Escort Mission

"Oh thank god that apple is long gone..." DNR said, wiping off the sweat raised from his fear. Looking at the opaque portal, DNR hurries towards it, screaming to Splitman "Hey Splitguy! Get in here or some stupid Stone golem might come up! Or something we can't beat without Mental help might come up at some stupid inopportune moment!" A few feet between the portal, DNR then jumps through like a frog creature, screaming as he gets closer "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh... damn these moments aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh... wish I had a whip.... aahhhhhhhhh!"

Splitman waited a few seconds until he was sure everyone else was through
"I hate you all" He said, before walking calmly through the portal. His arm was raised, his gun was ready, the first thing he saw on the other side was being shot...

Maybe not if it was one of the other two.

The first thing Splitman sees on the other side is DNR, sprawled on the ground and yelling something about a whip, and Mental, gazing vacantly at the largest digital, snow-covered mountain Splitman has ever seen, with nearly malevolent cliffs and arches; it looks like it would be utter hell to climb, if it was even possible. This entire area appears to be mountainous, Splitman realizes as he looks around; it's an almost perfect mountain ridge, with the largest mountain being the one Mental is gazing at.

"Mount whoathatsalongdropiwannagobacktomommawahhwahhwahh, boys!" Mental says, turning towards DNR and Splitman. "And we... are gonna climb it!"

"Climb? Gee... but we're gonna need a looooot of oxygen..." DNR said as he rose from the snowy floor. He then used his hands to wipe out the snow covering his face to get a better look of the place. "First a temple, now a snowy mountain side... next thing you know, we'll probably go to the beach... well... better get this show on the road, if we're really deep inside, who knows what we'll find..." he thought as he walked towards the mountain with a hand to his chin.

"Damnit" Split shouted, as soon as he got out of the portal. Instantly his arm whipped out and shot a single blast of energy towards the mountain. It would likely be useless, but damnit if he wouldn't try. The single blast arched gracefully toward its target before extinguishing with a tiny puff.

"Alright... lets go..." Splitman grumbled

"No, not THAT way!" Mental waves off DNR and Mental with a 'pshaw', and walks over to a-

-...big red button, marked 'DO NOT PRESS'. THAT wasn't there 5 seconds ago...

Mental turns to face DNR and Splitman. "Care to do the honors, DiNraR?"

"mmh, sure sure..." DNR simply says nodding with a smile as he looks at the button. He simply punches the button with his eyes closed, opening them to look around to see anything different about the area.

Splitman looked on in horror as events unfolded before his eyes. If there was anything he could do to just make this work-out he would, but there was nothing. "As evil as a freaking bum... " He muttered to himself, an out of context fragment of a longstanding mental rant he was having.

He backed off slightly to watch the aftermath.

Splitman backs into a solid object of some sort, and turns to see a staircase rising out of a maw in the ground that wasn't... there... before... ...was it? Mental skips over to the staircase as it rises to its' full height; it leads all the way to the peak of 'whoathatsalongdropiwannagobacktomommawahhwahhwahh', apparently.

Mental begins to trod up the staircase. "COME, MY AFROS!" Splitman looks down instinctively-- he's no longer pink...

His hands dart to his head. Sure enough, Splitman now spouts the complete overgrowth of curly hair known as an afro, rather than his usual helmet; a quick glance at DNR reveals the same has happened to him, as well.

Stranger and stranger...

"Huh..." DNR says as he scratches... raising an eyebrow of course. "I didn't think I'd have this... much... hair? An afro huh?" he says looking towards Splitman. "Well it would be a nice storage facility but up the staircase we go then..." he says walking over to the staircase going upwards. "Gee, this thing looks like it could spontaneously rise and wreck us with bony rage... I hope nobody gets any brain aneurysms..."

Split looked at DNR then looked back at himself, a single strand of the curly black hair entered his vision. Slowly he felt around the top of his head then grasped tightly and attempted to rip the afro off with a single, solid, jerk.

Meanwhile he begrudgingly followed the other two up the staircase that was mental's insanity.

Splitman succeeds-

-in causing himself a great deal of pain.

Apparently the afro is real, for the moment.

Splitman, DNR, and Mental trek up the long, winding staircase for what seems like hours- and then they reach the peak. A single point atop the mountain, with a... golden... pineapple... impaled upon it.

Of note is the fact that there's an actual platform surrounding the peak which was also not there before...

"We're here, my Grecolian allies!" Mental says, pleased with himself. "So... LET'S DISCO PARTY!" A large disco ball, hanging from a rope attached to seemingly nothing, drops down to about 5 feet above Mental's head; the entire area actually darkens, and the disco ball begins to reflect sparkles of light all over everything...

...despite there being no light sources to produce such sparkles. Mental himself, however, merely begins to dance.

Chad's communications came in "How are you -oh" Before cutting themselves off

Twenty minutes later they also came in "What about -oh" He began asking before cutting himself off again

30 minutes after that - "Now you - oh" He began to ask one final time "I'll be... going out for a bit... call my cell or something if you need me for the next couple hours"



Two and a half hours after the start Splitman finally reached the top... Only to find Mental's consistent insanity was still taking hold. Split looked at the disco ball and in a moment of concentrated rage fired a bolt of energy at it. The bolt was colored red for some reason this time and his hand emitted more smoke than was normal... not that it really mattered to him at the moment. "We here or not? Do we have to keep going further because I hate disco so very.. very... much" Splitman shouted

Summary:
Buster Shot(40): Disco Ball
3 Auto-Dodges...?

"It's a... Pineapple... huh...Well at least we can make some good Pina Colada!" DNR shrugged with a smile as he sat on the platform at the top, bobbing with his bouncy afro head as he danced with the musical accompaniment.

The red bolt of energy strikes the disco ball-

-sending out streaks of similar red energy in every which direction.

"HIT THE DECK!" Mental shouts, suddenly huddled under a sturdy-looking desk. The beams fire outward for around a minute; normal prisms don't work like this...

Amazingly, none of them hit Mental, DNR, or Splitman. The surrounding area seems okay too-

"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" Mental cries, on his knees and gazing forlornly at the golden pineapple.

Or what used to be the golden pineapple, anyway. Now all that's there is a golden, burnt husk...

Mental is suddenly on his feet, facing Splitman with an unnatural rage in his eyes, red sparks of energy lashing out violently in every which direction from the straitjacket-bound navi's body. YOU... The voice comes from everywhere and nowhere all at once, but it is most definitely focused on Splitman... YOOOOOUUUU!

One of the energy sparks strikes the area directly next to Splitman, searing a small hole into the platform.

Whoops.

Mental: 1400

DNR: 240

Splitman: 120

Terrain: Medium-sized platform with a spike in the center; DNR, Mental, and Splitman are all on one side of the spike. The platform has no railings or edges, and a small, navi-sized hole is to the direct left of Splitman. DNR is a bit to Mental's right, and Mental is floating facing Splitman. A sturdy-looking desk sits between Splitman and Mental.

"Interesting" Splitman said, the rage now gone from him "Not that it really matters because you could likely trivially kill me or recreate this thing." He added, covering for himself a bit. "I bet you have the ability to make giant pineapples just" Splitman snapped "With a snap of your fingers"

"Close one though, eh?"

While talking Split slowly gathered in the energy around him focusing it on the location. He waited though for the moment in which Mental snapped his fingers. As soon as he did that, he would unleash the energy into the area of the giant pineapple and bring it back to health.

Summary:
Positive Energy Infusion: Strengthen 75 Healing
Positive Energy Mastery: Grant Splash and Spread to 75 healing
Healing Buster Shot: Heal 2 sections of surface pineapple for 75 and 95, heal rest for 37
Pray

"Nice job ruining the flow Splitman... mail me a postcard from Net-heaven, I'll be here reading this interesting medical/scientific magazine." DNR said, a hand resting his head as he takes out a magazine and starts reading it. "Huh.... radio waves as the new net? Preposterous!"

Actions
1. N
2. A
3. D
4. A

Mental snapped his 'fingers', yes. But the moment he did, an incredibly violent-looking orb of the red energy that had sparked about his form before gathered in the palm of his 'hand'; the energy almost seemed to be fighting some invisible control, trying to burst forth even unbidden...

Splitman tries in vain to 'heal' the pineapple. It doesn't do anything, not that Mental would have noticed.

Who... wants... PAAAAAANCAAAAAAAAAKES?!

Mental charges, orb-wielding-'hand'-first, at Splitman. Splitman closes his eyes out of reflex-

-and feels a prodding on his chest. Splitman opens his eyes to find Mental munching on a stack of pancakes, (Literally, a whole stack crammed into an almost comedically oversized mouth) with a 'hand'' outstretched to offer one to Splitman.

Mental pauses for a moment, then stuffs the offered pancake into his mouth, and swallows the lot. "That's for wrecking my disco party!" Mental says, as though that somehow explains everything. "Now let's go back to MAH PAD!" Mental's head jerks violently to the side, the motion accompanied by a loud, crack-like sound, and the nutcase of a navi spits something on the floor.

The mysterious substance does nothing for a moment, then expands into another portal, which Mental hops into.

...

"..... mmh, death of chloresterol.... interesting way to vent out frustration but!" DNR says as he gets up with a jovial smile. "Well off we go your pad! We can have some wine tasting delights afterwards there!" he says towards Mental as he followed suit towards the portal.

A look of both relief and stunning anguish swept over Splitman's face when he realized he was still alive. He.. he wasn't even capable of logical anger or acts of simple revenge... It wasn't even mercy... it was just... lunacy.

Splitman attempted to choke out something to say, but only managed to stammer as he walked through the portal behind the others.