I admit to being a little saddened when I left Sega to form my own studio, but not because I was abandoning the company and copworkers who had supposrted me for years. I was dismayed that I did no fulfill my ultimate goal: to kill Sonic the Hedgehog.
I had made significant progress; abysmal titles likeSonic Shuffle and Shadow The Hedgehog whent a long way to erode confidence and test the limits of gamers' patience. However, the job was far from done. Before I left Sega, I secertly met with Sonic Team to deliever one final directive: The Sonic franchise must die, no matter the cost.
They embraced their mission with alarming enthusiasm. The team devised terrible and incongruous concepts, then cobbled them haphazardly inot a loose approximation of games. They expanded the cast of Sonic's repulsive anthropomorphic friends, included hedgehog-on-human romance, and even threw him on a hoverboard -- twice! I was overjoyed. "This is barely even playable," I laughed as I played Sonic and the Secret Rings. "Mission accomplished."
I hadn't counted on you, the gamers, ruining my plans. No matter how hard Sonic Team tries to create a game not even a diehard fan could love, you stupid goons keep buying this garbage. Seriously, they turned Sonic into a "werehog," whatever the hell that is. Think about that for a seconed; what part of "werehog" sounds even remotely not stupid? That doesn't matter to you, apparently. As long as it has Sonic (or one of his insipid friends), you'll eat it right up and ask for seconds.
This is my plea: Stop. I beg you, let Sonic die with some dignity. Don't make the team suffer the humiliation of creating yet another game where Sonic transforms into some kind of genie or dragon...or something with a magic butt. Bucause that's where things are going, and if that doesn't stop you, heaven help us all.
Game Informer Magazine, April 2009 Issue
A lot of typos, but this was a real article in GameInformer.
Now, I didn't quite believe this for a few months since it was in April, and I don't believe anything around April, except maybe a death after I see the body in a casket. Anywayz...after this floated around a few months in the mainstream, it seems like this was no joke since I could find no confirmations...
...in conclusion, Yuji Naka has slapped the world of Sonic Fandom in the face.