From the moment you click on the 'Important New Video Update from Netvegas Inc.', annoyingly chipper music blares from the speakers of your device. Trumpets, guitars, what sounds like an entire section of bassoons-- is that a theremin?
The camera lowers toward a darkened stage as the music builds to a crescendo, and then the lights come on with a dramatic fanfare, revealing the be-suited, top-hatted navi known as AuctionMan.exe. He tips the brim of his tophat low, his broad grin covering the majority of his cone-shaped head, and then with a second flourish the navi throws off a cape, revealing a beautiful female navi beside him in a rather slinky golden-glitter dress.
"HELLO NETVEGAS!" Auctionman shouts, wheeling his slot-machine left arm. The three slots on the front of his chest spin accordingly, coming up with triple sevens. "I know you've missed me, none of you have kissed me, yes! It's me! AuctionMan, back after far, far too long!" Fake, canned applause rings out as Auctionman blows kisses to the camera.
"Starting at the first of July, me and my lovely assistant LadyLuck.exe will be running a new, special, monthly event for you all!" More fake cheers, this time mixed with wolf-whistles as LadyLuck poses in her dress. "You might be thinking, 'If it's not an auction, why is AuctionMan running it'! But my fans, my fans! If you know me at all, you know AuctionMan goes where the money is!" More cheers.
"Now without further ado, allow me to announce the Netvegas Open Raffle!" AuctionMan said, gesturing toward a sign with a logo. "Starting at the first of the next month, there will be three prize pools you can spend a little bit of Zenny to buy into! Some of them will be for NetVegas's more discerning and exclusive clientele, but don't worry, don't worry, everyone will have a way to be a winner! We'll announce more details on the first of the month, but the gist of it is this: Give us a little bit of your zenny as an entry fee, and until the end of the week we'll roll which of the beautiful prize chips we have available you get!"
A list of battlechips scrolls by, too fast to be read. You pause the video. No, it's not that they were going too fast, someone has intentionally blurred the list to keep the chips from being recognized. You resume the video.
"So many great prizes, AuctionMan!" LadyLuck beams, posing next to the list.
"Right you are, right you are!" AuctionMan laughs. "That's all for now, folks, and while I confess I'm hogging her for now, may Lady Luck be with you when the event starts!"
There's some more music as an outro, and then the NetVegas Inc. logo displays again before the video ends.
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tl;dr I probably should have made this post in World News, there will be raffles where everyone gets a prize, they will cost Zenny, they start at the 1st of next month, so save your zenny up. ONE PAIR PER PLAYER PER EVENT.
