"You're kidding right?"
"We're perfectly serious, Mr. Matsumoto. It's only for a day, and we'll be happy to write you any letters of recommendation that you require for..."
"The job description said that my programming skills and background in computer science would be useful here. You do realize that I have no prior experience working with children, right?"
"Your transcript says you took courses in childhood development... and besides, you're only substituting for the guest lecturer on elementary netbattling."
Suien Matsumoto sighed, and walked over to the nearest vending machine in the teacher's lounge of ACDC Elementary school. Selecting a coffee-flavored drink he had grown fond of during his college years, he swiped his card and pressed the appropriate buttons. The can landed in the tray with a satisfying *thud* as the dark-haired netOp turned around and removed his glasses, wiping them clean with his shirt. "Let me get this straight," he said, shooting the principal a weary look, "One session of teaching and you'll write me the letters I need?"
"That's absolutely correct," replied the principal a smile growing on his bearded features, "plus you'll be doing us a great service by teaching the next generation of netbattlers basic life skills in the networked world."
Suien just sighed again, then smiled, placing the glasses over his eyes once more. "Fine," he said, "lead me to them."
-*-
As the principal led Suien through the halls of the school, waving to teachers as he passed by the open doors, the young college graduate smirked to himself. While he had never attended an Electopian school, his own childhood experience had been remarkably similar to what the kids were experiencing now. Nostalgia filled Suien's mind as his sharp eyes darted back and forth, taking in the familiar sights and sounds of youth.
"Bring back memories?" asked the principal, noticing Suien's smirk.
"I suppose," admitted the tall netOp, shaking his head, "I'd like to think I can appreciate the sights of elementary school a lot more than..."
"Hi, you must be the substitute lecturer. Come on in, we're all ready for you!"
Suien turned a corner to find a very attractive young teacher facing him, a smile on her face as she gestured for him to enter the classroom. Suien trailed off, cleared his throat, then nodded his head as he walked in. Awkwardly bumping his side against the doorknob in the process.
Appreciate the sights indeed, he thought.
-*-
It wasn't until Suien was in front of the class of fifth-grade Electopian students that he realized how unsuited he really was for the position. True, he had taken classes in developmental psychology, but he never actually had to deal with the pressure of fourty-some little eyes looking expectantly at him. As he stood awkwardly at the front of the classroom, he scratched the back of his head and glanced toward the teacher, hoping to find some signal as to what he should be doing. Instead, the attractive young educator just smiled at him, tilting her ponytailed head to the side slightly as she flashed a thumbs-up sign to him.
Great, he thought, removing his PET and smiling nervously back, I knew this was a stupid plan. What the heck was I thinking? I've never been good with kids! "Ah... hello class," he said, clearing his throat, "My name's Suien Matsumoto, but you can call me Suien if you'd like-"
Before Suien could continue, a chorus of voices rang out, "Hi Mister Matsumoto!"
"Uh... thanks, thanks," replied Suien, "So today I guess I'm supposed to teach you guys about operating a netnavi. I'm sure you guys all have your own navis, so I won't cover the basics. I'll just uh..." He fiddled with his PET, pointing it toward the blackboard, "jack-in here." As a beam of light transmitted Suien's navi to the network, the teacher's smile vanished and she quickly moved forward to the front of the room. Before she could say anything, however, a chorus of "ooohs" from the class as a whole rang out.
Suien glanced around confusedly, until the teacher cleared her throat and pointed toward a nearby sign overhead.
"Oh..." was all Suien could manage.
"DANGER" it warned, in bold red letters, "VIRAL INFECTION - DO NOT USE"
Guest Lecture
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On the blackboard monitor, the bloodied Heelnavi collapsed with a sickening thud, a horrendous gaping hole in his chest. As the body dematerialized in several wisplike strings of data, Suien Matsumoto turned his head slowly to the class of clearly shocked fourth graders and smiled nervously. The teacher had since left the room to tend to two of the more squeamish children, and would likely be returning shortly with the principal in tow. One of the girls in the front row had fainted, but nobody seemed to notice as they stared, wide-eyed, at the gruesome spectacle that awaited them. Suddenly, one boy's voice rang out above all the others.
"That... was.... AWESOME!"
The remainder of the class erupted in cheers at the words, instantly breaking the tense atmosphere that the events had created. Suien exhaled in relief and stood up, deconstructing his PET as he did so. "Glad you guys enjoyed this lesson," he said, flashing a smile toward the boy, "Now, what did you..." he paused as he saw the young teacher standing beside a rather perturbed-looking principal in the doorway, "...what did you kids learn today?"
"Fighting is always the best and most awesome way to solve your problems!" yelled one boy enthusiastically.
"You should make yourself throw up after you eat pie!" said a girl, smiling.
"If a girl makes you mad, you can give her a wedgie!" laughed a third boy.
As the class fell into laughter and excited chattering, Suien glanced back at the principal and sighed. "I guess..." he started, "that I can forget about those letters of recommendation?" The principal nodded his head, his face red and contorted in barely-concealed anger and pointed toward the exit. Suien nodded quickly and packed up his things, straining to talk over the chorus of little voices that had filled the room. "Thank you so much for having me here, class!" he shouted, "now behave yourselves and uh... stay in school!"
Suien quickly exited the classroom, slightly embarassed, but otherwise unperturbed. While he didn't get the letters of recommendation that he had initially sought, he nevertheless had landed a fair amount of zenny data from Rass' exploits, so it wasn't as though it was a total loss. Might as well treat Rass to a few new chips, he thought, smiling to himself. He crossed the school courtyard and was about to exit when he heard a soft, feminine voice behind him.
"Ah, excuse me, Mr. Matsumoto?"
The tall, dark-haired netOp spun around and found himself face-to-face with the attractive young electopian teacher whose class he had just condemned to years of therapy. Surprisingly enough, she was smiling at him and holding out a battlechip.
"I believe you forgot this," she said, offering the newly-transferred sword battlechip that Suien had left behind in his haste. As Suien accepted the chip, she turned around and walked back to the school, her black ponytail whirling in her wake. "Oh er..." he started, struggling to find something to say that wasn't creepy or awkward, "...thanks."
The pretty young educator paused and turned her head. "That's quite a navi you've got there, Mr. Matsumoto," she said in a cryptic tone, "I'm looking forward to seeing where you two go." With that, she entered the school's front door, disappearing as swiftly as she had come.
Suien blinked, momentarily confused by the teacher's comment, then marched off toward the local chip store.
"That... was.... AWESOME!"
The remainder of the class erupted in cheers at the words, instantly breaking the tense atmosphere that the events had created. Suien exhaled in relief and stood up, deconstructing his PET as he did so. "Glad you guys enjoyed this lesson," he said, flashing a smile toward the boy, "Now, what did you..." he paused as he saw the young teacher standing beside a rather perturbed-looking principal in the doorway, "...what did you kids learn today?"
"Fighting is always the best and most awesome way to solve your problems!" yelled one boy enthusiastically.
"You should make yourself throw up after you eat pie!" said a girl, smiling.
"If a girl makes you mad, you can give her a wedgie!" laughed a third boy.
As the class fell into laughter and excited chattering, Suien glanced back at the principal and sighed. "I guess..." he started, "that I can forget about those letters of recommendation?" The principal nodded his head, his face red and contorted in barely-concealed anger and pointed toward the exit. Suien nodded quickly and packed up his things, straining to talk over the chorus of little voices that had filled the room. "Thank you so much for having me here, class!" he shouted, "now behave yourselves and uh... stay in school!"
Suien quickly exited the classroom, slightly embarassed, but otherwise unperturbed. While he didn't get the letters of recommendation that he had initially sought, he nevertheless had landed a fair amount of zenny data from Rass' exploits, so it wasn't as though it was a total loss. Might as well treat Rass to a few new chips, he thought, smiling to himself. He crossed the school courtyard and was about to exit when he heard a soft, feminine voice behind him.
"Ah, excuse me, Mr. Matsumoto?"
The tall, dark-haired netOp spun around and found himself face-to-face with the attractive young electopian teacher whose class he had just condemned to years of therapy. Surprisingly enough, she was smiling at him and holding out a battlechip.
"I believe you forgot this," she said, offering the newly-transferred sword battlechip that Suien had left behind in his haste. As Suien accepted the chip, she turned around and walked back to the school, her black ponytail whirling in her wake. "Oh er..." he started, struggling to find something to say that wasn't creepy or awkward, "...thanks."
The pretty young educator paused and turned her head. "That's quite a navi you've got there, Mr. Matsumoto," she said in a cryptic tone, "I'm looking forward to seeing where you two go." With that, she entered the school's front door, disappearing as swiftly as she had come.
Suien blinked, momentarily confused by the teacher's comment, then marched off toward the local chip store.