Diss Assist

OK, lately, I've been having a problem.
I need something good as a comeback or diss, and I need it FAST.
Against our old enemies...
The "cool" kids. Can't be too smart, or too complicated; they won't get it.
Please, just brainstorm here. It'll be funny, even if it doesn't help me.
*ding ding*
1-2-3...DISS!
what are we "coming back" to? What are they saying?
'That's what your mom said last night.'

(Insert generic "you're a *something*) I know you are, but what am I?
"You know, I'd love to stay and challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed."

"[sarcasm]Wow! That was such a scathing insult! I doubt I'll EVER recover from that![/sarcasm]"

"(insert their insult here, with a question spin on it. Ex, That's what your mom said last night?) Inefficient, inarticulate, and idiotic. You must be some special kind of idiot, to take pride in a sad insult like that."
(Full version: That's what your mom said last night? Inefficient, inarticulate, and idiotic. You must be some special kind of idiot, to take pride in a sad insult like that.)

Comebacks to one word insults:
Hoe, Wench, Bitch, Idiot, Moron, Imbecile, Waste of skin, etc.
Nice hair. Still styling it with a weedwacker?

Is that your nose, or are you eating a hotdog?

I'd love to stay and talk, but I'm missing the weather channel. (may be too smart)

Do you like your face? (insert (most likely) 'yes' here) Because my dog needs its ass back.
If you use 'I know you are, but what am I?' I guarantee everyone around you will be laughing at you. It's just a terrible diss. Don't use 'complex' words either; then people think you're a nerd.

It really depends on the kind of insult they throw at you. If they use profanity, you'll have to swear at them too. If they don't, keep it clean.


However, try to avoid situations like this by becoming semi-friendly to them. It will make things much easier.

Quote (Phoenix)

Do you like your face? (insert (most likely) 'yes' here) Because my dog needs its ass back.

XD XD XD

Quote (P.A. Master)

"You know, I'd love to stay and challenge you to a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed."

"[sarcasm]Wow! That was such a scathing insult! I doubt I'll EVER recover from that![/sarcasm]"

Comebacks to one word insults:
Hoe, Wench, Bitch, Idiot, Moron, Imbecile, Waste of skin, etc.

1. Good for semi-smart kids.
2. Only good for rather intelligent ones.
3. All-purpose
And yes, that last one is WIN. XD
An all-purpose put-down.
>.<
I don't NEED that for Sam Fickinger! All I need is 'poser'.
Wooga110: I'm in a band.
Wooga110: Lead Vocals
Oopsthatsmycue: So people really do like the sound of a cat in a blender?
You: What are YOU laughing about?

Evil retard: Your face

You: If my face is funny then yours if a scream