Workout
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Blackblade was now in a place that was like his home."Ok now remember we have to find that virus so look around" his operator ordered him,but it was ok because they were partners.So seeing as he couldn't see anything he thought he should ask the mr.prongs if they saw anything odd lately.But they were to busy at work.Suddenly something jumped out of the ground."Blackblade do you see what it is?" Andrew asked with a bit of fear in his voice."Its...a...v..us"Andrews navi said with his voice trailing off with the sight of the virus so he pointed his sword that was attached to his arm at the virus and asked him something."What are you and what are you doing in the sci lab computers?"
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<(I'm not a mod, but even I can see that this needs some serious work.
First, the whole cliche, "Bwahahahahaha I'ma gonna blow up everything SciLabs has made so they have to start over!" needs to go. I don't care if you think it's cool, it's considered godmoding (deciding the fate of something other than your own character.
Second: probably the most important. You were RPing your Navi being inside the Net in a Real World topic; unacceptable. Either edit this bit out completely, or make a Net topic.
Lastly, you godmoded. There is no enemy. There is never an enemy until you're modded, which you weren't. Not to mention that, well, where the hell did said enemy come from? First it wasn't there, then it was just after the old dood said his cookie-cutter speech? Is aforementioned old dude a Navi? I don't get it.
Take what I've said into account, and lastly READ THE RULES. All of 'em, not just some of them, which I can see that you've apparently done. You ain't in Kansas anymore, squirt. >: D)>
First, the whole cliche, "Bwahahahahaha I'ma gonna blow up everything SciLabs has made so they have to start over!" needs to go. I don't care if you think it's cool, it's considered godmoding (deciding the fate of something other than your own character.
Second: probably the most important. You were RPing your Navi being inside the Net in a Real World topic; unacceptable. Either edit this bit out completely, or make a Net topic.
Lastly, you godmoded. There is no enemy. There is never an enemy until you're modded, which you weren't. Not to mention that, well, where the hell did said enemy come from? First it wasn't there, then it was just after the old dood said his cookie-cutter speech? Is aforementioned old dude a Navi? I don't get it.
Take what I've said into account, and lastly READ THE RULES. All of 'em, not just some of them, which I can see that you've apparently done. You ain't in Kansas anymore, squirt. >: D)>