several Hundreds keeping watch from the other ship. I'll have to ask her afterwards.

Torrent picked up Antidote's 'antidote' and fidgeted with it as she thought. What really rankled about Antidote's story was that BestMan did look like he was suffering. Sure, Torrent knew about nocebo, how one could convince themselves there was something wrong in spite of actual fact, not to mention that BestMan did appear to have such a headstrong capacity. But was that truly the case? The guy's life could be in her hands.

And what was Antidote trying to do? Avoid hurting BestMan? Well that wasn't working. Escaping? Was BestMan dangerous? A little overbearing, sure, but malevolent? Surely not...

But still...

But still, she may end up starting a pirate war if this went badly. Torrent glanced skyward, wishing for a little of Hippie's boundless confidence.

Which came in the form of a ghostly <<YoOoOoOuUu CaAaAnNn DoOoOo IiIt~>> in her ear.

Taking a deep breath, Torrent fixed her attention on Antidote. "I, I really think you need to talk to BestMan one last time."

She gesticulated with the vial as she talked, scrambling to support her argument. "Look, I've, uh, I've only met him once, but BestMan didn't strike me as the kind of guy to let things slide easily. If I tell him you're dead, he'd probably try to find your body, even if it was..." She waved her empty hand, palm to the sky. "...torn to pieces. Or, I dunno, fight every shark in the sea? Which would probably get him killed anyway. And, and he might even find you by chance, and then you've got another problem on your hands."

Torrent held the vial out in front of her, her confidence improving with momentum. "And this might not even convince him. He's really hurting, Antidote, whether it's real or not. Poisoning him with lies isn't going to help."

She placed the vial back on the table. "If you really want to leave BestMan, that's fine. But this isn't going to end easily. You know this. You've got to be firm. He can't force you to stay." Torrent pointed at herself with a thumb and smile. "I'll be there to make sure of it." She pointed to Jolly's ship, to the watching Hundreds. "And I'm sure Hundred will too." She smiled and nodded at Jolly, then turned back to Antidote. "We'll go back to the beach, sort all this out, and then you can decide if you want to be a pirate. But the choice will always be yours."

In a cold flash, Torrent remembered who at the table held the most cards. She turned to Clipper, swallowing, the image of a hundred shining sabres whistled through her mind. "Would, uh, that suit you, Captain?"
Antidote's face registered clear worry when she realized that Torrent wasn't going to go right along with her scheme. "Aw... You're probably right about the sharks. If he's willing to drink poison for basically no reason at all, he probably won't hesitate to swim through the sharks... and I don't think he has a shark specialist among his Best Girls, though, who knows," she sobbed, seeming even more upset as she realized there might be a Best Girl on payroll who was serving to help increase his defense against the sea's greatest predator. "I guess I should tell him. I just... hate to make him disappointed in me when he realizes I haven't really been helping him build his poison resistance. I never really thought it was an idea that would work, but it made him so happy when he read in a book that kings used to do it... So I thought it wouldn't hurt to play along. But obviously, it did..."

"Hm hm hm. If you want to poison people for real, I could certainly make use of that," Clipper joked. "That would be more menacing if I'd prepared tea today, but alas..."

"I guess it's going to be a pretty short parlay anyway," Jolly agreed, sounding like she was missing the tea a bit even though Clipper just informed her it'd likely be poisoned.

"Okay... I guess I'll send a message to BestMan and let him know what's going on. It's probably easier than going all the way back to him," she reasoned out. "He's sent me a ton, of course, I just haven't been answering him. As for being a pirate, well... I-I thought it might be more fulfilling than being a Best Girl, since life would be so much more, er, lively," she explained, gesturing to the sea around them. "Being a Best Girl pays alright, but we never really, er, do anything..."

"Well, that choice remains yours," Clipper agreed, resting one arm upon the table while holding her parasol with the other. "I really could use your poison knowledge, in case any of the sneaky pirates around here get any ideas."

"Hey! You're the one who had the idea to poison tea, right? I'm sticking strictly to grog from now on!" Jolly reminded Clipper. "N-Now I kind of want your help too, Antidote! I need you to suck out the poison if someone tries to kill me!"

"... Suck out the poison? I think you've misunderstood something," Antidote responded quietly, smiling as politely as she could manage. Before anyone could clarify the meaning, her eyes opened wider, showing alarm. "Oh! It's BestMan. I'll put him through so we can all explain what's happened," she suggested, before opening up a viewscreen looking upon herself and Torrent.

The familar, trophy-helmeted head of BestMan appeared, showing his usual grin despite the new. "Antidote! I received your message and had to give you a call in person. For all I know, you're still being held hostage by those dangerous pirates and they forced you to send a message throwing me off the trail! I always look after my Best Girls. That's the BestMan Promise!" he began, although the BestMan Promise wasn't worth much if he could just lose track of one of his Best Girls that way. "Where are those swarthy salt-dogs anyway?"

Antidote tilted the screen slightly so he could see Jolly and Clipper as well. Clipper beamed, somehow threateningly, while Jolly placed her palms on the table and leaned over, offended. "Who are you calling a dog?!" she protested.

"Ah... Well, it looks like you girls are all getting along after all. Maybe the sea isn't so dangerous after all! And furthermore, maybe what you said is true, if Torrent really did go all that way to find you. Ha ha ha! Well, if that's your choice, I'll accept it. I've probably built up a lifetime of poison resistance by now anyway. In fact, I'm not feeling the earlier poison any more at all! I think I just burned it right out of my gut, simmered it all to nothing with my In-Best-inal acids!" he explained, patting his abs a few times.

"... Well, again, not real poison, I wouldn't test it," Antidote coughed, sinking into the shade of the parasol further. "But I'm glad you're not mad."

"I can't be mad with my Best Girls. You're all the best, after all," he shrugged. "Anyway, happy sailing! Speaking of best girls; you're clearly an expert at the art of parlay!" he continued, rubbing his chin and grinning excitedly.

"Aw, shucks. I guess I do have a way of bringing people together! Ar har har!" Jolly guffawed, affecting a laugh that didn't quite suit her.

"... Uh, I'm not sure who you are, but I was talking to Torrent there! To trick the pirates into letting you sit at their own table, freeing the hostage and giving them nothing back in return! Top notch work, Torrent. How do you feel about coming on my payroll as the Best Girl's Ace Naval Negotiator, eh?"

Antidote shook her head a few times, indicating either that he ought not to antagonize the pirates or else that she ought to refuse that offer.

"Anywho, you were promised a reward, and I always keep my BestMan Promises!" he continued; his words were perhaps not a lie in his own delusional mind. "Come to think of it, we never really talked about that earlier, did we? If that's the case, how about some options? All of them come with the BestMan Quality Guarantee!" he winked. "Alright, so... I can give you LunarRay1, Shrimpy1, and Arsenal1. Any you don't want, we'll convert to zenny instead, 2500 zenny a piece. Whatcha think?" he inquired, looking from left to right as if suddenly wishing he had a parlay expert with him to make sure he was wheeling and dealing properly.

"Ooo, 7500 zenny's not bad. I could buy a lot of grog with all that!" Jolly gasped. It seemed almost like she was trying to show off with all the talk about how much grog she could drink...

"I'd go for the chips, myself. She who has variety in her repertoire is prepared for all situations," Clipper advised.

Antidote stayed quiet, perhaps because there were no other options that needed a voice to speak up for them. Luckily, Hundred was still aboard the other ship, or there could be up to one-hundred other viewpoints to consider. Once she gave BestMan her answer, however she arranged it, he'd flash a thumbs up towards the screen. "Nice choice! I'll have it sent to the e-mail the GNA gave me. You'll have it in one, two, three. That's the BestMan Promise! Well,, one of them, anyway," he shrugged. "Ciao, ladies!"

From here, as long as she was satisfied with her rewards, Torrent was free to wrap up any loose ends and see the pirates off; she might also want to stop back on the other ship for a bit to say goodbye to the other Hundred friends she'd made, or any swarthy skull-headed butt-lovers she'd somehow grown fond of.
Torrent watched Antidote as the girl wobbled through dejection, bumbled into acceptance and finally plucked up the courage to confess her ruse to her boss. Torrent wondered if this was how she acted herself when being indecisive.

As far as the call to BestMan went... well, frankly, it couldn't have gone better. Antidote had probably been mentally preparing for this conversation for a while now, so Torrent's initial nudge was the only contribution needed on her part. BestMan himself didn't really seem to realise the trouble he'd caused, but in the end Antidote was secured and her employer was happy.

And the best (hah) part about it? No one had to die.

Thank. Gods.

BestMan offered his rewards for the job. "What do you think, Hippie? You're the operator."

<<Get the one with the cute shrimp, obvs!>>

"Uh huh. What about the other two?"

<<Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, we don't need both... gimme a second...>>

Torrent heard what sounded suspiciously like a flipped coin being tossed into the air and splashing into some poor patron's drink. <<Take the lasergun!>>

Torrent relayed the choice to BestMan, completing the transaction. As Hippie confirmed the payment, something began to swell within her. Something new and achy, like being wrapped in a blanket of dull coals.

Pride?

Her head drooped suddenly. Nope, it was exhaustion. Torrent had run herself ragged with worry all day. It was time for a PET nap.

Torrent shook hands (or politely nodded if preferred) with Antidote and Clipper, exchanging small, professional goodbyes and wishing them well.

"Here, Jolly." Torrent produced a small data crystal, handing it to Jolly. "It's not much, only 1000 zenny, but you helped me out a lot today... so... thanks." She cleared her throat, a slight rosy tinge in her cheeks. "If, if I'm in the neighbourhood... I'll, uh, stop by, sometime."

<<HmmmmmMMMMM?>> Hippie pestered with an obnoxiously smug grin on her face.

Torrent blushed and stormed up the galley to Jolly's ship. "Oh, hud yer wheesht."

She waved tiredly to Hundred and her many selves. "I hope you realise that this would have been a lot scarier without you. Thanks for the support." Antidote's situation bounced into her head, reminding her that not all was rosy within the ranks of the Best Girls. She gave Hundred a data crystal containing a personal copy of Hippie's e-mail address. "And you can call on me if BestMan gives you any more trouble, alright?" She thumped her chest and grinned. "Everything will be okay, nothing will stop me!"

Torrent made to jack out of the server, when a last, potentially lucrative but terrifying, notion forced its way out of her. "And tell BestMan that I'll be his negotiator."

((Any further resolution would be appreciated, but that's totally up to you.))

GET: Shrimpy1, Arsenal1, 1500 zenny
Torrent (or her operator, rather) picked Shrimpy1 with a side of Arsenal1 and zenny which would be delivered promptly to her email, as before the BestMan promise.

((Torrent receives Shrimpy1, Arsenal1, and 2500 zenny! You can just imagine her receiving the email.))

Clipper accepted a perfectly genial handshake that somehow felt too fancy for their brief acquaintance and the silliness of that meeting's nature. Jolly took a handshake as well, trying to match Clippers gravitas but falling somewhat short... though that actually seemed more appropriate. She looked genuinely mystified when she was rewarded for her efforts, however. Matching Torrent's expression, briefly, she pulled her hat down slightly to cover her eyes and made a show of greedily snatching up the packet. "Fine, but pirates don't get paid, we loot and plunder! I just looted and/or plundered you, got it?" she insisted. "But next time, the grog's on me! And we'll skip the shanty."

((Torrent loses 1000 zenny!))

As Torrent approached Jolly's ship via the connected boarding bridge, she would see the Hundreds watching her curiously, then suddenly finding ways to look busy as she got closer, except for the closest few. "All that you've said is to be expected. No one could doubt the helpfulness of my hundred-fold multiplication power," three Hundreds nodded, bobbing their caped heads briefly in unison. "All said, the mission would have been slightly more difficult without your cooperation; leaving nothing out, I am thankful you were here as well."

All the Hundreds looked up slightly at the prospect of Torrent accepting one of their boss's positions, either not knowing the offer was on the table or thinking it unlikely she would accept. "All is well; none of us are bothered by the accompanying update of rosters and paperwork that we will need to submit," she answered, although something didn't sound quite sincere about that. "All Torrent will need to do is either request relevant work through the GNA and ask for BestMan, or otherwise, submit an email to BestMan's mailing address for any related work that she feels she should be paid for; nothing in that is as stringently reviewed as one might imagine, however."

The bone-headed pirates surrounding them watched the meeting closely, although, despite the earlier BestMan seminar, they seemed to have no idea what was being discussed. "All of us look forward to working with you, Torrent, although none plan on having our position among BestMan's favorite and best paid Best Girls challenged," she finished. "Nothing should be misunderstood, however... all of the Best Girls understand that there is no BestMan Faction Shop."

((Torrent got the associated work address: BestGirlsBox@Bestmail.Best))
((Torrent also gets the following FXP

BestMan: 10
Hundred: 23
Jolly: 22
Cutlass: 2
Clipper: 2
Antidote: 5))