Resolutions 10: Pirouette and Phero

Welcome! Thank you for participating in the Donation Drive by offering your resolutions. I hope you two will encourage each other to be your best in times to come!

-Holly.EXE

((Post here only if your navi's name is in the title. To be eligible for FXP once the event's over, you will need to post at least twice: once to set up your navi's resolution and an example this year that shows they need to make this resolution, and then a second with your navi's encouragement to their BBS partner. The threads will remain open until around January 15th. You're free to back and forth as much as you'd like until that time! Note also that this is a BBS thread, so your navis are not going to be physically meeting. You may have them connect with video or such if you want, but they're not actually meeting in person.

For any questions, ask Aim. And have fun!))
Greetings, Pirouette! It's nice to meet new people! Your name is very pretty, but I bet people tell you that a lot, don't they?

My resolution is to become better at reading what people want from me. I'm in an awkward situation lately, having been asked to make many people happy at once, and it's rather difficult helping them all at the same time, especially when they seem to desire eye contact. I've tried a lot of different things... Let me ask you, do you like hugging? How intimately should two people know each other before they hug? I've received mixed reactions... some people like it a lot and some people seem to wish that I hadn't. Would you consider greeting a stranger with a hug?

There's a friend of mine who's very hard to read... she seems to like picking on me. How can I make her happy if she wants to pick on me all the time? I can't just let myself get played around with all the time, can I? And even if I could, would that make her happy? Have you ever met someone that likes picking on you, Pirouette? How would you handle someone like that?

Thanks for your help!
Phero.EXE
Hello miss Phero! Thank you, and I am pleased that you like my name. I am quite fond of it myself! I fear you have, what is the phrase? It is the most pointed... no, sorry that one is, you have struck the nail squarely... What I mean is, you are right, that different people view things like hugging in different ways. Some people are happy to be hugged by strangers and acquaintances, but some other people prefer to reserve that kind of contact for close friends, or even partners alone. There is no right or wrong to this, yes? It is simply a different thing for different people. If you are a person who likes hugs, and likes to give them, then do not be bashful about it for worry, I would say, but all the same, be cautious and aware; if someone seems like they do not welcome such a gesture, you must respect that, too, you know? The same is true for you, of course! If you do not wish to hug a person, you should not feel compelled to, just because they wish it. A hug is only a proper hug if both people enjoy it, you know?

Hmmm... I think that if you have a 'friend' who only ever seems to pick on you, miss Phero, then that person is not really your friend. If you do not enjoy the way they treat you, then a stop should be put to it. Perhaps they are not aware that the way they treat you makes you unhappy or uncomfortable, you know? You must make them aware of it. If they continue to treat you poorly when they are aware of how it makes you feel, then miss Phero I feel that you should probably not continue to have any kind of association with them. That is what I would do, in such a situation.

For myself, I admit, I have not thought overly much about resolutions and the like. Let me think. Perhaps I should like to make a few more friends outside of my classes and performance friends. I do not... how do you say... I do not get out, very much, yes? I tried to make some friends a few months ago, on an unusual excursion, but I fear I behaved in a very judgemental way towards them, and I think I did not bond with them as firmly as I may have. I do not regret this, of course... I have strong feelings about many things, and I do not bend them for others, but even so... Perhaps I should make more effort to be more understanding of others, no?

-Pirouette

Hm... The only time I don't enjoy a hug is if the other person doesn't. I guess I'll just have to go with the average! I'll assume they like it since most people do, and if they don't, I won't do a second one.

I'm not so sure about my friend any more, I think I embarrassed them a bit. I think I'm the one picking on them now! It's all so confusing... I hope they aren't going to stop being my friend because I was a bit mean to them...

As for friends, I'll be happy to be your friend! It's a bit hard for me to arrange meetings... my operator is pretty protective... but we can be pen pals if you want? As for your friends, I don't think it's such a bad thing to try to get outside your comfort zone a bit for others. After all, speaking from experience, sometimes it can be really difficult to meet new people or keep friends. And I know at least one person who's so focused on her work... and her ego, not saying that's like you... that she never makes any real friends. It's dangerous, to be too independent! Opening yourself up can be very important sometimes. I get what you're saying, that you don't need to regret sticking to your beliefs, but be careful not to get too stuck in your ideas either!

Sorry if that was sort of preachy. I just reeeeally don't want anybody else to end up like my operator... for their sake as well as others! It's a pretty nasty way to live.

Let me know if you want to talk about anything else!
-Phero.EXE
I suppose what I would suggest, miss Phero, would be to offer hugs as much as you'd like to, but wait before actually engaging the other person until they've acknowledged that they are willing to accept it. Perhaps that will make things simpler?

I think, in terms of upsetting your friends by accident, I would say that friendships are made to endure little difficulties; be sincere, yes? And honest, and if someone has been upset by something you have done, let them know that you understand, and do not wish to upset them further. If a friend cannot forgive you for a sincere mistake, then they are not so much a friend, you know?

I would not mind continuing to write you, miss Phero. After all, part of this event is to help foster new and unexpected friendships, is it not? Perhaps you could tell me a little more about yourself, and we could maybe find a way and the time to share a coffee and a chat, no?

For myself, I am a ballerina, and I assist my operator with teaching his classes and demonstrations for the students. I have been with Mikhail for many years now, though I admit, the life has not been one that has a great deal to talk about to someone on the outside, yes? It is all very much involved with the work and the training and the practice, you know, and little else outside of it.
Alright, from here on out, I'll ask the person if they want the hug before engaging. That seems simple enough! You're pretty knowledgeable about all of these things. Finding a way to get out and meet will be difficult, because my operator keeps a close leash on my time out, but if you want to write me some more, my e-mail is DharmaHP@HeartPayne.com. I don't think she'd object if we just wrote each other.

Well, if there's one person who can sympathize with having a life that's eaten up by work and not a lot of time to get out and meet people, it's me. Hopefully, we'll both find a way to 'pull a fast one over' on our operators, if I'm using that phrase right, and get away to have some fun! We'll show our mean operators it's not all about work!

Speaking of which, I'm in the middle of some work right now that I probably ought to finish. Nice talking to you, Pirouette!

-Phero.EXE

Ah, well do not let me distract you from your own work, of course. I think it should be nice to write, and if you do find a chance to take some time for yourself, I'm sure that Mikhail would be quite pleased to know I am making friends outside of the school, you know?

I can be reached here: WhiteSwanOfSharo@DenTech.Net at most any time, so perhaps I will hear from you again, yes? take care until then, miss Phero!

-Pirouette
((Phero and Pirouette get +8FXP!))