What Happens in NetVegas...

((I am attempting to conduct this humorous situation with as much taste as I can possibly muster. However, I can understand how this could be portrayed as somewhat risque, so it can be modified if the subject matter is too meh.))
((Spoilers/Disclaimer: the girl is not Rania, nor is she underage, nor did Suien engage in any misconduct. Skyrender does not endorse underage shenanigans. Or drinking, for that matter.))

The middle portion of any hero's story can be the most exciting part. They say that the great revelations and transformations of character occur in the period of time when the protagonist is recuperating from the attention-grabbing hook of the introduction and preparing for his grand finale. These stories are often filled with drama, adventure, and action. It is during this time that the great hero finds the true love he seeks, discovers his true purpose in life, and becomes the champion that will be remembered in the pages of literary history

However, this portion of Suien Matsumoto's story contains neither drama, nor love, nor purpose, for Suien Matsumoto is no hero.

Had any individual of sound capacity awoken in the situation Suien Matsumoto found himself in, that person would probably have panicked. As it stood, however, the groggy operator remained blissfully unaware of his present predicament in which he found himself. The only familiar presence was the throbbing headache that indicated a night of irresponsible inebriation. The punishing pulses caused the raven-haired netOp to groan in pain and massage his temples with his aching fingers. He slowly managed to maneuver his body into a sitting position where he tossed off the sheets, fumbled for his glasses, and cursed as he stubbed his toe on his unicycle.

...

unicycle?

...

!!!

The first thing that Suien Matsumoto realized was that he didn't own a unicycle.

The second thing that Suien Matsumoto realized was that this wasn't his room. It wasn't even his apartment. Hell, judging from the "Welcome to NetVegas" pamphlet on the nightstand, it wasn't even his country.

The last thing that Suien Matsumoto noticed was that he was not alone.

What the HELL?

Suien bolted upright, practially leaping off the bed and nearly tripping over the sheets. The person in his bed... or whomever's bed it was... stirred, making an androgynous sound that gave no clues as to gender. The flood of sensory input came roaring back, bringing the bespecticled netOp back to his senses. The walls were peeling, and the television - an older model without a jack-in port - displayed only static. Clearly either last night had been crazier than he had imagined, or the venue was as seedy as they come. While Suien strongly suspected the latter, the former was not entirely beyond the realm of possibility. The robe served as corroboration for the seediness, as it was a nondescript brown color with no distinguishable logo and fraying edges, The clear implication here was that No matter how he sliced it, there was no avoiding the same core facts. He was in a strange room, wearing a robe that did not belong to him, and with a girl (he hoped) that he had presumably spent the night with.

Son of a binome... okay, just... just calm down...

Suien gulped as he continued to survey his surroundings. Rather, he unsuccessfully tried to survey his surroundings. It was rather difficult to focus on anything else other than the figure asleep in his bed. The covers were pulled up to its head, which was nuzzled face-down in a pillow. The only distinguishing feature of the figure was the brilliant orange hair that could be seen between the pillow and the comforter.

oh &%$#

More memories came roaring back. An awkward encounter at the Yoka Onsen. A busting venture with an underage netOp. A sure case of statutory rape.

"Finally awake?" came a blunt, female voice, "You know, for all my computational power, I seem to be unable to find the words to adequately describe how utterly, completely, and totally irresponsible you..."

Suien fumbled for his PET. "Gah... geez Tem, keep it down," he hissed, holding the device close to his face. Realizing that the support subsystem might have some insight to give about the previous night's events, he stepped backwards, crouched down, and eyed the bed suspiciously out of the corner of the eye. "Hey uh... Tem?" he asked, "What happened last night?"

"Oh, I'll have you know that you were a complete ass last night!" snapped Tem, "I swear, the way you were handling that thing, it should be illegal!"

Suien groaned. "She's not a *thing,* Tem... and for your information, it *is* illegal in most civilized countries."

"Er... what?" asked Tem, "Your unicycle has a name?"

"No Tem," replied Suien, "the person I woke up next to."

The awkward silence that ensued was painful. Neither netOp nor support system could find any words to say. Fortunately, the silence was short-lived. Unfortunately, it was Argo who interrupted. Hahahahah... Suien finally got some tail! he laughed, I'd say just ditch her and hit the town again! Money! Fame! Can't say I ever really approved of your methods, Suien, but man, you can sure...

"No. No money, no fame, no going out again, and certainly no ditching anybody," said Suien sternly, eyes quickly darting around the room, "...at least, not for the time being. If it turns out that she... he... has any recollection of the night, it's only going to get worse for us if we run away. If only there were something I could use to figure out who that person is without waking her... him... it... up..."

Suien's eyes lit up as he saw a black cable running across the ceiling of his room. As the dark-haired netOp sidled across the room, he nimbly snatched his chip folder from the dresser. Finally... at least *something's* going right. he thought, sliding the battlechips into his robe pocket and sneaking around the corner. Just as he had suspected, the cable was a security feed, connected to a small black camera outside. Suien allowed himself a small sigh of relief as he plugged his PET into the security jack and began the upload procedures. The nimble netOp's fingers flew across his PET keyboard, swiftly disabling Rass' sleep mode and preparing him for combat.

You shouldn't do that, you know. muttered Tem.

Hah, give it a rest, Tem. It's not like he never jacked into something he shouldn't have before, if you know what I mean. replied Argo.

You're a pig, Argo. snapped Tem icily.

In the musty atmosphere of the NetVegas motel, two figures stood back to back, hastily getting dressed as they prepared to vacate the scene. Chuckles and Joey had long left, leaving the two former-bedmates to clean up the evidence of the night and plan out their exit strategy.

"So just to confirm..." said Suien, hastily changing out of his bathrobe into a pair of jeans and throwing a white polo shirt over his chest, "this entire encounter..."

"...never happened. Exactly." replied Kenna, as she deftly fastened the hook of her bra and sleeved up a rather professional-looking blouse, [color=red]"We'll leave at different times, head in different directions, and never see each other again. Ever. Oh, and let me make this abundantly clear. If for some reason we run into each other again, I have no idea who you are, and will only respond with confusion if you try to interact with me. We are complete strangers the moment I step outside that door."

Suien smirked and glanced over his shoulder at Kenna. "I suppose this would be a good time for me to ask if that means I can flirt with and date you like some normal stranger," he said, "but then, knowledge of our past would probably get in the way, yeah?"

"Hey! No peeking!" she yelled, elbowing the netOp hard in the side and causing him to stagger in pain, "and like you said, I wouldn't even consider a normal relationship with somebody I did *that* with. It'd just be too weird. I can't believe you'd even suggest something like that." As she fastened the top few buttons of her blouse and adjusted her glasses, she turned around to face the reeling male. "What do you think, Suien? Does this look okay?"

Suien groaned, then squinted at Kenna. "I thought you said 'no peeking!' Make up your mind," he grumbled, still clutching his side, "...and seriously, you look fine. Go on ahead. I've already dealt with the video data. I'll check out of here in a few hours so nobody suspects anything."

Kenna hesitated for a moment and looked like she was about to say something. One awkward silence later, however, she nodded quickly and began walking toward the door. As she opened it up, glanced momentarily at Suien, and shook her head. "Cripes..." she muttered as she exited the room.

-*-

EMPHASIZE THE CALCULATING SUBSYSTEMS! THIS IS THE MOST VALID ADVANTAGE POSSESSED BY THE R.A.S.S.!

No way! Those mission-giver-people like badassery and strength! At least I would if I were some leadership leading... leader... person.

Ishamel, we don't want to get assigned to some dumb counting mission... and Argo, what you just said is EXACTLY why you'll never be a *dispatcher*. Now stop interrupting me, you idiots! They've got to believe that this is from Rass! said Tem, angrily transmitting data through the fusionist protoplasm. Rass, having gone into his standardized sleep mode upon returning to the PET, lay propped up near the external messaging system of the small device. His normally-black body was spotted with green, blue, and red as the three subsystems dragged him and plugged him into the digital messenger like some sort of twisted marionette. Grumbling, Ishamel and Argo retreated into their respective gemstones, leaving the slumbering blue and pink navi to finish the upload.

Nuts... why on EARTH they would color-code transmission sources is beyond me. grumbled Tem, but in any case, phase one of our liberation plan is complete! Even if he doesn't approve of our methods, Suien will *have* to take the mission when he finds out about the video data. She chuckled to herself and retreated to her gemstone, leaving Rass to awaken and wonder why on earth he was plugged into the External Messaging System.