((PS: This is not my story...and it's a comedy rather than bland fanfic o_o;;))

Welcome to Dark Kingdom, an alternate universe in which the world of Kingdom Hearts has been distorted and alternate characters from our world have inhabited the main characters within the story.

Warm light spreads outwards from the setting sun in Twilight town as the world forever remains frozen in time as only a fading memory...

Ninja Seifer: "So, it comes to this Roxas. This time I will beat you down into the ground. Prepare yourself lamers!"

Plushy Rai: "...I hate being 2 feet tall."

Plushy Fuu: "Quiet Rai."

Roxas: "Not this time Seifer! This time your arrogance goes too far!...Wait a minute, why are Fuu and Rai chibi o_____O?"

Ninja Seifer: "I think they look cute ^________^."

Plushy Rai: "Damn fanservice..."

*awesome battle music begins*

*Roxas jumps forward into his battle stance*

*Roxas looks behind him*

Roxas: "Uhhh...Olette...Hayner...Pence? Aren't you going to help me?"

Olette: "We'll cheer you on from here!"

Hayner: "I'm not supposed to kick your ass until later >_>. It would be best if I didn't reveal my techniques until later in the story."

Pence: "I have no idea why I'm here .___."

Roxas: "-_________-. Fine. Bring on the fluffy padded baseball bats! I'll whoop your candy ass!"

*Ninja Seifer takes out a giant kunai that comes up to his chest*

Ninja Seifer: "Alright then! Kneel loser!" *points extremely large kunai at Roxas' face*

Roxas: "._________. What happened to the safe extremely fluffy baseball bats?"

Plushy Raijin: "We decided otherwise." *takes out two katanas*

Plushy Fuujin: *takes out extremely large buster sword*

Roxas: "If they weren't so damn cute, I'd fine this ironic as hell >_>."

*Axel appears behind the contestants, darkness spreading outwards from his form*

Blazing Axel: "Roxas...use the nobody inside you...You are not meant to be defeated here..."

Roxas: "I feel nothing .___."

Blazing Axel: "Exactly."

Roxas: "Yeah, but I don't feel anything within me to help me win this battle."

Blazing Axel: "Exactly."

Roxas: "There's nothing."

Blazing Axel: "That is our power."

Roxas: "...Uhhh... yeah >_>. Can't I just borrow your kickass lv.60 flaming pinwheels?"

Blazing Axel: "Screw that! I spent 9 hours leveling that up in Forgotten castle!"

Roxas: "I don't remember a world like that."

Blazing Axel: "Kingdom Hearts 2, Final Remix ^________^."

Roxas: "...Hax >_>."

Ninja Seifer: "So, when I slash through one of his arms, which one of you wants to impale him in the chest?"

Plushy Raijin: "I will."

Roxas: ".______. Please, just give me something to fight with."

Blazing Axel: "Well...this was going to be summoned by you in our fight, but I guess it wouldn't hurt."

*Roxas receives Blazing Keyblade of Light*

Roxas: "Alright, this will do >_>."

Ninja Seifer: "About time lamer. Shall we start this contest?"

Blazing Axel: "Time for me to disappear. I have a date with Quistis ^______^."

Roxas: "I'm never going to get laid .____. Alright Seifer, let's do this!"

*battle music increases in intensity*

*battle screen*

Ninja Seifer: "Alright loser. Time for you to get on your knees and beg."

*Ninja Seifer enters his battle stance with Rai and Fuu*

Roxas: "Eh? What the hell happened to a real time battle? O_______O."

*custom screen*

Roxas: "What the hell is this?"

*Dark Leon appears next to Roxas*

Dark Leon: "Roxas, this is a battle you have never before experienced. Let me explain it to you...this is a netbattle."

Roxas: "A what?"

Dark Leon: "Damn, fool. Haven't you played MMBN before?"

Roxas: "If I said no, would you hurt me? .___."

Dark Leon: "Until you bleed your own blood."

Roxas: "In that case, then yes, I've played MMBN >_>."

Dark Leon: "Alright, now equip the battlechips you need for the battle ahead. Currently you only have one battlechip. That would be the sword * chip up at the top of the custom screen."

Roxas: "What happened to my Blazing Keyblade of Light?"

Dark Leon: "It only works in the FMVs."

Roxas: "-______________________-." *equips sword battlechip *

Roxas: "Now what?"

Dark Leon: "Now you hope to hell Seifer doesn't rip you apart."

Roxas: "<(@__________@)>"

Dark Leon: "Don't worry, I'll help you out for this battle." *takes out an extremely oversized sword*


Plushy Fuujin: "Because Square Enix doesn't like you."

Plushy Rai: "And because you touch yourself at night."

*Blazing Axel appears out of nowhere*



Dark Leon: ".______. Anyway, let's do this Roxas!"

*battle commences*

Ninja Seifer: "Come on... quit playin' around and fight!"

Ninja Seifer
Lv. 9
HP: 200/200

Plushy Fuu
Lv. 7
HP: 80/80

Plushy Rai
Lv. 7
HP: 70/70

Lv. 1
HP: 20/20

Dark Leon
Lv. 10
HP: 300/300

Roxas: "So...how about I stay here and you go defeat those severely overpowered gang members?"

Dark Leon: "Not unless you want me to take away your keyblade for being the biggest coward I've seen since Sephiroth on anti depressant pills."

Roxas: "Sure...why not. Take it."

Dark Leon: "o_O Really?"

Roxas: "I have enough keyblades as it is. One less isn't going to hurt me. I have the rest invested with Marluxia for stock investment."

Marluxia: "How many heartless can I buy for this keyblade?"

Pete: "I don't know...don't those things disappear back to their former masters?"

Marluxia: "Not if their former master is still holding the keyblade ^_____^." *takes out a bloodied hand holding one of the keyblades*

Roxas: "Wait...why is my left hand missing? ._____."

Dark Leon: "._________."