I am not MissionMan!

"So, this is it?" SplashMan found himself in front of a virtual bulletin board.

"Yep!"

The Aqua Navi scratched his head. "So, how does it work?"

"Uhh...if I recall correctly, you just leave a post requesting a mission, and wait until they respond. Then you go do the mission!"

"Okay!" The Navi began working on a post. Around 20 minutes later, he stopped. "There! All done!"

"It took you that long?"

"Had to make sure I got my point across! Plus, I wanted to see what they offered for completing missions!"

"And what do we get?"

"GMO files. Which is good and all, but my data structure's not like most Navis'. I can't use anything but my default, or else my core structure will become unstable, and eventually split into particles!"

"Ouch..."

"That's what I said. But anyway, here's what I have right now. Tell me if it's good!" Sabrina's PET's screen went from showing her Navi to showing her Navi's post.

"Let's see now...'Hi, I'm SplashMan! I'm here to request one of those missions I've heard about! I don't have any preference about the type of mission, but I have to say that my data structure won't allow me to equip GMOs, so I can't accept them! If you've got any Aqua Battlechips lying around, I'd be happy to take them off your hands in its place! But if you don't, or you don't want to, or you can't for some official reason, I can do it for nothing! Gotta help out where I can!

-SplashMan.EXE'

Looks good to me. Put it up!"

"And...done!" SplashMan took several steps backward, and sat down. "Now to wait for a response!"
We can offer you 1000 zenny or the most standard aqua chip, a bubbler, harumpumpum. I'm afraid that the worth of the .GMO is, ahem, not quite as much as some seem to believe it to be.

Now, harumpumpum, there's a certain individual in the Scilab network who has been accessing my files quite frequently. I am a certified officer of the Netpolice, whereas he is not. Therefore, he should not be accessing my files. I would like for you to go there and make it quite, unequivocally clear, harapumpum, that I do not take kindly to this sort of thing and am prepared to punish him for it. If he shows any signs of resistance, harumpumpum, feel free to sack the scoundrel and bring him back to us. This individual may be some sort of spy or hacker, I don't know what, but he's obviously not a well-meaning, honest citizen like you are if he's accessing my files.

Post haste, post haste, harumpumpum! Here is a picture of the villain.

-Netpolice Officer BrassMan
Well, at least he didn't have to wait that long. Upon realizing he had a response, SplashMan got up and checked the reply, and actually remembering to display it on Sabrina's PET for her viewing pleasure. "Ooh, a Bubbler! We'll finally have an Aqua chip when we complete this! But, you're the boss...should we accept this?"

"Of course! If for no other reason than the fact it helps the Officials out! Plus it's easy as cake if that Navi cooperates..."

"Yeah! I'll do a reply now!" This post took far less than the previous one to make. "...Oh, shoot! I accidentally posted it already!"

"Don't worry, just put it up on the screen so I can read it! I'm sure you did good!"

"Er, okay!"

'A Bubbler will be just fine! I'll make sure your files don't get illegally accessed!

-SplashMan.EXE'

"Looks good. Now jack out, SplashMan! Let's go jack-in directly from SciLab!"

"Okay!" And in a sudden flash, the Aqua navi was gone.

(back to ACDC's real world)
'Mission complete! As you know, that guy's in custody, even though he tried to look like both of us! One thing bugs me, though...has that NormalNavi that I got tricked into attacking complained about me? If he has, or if he does, tell him I'm sorry for me, okay?

-SplashMan.EXE'
Oh, don't worry. We compinsated him for his loss, harumpumpum. It's amazing how these things happen. The sheer wile of criminals these days! To think that they use their creativity for the purposes of evil, harumpumpum, when it could be put to such effective use in our central military!

Here's that bubbler battlechip I promised you. Use it well, my boy!

Er, and young lady.

-NetPolice Officer BrassMan

*Recieve: Bubbler*
"Hooray! Got the data! Sending it over now!" SplashMan held the 'precious' chip data above his head as it disappeared from the network, only to reappear in his operator's PET.

"Blank chip is in!...And, it's copied!" The PET spat out a chip with a picture of a Shrimpy on it, only to be caught by Sabrina's waiting hand. "That wasn't too bad! Although it's a good thing you can't use GMO files!"

"Yeah! And now we've finally got our first Aqua chip! I'm one step closer to being the greatest Aqua Navi ever!"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far...anyway, jack out! I want us to do some more busting over in ACDC!"

"Even though we've never found an aqua virus there?"

"I'll explain on the way! Come on, let's go!"

"Oh, fine! Be that way!" Not happy that he was being rushed, the Aqua Navi folded his arms as he vanished in a beam of light.

(back to SciLab's real world)
"Aha!" SplashMan now stood before the board used to request missions. "I shall post a message, post haste! ...But first, should we ask for cash, or another Bubbler chip?"

"Hmm..." Sabrina pondered the question for a moment. "Eh, ask for cash. We know where Shrimpy are, and we can beat them, so we can get Bubbler chips whenever we want now!"

"Okay!" The next 5 minutes or so were spent writing a new message for the board. "There, all done and sent!"

"Sent? Mind showing me?"

"Okay!" The Aqua Navi transmitted the data from the board to the PET screen:

'SplashMan here again! I'd like to request another mission, and I'm still up for whatever! I'd like to request a reward of 1000z (unless you'd like to give out more...) instead of a GMO file, though. It was an option last time, and I still can't use a GMO file besides my default one. I await a response!

-SplashMan.EXE'

"That'll work. Now we just need to wait!"

SplashMan took several steps backward, sat down, and began to wait on a response.
(bumpity)
Another mission for cash, eh? Well, so long as you're willing to help. There's been some strange virus activity noted in ACDC area. Large gatherings of Spikey viruses.

Your mission: Scout out the ACDC area, and return here when you have either neutralized or collected sufficient data on the Spikeys.

Your reward will be 1000z.
"Ahh...huh?" By this point, SplashMan was lying down, about ready to take a quick snooze. Fortunately, the sounds of a reply prevented him from doing so. "All right! They replied!"

"Well, what's our mission?"

"Hmm...apparently there's been a lot of Spikeys in ACDC lately. We have to investigate why, and/or bring the extra ones down!"

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem. You ARE an Aqua Navi, after all!"

"Yep! So, I'm ready to jack out and head there any time!"

"Way ahead of ya!"

"Huh?" And apparently he was not ready to jack out at any time, judging by his surprised expression as he disappeared in a flash of light.

(to SciLab's real world!)
"Here we are! The NetPolice BBS!" SplashMan promptly brought up a menu, then started working on his response. "By the way, got all the chips together, Sabrina?"

"Almost, I just can't find one of the Shotg-oh, never mind, here it is!"

"Okay, that's good!" A few minutes of silence occured as the Navi wrote his response. "And sent! I'll put up what I wrote on the PET screen now!"

"Please do!"

'I went to ACDC Area, and soon found the large group of Spikeys. I battled them, and successfully deleted most of them. One did get away, though...but the main threat's gone. Reward, please!

-SplashMan.EXE'

"Nothing like being blunt about getting your reward, huh SplashMan?"

"..."
You let one get away? Normally, we're not people who use many colloquialisms, but I believe the term "Facepalm" would perfectly describe right now.
Even so, your description of the viruses, and the fact that you broke up the group for now, completes your mission. 1000 zennies is your reward.

(MagicCereal get: 1000z!)
If SplashMan had a tongue, he would've razzed the board after reading the response. Ah well, at least they got their reward. "Well, at least we got our reward..."

"Yep. If they didn't want any to get away, they should've asked a faster Navi!"

"What? Am I not fast or something?"

"When it comes to running, no, not really."

"Aww...so, anyway, what do you want to do now?"

"Oh, I dunno...we're here in ACDC, so I guess we might as well do a little regular busting here!"

"Okay! Can I jack out first, though? I wanna be in great shape for it!"

"Not a problem! Jacking out...now!"

"Thank you!" And in a flash, SplashMan disappeared.

(the return to ACDC's real world!)
"Well, I'm here! And I'm still tired!" SplashMan was now at the BBS, hands folded across his chest.

"I'll jack you out once we get our mission! Now start posting!"

"Okay, okay..." There was some silence as the post was typed. "......Done! And, posted!"

"And what did you post?"

"This!" And so, the newest post appeared on the PET screen:

'Me again! Just here to request another mission! I'd like to request a reward of 1000z, like last time! And as usual, I'm up for anything!

SplashMan.EXE'
Hmmm? YOU AGAIN!?
There is a "disruption" being sensed in Yumland, head there to investigate.
Try looking for strange viruses and the sort.
Thanks for your assistance.
You will be rewarded 1000z for a good analysis of what happened.
"Oh, a response!" SplashMan promptly and quickly began to read the message. "Well Sabrina, I have good news and bad news."

"What's the good news?"

"We've got our mission?"

"...And what's the bad news?"

"I think they're getting sick of me..."

"Oi...well, what's the mission?"

"Apparently something weird's going on in Yumland, and they want me to check it out!"

"Yumland? Never been there before. Let's jack out and go there!"

"Okay!...Wait, how are you going to get there?"

"You'll see!"

"If you say so..." SplashMan then disappeared, in a flash of light.

(next up: ACDC's real world)
"Well, I'm here!" SplashMan once more stood in front of the BBS, ready to post his report. "I'm going to get started now!"

"All right, go ahead!"

A few minutes passed as the Navi posted his surely riveting response. "There! Finished and posted! I guess you wanna read it, Sabrina?"

"You guess right."

"Okay, here it is!" And so, the latest post made its way to the PET screen:

'SplashMan here! My operator and I went to Yumland, and checked out the Net. Turns out a Navi called LagMan was causing it, and tried to fight us! He used attacks that made me lag, so I couldn't do as much, but I still showed him who's boss! After I beat him and forced him to jack out, the Net seemed to return to normal, so all should be well. Oh, and in case he tries to do something like this again, here's some advice in case you get someone else to check it out: it looked like LagMan is weak to high-accuracy chips like MarkCannon1, so see if they have anything like that!

-SplashMan.EXE'
Thank you for your assistance.
Here's your award. And thanks for the tip.

Get: 1000z
"Reward gotten! And this time they didn't make any snappy remarks about something I messed up on!" SplashMan collected the cash data, then sent it over to his operator's PET. "Well, I'm kinda tired after that fight. Can I jack out for a little while?"

"Sure! I need to think about something for a little bit, anyway."

"All right! I'm heading back now!" The Navi took a few steps backward, then disappeared from where he stood, and headed for his next destination; the safe confines of a PET.

(back to Yumland's real world)