Return to the Troll Citadel

Beachnet had never been known as a prime spot to construct a spiraling, monolithic tower devoted to the worship of evil witches. All the same, some time ago, a certain troll had elected to make the net his new base of operations and constructed this tremendous structure. The back of the tower, facing the sea, is open? But the only opening from the front is a single set of double doors, usually closed to the public.

Besides that, a new spire had recently joined the previous one: a giant bamboo straw stuck out from the sandy dunes of the beach. This one featured no doors nor windows at all. Nobody could quite figure out who built this one, but most beachgoers had elected to try to avoid this area altogether as of late in favor of less crowded (and shaded) areas.

It was here that Gretchen's coordinates would send her to beam down... But where was her client? Her client was a ninja, after all, so shemight be hiding.
Wanting to make a good first impression, Gretchen beams into her first mission in her full professional attire: Brown slacks, a white button down blouse, and a green and black striped tie. Standing in the shadow of the monolithic tower protruding from the sand, she felt a little bit like a door-to-door sales navi. She looked around, taking in her surroundings. A cool breeze made her involuntarily take a deep breath. The crisp air of the beach was a nice change from the dark recesses of SciLab, and she was excited to see where the day would take her. She gave her wings a quick twitch, feeling much more energized after a nice rest from her last outing. She bent down and picked up a small pile of sand and watched as she let the particles slip through her fingers and dance away in the wind. "Oh yeah, I could get used to a place like this." Rubbing her hands together to get the last few bits of sand off, she looked back and forth between the two towers, both of which looked very out of place, though the conflicting architectural designs made Gretchen smile a bit. Looking around, however, she seemed to be the only one there. "Roger? Are we sure this was the right spot?" Roger checked the link from the BBS.

"Well, this is where the GNA told us to go... Maybe we're early?" Gretchen tilted her head and looked back at the towers.

"Perhaps..." She shrugged, and crouched down to draw a group of parallel lines in the sand. After about seven or so lines, she switched and drew two more lines, connecting her group like a ladder. She pointed at the tops of these two lines and recited an old child's game, "Eeny, Meeny, miny, mo, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go, eeny, meeny, miny, mo!" Her finger ended hovering over the right hand line, and she followed the line to the bottom, crossing every beam as she came to it, ending up pointing to the bottom of the left hand line. She stood up, brushed herself off, and with nothing more to go on than luck and chance, started heading toward the bamboo tower.
At the sound of Gretchen's voice, the ground began to tremble. The giant bamboo spire that Gretchen was investigating began to shake, then extend further out of the ground and tilt downward toward's the sand. The dunes of the beach began to split apart ad some kind of giant, black tents rose out of the ground, impossibly large and expansive. Gretchen barely missed being carried into the air as the eruption objects continued into the sky, causing sand to fall like gritty rain. In the end, the thing was revealed to be...

A giant ninja. She (that much was abundantly clear by the outline of her body against her full body garb) had been hiding underneath the sand using a bamboo straw for air.

The ninja was do huge that she easily matched the size of the black tower in the distance, only seven less appropriate to the setting. "Hello, Gretchen," the navi's voice boomed. Gretchen became aware of the sounds of alarmed navis in the nearby tower. Realizing this, the giant ninja got on her knees and cradled her arms around the tiny navi, blocking out the sunlight and giving the impression thatGretchen was suddenly surrounded by clothy black walls. "Don't be alarmed," she whispered. "This form is the condition I spoke of. The accursed ninjas of the witch living in that castle turned me into a giant oni..." True to what she said, it was apparent from this distance that she had red skin and two (relatively) small horns beneath her mask.

"We do not have much time, so let me quickly explain your mission. I am going to smash that tower and recover my friend. In the mean time, the ninjas controlled by that woman will attempt to mount me and... rip apart my gear," she continued, blushing. It was sort of weird to see a giant ninja ogre blush. "They know that once a ninja has been seen naked, she cannot marry, and are using that to hold me at bay. Your job is going to be to dislodge them from my body before they can do any damage."

"Now, I ask, is this suitable?" Kama concluded, still using her best imitation of a whisper. "Our time is short but I can give you some strategic briefing once you are ready."
To say that Gretchen was surprised at the appearance (Both the size and entrance) of Kama would be an understatement. As two massive expanses of black rose from the dunes, she lost her balance and slid down the side, and with a bounce landed clumsily a few feet away. As she gazed at the impressive figure rising from the sand, her cheeks turned a slight shade of red as realization dawned on her. That being said, she was taking the situation surprisingly well. As a child, one of Roger's favorite stories had been the "Alice in Wonderland" books, and Gretchen had grown quite fond of them as well. The first thought that crossed Gretchen's mind was not one of terror, but rather fascination. Thoughts of "tents" were quickly replaced with images of mushrooms, and of cakes with the words "Eat Me" as she stared upward at the massive Navi.

Her gaze and silence, must have been mistaken for fear, for Kama did her best to keep Gretchen calm. The initial shock dissipated quickly as alarms from the distant tower reached their ears, and Kama began to quickly explain the situation. After a few moments, Gretchen found herself very sympathetic toward poor Kama's dilemma. "Oh you poor dear..." she began, with many questions beginning to bubble up inside. But before she could ask anything, the sounds of battle began to rise from the tower in the distance. The witch's navi's weren't going to give them much time to discuss before the fight began, so Gretchen made up her mind on the spot. "Well, I certainly can't let them ruin your reputation like that. I may not know much about the ways of ninjas, but I do know a thing or two about modesty." With a flick of her wings, Gretchen scurried up the black cloth of Kama's right sleeve, and perched herself on Kama's wrist, casting her gaze toward the oncoming horde. "Lead the way, and we can figure out the details later!"

Roger, however, had to run and grab a tissue for his bleeding nose, and missed all of this. All that he knew at this point was that Gretchen was staring at a small army, and was wearing much the wrong outfit for this kind of "mountain climbing", not to mention battle. Roger cleared his throat and set out his Binder of Battlechips for the task ahead, not entirely sure of what he could add to the situation.
"Good, I appreciate the assistance. Please station yourself wherever you feel is best. The ninjas can use their powers and the elevation granted by the tower to approach from any direction, so be wary," Kama's voice responded, seeming to come from all directions. "As you can see there is um... not much way to lead." Indeed, as soon as the ninja turned and took a few steps forward, they were right in front of the tower. "I know their plan because they already dislodged my outer armor during my escape, after the witch made me a giant so that I could be tracked. You see, my master won a tournament being held here and was imprisoned by the witch's followers for speaking out of place. My rescue attempt at that time ended in failure."

What she had referred to as "ninjas" began to pour out of the troll dwelling. In actuality,they all looked like women in Halloween costumes or movie costumes, featuring big claws and wings and the like. They looked like ants from Gretchen's vantage point. It was hard to imagine them being much trouble to the giant ninja,which was probably why they were relying on that odd, perverse tactic.

"The important points to guard will be the belt at my waist and the seam at my neck; those access points would both allow the navis to quickly disrobe me. Beyond that, they can only do gradual damage. Remember that it will only waste time to fight them; you need only throw them off to protect me."

Amusingly , the giant grabbed the top of the tower, then used a sickle extending from underneath the arm of her garment to cut off the top of the tower like it was a can of beans. This alluded to the possibility that Kama might have some other useful ninja devices inside her clothes. She set the top aside and then reached one arm all the way inside the tower, as far as she could manage. "I can feel them coming up... be prepared!"

Indeed, from where Gretchen was positioned on the free arm, she could see enemy navis climbing up the ninja's stocking feet, trying to tear the cloth as much as they could. Undoubtedly, others were probably making their way up the other arm. Gretchen could also spot a few emerging from the upper windows of the tower, perhaps with some kind of plan.

((For this mission, Gretchen will have 20 "energy" in a turn. You can climb from area to area using 1 energy per move. You can attempt to dislodge a navi for 2 energy. You may find ways to move or dislodge navis without using as much physical effort, thereby conserving energy.

Kama's body is divided into the following areas: head, neck, chest, back, left shoulder, left bicep, left forearm, left hand, ditto for all the right arm parts, stomach, groin, butt, left calf, left thigh, left foot, ditto for all right leg parts)).

Gretchen's position: left hand

Enemy locations:
4 are climbing the right hand
3 are climbing the left foot
4 are climbing the right foot

Kama's outfit is in good condition all over.
"Curiouser and curiouser," Gretchen muttered, watching in awe as the top of the tower was cut away with swift ease, and the evil looking harpies poured out of the tower to begin their assault. All of the enemies did indeed look so small from this position, but she knew that she was small up close, so things might get a little dicey if she tried to get into any sort of actual combat. "Just dislodge them; you don't have to tell me twice." Looking around at the oncoming army, Gretchen made the decision to start at the top and work her way down. "Climbing up is always harder then falling down, right?" With a flick of her wings, Gretchen began scaling her way toward Kama's chest. The clusters below would be a problem, but they would have to wait. It was a race to the top with the ninjas on Kamas other hand, and there was no way Gretchen was going to fail this early. Besides, there were more of these things coming out of the windows, so she wanted to try and stay high to see what they were planning. When she reached the summit of her climb, she took another look around at the advancing foes. It turned out that destruction of the outfit was more important than speed, so the ones she was expecting to meet at the shoulders were still down near Kama's wrist. Climbing a giant's arm while she dug around inside your tower probably wasn't in the standard training manual of... Well, anyone, really. From this position, she took a moment to survey the contents of the tower, and perhaps get a better idea of what was to come. "Hmmm..." pondered Gretchen, a plan beginning to form in her mind. "Hey Roger, could you load up a chip for me? I don't know if this will work, but at least it'll make for a cool entrance."

"A cool entrance? You're going to need to focus more if you're going to make this work." Roger shook his head, but flipped open his newly organized folder. "What chip did you want?"

Gretchen smirked as she bounded across the back of Kama's neck, headed for her right shoulder, "When soldiers attempted to siege a castle that was up on a hill, the defenders sometimes rolled logs down the hill to try and take them out." She began sliding down the shoulder to get a better vantage point for this. "Sure, Kama isn't quite a castle, her arm isn't exactly a hill, and the opposing ninjas aren't really sieging per say, but it's close enough to be worth a shot." Roger just shrugged and slotted in the RollingLog1 chip.

"If you think it'll work, go for it. Just remember, you're not really fighting these guys, so most of these chips will be useless here." Gretchen nodded as the data of two logs filtered down from Roger.

"Your concern is noted Roger." She turned and looked down to the oncoming assault squad on Kama's wrist and grinned. "Look out below," she said, to no one in particular. The pair of logs popped into existence in front of her, and with a kick they began rolling down toward their targets. Regardless of success, Gretchen followed close behind the logs, ready to take out anything still on their way up. This could be a rough fight, and Gretchen wanted to be absolutely sure of her footing and knew that having to backtrack would take far too much time. A little caution could make a world of difference.

4 pts: Climbing from the hand to the back of the neck
2 pts: Crossing over and down to the right bicep.
2 pts: Pushing logs down Kama's arm
2 pts: Traveling down to Kama's right hand (Follow the logs)
10 pts: Attempting to dislodge ninjas from right hand and staying aware of what was coming out of the windows.
Gretchen climbed her way across the black tarp covering the giant ninja, on a path for the opposite arm. If nothing else, she would have to be thankful that the ninja's whole body was clothed; moving across sweaty red flesh would be significantly more difficult than clinging to black, oversized cloth. The movement went quicker than one might think, allowing Gretchen to roll logs down on the unfortunate monster navis, who fell off easily with no preparation or warning of the attack.

The only downside to the plan was that Kama was currently thrashing her arm around intently inside the tower, making it difficult to hold on and maintain a grip. Her hand clinched and unclinched as she grabbed around for her master, like a kid searching a cookie jar that he couldn't see into. What she probably also didn't realize, but Gretchen could see quite clearly, was that a few flying navis were taking out through the back entrance, probably to circle around and find a good landing point. A few other clawed navi monster women jumped off and latched onto the ninja's upper arm while the ones on the feet progressed up to the shins.

A navi with purely white eyes and sharp fangs, sporting neat blond hair and a black maid's outfit, flapped her bat-like wings and hovered close to Gretchen. "Why are you helping the ninja, little one?" the navi asked, raising her eyebrows in what seemed like feigned surprise. "You do know what her master tried to do here, don't you? My mistress Trik allowed the navi, Alex, in here to participate in the monster tournament and, much to her surprise, found that Alex had come here to try to conquer us and add us to her army! In fact, it took much of our manpower just to capture her!"

"Now listen, little navi. I, Myrmaidon, will cut you a deal! We will pay you for the very simple task of helping us defeat this giant ninja for our forces of evil, although in this cause, we are only questionably so. There's no shame in treachery when it's for a noble cause, correct?" the flying vampire maid inquired. Kama must not have heard any of this, because she went on feeling around.

Gretchen's position: right bicep

3 are climbing left calf
4 are climbing right calf
3 are climbing, right bicep
1 is chatting, floating near right bicep
4 are airborne, circling towards back

Kama's outfit is in good condition all over.