Tryouts for best "whatever, whenever" RP!

Rules: Try out here, I wil give you a random character in a random situation when you come. When enough pplz hav RPed a random charcter we vote on who did it the best. BEGIN I SAY.....
I volunteer.
And I volunteer Skyrender against his will. <is killed, mauled, raped, and beaten in one go>
Revivedsin, you are a fire elmental battling a water elemental. You are poorly animated. And the steam above your head is turning into a raincloud. You know many spells.