OUI: Net Edition

They die.

-VICTORY-
Get: 900z
Rass blinked in surprise as he surveyed the field of tubular green shoots that had erupted all around him. Mangled remaints of Metools littered the area, their tiny black bodies impaled upon the bamboo spikes. Reaching out at first to touch one of the tiny helmets, he quickly changed his mind as the tiny virus gave an involuntary, postmortem shudder.

Whimpering ever so slightly, the fusion navi tiptoed away from the Metool mass grave and continued traversing the Television network.

((Battle 5))
Oh, boy.
Seeing the shoots of bamboo popping out of the ground, a figure swipes in from the sky. Riding a massive Boomer virus like a twisted surfboard, the heelnavi looks vastly more competent than most. Pointing at Rass, the Heelnavi speaks in a gravelly, guttural tone.
Oy, you! You do that? Anyone willing to take down viruses as weak as those with such power is obviously deserving of a fight with one such as myself! Normally, I'd face you with my brother, but he's busy with some weaklings a distance over. Plus, you don't look too tough. So bring it on, shrimpy! The foe taunted, pulling away on his virus. Plugging a rather complicated looking line of battlechip code into the ground, all area around Rass drops away, apart from a roughly 5 foot radius circle around where he was standing.

BoomerRider: 450 HP

Rass: 93 HP

Terrain: A roughly 10-foot wide circular platform is the only area Rass has to walk, with chasms of unknown depths having formed around his position. All enemies are over the holes surrounding him. (Percentages: 25% Normal, 75% Hole)

-BATTLE 5! FIGHT!-
"Wh-What?!" protested Rass, putting his arms up defensively in an apologetic gesture, "No! No! You m-misunderstand! You see, those were actually EX-class Metools, which m-means that th-they're a lot stronger! Th-that and I d-didn't h-have any choice as t-to what type of b-battlechip to use! My netOp is a little bit intoxicated, you see, and..."

At that instant, Argo's voice overrode Rass' audio transmitters, cutting off the fusion navi mid-sentence. "...and you can go straight to hell, you pussy little flying retard!" yelled the melee subsystem, his presence simultaneously leaking into Rass' left hand and delivering a rather rude gesture with the fusion navi's fingers. As Rass' optical sensors completed their point scan and the opponent's technical specifications arrayed themselves out in front of him, Argo smiled. "BoomerRider, huh? Cute name, jackass! How about I ride YOU, then shove that retarded green boomerang straight into your nice, tight...

"Hole!" screeched a panicked Rass, quickly overpowering Argo's control and pointing in fear toward the gaping pit that the BoomerRider had created. With only a few scant panels with which to move about upon, Rass quickly realized what a terrible situation he was in. He whimpered as he crawled to the end of his shrinking platform, peering down over the edge with fearful pink eyes. Argo! Why did you have to antagonize him?! he thought resignedly, I'm sure if we just explained what had happened and how drunk Suien was, we'd be able to escape with our lives!

Have you no pride, Rasshole?! You're more cowardly than I ever imagined! roared Argo, swirling onto Rass' back and glaring upward toward the circling BoomerRider, No wonder Suien's so ashamed of you! He thinks you're as weak as this retard does! The green-eyed warrior narrowed the eyes on Rass' back, as he assessed the situation. The obvious solution to this screw-head is to just crush his little face in, so get Suien to load up on those Melee chips and blast away!

NEGATIVE, ARGO! PROPOSED TECHNIQUES CARRY A STRONG RISK OF FAILURE GIVEN THE INDETERMINATE DEPTH OF THE SURROUNDING CHASM. yelled Ishamel, swirling onto Rass' back and gazing upward, THE CORRECT SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM LIES IN LOW-POWER, HIGH ACCURACY GUN-TYPE CHIPS TO STRIKE AT CRITICAL POINTS OF THE BOOMER'S STRUCTURE! QUOTE POP CULTURE "LOCK AND LOAD" UNQUOTE AND QUOTE POP CULTURE "PREPARE TO ROLL OUT" UNQUOTE!

Guys, guys, guys, muttered Tem, sidling up between the two louder subsystems on Rass' back and eyeing the BoomerRider suspiciously, The plans you propose are both shortsighted and poorly conceived. Obviously, the best strategy to use is a tactical mixture of maneuvers designed to knock that guy off of his mount into the pit below! I've already selected a few choice battlechips that can quite easily serve that purpose, and if you'll allow me to upload the technical specifications to Suien, it'll all work out.

Oh, great plan Tem, but you forgot one thing interrupted Argo, rolling his eyes sarcastically as he spoke, If we just punch him off his mount, we accomplish the exact same thing without all the trouble.

NEGATIVE! NEGATIVE! SUPPORT UNITS TEM AND ARGO ARE MALFUNCTIONING! argued Ishamel, KNOCKING OFF ENEMY UNIT BOOMERRIDER DOES NOT GUARANTEE SUCCESS. ONLY HIGH ACCURACY GUN-TYPE CHIPS ENABLE PRECISION TARGETTING OF SUBJECT'S MOUNT. THEREFORE, WE PREPARE FOR ALL CONTINGIENCIES BY FOLLOWING MY PLAN OF ACTION!

Ishamel dear, you're ignoring the crucial component of my plan! You see...

NEGATIVE! NEGATIVE!

Plan Shman! Let's get to beating!

Dammit Argo, can't you shut up and think for just two seconds? Listen to me...

"HEY MORONS!" laughed a vaguely familiar voice, "How about you all shut up about how stupid you are, and start talking about how awesome I am?!" Instantly, all three subsystems instantly ceased their argument, rotating around to the front of the now-standing Rass' chest and gazing up at the navi's face. Though the burning crimson aura obscured their vision somewhat, there was no mistaking what the fusion navi had done in their absence.

Oh no, moaned Tem.

OUTCOME UNDESIRED, agreed Ishamel.

Freaking AWESOME! shouted Argo.

Mass stood tall on the precarious pedestal, arms crossed, floating ever so slightly in the air by the blazing force of his energy. The familiar crimson aura burned brightly around him as he opened his blood-red eyes and surveyed his latest opponent. Unfolding his burly arms, he let out a powerful-sounding laugh as he arrogantly thumped his chest in challenge. "Pah, looks like we got ourselves a little stringbean on his retarded little surfboard!" he said, brushing his brown, spiky hair out of his eyes and flashing a cocky smile, "This won't be any trouble for Mass - the Mega-Ultimate of Champion! I've trained for eons to achieve the power that I now possess, and now, my peerless physique will crush all who oppose me in a blaze of glory!" Turning sharply toward the BoomerRider, Mass gave the airborne opponent a thumbs down with one hand as he brought the other around to the side of his head. "Scanner woman! Tell me the fighting index of this loser, and make it snappy!"

You know, if you'd just bother to check the memory records from THIRTY SECONDS AGO, you'd know that he possesses an HP index of approximately 4.5 times our own, and his damage output is...

"Bah, memory is for the weak, just like thinking, strategy, and women!" he laughed, thrusting a fist forward and sending a shower of sparks in its wake, "No wonder you're all weaklings! Real men strategize with their fists, and don't you forget it!"

-*-

Outside, Suien could do absolutely nothing but stare at his PET in horror. His head definitely was throbbing, but unfortunately, this time it wasn't just the alcohol to blame. Why had Rass decided to utilize the Melee Augmented Synthesis System now of all times? He should have known that his netOp couldn't deal with Mass' complete lack of strategy in his current condition! Glancing around the bar for a moment, Suien sighed, withdrew a pair of battlechips, and slid them painfully into the PET tray. Well, at least the crowd seems to like him... he muttered, glancing toward the cheering crowd with a mixture of disgust and nausea, Man, why did I jack into that TV in the first place?

-*-

Hey Tem, I don't know about this, protested Argo as electric energy surged through the 3L3M system and into Mass' foot, I still think we should just let Mass just beat the living crap out of that guy. I mean, we didn't have any trouble the last time that he came out.

Well, the last time Mass came out, we weren't trapped with a bottomless pit on all sides of us! countered Tem, Unless you want to end up a fusion pancake, I suggest you stop your whining and initialize that system! As "all-powerful" as that chowderhead is, he can't fly. Remember that.

Mass, for his part, barely noticed the elemental energy leaking out from his body through his foot, even as it formed a large steel block behind him. All his attention was focused on the apparently unperturbed heelnavi as he squared his legs and flexed his arms. "I can tell you're already scared! What's wrong?" he asked, a coy smile crossing his features, "You're about to find out what it's like to fight a real Super Savior!"

Instantly, the crimson aura turned a brilliant shade of white, erupted outward and upward, extending the entire length of the circular platform and engulfing the fusion navi with even brighter flames than before. Crimson bolts of lightning snaked across his body, and Mass' hair stood straight up on end, turning a bright shade of silver in the process. The mighty fighter's cocky smile only grew wider as he moved his head to one side in a challenging gesture... until the large yellow shield materialized itself onto his right arm. "What the hell?!" he cried, tearing the metallic disc off of his hand, tossing it carelessly to the side, and turning up toward the sky to angrily address Suien. "Super Saviors don't use shields! Shields are for the weak!" he yelled, crimson lightning punctuating each word as it cackled across his body. "You're just lucky you're on the other side of this PET, four-eyes, cause otherwise, I'd knock you straight to Netopia!"

Without any warning, Mass turned toward the boomerang rider and extended his right arm, collecting the MarkCannon's charge deep into the palm of his hand before dispensing it in a single, high-accuracy lance of energy that cast several shadows across the battlefield. "You shouldn't play with power, or you'll just get... power... burned!" he laughed, steeling his body for an inevitable counterattack, "That's the way of the warrior, you BoomerRetard!!"

-*-

There you go... predictable as always, Mass, muttered Tem under her breath as she adjusted the field surrounding the terraformed magnet block, You're lucky I need your body to live, Rass, otherwise I'd let you burn for trying something so reckless.

0: Activate Level 2 MeleeCross (+20 HP, Fire/Break, +15 to Fire chips, +1 Speed)
1: Terraformer Elec (Create 60 HP Magnet Block, Attracts up to 2 non-elec units per turn, surrounded by steel panels)
2: Throw Guard2 away. Shields are for the weak!
3: MarkCannon1 to BoomerRider (70)
4/5: Autododge

Magnet Block: Attract Guard2, protect Magnet Block
(Oh... my... freaking... god. ROFL.)

Super Savior MASS activate! Shields are for the weak, and phrases like such, rule the day! Unimpressed (though he should be) the BoomerRider swerves to target the new Terraformer and MASS and orders his virus to fire. The massive boomerang breaks apart the shields on the Terraformer, but misses the... heroic? navi as he dodges, and fires off a Markcannon blast directly into the maw of the beast. Unbalanced, the rider falls off, only to have the boomer swerve down to catch him before catching its boomerang in its mouth once more. He raises his fist, yelling at MASS.
Is that all you've got, Shrimp? I've seen stronger Metools than you!

BoomerRider: 380 HP

Rass: 93 HP

Terrain: A roughly 10-foot wide circular platform is the only area Rass has to walk, with chasms of unknown depths having formed around his position. All enemies are over the holes surrounding him. (Percentages: 25% Normal, 75% Hole)
"Stronger Metools? STRONGER METOOLS?!" roared Mass, thumping his chest with a massive fist, "You're a damn moron if you think I've been using my full power all this time! I know I shouldn't expect a maggot like you to understand the true might of a Super Savior, but the fact that you're still alive seems like a mockery of natural selection!" Mass planted his feet into the ground and intensified his aura, pointing a gauntleted finger toward the offender, and smiling a mirthless smile. "Of course," he said seriously, red eyes flashing with intensity, "What's the point of having absolute power if you're too cowardly to see it through? Well, Mr. BoomerRetard, you asked for it!" Clenching his right fist tightly, he began channeling an obscene amount of heat energy into his hand, causing it to become obscured by a blinding crimson glow. Mass laughed arrogantly as he crouched down, prepared to engage his airborne opponent in a glorious show of power.

"Believe it!" he cried, "I'm gonna burn you to pieces with the blazing fury of my fighting spirit!"

-*-

The interior workings of the fusion navi, however, were no laughing matter. All three subsystems frantically darted around the interior of Mass' body, struggling to maintain control as the self-proclaimed "Super Savior" overworked his own internal circuitry to near ruination. The 3L3M system was overclocked to nearly six times its optimal operating capacity, the fusionist protoplasm rippled with shockwaves from the high-powered core, and the pain restrictions had been elevated to the point where Mass was literally destroying himself with each passing second. Tem shot through the internal circuitry at lightning speed, spreading her influence throughout the body like wildfire and making an effort to correct the overclocked variables. Ishamel too, took control of the central monitoring unit and relayed shouts of "FUSIONIST PROTOPLASM AT 85% AND DROPPING!", "INTERNAL TEMPERATURE HAS BEEN RAISED TO UNACCEPTABLE LEVELS!", and "THE ACTIONS OF MASS ARE IRRATIONAL! IT IS HIGHLY PROBABLE THAT HE WILL KILL US ALL!" Even Argo, normally so supportive of the Rass' pugilistic alter-ego, forced himself to tear away from watching Mass' taunts to inhabit the 3L3M system and donate his own system resources toward stabilizing the power differential. Complain all you want guys, he muttered, to nobody in particular, I still think Mass is going about this the correct way.

-*-

Suien's fingers flew through his folder as he frantically searched its pages for the two battlechips that would help rectify the situation. He didn't pretend to understand all the finer inner workings of the fusion navi (he had slept through those classes at the university), but he knew that what Mass was doing was essentially suicide. Withdrawing the goldenrod ElecReel, he held it up to the tiny screen for Tem to see. "Hey, Tem? How about an Electric-type battlechip?" he asked, cocking his read face to the side, "Electricity is almost fire, right? Maybe that'll work just as well!"

Suien, it doesn't work like that! protested Tem, her shrill voice erupting from the PET microphone, Look, Mass is siphoning off our energy resources into a single concentrated area, essentially overloading the entire system! Unless we can get an additional compatible source of power for him to suck on, it'll completely ruin our internal circuitry! That means it's the firehits, or nothing else — there's no substitute for thermal energy when it comes to... Tem froze as Mass began his movement, then turned back to Suien with a panicked look in her eyes.

Suien! Cancel everything I just said! I need... the Airshot! Send the Airshot! Hurry!


-*-

Bah, those idiots take too long, thought Mass, as he started off toward the BoomerRider's position and clenched his overpowered fist to his side, It looks like I've got to do all the awesome stuff on my own! The blazing aura billowed in the wind as he brushed his silvery hair to the side and increased his speed, rapidly approaching the end of the small platform and crouching down to begin his leap. Mass smiled confidently as he tensed his legs, fully prepared to make the leap of faith toward the floating adversary.

NOW! cried Tem, discharging the Airshot battlechip through Mass' feet and propelling him on an adjusted trajectory toward the BoomerRider. The tactical subsystem sighed in relief as she felt Mass' legs uncurl in sync with the Airshot as the blazing fighter shot across the abyss in a leap of faith that would have made Evel Knievel jealous. Raising his fist to his side, Mass flew through the air, his fist now emitting a crimson glow as the Firehits worked their magic, compounding the fire-type energies upon themselves. Streaks of red lightning burst from his fingertips as Mass clenched his fist even tighter and brought it close to his face. DANGER! DANGER! shouted Ishamel, keenly aware of the risks associated with the maneuver as they sailed over the gaping chasm, THE RIGHT HAND UNIT APPEARS TO BE RADIATING A CRIMSON-HUED LIGHT DUE TO THE DRASTIC TEMPRATURE INCREASE!

"How observant!" roared Mass, drawing the hand back in preparation for his strike, "Its loud roar is telling me to grasp victory!"

THAT'S NOT THE POINT! protested Ishamel, glancing worriedly between the BoomerRider and the gaping pit.

Time seemed to move in slow-motion as Mass reached the apex of his airshot-assisted lunge, his fierce red eyes focused entirely on the airborne opponent. His hand, charged with the combined force of two Firehit battlechips and the full force of MeleeMan's signature technique, moved through the air, seeking the unfortunate face of the purple Heelnavi. His fingers tingled in anticipation, the blazing force of the blow held tight within the confines of his flesh until the last possible instant. Mass roared victoriously as he thrust the brilliant fist forward, sending a blinding flash of energy through the air, bathing the entire battlefield in crimson light.

-*-

...I'm...falling... Rass thought from the back of Mass' mind as he felt himself plummeting into the abyss, Did Mass do it? Did we win? I really hope we won, but I guess it doesn't matter one way or another. Mass felt his eyes close as he gazed upward toward the sky, the wind causing his cape to wrap around his burly arms. After all, it was MeleeMan's power that made this possible. It looks like we... no... it looks like I was useless in... well, in the end. Mass felt one of his arms raise toward the sky as he continued to fall, his smoldering fingers sending a wisplike trail of smoke into the air. We're... doomed...

...

Not if I have anything to say about it, Rass! yelled Tem, sending battlechip data through Mass' entire body. Mass felt the particles of his body being transformed into transferable data the tactical subsystem integrated his body across the Television network. AREAGRAB SYSTEM, INITIALIZE!


1: Airshot-assisted leap toward BoomerRider
2-3-4: "Definitely not Burning Finger" attack (Firehit1 (75) + Firehit1 (75) + Soul Fist Uppercut (70) = 220 Fire Damage (440 if BoomerRider is Grass-type) and reduce accuracy)
5: Areagrab back to platform
(Just realized: I didn't add the MeleeHP last turn. Fixed.)

The soul fist uppercut combo bashes the rider off of his virus, falling into the chasm below and being seen to EJO in the far distance.

-Victor... wha?

Suddenly, the massive boomerang shoots by Rass once more. Turning, the navi sees the massive boomer with the remainder of its rider's HP, spikes having shot out of it everywhere.

SpikedBoomer: 180 HP

Rass: 117 HP
Mass looked dazed and confused as he slowly stirred atop the precarious platform, clutching his head and adjusting his wobbly sense of balance. The last thing he remembered was crushing that annoying purple punk's face in with a punch as strong as God, then falling into the abyss in the aftermath of his glorious charge. The joke would be on the BoomerRider, he had figured, because no mere fall could defeat someone like the all-powerful Mass. Yet here he was, feeling as nigh-invulnerable as ever, and gazing into the powerful jaws of the BoomerRider's mount. Clearing his throat, he stomped the steel-plated ground and balled his hands into fists, discharging a burst of steam from his stonelike gauntlets. "It seems as though the gods of war think I'm too badass to die!" he shouted, allowing his blazing white aura to flare up again, "Looks like you're all alone, you dumb-looking green piece of crap! If you had a brain to think with, you'd know that you're better off running away, cause I'm about to give you what's coming to you! — A good old fashioned beating! Not even a pit like that can stop me now!" With that, Mass crouched down, giving a toothy grin as he discharged bursts of superheated energy into the ground in preparation for another melee-range onslaught.

You idiot! Do you have any idea what you almost did to us?! cried Tem, interrupting the larger navi's concentration and causing him to stumble in his tracks, For the last freaking time, YOU CAN'T FLY! How the hell do you think we survived your last little stunt?

"Hey woman, I don't recall asking for moron assistance!" shouted Mass in response, "Obviously, the immense strength of my fighting spirit protected me from damage, for I am the invulnerable, invincible, indomitable, impenetrable, mega-ultimate of champion..."

First of all, the only thing impenetrable about you is that stupid head of yours! countered Tem acidly, Second, it wasn't your fighting spirit that caused you to survive that fall! It was an Areagrab battlechip — something that you didn't deserve in the slightest! If it weren't for my terrible misfortune of being bound to you for survival, I would have let you die like you deserved, you arrogant peabrain! I don't know how you're intending to finish this battle, but I CAN tell you that if it comes down between dying and having to do something to stop you from being so abysmally STUPID, I'm willing to take my chances with deletion!

Mass blinked twice, doing his best to process an intelligible response to his tactical subsystem's scathing words. When none came, he merely laughed again, only this time with somewhat less confidence than before. "Hahah! Foolish woman! You of all people should know that these thinking fists of mine are smarter than the average bear!" he shouted, venting yet another burst of steam as he exited from his crouch to a more stable fighting position, "I just need four-eyes up there to send me the next bunch of chips!"

OPERATOR UNIT SUIEN MATSUMOTO HAS ALREADY PROVIDED SEVERAL BATTLECHIPS FOR YOUR PERUSAL! shouted Ishamel, sidling up alongside Tem on Mass' chest, ALL SYSTEMS ARE STANDING BY. REQUEST: DO NOT ATTEMPT CLOSE-RANGE ATTACKS AGAINST THIS ADVERSARY. SUCH TACTICS WILL INEXORABLY RESULT IN FAILURE!

"Well come on then!" roared Mass, pounding his chest as bits of chip data streamed into his massive palms, "You might be low-life trash in your normal everyday lives, but when you're busting with my pals, 'burning passion,' and 'raging power,' you're automatically a badass prizefighter!" He held up his two fists, introducing them to the speechless subsystems upon his chest. As his "two pals" began glowing with silver light, absorbing the destructive energies from his massive power core, Mass thumped his chest and pointed at the airborne adversary once more. "Now let's use the power of teamwork to show just how awesome I am!"

"That's... probably not what they had in mind, Mass, but I guess that's a start," muttered Suien into the PET microphone. Instantly, a small screen appeared next to Mass' head, revealing a squinting, spectacle-less Suien who stared outward through bloodshot eyes. "Regardless, I've sent you what battlechips we have. Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced my glasses, so I'm not sure what you're getting this turn. I suggest you take evasive action before...

"Evasive action?! You must be joking!" laughed Mass, now clutching a pair of minibombs in the palms of his hand, "Dodging is for the weak! Fighting is for the strong!" With that, the high-powered navi hurled the small explosives up with all of his considerable strength. The two tiny blue spheres shot into the sky, their forms barely discernable against the top of the Electown network. Not bothering to follow their trajectory, however, Mass whirled around, orange cape billowing behind him, and squared himself with the larger virus. Gritting his teeth, he allowed the Shotgun energy to flow into each of his fingertips, his complex circuitry diverting the flow of destructive particles into several smaller bursts. "Uh... hey, Robocop," muttered Mass, "I'm not so good at aiming, so do you think...?"

ALREADY DONE. I HAVE CALIBRATED THE FORWARD TRAJECTORIES AND RELAYED THEM TO YOUR SYSTEM. THOUGH CORE UNIT MASS POSSESSES A LACK OF SOCIAL TACT, IT IS AGAINST MY PRIMARY PROGRAMING TO ACT OUTSIDE OF OUR OWN BEST INTERESTS! said Ishamel flatly.

Mass grunted ill-temperedly, but adjusted his sight accordingly. Just as the minibombs fell into range, Mass gave a monstrous battle cry and extended both arms forward, casting light and shadows across the abyss. His silver aura blazed as he held out his hands, blasting thousands upon thousands of small bursts of power in the general direction of the airborne opponent. The shotgun blasts lanced forward at a high rate, exploding in the air surrounding the SpikedBoomer and obscuring any possibility of confirming the hits. Mass reveled in the destruction, finally ceasing his relentless barrage and holding both arms over his head. Crimson lightning poured through his veins and the black fusionist protoplasm tensed, revealing the sinewy texture of his muscular frame.

Gritting his teeth, Mass still managed an arrogant laugh as he brought both hands forward, red light fully engulfing his dangerous fists as they charged themselves with electric energy. "This is the end for you! This is the full extent of my power! This is where you DIE!" he roared as his processors whirred in protest, "I will fight until the day my burning passion dies away! Now TAKE... THIS!"


1: Minibomb (60) to SpikedBoomer
2: Minibomb (60) to SpikedBoomer
3: Shotgun (50) to SpikedBoomer, splash to any missed Minibombs to add Shrapnel
4: Shotgun (50) to SpikedBoomer, splash to any missed Minibombs to add Shrapnel
5: ElecReel (80) to SpikedBoomer, Splash aimed to detonate any missed Minibombs to add Shrapnel

((Thanks Phoenix... appears as though I've been away for longer than I thought :P))
<(Pleeze don't warn me for this, but just FYI, ElecReel is now ElecReel1, it now does 80 instead of 100, and has only D-rank Accuracy against flying targets.)> /swt
As the boomer gets hit and lost from sight in the massive explosions and shots, Rass was sure the battle was over.
He was right.
But, as the battle routine and the cross deactivate, and the ground reappears around the small navi's island, before him is none other than the BoomerRider, having just jacked in to land on his trusted virus, which showed no signs of damage whatsoever.
Heh. Nice work, runt. Maybe I'll fight you at more than minimum power, next time. The navi taunted, rapidly ascending. Don't think I'll forget this! Next time we meet, you're mine! Came the final cry, along with chilling laughter.
Of course, it was still a win for Rass... right?

SpikedBoomer: RETREATED
BoomerRider: RETREATED

Rass: 117 HP

-Victory!-
Prize: 1150z
"That's right, BoomerRetard! Run away! Quail before the might of a true super savior!" cried Mass, extending the middle fingers of both hands and waving them around in the retreating navi's general direction, "Suck it, world! Suck it long, and suck it hard, because I OWN you! Who's the best? Super Savior 'I'm the best' Mass, that's who!"

Sheesh, give it a rest, sniped an irritated Tem, Let's not forget the fact that you damn well nearly killed us before, and that you'd be 'Mass, the all-powerful pancake' if it weren't for me.

"Ahah...er..." began Mass, closing his eyes and rubbing the back of his helmet, "That is to say... well... I suppose if you put it that way, it would... APPEAR as though I was somewhat in error." Mass seemed as though he were lost in thought, staring off to the side and biting his lower lip. Suddenly, he folded his arms and smirked, glancing downward toward his massive chest. "I've made my decision, blue scanner girl thing!" he said boistrously, "you're smarter than you look, and despite the fact that you're nowhere near as powerfully sexy as I am, you've managed to catch my interest!"

W...What?! stammered Tem, clearly at a loss for words.

"Hahah! I see you're speechless with infatuation! It's alright, It happens to those women who have the privilege of recieving my manly charms! I can only pretend to understand how madly in love you are with me, but rest assured, even though I can expect a harem of girls to fall to my feet when next we go into public, you'll at least have a fighting chance in my eyes!"

With that, Mass gave one final laugh as his firey aura receded into his chest, taking the rather muscular frame back inside along with it. The once-majestic netnavi now stood, thin, and frail as ever, pink eyes scanning from left to right in confusion.

"So..." began Rass, scratching the side of his helmet, "Did we win?"

((Battle 6))
"INAZUMA KICK!" yelled a voice whose figure descended from the air and crashed down in front of Rass, but missed him horribly.
"Oh, it's a navi, let's battle!" the figure said, obviously some Heelnavi of some sort, it looks like some viruses are with him as well.

Kung-Fu: 150 HP
HoneybomberA: 110 HP
HoneybomberB: 110 HP
HoneybomberC: 110 HP
HoneybomberD: 110 HP

Terrain: Normal

Rass.exe: 100 HP

-<GONG>-
-BATTLE 6-
-FIGHT-
((I'm out of cross, so my max HP is 100))


I can't believe it, Tem! Mass said that he actually likes you? Why do you get all the attention?! whined Argo, as Rass slowly stumbled around the network, still clutching his head, I mean, I was important in that battle too, you know! I don't see why you get all the credit! I mean, heck, if I weren't around, we would totally uh.... have overloaded that circuit back there! Why wouldn't he notice something important like that?

Ugh, YOU'D want the attention of an arrogant oaf like that, muttered a disgusted Tem, You can HAVE him. For one thing, he's not my type. For another, it'd be like being in a relationship with Rass! That's a pretty big turn-off if you ask me.

"Look, guys, I can almost understand the need for you to poke fun at me constantly," interrupted Rass under his breath, "but can you at least acknowledge the fact that you're doing it in front of me? I mean, I don't really think it's all that much to as..."

"INAZUMA KICK!"

"Whoa!" yelled Rass as the newly-arrived navi aimed a devastating drop kick in front of him and started yelling some sort of indecipherable challenge. Wary of the fact that the panels beneath the violet fighter's foot now featured fine crystalline cracks, he shaded his eyes and addressed the newcomer. "Umm... sorry, could you repeat that, maybe? Not so loud too, I'm still a bit er... disoriented," he muttered, "You see, I just had this battle and now I..."

Buck up, Rasshole! It sounds like this one's a true fighter! hollered Argo excitedly, his presence leaking into Rass' two fists and thrusting both arms forward to get a better look, Or maybe not. Looks like just another idiot with no idea who he's up against. What say we teach that moron a lesson he won't soon forget!

"Guh?" asked Rass, confusedly, "I don't know Argo. He looks pretty s-strong. I mean, he's obviously some sort of m-martial artist, and he's got all those beehives around him. My head really hurts too, so maybe we should j-just walk away, you know?"

Rass, what do you mean by that? Did you not just hear him issue us a challenge? asked Tem, already performing a point scan and calling up "Kung-Fu's" technical specifications, HE'S the one who wants to fight US, not the other way around! Now get your act together, this won't be too difficult. The first thing you're going to need to do is establish a defensive basis through Argo's Terraformer, combined with the versatile, short-range defenses conferred by Ishamel's...

"Ah, um... that's the thing, see." muttered Suien, who had been silent for a rather long time, "You see, when you dealt the final blow to that last opponent there, the other patrons in the crowd gave a pretty big cheer. Unfortunately, one of them bumped into the White Russian I had ordered to celebrate and it sort of uh... spilled all over the PET." Suien tapped the smoking PET once or twice for emphasis. "Drinks for the rest of the night are on the house, but I'm afraid the process upgrades have short-circuited. Sorry about that."

Tem bristled.

-*-

"Oh geez, she's mad," muttered Suien, turning down the volume of his PET as he riffled through his battlechips, squinting as he read the tiny print on their labels. The uproarious crowd made it difficult to concentrate as several others jacked their navis into the television network to emulate his startling victory over the BoomerRider. Holding up the airshot and discord chips, he nodded to himself as he nimbly grasped a third, green-colored battlechip and slid the trio in, one after the other, into the PET's chiptray. Three rapid clicks indicated that the data had been successfully transmitted, as Suien reached into his pocket for his portable keyboard. Unfolding the small piece of hardware and laying it gingerly upon the bar, he connected it to his PET and opened up Rass' software code. "I can manage this," he muttered to himself, downing the remainder of his drink as his fingers flew across the keyboard, "I aced my advanced programming final while completely hammered. Programming a few basic routines shouldn't be any problem. Geez, when did they make these stupid keys so small?"

-*-

Meanwhile, inside the PET, Rass was quite frankly, surprised at Tem's ability to find so many disparaging insults aimed at someone other than himself. As the tactical subsystem raged upward toward the unseen netOp, the fusion navi stood and waited, nervously eyeing the karate-master opponent in front of him. The latest set of battlechips, it seemed, went largely unnoticed by the quartet of systems.

I ah... I don't think he's listening Tem, noted Argo, displaying a rare streak of nervousness, Maybe we should just get this thing out of the way.

What?! How DARE he not listen to me! He should take responsibility for his foolishness and the fact that his idiotic drinking run ended up destroying crucial components that we worked hard for! Tem fumed.

"Ah... er... Tem?" interrupted Rass, "I d-don't think our crucial components have been damaged beyond repair. Actually, I think most of the p-process upgrades are still w-working just fine. We just shorted out the hardware, that's all."

Shut the hell up, Rass! It looks like I'm going to have to take things into my own hands. Again. And it looks like it'll be to clean up a mess one of you morons made. Again! she shouted as Rass' normally-black body became a deep shade of blue and one of his fists clenched tightly independent of his will, You know what? I don't need any of you, just WATCH!

And with that, she was off, bolting toward her violet opponent with speed and agility. As she closed the distance to Kung-Fu, she feinted to the right for a split second before spiraling to her left, clutching a silvery object in her hand. Using the momentum from the maneuver, she sent the metallic weapon flying toward the opposing forces, the silver shaft unfolding into a fully-functional tuby virus as it skidded to a halt on the ground. Without missing a beat, Tem thrust both hands forward, palms outstretched, and sent a violent burst of air toward the main opponent. The resultant shockwave sent Rass' body flying backward momentarily, causing the fusion navi to let out a gasp of surprise. Tem, however, was unperturbed. I hope you're watching this, Suien, she hissed dangerously as she spun the newly-arrived boomerang battlechip in place, I always suspected that you clowns were holding me back, and this is going to prove it! The boomerang sliced through the air, sending a metallic whine as it arced neatly toward the opponents...

G...Geez, maybe it really is her time of the month, gulped Argo, from behind Rass, I'm just glad I'm not the other guy...

1: Discord (Summons 100HP Tuby, confuses opponents) — Confuse HoneyBomberA and B
2: Airshot (20 damage) - Kung-Fu into HoneyBomberA and HoneyBomberB
3: Boomerang (60 damage) — Kung-Fu, HoneyBomberA, HoneyBomberB, attempt to have HoneyBombersA and B attack Kung-Fu with bees
4: Prepped Dodge
Kung-Fu is blown back into his allies. He shrugs it off, but his allies send their bees swarming. Some attack Kung-Fu, some attack Rass, some just fly farther into the netscape never to be seen again. Tem lays out the rage with her Boomerang, cutting more into the enemy forces.
"Aha! I have stumbled upon a true warrior!" Kung-Fu proclaimed. "Though his music seems to throw me off, never fear! I am almighty!" The Heelnavi rushed his opponent and cried "Fated Technique! One-Inch Punch!" Kung-Fu came to an abrupt halt in front of Rass and punched him with little force and distance in the nose. He backflipped and put his hands on his hips saying, "Ha-Ha! How do you like that?"

Kung-Fu: 70 HP
HoneybomberA: 30 HP
HoneybomberB: 30 HP
HoneybomberC: 110 HP
HoneybomberD: 110 HP

Terrain: Normal

Rass.exe: 70 HP
Tuby: 100 HP (0/3)
((If a picture is worth a thousand words and a comic is comprised of multiple pictures, then...))









((in case the above don't work))
http://img3.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/4ddeae5005.png
http://img3.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/bacca4be5c.png
http://img3.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/6d7b448b72.png
http://img3.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/2e9a53f095.png

1: ElecSword (80) HoneybomberA, HoneybomberB, Kung Fu
2: Sea Zone - Create large body of aqua panels
3: Areagrab above water (+accuracy, +evade)
4: Elecreel1 (80, 160 due to water) HoneybomberC, HoneybomberD, Kung Fu
(?!?!?!! !?!!?!!one/!?!!!11!??!
DEAR GOD.
THAT'S AWESOME.
...yeah. Good job, that.)
In an epic series of comic win and Skyrendering,
Rass, Tem, Argo, and Ishmael conquer over Kung-Fu and his viruses, wiping them out completely and utterly. They will never ever rise from their ashes of defeat and humiliation.

Kung-Fu: EPICALLY OWNED
HoneybomberA: EPICALLY OWNED
HoneybomberB: EPICALLY OWNED
HoneybomberC: EPICALLY OWNED
HoneybomberD: EPICALLY OWNED

Terrain: 70% Sea, 30% Normal

Rass.exe: 70 HP
Tuby: 100 HP (0/3)

-SKYRENDER WINS AND HAS TOTAL AND UTTER COMPLETE VICTORY-
Get: 1800z

((OOC GET: GOD STATUS))
Feh, spat Tem, as she arced Rass' body downward to earth in a neat backflip. The tactical subsystem tensed the sinewy muscles of the fusionist protoplasm as she broke the water's surface. I'm sure that little stunt taught that wannabe fighter that he ought to choose his fights more carefully, she said haughtily, swirling backwards into her gemstone, Not that we're possessing a particularly menacing visage, mind you.

Rass opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it. After all, Tem was back to her calculating, manipulative, and sardonic self, so who was he to complain?

-*-

With his latest victory propelling him to new heights of popularity, Suien Matsumoto found himself at the top of the proverbial world. Drunken bar patrons cheered as Rass delivered the fatal blow to the challenger, and the dark-haired netOp smiled and thrust his fist up in the air in a victorious, alcohol-inspired pose...

...and instantly regretted it as he felt his innards rise up to his chest. The bespectacled netOp gagged momentarily, before hurriedly collecting his things and darting out the door. As dangerous as it was to be wandering the streets of Electown drunk, it wouldn't be half as dangerous of incurring the wrath of the burly barkeep by bespoiling the tavern's carpet.

((Rass.EXE, logging out))