Stop The Demon Vendor!

Magna's bulky form appeared through an equally bulky white beam, slamming into the ground with a bang. "INITIATING SCAN FOR VIRUSES!"

"Hurry, Magna! Someone's already been hit by a Mr. Pibb! We have to keep casualties to a minimum!" shouted Mill at his PET.

(Battle 1 Start)
Magna finds some viruses attacking the network.
They soon turn to face the navi and attack him!

BillyA: 50 HP
BillyB: 50 HP
BillyC: 50 HP

Terrain: 100% Normal

Magna.exe: 100 HP

"Alright Magna, I'm sending you the Shotgun and Firebu--"

"OBJECTION!" shouted Magna as he pointed a finger at the video screen, cutting Mill off mid-sentence. "HIGH-CALIBUR WEAPONRY IS BEST SAVED FOR EMERGENCY SITUATIONS! REQUESTING RAGECLAW CHIP!"

"What?! No! We need to--" Someone doesn't want Mill talking today. In a brilliant presentation of Murphy's Law, a rogue can flew mere millimeters from Mill's hand, managed to collide with the Shotgun and FireBurn1 chips, sending them sliding out into an open part of the lobby. "Unbelieveable! Fine, then! You get your RageClaw, Magna!" yelled Mill, pulling out the rest of his chips. "I need to get those chips back! I'm sending the Cannon too, just in case!" With that, Mill placed the PET under the reception desk and began combat crawling into the middle of the carbonated warzone...

"ACKNOWLEDGED! BEGINNING COMBAT ROUTINES!" Magna's right hand morphed into the RageClaw, while the Cannon was held back for later use. Heeding to the urgency of the situation, Magna jumped into the air, its piston plowing into the ground, and landed next to the nearest Billy. The hulking Navi hacked away with the RageClaw, delivering a vicious slash in the virus's direction before trying to grab it and hurl towards one of its comrades. Not a Navi to overstay its welcome, Magna unloaded its piston again, propelling itself back into the air.

1. RageClaw (40 damage) @ BillyA
2. RageClaw Throw (20 damage, Impacting) @ BillyA, BillyB
3. Jump (dodge)
Bomber slashes the Billy, then throws it into its companion, deleting it and damaging the other virus. He then jumps over a thunder ball.

BillyB: 30 HP
BillyC: 50 HP

Terrain: 100% Normal

Magna.exe: 100 HP
Magna crashed down next to the damaged Billy, its metallic form towering over the poor virus. Rearing its RageClaw-equipped arm, Magna threw a powerful blow straight at the virus to try and shoot it into the other Billy. Regardless of whether or not the two viruses actually hit each other, Magna would rush forward after BillyB and attempt to catch it on the rebound, smacking it yet again into BillyC.

In the real world, Mill hurried to make a roll to the side, narrowly avoiding a can hurtling straight towards him. Of course, as soon as the liquid projectile hit the ground, it erupted in an explosion of soda and fizz, completely soaking Mill. "Argh!" shouted Mill as he covered his face from the spray, "Why did this have to happen today?!" Thankfully, Mill turned his head to see he had reached his runaway Battlechips, so he scooped them up in his hand and started crawling back as fast as he could. Damnit, this wouldn't have happened if Magna had just gone with my plan! What was he thinking?! No... More like 'what was he thinking'. I didn't program it to form its own strategies... Is that what really makes a NetNavi? Do I really know so little? Urgh...

Returning to the virtual front, Magna activated the Cannon data he had stored away, watching as the RageClaw twisted and turned in a mass of blue data bits until it looked like a Cannon. Locking on to the less damaged of the remaining viruses, Magna raised his gun and fired, trying to blow away anything left in its way.

1. RageClaw Throw (20 damage, Impacting) @ BillyB, BillyC
2. RageClaw Throw (20 damage, Impacting) @ BillyB, BillyC
3. Cannon (40 damage) @ BillyC


Terrain: 100% Normal

Magna.exe: 100 HP

Get: 300z
Mill dove back under the reception counter, gasping for air after having risked his life in an aluminum crossfire over two chips. Just what the hell was he thinking? Mill grabbed his PET and shouted at the screen, "Magna! Have you found the source of the problem?!"

"NEGATIVE. PREVIOUS ENCOUNTER YIELDED NO CHANGE IN VENDOR'S SOURCE CODE." answered Magna as two cans streaked right past Mill's face. Turning to face the counter, Mill yelled through it to Wallace, "Just how many cans are in that single machine?!

Mill couldn't see him do it, but Wallace scratched his head and started counting on his fingers. "Uhh... I'd guess a few hundred, buddy..." replied Wallace sheepishly, somehow pulling that number from only raising 4 fingers in his count. Mill's eyebrow twitched before he bellowed in response, "If this happens so much, then just why the hell do you guys keep so many drinks in there?!" Wallace opened his mouth to answer... then closed it... then opened it again... and did repeated this pattern twice more before he said, "Huh... Good question, buddy." Mill just shook his head and ordered Magna to keep searching...

(Battle 2 Start)
(Third bump?)
Virus Attack!

BoomerA: 60 HP
BoomerB: 60 HP
BoomerC: 60 HP
BeetankA: 50 HP
BeetankB: 50 HP

Terrain: 100% Metal

Magna.exe: 100 HP

Mill's eyes traced over the battlefield, coming to a rest on the group of Boomers. Wood viruses! Perfect! With my FireBurn chip, Magna can wipe them all out at once! Beetanks are pretty fragile, too... We might just be able to... Mill's thoughts trailed off as he rustled through his meager folder for the FireBurn1 and Shotgun chips. "Magna!" shouted Mill, "We have the firepower to wipe them out in one round! I'll send you the FireBurn1 and Shotgun chips!"

Just before Mill could pop the pair into his PET, Magna shouted, "SUGGESTED COURSE OF ACTION NOT RECOMMENDED. CHANCES OF HITTING ALL ENEMIES LESS THAN 20%. REQUESTING AN ALTERNATE STRATEGY TO DISPATCH VIRUSES." An irritated scowl appeared on Mill's face in response, but Magna did not budge. Damnit... Again this infernal Navi disobeys me! My plans always give the quickest route to victory! So what if Magna gets damaged? I can just repair it later! Having formed this egotistical justification in his mind, Mill confronted Magna, shouting at his PET, "Magna, do NOT disobey me! I am your operator! You will follow my orders, and we will find the source of the malfunction faster! Why are you being so stubborn?!"

Magna didn't answer at first, only remaining fixed to its position and completely silent. After a few moments, Magna responded, "OPERATOR... HAS FAILED TO ACCOUNT FOR ALL VARIALBES." Mill drew back, appalled at his Navi's answer. What?! Not only did it disobey me, but now Magna has the gall to dispute my calculations?! The disheveled operator controlled himself, though, only saying to Magna, "... Elaborate."

"OPERATOR HAS FAILED TO ACCOUNT FOR THE VARIABLE OF STAMINA. NO MATTER HOW QUICKLY ENEMY UNITS ARE DELETED, SHOULD MY STAMINA FAIL BEFORE THE OBJECTIVE IS REACHED, THE MISSION WILL BE FAILED." A storm was brewing in Mill's mind as he tried to wrap his head around Magna's change in personality. Magna's considering its own well-being? I didn't program it to think about safety! And it said "my"... Magna has never spoken in the first person before. How could an AI be developing a sense of self...? Abandoning this confusing train of thought, Mill slotted two chips into the PET and said, sulking, "I'm still sending you the Shotgun and Fireburn1. Just do whatever you want with them... The viruses probably aren't going to wait much longer, anyway..."

Magna nodded as particles of chip data rained down from the sky, each bit floating down and diappearing into the Navi's body. Neither of its arms changed right away, meaning that Magna must have decided to hold them back for later. Not wasting any more time, Magna leaned forward, planting its hands on the ground as if it was about to start the 100 meter dash. Suddenly, a deafening crash echoed through the battlefield as Magna's piston hit the ground, propelling the Navi up into the air in a wide arc towards the enemies. As Magna fell back towards the ground, the shadow under BoomerC began growing bigger... and bigger... and bigger until the giant purple Navi crashed back down to earth where it thought the virus was. Magna then twisted around to face the pair of Beetanks as its left hand was swallowed up by data and replaced with a Shotgun. Clearly it was a bad idea to be sitting in the middle of all the viruses, so Magna quickly shot the aptly named weapon, its energy pellets flying towards their target, before jumping back up into the air to escape...

1. Piston Dive (60 damage, 2 TCD) @ BoomerC
2. Shotgun (50 damage, splash) @ BeetankA/BeetankB
3. Jump (Dodge)
Magna BODYSLAMS the Boomer virus to oblivion, leaving nothing left but a crater to where it was standing. He then blasts the two Beetanks, successfully deleting them with the "two birds with one stone" clause.
The other Boomers don't look too happy with this result and simultaneously fire their boomerangs at Magna, who jumps out of the way of one, but the other knocks him out of the air by spinning into the navi's side. Ooh~ That's gotta sting.

BoomerB: 60 HP
BoomerC: 60 HP

Terrain: 100% Metal

Magna.exe: 85 HP
A giant, several-hundred pound Navi? Check.

A giant, several-hundred pound flying Navi? Check.

A rogue boomerang that knocks you out of the air as you plummet towards the hard metal ground? Check. Recipe for disaster complete. The Boomer's projectile crashed straight into Magna's waist, knocking the purple goliath off balance and sending him spiraling towards the ground in some suicidal death-spin. The sound that sprung forth as the metallic Navi hit the equally metallic ground was a horrific ring that could only, perhaps, be emulated by two fencers armed with nothing but tuning forks. Luckily for Magna, it managed to roll out of the collision, taking advantage of its mostly cylindrical body and proventing any dibilitating damage.

Mill flinched as he watched Magna crash to the ground, the resulting ring screeching through the PET's speakers. As he saw Magna roll out of the blow, Mill thought, That thing goes on about self-preservation, then gets hit like that... What an idiot. Looks like I'll need to bail Magna out again... His ego now bolstered, Mill told Magna, "That look like it hurt. Maybe I can help you out a little..." Still on its side, Magna shouted in response, "NO ASSISTANCE REQUIRED. ALL IMMEDIATE ISSUES HAVE BEEN ADDRESSED." Mill scoffed and muttered to himself, "Egotistical fool..." Damn, what a hypocrite.

Magna suddenly shoved itself up, rocking a little until its base met even with the ground. Despite having just gotten back on the ground, Magna's piston went off again, this time at a much more acute angle and sending the Navi charging forward at the remaining viruses. Magna's right arm quickly morphed into the FireBurn1 gun, just in time as Magna grinded to a halt in front of the viruses. Locking the weapon in place with its free arm, Magna ignited the FireBurn1, letting loose a torrent of flames around the area where those poor Wood viruses were...

1. Jibber-jabber
2. Charge at enemy (Tactical Movement?)
3. FireBurn1 @ BoomerA/BoomerB (50 Fire damage/x2 Elemental Bonus/x2 Terrain Bonus = 200 damage?)
The Boomers go up in flames as the chip attack is augmented by the Metal terrain. Nothing is left of them now.

BoomerB: ASHES

Terrain: 100% Metal

Magna.exe: 85 HP

Get: 500z
Mill flinched in suprise as the battlefield blew up in one huge firey combustion of death. Metal panels?! I didn't even notice them! Crap, I messed up... Shaking off those thoughts, Mill asked his Navi, "Any traces of where the hack happened?"


Mill nodded, and Magna was on his way...

(Battle 3 start)
More viruses...
They look... kinda big... and that's saying something.

ElecOgre: 120 HP
CanoGuardA: 60 HP
CanoGuardB: 60 HP
HardheadA: 60 HP [IronBody]
HardheadB: 60 HP [IronBody]
Windbox: 100 HP

Terrain: 100% Metal

Magna.exe: 85 HP

Mill grasped for words at the sight of the horde of viruses, but only air would come out of his mouth. His mind was the polar opposite: many thoughts were violently spinning around in his head, trapped and unable to find a way out. All these viruses...! What should I do?! What should I do?! ... The ElecOgre! It could take advantage of the metal terrain, so Magna should... No! Those CanoGuards... Their accuracy will keep Magna pinned down if left alone! I'll... Damnit, that won't work...! Ah! The Hardheads! Magna's breaking abilities will destroy them... If he could only get close! Shit, why does that stupid Windbox have to be there?! Mill's eyes darted back and forth rapidly, desperately searching for a means to take on this powerful group of enemies.

Magna, meanwhile, was firmly rooted to the ground; its massive weight keeping the golem Navi steady against the Windbox's powerful gusts. Should Magna try jumping into that wind, though... Well, let's just say that it wouldn't be pretty. "OPERATOR!" shouted Magna, for once with good reason as the Navi tried to raise its voice over the loud Windbox, "REQUESTING CONFORMATION OF PRIMARY TARGET!" The distraught operator in question quickly snatched all four of his Battlechips out of his folder, holding them in the palm of his hand as he tried to come to the important decision of what to do. Cannon, Shotgun, RageClaw, FireBurn1... The answer is somewhere in here... I don't have any other choices! Mill's eyes then moved over to the PET in his other hand and traced over the battlefield, carefully examining each virus as the virtual screen panned over them. He froze stiff, however, as his eyes locked on the last virus, the Windbox. Wait... could there be... another option...? Yes! That might be it! I'm not limited to just these chips!

Rejuvinated by sheer determation, Mill threw his chips back in the folder and grasped the PET in both hands. With the burning embers of confidence dancing in his eyes, Mill shouted, "Magna! You need to get behind that Windbox!" Nodding its head in response, Magna began its mission to follow Mill's order. First, the Navi dove to the side to escape the Windbox's current, barrel rolling on the ground to create more distance. Wasting no time, Magna twisted itself around to plant its base on the ground and launch its piston, propelling it forward in a burst of speed. The ballistic Navi missed the viruses by a mile, but it was all just as planned. Magna braked into the ground hard, the screech of metal against metal echoing throughout the battlefield, and swung its arms around, twisting its entire body around to face towards the viruses before launching its piston again and blasting off towards them. Magna then crashed into the ground once more and started grinding to a halt, hoping to stop right behind the Windbox.

"Alright Magna, now turn the Windbox towards the other viruses!" yelled Mill as he issued the next command. Magna didn't nod this time, instead only responding by throwing its arms forward and trying to grab the virus in its massive hands. With a loud, yet slightly creepy, robotic roar, Magna poured all of its mighty strength into lifting the big and unwieldy Windbox and turning it towards the other enemies. Mill then told Magna to take evasive action, so Magna quickly jumped backwards, away from the fray...

1. Strafe viruses/Get behind Windbox (Tactical Movement)
2. Lift and turn Windbox towards other viruses
3. Jump backwards (dodge)

This is a bump, BTW).
(Damn, I thought epic bumping would work better... Bump #2.)