Escort Mission

From the distance a shape.. or a navi rather.. could be seen running toward the location. It bore an unusual design, being made stout with a single massive energy weapon attached to its side. The red and black color scheme made it seem as though it was attempting to be evil. When it finally arrived at the location it immediately stood at attention.

"Support has arrived" It said, looking for the navi it was supposed to escort.
((Two choices:

A: Wait for DNR. (Or rather, ALBEL WHO HAS NOT POSTED IN DNR'S THREAD)

B: Don't wait for DNR, effectively booting him from the mission.

Your choice.))
((A, with a heavy preference towards DNR's topic advancing without Albel unless he has a damn good excuse. It is just rude to make someone wait that long.))
"Ahahahahaahhhh!... Goodbye Kitty! I just can't believe it!"

The voice said, growing in volume as time passed, in a matter of seconds, a quick pillar of electricity fell from the sky, signaling the navi's arrival. "I-I just can't believe of all the masks!" the madman proclaimed as he doubled over, his sides aching with tears in his eyes.

"... Are you done with the laughing? We have support to do..." Polonius said, his voice sounding a bit deeper from the acoustics of the mask.

"F-fine then Kitty Kat... heheh... ookay okay... I'm good, I'm good. Alright then..." DNR says with his hands on his hips. "Where's this navi we have to babysit?"
The two navis acknowledged each other for maybe a tenth of a second before a loud cry pierced the silence.

"It's ravioli time in my computer!"

It is a voice DNR knows from somewhere...

Splitman heard a noise behind him, and turned just in time to be bowled over by a person-sized, translucent green hamster ball, which he stuck to as it rolled towards DNR. The hamster ball stopped just short of DNR, flinging Splitman into him, and the figure inside wiggled its way over to a small panel, hitting it with its... head.

A small hatch popped open on the side of the hamster ball, and Mental.exe stuck his head out, looking around. He quickly noticed DNR and Splitman, and hopped out, walking over to them. "YOOOOOUUUU!" Mental shouted, gesturing with his shoulder toward DNR. He picked DNR up with- nothing, seemingly, and pulled the navi over to him. "Hi~!"
"Actually, I kinda prefer the peanut butter and Jell....y... to my.. pas... ta...." he said progressively getting slower as he starts remembering who exactly came for a playdate. "Is it really him? I didn't think I'd see him so... Jesus Wullems Christ on a cracker! what the heck is that!?" he screamed in his head as he sees the gigantic hamster ball reaching towards him.

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A small hatch popped open on the side of the hamster ball, and Mental.exe stuck his head out, looking around. He quickly noticed DNR and Splitman, and hopped out, walking over to them. "YOOOOOUUUU!" Mental shouted, gesturing with his shoulder toward DNR. He picked DNR up with- nothing, seemingly, and pulled the navi over to him. "Hi~!"


"MEEEEEEEEEE!? Ah!" he replied as he was picked like a cherry towards the navi called Mental. DNR simply petted the boy with a smile "Well now, was this ball for your protection or something? It looks so damn cool! I'd love to get one of these!"
Splitman stared
Chad stared
At some point long after, Split finally remembered to close his gaping mouth. Some time later Chad remembered aswell. Only response could be uttered that Chad could think of "You are on your own, I will Slot in chips you might need sometimes.... uh... good luck" became a cold reminder to Split that he actually had a mission to complete.

"Sir... I...." Splitman stammered before slamming his mouth shut. First impressions were everything and he had already screwed it up. No matter... "I am sure today will be interesting... where are we off to?" He completed, trying to look as dignified as possible while in a body that basically screamed hired thug. His words were true though... today would definitely be... interesting...
"It belonged to the conquistador of Talos IV's 256th moon!" Mental said, voice filled with pride. He twitched.

The hamster ball suddenly exploded from inside, bits of what looked like plastic raining down on everything in the general area- except for the three navis. The pieces merely bounced off of them, seeming to rebound off of something invisible a few inches from striking them. "AND NOW IT'S GONE! HA HA HA HA HA!"

Mental spun on his heel to face Splitman, and stared him in the eyes. The whites of Mental's eyes burst violently into a random torrent of swirling colors and patterns as he stared at Splitman...

And then Mental blinked, and had disappeared.

Splitman heard a shout from behind him-- "LET'S GO... THIS WAY!" He turned to look. Sure enough, Mental was running off in a completely random direction.

...And quickly gaining distance.

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"It belonged to the conquistador of Talos IV's 256th moon!" Mental said, voice filled with pride. He twitched.

The hamster ball suddenly exploded from inside, bits of what looked like plastic raining down on everything in the general area- except for the three navis. The pieces merely bounced off of them, seeming to rebound off of something invisible a few inches from striking them. "AND NOW IT'S GONE! HA HA HA HA HA!"


"Ta-T-T-Talos?! B-but space pirates own that thing!" DNR says flailing his arms in distress. "I won't be able to get one from that! Not even if I somehow be able to beat some kinda cybernetic dragon monster thing with a whip-like tail!" When the explosion happened, a slight twitch happened upon DNR's right eye, which stopped as he started running about, screaming "Daaaaaaaaahhahahhhhhhh....... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhahahahhhhh!" A few more wails later, he sniffed twice as he lamented the loss of the hamster ball. "It... it was such a cool ball too..." But as arupt and as quickly his period grief happened, it was quickly over as he cheered up, smiling with utter glee as he ran towards the blissful Mafia navi, as fast as non-overclocking techniques would let him go although. "Wait for meeeee!
Split looked about the location awkwardly......
The guy was just in front of him, but he clearly... teleported?
Perhaps he was an illusionist, but either way Split was following. He took several steps in the direction, carefully, then bounded off after the insane navi. "If I ever figure out what the hell these people are talking about, so help me god... I'll... something" He muttered as he chased after the Navi, steps echoing behind him.
And so the two idiots and merc DNR, Mental, and Splitman ran off in random directions for around an hour, following Mental's whims.

"HO, GENTS! PUMPKIN SOMBREROS!" Mental stopped, pointing a ghostly, wisp-like finger in a direction completely different from the one they had been running in. Our hapless heroes DNR and Splitman turned to look-

-And sure enough, there were pumpkins wearing sombreros.

And wielding knives.

What?

PumpkinSombrero A: ???
PumpkinSombrero B: ???
PumpkinSombrero C: ???
PumpkinSombrero D: ???
PumpkinSombrero E: ???
PumpkinSombrero F: ???

Mental: 1400
DNR: 240
Splitman: 120

Out of nowhere, 'Salsa' plays. The two navis turn towards the source just in time to see a red boombox slip behind a grinning Mental's back.

You get the feeling he would wave if he could use his arms.

((Note: Ignore the video, just listen to the music.))
The bustling beats of Mental's boombox had affected DNR in an interesting way, his hips swaying from side to side. The rhythm gained then coursed upwards, from his hips to his stomach following his hips to his shoulders which carried those vibes towards his elbows and hands. His whole body starts to shake as he starts dancing around the place, making dear Polonius shake his masked face.

"Mind turning on the translator function to Spanish, kitty?" he says swaying his butt left to right as Polonius adheres himself, turning the PET's language function into Spanish. A quick flash from the Link PET and everything was ready, from E-mail to E-Corerro, from Net navigator to Navegador neto. "Aaaaahhoooraaaa....." the navi's voice said in a clearly different tone. "Es por fin... tiempo para la fiestaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrraaaaahhh!"

"Pero antes...!" he says twirling his right index finger in a circle. "Vamos a necesitar estas Virutas... la bomba de fuego... la pistola de fuego... Ah y el Brazo del taladro, ese Viruta es muy importante!"

".....What? What did you say?" he says with a scratch on his noggin as he looked at his chips. Soon, he was deep in thought about the words said "Hmmm... 'bomba' sounds a lot like bomb... I think he means that firebomb chip... I remember fuego being fire from high school... but that last chip sounds weird.... What could it be..." he says, looking at his navi as he slotted the two chips.

"EL BRAZO DEL TALADRO! EL BRAZO DEL TALADRO!" he screamed forth, pulling back and forth his pelvis in a thrusting motion "Bra!...zo!...de!l... taladro!"

".... Ohhhh! The drill!" he finally understood as he slotted in the last chip, giving a sigh in relief as he scratched his head.

The music flowing within the flamboyant navi, he starts swinging his hips yet again, saying in a singing voice "Salsa, salsa ritmo que da vida que todos escuchan
que el mundo quiere bailar, Salsa...." He grinned devilishly as he threw the bomb towards the sombrero wearing hoodlums, continuing in his voice "Ven para bailar
mi salsa! Ven para cantar, mi salsa para reir mama! Mi salsa ven para baiiilarrrrr...". He twirled two times, hitting the middle virus with his "Pistola del fuego". "La salsa que aquí les traigo... la traigo directo mira... la traigo de las entrañas de mi américa Latinaaaaa!" he blurts out, drilling towards the last set of viruses. He simply danced away, hoping his song is a nice distraction.

Summary
1. Firebomb2 to PumpkinSombreroA (100 + Burn)
2. Heatshot (Fire. 40 + Spread 1) to PumpkinSombreroC
3. DrillArm1 (60 + Breaking + Knockback + Piercing) to PumpkinSombreroE and F
4. Dodge
"Oh god F***ing damnit" Split shouted as soon as he heard the music kick in. There was no way in hell he was letting this go on for long, not THIS... Quietly he outstretched his hands, one last act before his gently slipping rage. As though out of nowhere, 8 small targeting beacons shot out, latching themselves to the... pumpkins... The tiny beacons blinked on and off, tiny pulses of red flashing, the light reflecting brightly in Splitman's eyes. "Target lock enabled" Splitman said to himself quietly, mostly ignoring his.. companion's.. idiocy.

Moments later he gave into the rage. His arm detached with that cold grinding sound of metal on metal and snapping wires which every construction worker dreads. As his left arm swung out of it's socket, Split jumped directed by DNR, his arm swinging over the Navi's head on its way towards a collision with each of the beacons in turn. The cold metal made a louder crunching sound with each successive impact until finally the arm broke, too deformed to even be an effective club.

The final virus, attached to the final beacon stood before him. Split went to swing his arm at the target before realizing that it wouldn't reach it. As if in answer, Chad sent down one of his usual chip combinations. Without though, a cactball materialized directly infront of Split, as his arm detached limb transformed into some sort of cannon. Without a moments thoughts he fired as the ball fell in front of the barrel, sending a flaming cactus-ball-thing towards the remaining target.

The detached limb reverted to normal but remained smoking ominously.

Summary:
1: Lock-On: Take Aim on A-F Once B Three Times
2: Red Out: 7 Buster Attacks: A-E: Once(40) Except B: Three Times(40x3)
3+4: Cactball(20x3, Wood)+Heatshot(40+Fire+Spread) Fire flaming cactball at PumpkinSombrero F
All Attacks Count as having taken the 'take aim' action first.
DNR and Splitman attack the Pumpkin Sombreros with their various attacks and blasts and fireballs--

--none of them seem particularly effected, though... Hell, the only visible difference, aside from the Pumpkin Sombreros now advancing on the team, is that one is on fire.

Hm.

Mental, meanwhile, just sort of does a little jig around his boombox that vaguely resembles a sort of dance...

PumpkinSombrero A: ???
PumpkinSombrero B: ???
PumpkinSombrero C: ???
PumpkinSombrero D: ???
PumpkinSombrero E: ???
PumpkinSombrero F: ???

Mental: 1400
DNR: 240
Splitman: 120
"Okay! Ya vasta Voy a hacer la unica cosa que puede ayudar en esta situasion!" DNR exclaimed with a fist towards the sky. "Ellll.... Poderrrrr.... Del.... Baileeeeeeeeeee hahahahaaaaahhh!" He continued dancing along to the song playing, not really attacking or doing anything relevant. He swayed his hips, shaking his hands like maracas. He hummed in unison with the musical melody as he continued, moving side to side with the Mafia Navi Mental as he did so.

"Soo umm... what are you gonna do now DNR?" Polonius asked as he watched DNR dancing along.

"Que?" was DNR's reply. Either he didn't understand English, or he was just not paying attention as he continued singing. "El día que estes llorando, y tu alma se encuentre triste si bailas salsa! Mi hermano olvidarás que lo fuiste Salsa, salsa ritmo que da vida que todos escuchan que el mundo quiere bailar, Salsa. Ven para bailar... mi salsa! Ven para cantar mi salsa, para reir mama mi salsa ven para gozar..."

The brown-skinned, kitty mask-wearing med student gave a bit of a sigh as he looked at the two dancers. Still wearing his mask, the shy med student asked towards Mental, "Um-mm... excuse me, Mister Mental? I-is there a point t-to t-he salsa dancing? I mean... it's not like I dislike salsa it's just that.... You know what, forget I asked, sorry to have disturbed ya... murrr..." he said, looking away from the window as he tried to understand this situation as best as he could.

Summary
1. Dodge
2. Dodge
3. Dodge
4. Dodaaaayyyyeayyyayayayaaayyeeeehhh!
"Must.. be... a way..." Splitman strained out as he clenched his fists in rage. The gesture looked especially awkward as he was holding one hand in another... with one arm detached... That thought, however, did not dawn on him. Instead, an entirely different thought dawned on him. Perhaps if they were disarmed he might have a chance....

He looked at his assortment of chips that Chad had probobly randomly given him. A cannon, a minibomb, a rageclaw. Any one of them would likely be useless but together they were merely terrible.

First he got rid of the cannon, firing a single shot at the lead.. pumpkin..'s knife. The bolt of energy moved faster than his eyes could follow, but he dared not waste time watching. Immediately he began running towards the next one down the row. As his arm transformed into a viscous claw, it occurred to him that he had no idea what to do and he was about to get into the attack range of these things. Immediately he stumbled, but recovered, causing to accelerate even faster towards the knife wielding vegetable. In order to avoid a collision he jumped, a shockingly graceful forward flip above the enemy's head. As he twisted in the air above it he slashed at his arm, grasping at anything in reach. Unfortunately, he was only within the range of the hat. His talons clenched in on the prize as he landed more or less safely on the opposite side.

"Meh!" He exclaimed forcefully as he dropped the minibomb and hurled everything in hand towards the next closest.. pumpkin...

If things continued like this, perhaps he was better off being killed by these things.

Summary:
Cannon(40): Shoot Knife out of A's hand
Advanced Mobility: While doing a Flip over B grab and tear off hat with
RageClaw(40):
Place Minibomb(60) in hat: Throw at C using rageclaw
Dodge if able

Sumarry:
Splitman messes with the Pumpkin Sombreros, prompting them to-

...disappear.

Literally, they're just gone. The music stops, as well.

Mental lets out a loud yawn. "Well, that was tofu! Let's go!" He grins, walking forward a few steps. He suddenly flips over, landing upon his head, and starts sliding off in a random direction. "LET US GOOOOOO!" He cries, speeding off...

...on his HEAD.

Okay...
"....Eso era genial!" DNR finally said after saying nothing for a while. He then skipped merrily along behind Mental as they go in yet another random direction. "Yo solamente pienso si alguen aqui sabes a donde nosotros vamos! Ahahaahhhh!" he asks out loud correctly, for what could really appear next? Chicken Suit wearing Spikeys? Metools disguised as cacti?

Subtitles

1. "... That was awesome!"

2. "I only wonder if anybody here knows where we're going! Ahahahah!"
"We gaan naar je moeder's huis! HA HA HA!" Mental replied, spinning around on his head as he slid along. "Misschien vinden we zelfs iets interessants genoeg om die saaie kaktus Gedeelde Man blij te houden!"

Well, if Splitman had been confused before, this probably would just make matters worse...
".... Que? Que dijiste?" The suprisingly bewildered DNR said, continuing his skip as the trio of travelers tread along places known and unknown. "Yo necessito a saber? Ohhh no... es la fiesta tuya por supuesto!"

Subtitles

1. "... What? What did you say?"

2. " I need to know? Orrr not... it is after all your party!"